CHAPTER 52
She danced, and at the same time, opened a window into her soul.
I step through the front door of Wet Tips tonight as a patron. The familiar hum of bass rattles through my chest the moment I hit the main floor and it’s there, I stop for a moment, to take it all in and pat the sobriety coin in my pocket.
Partly, in remembrance of the road I’ve traveled. A reminder that I don’t ever want to go back to the man I was before rehab. But also in thanks for this second chance. A chance to spend the rest of my life proving to the woman I love that I’m worthy of her.
It’s been three months, a week, and a day since I was last here, and yet it feels like a whole hell of a lot longer.
Everything feels different. Music hits differently.
The wind and sun on my skin, the rumble of my bike beneath me, even colors, scents, and food, they just all hit me more intensely, as if they were dulled by the pain or the poison in my veins.
Even the way the lights on the stage seem to hold more color.
Probably because I’m no longer lost to the grey fog of pain I was in, which is thanks to my new medication and pain management regimen.
My name is shouted from the left, and turning, I find my brothers in their usual spots waiting for me, smirks plastered on their faces.
Bodie stands to greet me with a wide, mischievous as hell grin. “Whew wee! Lookin’ good, old man!” he hollers. He grips my arm, and I grip his. Then he’s bringing me in for a bone-crushing hug and claps me on the back.
Dozer is next up. “How’s life on the straight and narrow, brother?”
I shrug, a smile pulling at my lips. “Feels like trying to walk a tightrope every damn day, but I’m good.
Damn good. My reason is solid as fuck, and it’s nice to be outta there.
” Dozer’s hug puts Bodie’s to shame. Cap’s right behind him, and looking him in the eye is something I’ve been dreading.
But maybe I shouldn’t have, because he just claps me on the shoulder and murmurs, “I’m proud of you.
” It stirs up a wealth of warm feelings in my chest and has the tension that built instantly upon seeing him disintegrating into nothing.
To tell the truth, I’m proud of myself, too.
Their greeting sets off a chain reaction. Every HOC takes their turn welcoming me back to the fold.
There are quite a few members I haven’t seen in months.
Bodie and Dozer, though, visited a number of times.
They kept my spirits up, encouraging me to keep going.
Bodie had even charmed the nurses into letting him visit outside of normal hours and brought in treats, shit regular patients weren’t allowed to have.
The downside was being buggered by the nurses for the next few days to see when he might stop back by, as if the man lived off some kind of schedule or something. Hah!
Dozer’s gifts were more practical. He brought me some free weights and a pull-up bar so I could focus on something helpful like getting back into shape.
With all the time I had on my hands, having that outlet had been a life raft. The free time you have to think can drive you fucking crazy if you focus on all you have to regret and atone for.
Stone is the only one who doesn’t get up to greet me. He gives me a chin lift as a hello, which speaks volumes.
Now that I know what I know about him, the signs are easier to spot.
As a unit, we make our way toward the bar, and Cap orders a round of drinks.
Bryan, my bartender, greets me and shakes my hand.
He looks a little uncomfortable when he asks me what I’ll have, and I get it.
It’s weird as fuck for me too, but I put him at ease and order a water.
It’s the first time I’ve had the choice, but it’s an easy one, seeing as alcohol wasn’t my vice, but it contributed to my problem.
“So, Bodie said your surgery is just around the corner and you’ll want a few of us going to Cali with you?” Dozer asks after things settle down.
“Yeah. You, Bodie, and Griz, if that’s alright.”
He looks at me a little odd, but nods. “Alright. Then, we’ll be there.”
I slap his back. “I appreciate it.”
Griz meets my gaze for a moment, and we share a quiet conversation in that look, a worry about how shit is going to go down when I fill Dozer and the others in on what’s going on.
I catch sight of Raven moving through the table towards me, and just as I stand from my stool, she throws her arms around me, giving me a tight hug.
“Hey, you,” I say with real affection.
She draws back and slaps my bicep. “It’s so damn good to see you.”
“You too.”
“Was wondering when you were going to show. Lily said you’d be here sooner.”
“Turns out getting out of rehab is somehow more of a pain in the ass than getting in.”
She chuckles. “Lily would come out, but they don’t have much time before they go on. Plus, she didn’t want to give away any hints about tonight’s show. Glad you’re here, though, because she was having a meltdown thinking you were going to miss it.”
“Does she know I’m here?”
She laughs. “Are you kidding? She’s been watching the door all night from backstage. She knows.”
A big grin splits across my face at this. “Good.”
“Yeah, make sure you wrangle yourself a good seat. This number tonight is one she’s been quite the drill sergeant about. It means a lot to her. She’s been fucking relentless at practice.”
“That bad?”
“Two girls quit.” I raise a brow, but Raven waves me off. “A loss, but not a big one. It’s fine. I’ve already found someone to replace one of them, and I’ll hold auditions soon.”
“You did good, Raven. I appreciate you taking over things for me. I’ve heard nothing but high praise.”
She sidles up closer and nudges my shoulder. “So about that raise…”
I laugh and nudge her back. “You got it.”
Her eyes light up. “Really?”
“Yeah. You’ve earned it. I was also thinking we’d make it official and change your title to manager.”
“Oh my God. If I’d known the way to your heart was a long vacation, I would have made you take one ages ago.” We both laugh at her ribbing and word usage. Vacation . If only. “Well, we’re about to start, so I’d better get back there.”
“Tell her to break a leg or whatever it is you’re supposed to say.”
Raven nods and turns. She runs smack into Bodie, whose gaze is down as if he’d been checking out her ass. As she glares at him, he runs his thumb over his lip. Raven rolls her eyes. “Bodie,” She says in a low, smoky voice.
“Yeah, babe?”
“For the love of God, I’m a lesbian and I have a girlfriend.
We’ve been together for two years. You have no chance.
Like, none whatsoever. Not only am I not attracted to you, I plan to ask her to marry me.
” He opens his mouth to respond, and she holds her hand up.
“No, you can’t be our third. Because again, you don’t have the necessary equipment for what gets us off, and in case you haven’t figured it out yet, I’m the top…
as in, I’m the one that does the fuckin’, so unless you’d like your ass pegged, no. You know what? Not even then.”
“You’ve had a girlfriend for two years?” We all bust a gut when that’s the question he responds with. But then he follows it up with, “Wait, wait, wait. You’re the man in this relationship?”
“Top.”
“Yeah, top or whatever.”
She laughs and shoots me a look. Bodie’s eyes track her gaze and lock with mine.
Oh shit.
His gaze pings from her to me, and back again.
His incredulous look finally settles on me when Raven walks away with her hands in the air.
“Just sayin’,” she calls out. “Dick and balls are not my cup of tea unless they’re the ones I’m strapping on myself.
So find a new obsession, or I’m going to kick your ass. ”
“Ohhhh, Goosie, you have some es’plainin’ to do,” He singsongs, and I run a hand through my hair, groaning. I already know the shit I’m about to receive from him.
“It’s been pretty obvious, man. You’ve even met her before,” Dozer adds. Bodie looks around at all the other HOCs. “You all knew about this girlfriend? And that Raven’s a top?”
A few of them shrug and nod.
“You fuckers. And you kept me in the dark on purpose.”
“We just wanted to see how long it would take you to figure it out,” Dozer tells him, chuckling under his breath.
Bodie points at Griz, who’s smirking; at Taz, who is spinning a toothpick in his mouth around a manic grin; and at Cap, who’s shaking his head in disapproval of us all.
“Asshole’s, the lot of ya.” He pouts and plops onto a stool at the bar. He shoots a glare at each of us and then says something that totally throws me off. “Well, I have a secret too. And it’s about your girl.”
“What?”
“I’m not sayin’ shit.’”
He shrugs as the corner of his mouth hikes up. Fucker.
Then it dawns on me. I sidle closer. “Oh, do you mean about your little Harley and Joker adventure?”
He shushes me before asking, “She told you?”
“Of course she did.”
“And?”
“And what? It’s not like I can do anything about it now.”
“Right. Yeah. No. That’s, uh-mmm” he coughs “kind of a done deal. No takebacks.”
“From what I hear, he deserved it and then some.”
“So we’re good. You’re not pissed?”
I shake my head and cross my arms as I lean against the bar. “Nah, we’re good. Just thankful you had her back. Means a lot to me that you did.”
His gaze stays level on me for a minute, and then he slowly nods.
“What?”
He shakes his head once. “Just good to have you back, man. Like, back back.”
I grin, understanding what he means. “It’s nice to be back. It’s been a hell of a wild ride.”
“That it has.”
“And I’m glad you’ve been right there beside me through it. Not sure I’d have made it otherwise.”
I slap his back and cure him of the emotional moment when I see his eyes tear up.
Then the lights dim, and the entire mood in the club shifts. You can feel it like a physical force charging the air, and it sends anticipation crawling up my spine.
Bodie shoulder checks me. “Brace yourself, brother.”