Chapter 58
CHAPTER FIFTY-EIGHT
PHOENIX
Istand in silence against the wall, my eyes following every swift movement of the mender as she works the stinky salve into Vera’s trembling palms. The deep red lines that cut across her wrists are brutal. So are the number of other scars that cover her forearms.
It’s a miracle she’s alive.
Miss Talbot. The maid’s words spin in my mind, again and again. I haven’t asked Vera about it. Not yet. She needs to recover first. And maybe…I just need a moment to breathe before I open that chest of nightmares.
“You came for me.” Vera’s voice is so quiet I almost miss it, lost in thought. “You actually brought a whole damn unit with you.”
I don’t meet her eyes. “I should have come sooner.”
A ball lodges in my throat, preventing me from speaking. I can’t look away from the jagged scars that were not there when we first met. The healthy, strong woman people parted for in the streets when she walked…came back to me as a haunted shell of scarred skin and bones.
The mender finishes the massage and sets Vera’s hands in her lap, palms up. Her fingers spasm lightly once in a while.
My stomach sinks further. Oh, gods.
“Phoenix.” My name on Vera’s lips is gentle. “Look at me.”
I manage to swallow the ball lodged in my throat and force myself to meet her gaze. She doesn’t look at me with anger or blame. It should ease some of the sickly thick guilt in my chest. And yet…
“You came. You didn’t give up hope that I was alive. You looked for me. And you came to save me. Thank you for not giving up on me.”
The backs of my eyes prickle and the very tip of my nose is ticklish.
I push the tears away, and clear my throat.
“I would never. You’re…family to me, Vera.
I will never give up on you. And I’m sorry it took me so long to come to you.
I’m sorry—I’m sorry for what Reizei has done to you. For that, he’ll pay. I swear.”
A sad smile blooms on Vera’s face as she looks down at her palms. “We can’t let him win this.”
“He won’t,” I say, my voice hard.
Vera purses her lips and nods. A moment later, she looks up again. “Where’s Jax? Is he…okay?”
I sigh and nod. “Yeah, the mender patched him up. He’s resting now.”
Vera nods. “Good.”
They’ve got a lot of things to work through. I’m tempted to try and advocate for Jax. But…they must do it on their own time.
Cursed Trio, Jax called us once. Looking at us now, barely holding on by a thread…it sounds about right.
“Let me take you to your room,” I say and offer her my arm.
She loops her hand over my arm, and we slowly leave the mender’s office. I had Noire prepare quarters for Vera close to mine at the castle, so I can ensure she doesn’t get kidnapped again. The castle may be the safest place right now.
At least I know who the traitors are now that House Dzuni and the Order of Ezkai have split up. Once we returned to Jaakii after the confrontation with Reizei, those who sided with Caligos were simply…gone.
When we reach Vera’s bedroom door, I open it and freeze. Her whole gang is here.
“Vera!” Hojo cries out.
Bart, Hel, and Hojo all jump to their feet when they notice Vera. She pauses for a breath before approaching them. Bart hugs her first, Hel and Hojo joining them a moment later. Quietly, I retreat and close the door, leaving them alone to reunite in peace.
I stand in the corridor for a moment, back against the wall, listening to the muffled sounds of reunion on the other side of the door.
Reizei got away. Gods know what he’s planning next.
Half my Ezkai turned.
Ezkai Cassandra is dead.
Jax almost died.
And yet Vera is in that room, alive, surrounded by people who love her.
I exhale through my nose.
I don’t know what to do with both of those things being true at once.
So I do what I always do.
I move. I head for the stairs that lead to the roof.
I climb the dark stone stairs, my steps bouncing off the stone walls, until I reach the door that leads outside. When I open it, fresh air hits my face. I inhale deeply as I make my way to the edge of the roof where I can see the city view better.
The rain has stopped. While the sky’s still cloudy, I can see the occasional blue here and there.
So, this is what the spirits of the gods were warning me about. That the civil war was about to break out. Were they telling me that even the lands here in Ekios don’t approve of my reign?
I stand there on the edge, watching the city. Wind whips at me ruthlessly. No dead bodies litter the ground below me, and the city is not on fire the way it was in my vision. Yet…something inside me tells me it’s still coming. The vision may as well manifest in real life.
A familiar screech pierces the sky. My head turns to the sound.
Farther ahead, soaring through the clouds, is the black-scaled dragon.
The one I thought belonged to me. My heart picks up its pace as I watch the regal creature make rounds over the forest right outside the city.
I frown. Why is she here? An invisible string pulls me forward, my curiosity urging me to find out.
I ride a tall white stallion through the streets of Jaakii, not caring that people are watching. It’s not everyday one gets to witness the Ezkai General soaring through the streets so casually, I suppose.
Noire will probably be unhappy with me. I’ll worry about it later. I need to reach the dragon before she flies away. I need to know why she’s here. If she knows whether my actions just doomed Ekios.
Once I cross the gate and am outside the walls of the city, my eyes sweep the sky, looking for her. She’s still circling above the forest. I press my heels into the sides of my stallion to urge it forward.
As I ride through the forest, it’s harder to see her through the thick foliage above my head. So, I start relying on the pull inside my chest. I hope it guides me toward her. I hope I’m not only imagining it.
Following that instinct, I leave the main path behind and take a narrow trail that leads me to the east. When I emerge into a clearing with a crystal clear river, I pull on the reins. The horse whines, scared. Because the most beautiful dragon rests in the middle of the clearing.
“Easy, buddy,” I whisper to the horse as I get off it. “Easy.”
The dragon growls then. That, of course, scares the stallion and before I can rein him in, he takes off the way we came. I watch the dust cloud rise in his wake, then turn to the dragon.
“Thanks for that,” I tell her. “Now I’ll have to walk all the way back to Jaakii.”
The dragon huffs a breath as if to say, “Not my problem.”
For a long moment, I just stand there, watching her. She watches me in return.
The weight of my choices and the consequences of them bring me to my knees. When I hit the hard ground, I open my arms.
“I’ve failed.” My voice cracks at the word. “You showed me what my choices would cost me. The people I love, dead because of me. And I thought I understood the warning…I thought I was doing the right thing.”
A hollow laugh escapes me.
“I chose saving the people who matter to me over chasing power. Over chasing you.”
My shoulders sag. “And it wasn’t enough. I still don’t know how to lead without becoming the thing the vision warned me about.”
At first, nothing happens. But then the dragon pads over to me until we’re face-to-face.
When she brings her snout to my chest, I brace for another horrible vision.
Instead, warmth floods my chest. Vera’s and Jax’s faces appear in my mind, followed by Kazh’s and Noire’s.
Inside my mind, they surround me, smiling. And it feels like…home.
A laugh bubbles out of me. The dragon pulls away enough so we can be face-to-face again. My hand trembles when I bring it slowly to her snout. She dips her head, as if urging me forward.
No way.
This can’t be happening.
The moment I rest my hand on her nose, it hits me like lightning. It’s just like it was with my bow that day it finally revealed its name to me. The connection between me and the dragon snaps in place, another tether inside my chest.
It’s sparkling, just like a lightning bolt. When I follow it, at the end waits a mind as vast as the ocean. Her mind.
The name comes to me, unbidden.
Naita, the Braveheart.
I’m in awe at what’s happening. Tears spring to my eyes just as another startled laugh escapes my lips.
I can’t read her mind—well, not in words. There are none, at least none I understand. But we don’t need words. Her mind is a visual landscape, full of colors, scents, images, and emotions.
“You chose me,” I whisper to her, smiling through tears. “I wasn’t imagining it.”
Naita nudges me gently with her snout. An image of me facing her during the Trial of Wisdom emerges at the front of our connection. I hold a bow, my eyes full of pleading. The warmth that fills me tickles the base of my spine.
Mine.
She knew it the moment she saw me.
I cup her head between my palms and chuckle. “Playing hard to get, huh?”
She only huffs.
I rest my forehead against her nose, exhaling a huge breath. Gods, it’s a blessing. I need to find Vera and Jax. And Noire. They need to know not all hope is lost.
I pat her neck and rise to my feet. “Come on, girl. Let’s go home.”
I glance at her scaled back. Huh. I’ve seen other Ezkai ride their dragons. They had special saddles, though. Can I ride her bareback?
“Well, I guess we’ll find out,” I murmur and circle her.
Naita remains still, pressed to the ground, while I try to figure out the logistics. There’s a space I can sit, right between her wings. Carefully, and not so gracefully, I climb on top and straddle her narrow yet powerful body, above her wings.
“Okay, you got this,” I mutter and press my thighs and engage my core—
Before I can brace, Naita launches.
My stomach lurches right as my heart drops. Wind whips at me, threatening to throw me off. A scream lodges in my throat as I fight for my dear life and wrap my arms around her neck.