CHAPTER 53 #2
The corner of his mouth hikes up as he fishes the dog tag free from my cleavage. His grip slides up the chain until it tightens around my neck, giving him the leverage he needs to draw me closer. His blue eyes burn with need as they travel over my face.
“Just wanted to get a good, long look first before I make a mess out of you.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah,” he says, voice husky.
I smile wickedly. “Go right ahead.”
“Give me those goddamn lips, Woman,” he growls. Using the chain, he tugs me forward. His lips crash against mine, leaving me no other option than to surrender to him. I melt against his body and let myself get lost for a moment in the way he makes me feel.
The kiss is filthy—raw, unrestrained need. His tongue tangles with mine, coaxing, dominating, devouring. I moan and let my hands explore his chest like they’re learning a second language. He bites my bottom lip, then sucks it into his mouth, groaning when I whimper.
When he finally breaks away, we’re both breathless. He rests his forehead against mine, one hand still on the chain, the other cradling my face.
“You fuckin’ wreck me, baby. And god, I missed you.”
My hand slides down, cupping his dick through his jeans. His eyes close, jaw clenched as a tortured sound escapes him. The sound is music to my ears.
“How much?” I ask, as I begin jacking him.
“Lil’ Bird.” He shakes his head.
Drawing back, he asks, “Are you gonna be my dirty little vixen today? Is that what this is about?” He dips his chin, indicating my dress, and then lays his hand over mine, adding pressure.
“I was leaning that way.” I flash him a sly grin.
“Tell me then what you want—what you need, Lil’. I wanna know exactly how you want it.”
“How do I want you?” I tease, my tone soft and sensual, but also curious as to what he means. “I think you know the answer to that.”
His grip on my neck tightens, making my breath hitch. It also sends a zing of pleasure rippling through me.
“I wanna know how this plays out in that wicked little mind of yours. How you’ve always wanted it, but never trusted anyone enough to say it out loud.”
I caress his face with my gaze, memorizing every contour.
His straight brows, deep-set eyes, and his beautiful lips, half hidden behind his goatee.
Seeing strands of hair about to fall into his eyes, I sweep them back and run my nails lovingly through the hair by his temple.
He grants me one of his rare, precious smiles.
“The God’s honest truth?”
“Yeah, the God’s honest truth.”
So I let the words spill from me—no lies, no pretty omissions.
“I want a man who’s not afraid to fuck me.
And I mean fuck me—raw, real, and sinfully dirty.
Someone who has no trouble taking control without abusing it.
He can throw me around as long as it’s for pleasure.
And I love all surfaces—it doesn’t have to be in a bed. ”
I run my thumb over his bottom lip, and he nips at it. “Go on.”
“I want to be taken without being taken advantage of. I want a man who will be a man—but still let the softer parts of me shine. Who makes room for those darker, naughtier parts, too. Someone who loves them all equally. Mostly, I want someone who’ll treat my body like it’s his own personal toy made for his pleasure, but give me the same in return on those rare days when I need to be the one in charge. ”
Saying it out loud makes me nervous about his response, but I push through and give him everything I’ve felt but never given voice to.
“Control is something I’ve always had in situations like this, but more often than not, I want to let go and just feel—without having to think.
I want to be so overwhelmed by it that I can’t think. ”
“You want it taken from you? Not handed over— taken ? Control?”
“Yes. Not all the time, but… yeah, that’s what I’ve fantasized about.”
“That kind of dynamic requires a level of trust. Safety. A way to stop things—so you know you can always stop me if you’re not feeling it.”
I open my mouth, ready to make a smartass comment to lighten the moment, and he must know it’s coming, because he presses his thumb over my lips.
“We don’t need safe words,” he says. “What I need you to promise me is that if you ever want to stop, or get triggered, or things change, or whatever the case may be, you speak up. That’s it. Just be honest with me about how you’re feeling. Can you do that?”
When he removes his hand, I let a slow grin stretch across my lips. “Yeah, baby. I can do that.”
A relationship with Finn isn’t like anything I’ve ever had before. There’s nothing fake, nothing unclear. It’s a baring of our souls—leaving no room for ambiguity.
Not able to help myself, I go on. “I’m not done.” He chuckles, and the smile that spreads across his face steals my heart.
“I want a man who will sate himself with me. Edge me. Make me beg for it—damn near torture me in the process. I want to be so far gone with wanting that I lose my mind. So close to breaking that I don’t know which way is up.”
He takes my hand and sucks on my thumb, which makes it hard to concentrate, but somehow I do, though the steadiness in my voice wavers.
“I want to see that primal side of you. Hear it in your voice. I don’t want a man who holds back or is too afraid to ask for what he wants.
I want someone depraved enough to say fuck it and take it—who craves the taste of me on his fingers and face.
Then—after we’ve exhausted ourselves—I want to find the other sides of that man.
The one who holds me like I mean more to him than his ego will admit. ”
He releases my thumb and brings my knuckles to his lips. “I can do that.” His irises are dark with promise, pupils blown wide. He opens his mouth to say more, but I raise a brow because I’m still not done.
“I’ve been taken like this by one man.” I hold up my finger for emphasis.
“One man in my life. And honestly, I used to wish it hadn’t happened.
I really fucking did. But it was that fucking good with him every time, so I couldn’t.
Every goddamn woman should know what that feels like—at least once.
So I’m not willing to part with those memories, no matter how much they cost me. ”
“Oh, yeah?” By his deepening grin, I can tell he’s catching on now. “If he was that good in bed… and gentle and caring afterwards… where is he?”
“Standing right in front of me. Alive and well. And thank-fucking-you for making the rest of my sexual experiences utterly unsatisfying. I went ten fucking years without it—and then I only had a few days to re-experience it before it was taken away from me again.” I draw out the last word.
His sends a flutter through my stomach.
“Well, what do you say we try for a never-ending trilogy? Third time’s a charm and all that.”
“Yeah, but sometimes the sequels aren’t better than the originals.”
His smile widens. “I’m thinking this one just might be.”
He lets go of the chain, and his hands trail down my body. When they get to my thighs, he circles them and says, “Up.”
I lace my fingers behind his neck, and when I jump, he catches me—my legs instantly locking around his waist. The slam of his office door is loud and aggressive, but it’s the best sound I’ve heard all night. Because finally, he’s all mine and I don’t plan to come up for air anytime soon.
He walks me across the room and swipes his hand across the desk, sending everything clattering to the floor.
Lying me out on top of it, he follows me down, covering me with his weight.
His fingers bury themselves in my hair as he pulls me in—his mouth capturing mine in a kiss that short-circuits my brain.
He teases me with playful nips on my lower lip before pulling back to study my face.
“It was that good, huh?”
“Yes, you bastard.” I slap his arm.
Our breaths mingle as he caresses my cheekbone. “Because I gave you that kind of experience in the first place, or because it was only for a limited time?”
“It’s like being given the most delicious chocolate bar and having it cut out of your diet entirely! You tell me what that could do to a person.”
He chuckles. “Well, no more diets. You can have anything your little heart desires, Lil’ Bird, anything.
” I love that he’s playing along, joking about our messed-up past and giving me these lighthearted moments.
“I wish I could remember every single second of those moments with you, but some of them I may never get back.”
“I know. It’s okay.”
“I’m not sure how sex with me now is going to compare to the hot stud you had in your bed all those years ago?
Hope I don’t fall short of those expectations.
” His forehead meets mine. He lifts my hand and laces our fingers together.
The gesture and sincerity in his expression warms my heart, and abso-fucking-lutely melts me.
“First of all, there was no bed. It was a new mattress on the floor because you hadn’t bought a bedframe yet. And it wasn’t mine. It was yours.”
He tilts his head, squinting his eyes as if in deep thought. “There’s something. Laughing. Candy and a little box TV on the floor.”
I grin, warmth bubbling in my chest. “Our movie marathons while I was healing. You rented every action flick and bought a shitload of candy. Then lost your mind when I told you I didn’t know who Indiana Jones was. You ran out, rented every one of those movies, and made me watch them.”
“I did?”
“Yes, you were adamant that I be properly educated about those movies in particular.”
His smile softens. “They were my dad’s favorite.”
“Yeah, I know, baby.”
He closes his eyes for a beat, and when they reopen, he says, “I can hear your laugh in my head.”
Which pulls a laugh from me.
He smiles as he gazes down at me. “That one.”