Chapter 55
CHAPTER FIFTY-FIVE
VERA
For days, Reizei keeps me locked in my room. My golden cage.
I’ve got everything one may need, all the comforts I desire. Nothing to hurt myself with, of course. And I’m never alone. Mathilde constantly lounges in my room, keeping an eye on me while she knits one scarf after another. And Maya guards my door like a hawk.
I get no reprieve from my new reality. Not a moment of peace.
At least in my dark cell, I was alone in my misery.
After dinner with Reizei, I crawl into the big bed and stay in it. What’s the point of waking up every morning anyway? Of eating the meals they prepare and bring me? At the end, it only delays the inevitable.
I must die. Otherwise, I’ll be forced to serve.
Someone clears their throat. Slowly, I pull the duvet off my head. Just enough so I can see.
Mathilde stands at the foot of my bed, with her hands folded over her stomach. Flanking her on both sides are two large-as-mountains Caligos. Their tattoos are intricate, heavy.
“Starving yourself isn’t an original idea, miss,” Mathilde says, as if she’s dealing with a toddler. “Lunch is served. You must eat by yourself or these two men will help you.”
Great. Reizei sent his henchmen to force-feed me.
“I’d like to see you try,” I croak and pull the duvet over my head again.
My vocal cords are raw from lack of use these days.
Mathilde sighs. A moment later, someone yanks the blanket off me. Cold air nips at my exposed skin. I curl up into a ball, trying to preserve whatever warmth I have left.
One of the men grabs my ankle and yanks me towards the edge of the bed. I try to hold on to something—anything—but the only thing I manage to grab is my pillow, which is not much help.
Well…
Just as the other fae reaches for me, I slam the pillow over his face. It barely hurts the man, but it sure startles him enough to pause.
I yank my feet back from my attackers and crawl away from them.
I sneer, “Fuck off!”
Just as the men start prowling towards me, Mathilde raises her hand with another sigh. “Enough. Leave her.”
I’m surprised when the two big bad Caligos listen to my caregiver and leave the room. Once it’s only the two of us, Mathilde says, “There’s not much I can do to help you, miss. You have to help yourself if you want to survive.”
“I don’t.” My voice cracks at the end.
Mathilde watches me for a long, silent moment. Then, she brings the tray with food and sets it on the mattress in front of me.
“Eat,” she says softly.
I stare at the steaming vegetables and grilled tofu on the plate. My stomach growls, mouth filling with saliva at the sight and smell of food.
I’m ravenous.
“Eat,” Mathilde repeats. “There are better ways to die.”
I look up at her before returning my attention to the food. Slowly, I reach for the fork. My fingers spasm just as I’m about to grab it.
I try again. The spasm is too strong. Grabbing that pillow earlier took a toll. I can’t hold it for long.
“You need a mender,” Mathilde says, taking the fork from me. She stabs steamed broccoli with it and brings it up to my mouth. “They may fix some of the damage. At least enough to allow you to use your hands again.”
I’m too tired to resist. So, I open my lips and allow her to feed me. She’s patient with me. And I really take my time, chewing each small bite slowly. I just…I’m so tired, even eating is exhausting.
While she feeds me in silence, I look out the window.
At the storm raging outside. The sky is so grey it gives me chills.
A small part of me, somewhere deep, screams for me to do something.
To react, to act. To do something—anything—to prevent whatever is coming. And something is coming. Something bad.
I just…can’t.
The best I can do is resist Reizei for as long as I can.
You could infiltrate, a dark voice whispers in the corner of my mind.
I could play pretend. I could get out of bed, put on a face, and follow Reizei’s lead. Allow him to dress me, and control me to execute whatever plans he has for me as his…heir.
I could use all my skills, all my charm that I’ve used on House Dzuni and the Order of Ezkai, the Ezkai General himself, to infiltrate Caligos. Tear them apart from inside out. That’s what old Vera would have done.
Chewing on my last bite, I glance down at my trembling hands resting in my lap. The scars that litter my forearms and stretch over my arms are terrible. The menders who healed the bleeding wounds didn’t care to be thoughtful about the way the scars would heal.
The screams of those two poor innocent girls as they were being tortured in front me still ring in my ears. They haunt my dreams every night. Whenever I close my eyes, the streaked blood pops back up.
Infiltrating Caligos would take someone I’m no longer capable of being.
“You need a bath,” Mathilde says.
I look up at her. “I don’t care if I smell.”
“Nonsense,” she says, rising to her feet. “The most famous Caetra in Jaakii certainly cares about it, even in the most dire of circumstances.”
I glare at her back until she leaves the room. Then, I turn my hard gaze on Maya, who stands next to the door.
“If you get me another shard or a knife, this time I’ll not fail,” I say darkly.
Maya doesn’t react to my words.
Not too long after, Mathilde comes back with two young maids. They go into my bathroom, and a moment later the sound of rushing water reaches my ears.
“What do you want from me?” I ask Mathilde. “Why are you doting on me?”
“It is my job and duty to care for all members of this household, miss. I’ve done it for decades now.”
Members of this household. Talbot’s household, she means. I cringe internally at the thought of it. I hate it. Everything about it.
“Your bath is ready, miss. Do you need my assistance?”
She offers with no malicious intent, but I sneer at her still. It’s an instinct to recoil. With shaking legs, I get out of bed and shuffle towards the bathroom, where two maids wait for me by the bathtub filled with steaming water.
They watch me patiently, in silence, as I climb into the damn bathtub after refusing their assistance. Slowly, I submerge myself in the hot water. A sigh escapes my lips once I’m fully in, my body relaxing into the soothing embrace. Oh, it feels so good despite the circumstances.
The maids are swift and professional as they wash my body and carefully tend to my braids while I simply sit and let them. What’s the point in fighting women who are simply doing their job? As far as I know, they may be just as much a prisoner as I am.
Once I’m clean, they help me out of the bath and use fragrant oils to lather my skin and hair until I’m fully pampered. When they wrap me in a plush towel once they’re done, I thank them both.
Mathilde looks up at me from her knitting with shining eyes once I return to the bedroom. “There you go. Feel better?”
I wanna argue and say that I don’t. But that would be a lie. A warm bath and tender pampering does make me feel better. At least a little. So, I simply give her a weak nod and go to find something to wear.
When I open the closet, I only find my tailored suits.
I stand there, staring at them for a long moment.
Years ago, I chose to exclusively wear tailored suits because it was something nobody ever wore.
Caetras were decorative, elaborate. Beautiful creatures to please House Dzuni’s and the Order of Ezkai’s eyes.
Once my name was known in all the important circles, I had no need to look like others. Wearing minimal, structural suits was a way for me to stand out in a crowd.
I have no desire to wear those suits. Not here, not right now. So, I turn to Mathilde.
“Can I have something else to wear?”
Mathilde blinks at me, but quickly recovers. She nods and rises. “Of course, miss. Give me a moment.”
When she leaves the room, I sit on the edge of the bed still wrapped in my towel. I look at Maya, who stands straight as a bowstring, eyes focused ahead of her on nothing specific.
She wanted to help me back in the cell. She knew what was coming for me.
I break the heavy silence between us. “Were you forced into servitude, or was joining Caligos a choice?”
Her gaze flicks to mine for a second. At first she doesn’t answer, so I assume she will ignore my question. But then, she says, “It’s always a choice…between bad or worse.”
Right then, Mathilde returns with a bunch of clothes in her arms. Humming a tune under her breath, she sets them out for me to choose from. I pick simple linen pants and a matching shirt in a light brown color. Once I’m dressed, I sit in one of the armchairs by the fireplace.
“Would you like to go for a walk, miss?” Mathilde asks me.
I glance at the grey mist that lingers outside the window and shake my head.
With the cloudy sky, night falls quicker. Once it’s dark outside, Mathilde brings me dinner. I’m tempted to resist, but it would be childish of me. If I refuse, she will either feed me or get the two Caligos to intimidate me into eating.
I refuse her help and eat by myself sitting near the fireplace. Days spent locked in here are long. If Reizei’s goal is to drive me out of my mind, then he’ll soon succeed.
I’ve never spent so much time doing nothing in one place. It makes my skin itch.
“A light walk after dinner is good for digestion, miss,” Mathilde says once I finish eating.
I shake my head. To my surprise, Maya says, “Mathilde is right. Your muscles will atrophy if you don’t move them.”
Frowning, I turn in my seat to look at her. She keenly watches me, face closed off.
“Come on, miss. I’ll keep you company,” Mathilde says cheerfully as she sets her knitting aside and rises to her feet.
With a sigh, I get up from the armchair too and follow her out my room. The first step outside my golden cage invigorates me. Every fiber in my being screams for me to run.
Run.
Run.
Run.
But it’s futile. My mind knows better than my body. Maya would tackle me in a blink of an eye. And I’d be under lock and key. So I dig my nails into the soft flesh of my palms and focus on putting one foot after another.
Right as we descend the stairs to the first floor, the sound of shuffling feet behind me reaches my ears. Maya’s steps halt, but she doesn’t reach for her weapon. I look over my shoulder and freeze in place.
Two wide hazel eyes stare at me, wide with shock.
I know those eyes.
Phoenix.
I stare at her, dumbfounded. No way. Is my mind playing tricks on me? But next to her stands Jax, his face paler than usual as he stares at me.
The moment stretches between us.
I can’t believe this is happening. But before hope and excitement can bloom, dread floods me.
“You shouldn’t be here,” I whisper to Phoenix.
A second later, Phoenix and Jax spring into action.
Before Mathilde can open her mouth to scream for help, Jax is behind her, a blade pressed to her throat. Phoenix tackles Maya, who stands without drawing a weapon.
“No!” I reach for Maya as Phoenix presses a blade to her side, right under her ribs. “Don’t kill her.”
Phoenix’s gaze is determined. “We won’t if they let us go without causing a ruckus.”
I meet Maya’s gaze. She gives me a sharp nod.
“You…you knew they were here, didn’t you?” I ask her.
She presses her lips into a thin line.
She must have. That’s why she insisted I go for a walk. She tried to help me. Again.
“Sir Reizei has guards all around,” Mathilde says, her voice shaking. “He won’t let you take Miss Talbot with you.”
Phoenix startles at that, blinking rapidly. But she wastes no time with questions. She jerks her chin at Jax and he presses two fingers into Mathilde’s neck. A moment later, she slumps against him, unconscious.
Jax flashes me a crooked smile. “I guess today is our lucky day. This trick doesn’t always work.”
“Jax!” Phoenix barks.
He quickly sets Mathilde down against the wall. “Yes, of course. No time.”
Maya stands a few feet away from us, nervously glancing at the corridor on our left. “You have to be quick. He knows you’re here.”
Phoenix nods and approaches me. She casts a quick glance over me and swallows hard. “Can you…walk okay? Or do you need us to—”
Before she can even finish her sentence, Jax sweeps me off my feet and takes off at a sprint. “No time! They’re coming!”
He darts through the open door outside into the rain, Phoenix following us. We’re in the back gardens. It’s so dark, and the rain’s heavy enough to immediately drench my clothes. I hold on tight to Jax’s neck while he sprints towards the front gate.
The sound of clanging weapons behind us reaches my ears right as we get to the gate. It’s closed. Reizei’s voice follows. “General…I was wondering when you’d arrive.”