Chapter 11
CHAPTER ELEVEN
PHOENIX
When I open my eyes the next morning, it’s still dark. I shove my blanket aside and roll out of the bed, feeling wide awake. Determined, I pad over to my bathing suite to splash my face with cold water and then I dress in my leathers.
Thankfully, as the Ezkai General I don’t have to wear fancy suits, or dresses. An Ezkai General is supposed to be practical, humble. Just like the Order of Ezkai.
Once I have strapped all my weapons to me, I head outside. The moment I open my door, both Ezkai guarding my door at all times press their fists over their hearts and dip their chins.
“Gentlemen,” I murmur and stride down the corridor.
They follow me.
My personal space is my own; they keep at a distance so I don’t feel them breathing down my neck. But this is exhausting. The hairs on the back of my neck prickle. I roll my shoulders to ease the tension.
I need a clear mind and open heart this morning.
When I went to see Kazh, I wanted to master the thing that terrifies me the most, my subconscious. But after that chilling visit to the spy lair…I feel like I’m running out of time.
I need to prioritize, and finding my dragon is at the top of my list.
Thankfully, I don’t feel Lorca’s presence inside my mind today. It doesn’t mean that won’t change. The trickster god loves to show up at the worst possible time.
I have no trouble finding the meditation temple Noire told me about. The stone path winds down through the plum orchard all the way to the modest earthen building with wooden shutters instead of windows.
So early in the morning, the air is crisp. It’s eerily quiet. My feet are soft as I take the two wide steps up and enter through the open archway into the temple.
Luckily, my instincts are sharp. I dodge Kazh’s cane just in time before she whacks me over the head with it.
“Shoes, you shithead!” my mentor scolds me. “The audacity! You’re in a sacred place of meditation.”
“Alright, alright,” I murmur and untie my laces.
I look around the bare interior. The walls and floors are beige, blending into each other. Thick fur carpets line the floors. No pictures, no decor, except for a couple of incense holders on a stone table behind Kazh.
“Stay there,” Kazh spits at my escorts when they try to enter.
With expressionless faces, they take their spots on each side of the archway outside the temple.
Kazh slowly makes her way towards the center of the space. There’s a limp when she walks that wasn’t there before.
Frowning, I cock my head to the side. “What happened to you?”
Kazh whirls on her heel and pins me with a glare that makes me want to shrink. “Mind your own goddamn business, youngling! Forget learning about the blessed trinity, how about we start with some respect for your elders?”
Lifting my hands in the air defensively, I leave the subject be.
I stretch my limbs while I pad over to the middle of the space. The fur is soft. I want to lie down and take a nap. A yawn escapes me before I can stop it.
“What are you waiting for? Get into lotus position. Now.”
I turn to Kazh. “We need to talk.”
She folds her wrinkled hands over the head of her cane and pins me with her intense gaze. “I’m here to train you, not chitchat.”
“Kazh, I need to find the dragon. Quickly. The training will have to wait until I do that, there are things that are about to—”
She cuts me off. “Get in the fucking lotus now or I’m leaving.”
I clamp my mouth shut. For a heartbeat I stand there, glaring at her. But then, I lower myself to the floor and fold my feet underneath me.
Once I’m seated, hands resting on my thighs, Kazh approaches me. The rugs soak up the sound of her cane tapping on the floor.
“You’re scattered. Distracted. Greedy,” she seethes.
“Blood debt. Pass new laws. End the reign of one of the oldest and most powerful families in the history of Ekios. Learn to kill with emotional manipulation, master the blessed trinity, bond the dragon.” She mocks me, mimicking my voice.
I sit watching her, unmoving. “You can’t have it all at the same time, youngling.
Choices and sacrifices must be made. I know it’s hard for the two brain cells of yours to fathom, but how about you at least try. ”
“I know—”
“Do you?” Kazh cuts me off. “Do you really? If you’ve learned anything by now, you’d know that despite the title you hold, you’ve got limitations. You’re only one person.”
Right then, Lorca stirs. I close my eyes with a sigh.
Master Oka Oya is right, the trickster god purrs. You’re such a stubborn student.
Fuck off, I snap before I can stop myself.
When the sharp claws touch my mind, they’re gentle yet threatening. And terribly rude.
Leave me alone, please. There are no souls for you to claim, I say with a better attitude.
I know, Lorca says with a sigh as if they’re disappointed in me. I was hoping to witness you learning at least one lesson.
Before I can ask what they mean, the god vanishes from my mind.
I don’t realize I’m making a face until Kazh says, “What is Lorca saying?”
I blink, refocusing on her. “Nothing.”
Kazh tilts her head to the side. “Stubborn little shit.”
I roll my eyes. “Let’s get on with it. What do you want me to do? I told you, plans have changed. Before, the priority was to master the blessed trinity and killing with emotional manipulation. Now, it’s to find my dragon and bond with it.”
“Your dragon?”
“Yes. The one I had a connection to during the Trial of Wisdom.”
“Arrogant. That’s what you are.”
I glance behind her, to the archway where my Ezkai stand guard, and then back to her.
Dropping my voice to almost a whisper, I say, “Kazh. Caligos are planning something. Noire and his spies are working to figure out the details. I got the warning from one of the Caligos they captured and…interrogated.”
She watches me down her nose for a long while.
“More reasons for you to master the blessed trinity,” she finally says.
My shoulders sag. “Kazh, please.”
She taps her cane, the sound dulled by the rugs. “Enough. Back straight, engage your core. Close your eyes and steady your breath.”
Despite the urge to argue, I obey her. If she leaves, I’ll have to grovel again. She may not forgive me this time. And I need her for this. I need Kazh’s support and mentorship if I’m to accomplish all the things I must.
With closed eyes, I exhale until my lungs are completely empty. It takes me longer than usual to calm my running mind and thrashing heart.
Inhale.
Exhale.
I don’t feel.
I don’t think.
I simply am.
A calm lake.
“Now, search for the door you already know.” Kazh’s voice reaches my ears.
I steel myself and go deeper into my mind. I know what to look for, and where to find it. When the familiar door emerges, my heart doesn’t even stutter.
My core burns, and I cling to that feeling like my life depends on it.
“Keep the connection to your physical body strong,” Kazh instructs.
I reach for the door handle just as distant shouts reach my ears. Weapons drawn, steel clanging. It breaks my concentration and my eyes shoot open.
I blink, disoriented for a moment. Kazh stands in front of me, but she’s facing the archway where my guards stand with their weapons drawn. Quickly, I rise and approach to get a better look at whoever is at the bottom of the stairs.
It’s just another Ezkai. He’s panting, nose red from the cold.
“What’s going on?” I place my hands on the guards’ shoulders. They lower their swords, but remain rooted in place. A shield between me and the fae who just arrived.
He presses his fist to his chest and bows at his waist. “General. An urgent message just arrived for you.”
I look around and behind him.
Kazh comes to stand at my side. “What sort of message is worth interrupting your General’s meditation, you fuckwit?”
The Ezkai looks up, blinking. “Ah—I’m sorry, General. But it was just delivered with a small package and I was told to bring it to you immediately.”
“Has the Taaslord approved?” one of my guards, Ezkai Emil, asks.
It’s the first time I’ve heard him speak since he’s been guarding me. His voice is raspy, stone grinding on stone.
“I have not brought it to the Taaslord, but directly to the General,” the Ezkai says.
“You know the damn rules,” my second guard, Ezkai Bjorn, speaks up. “All packages must be vetted before they’re presented to the General.”
“It’s okay,” I say and slip between them to reach the messenger. I extend my palm for him. “Show it to me.”
My guards exchange a couple of words and Ezkai Emil takes off, leaving only Ezkai Bjorn with me. I’m sure he’s headed to see Noire and inform him of this.
The messenger hands me a small box with a note attached. Immediately my heart sinks. I’m frozen for a heartbeat.
I know this box.
It’s the same one I received with Vera’s choker during my inauguration.
With trembling fingers, I remove the bow and the top of the box. My knees almost give out when I see what’s inside.
A finger.
A severed finger.
Vera’s finger.
“General—” the messenger starts.
“Get the fuck outta here,” Kazh snaps at him and the Ezkai excuses himself.
She approaches me and peeks into the box. “A message from Caligos.”
I swallow the ball lodged in my throat. But I can’t form words, so I only nod.
Kazh takes the box from me. “What’s in the note?”
I struggle to untie the string and unwrap it. Kazh waits patiently until I finally do. It’s a short note written in the same handwriting as the last note:
Your days are numbered, General.
Vera D’Argent sends her regards.
I hand the note to Kazh. Her face darkens immediately.
“I told you,” I say quietly. “They’re gearing up for something, and they have Vera.”
At least she’s alive. The relief is overwhelming at that thought. She may be hurt, badly. But at least she’s alive. I hope she stays alive long enough so I can find and save her.
Kazh says nothing, lost in thought.
“Kazh, I need your help to find my dragon,” I say, turning to her. “Neither mastering the blessed trinity nor killing with emotional manipulation will help. But a bonded dragon might.”
“Fine,” she says, meeting my gaze. “We’ll find you a dragon to bond.”