Chapter 8 #2
He rubbed his hands over his face and looked once again like the shocked and displaced man I’d seen yesterday.
‘But I can’t see this as random, you know?
You are a descendant of the family and I am a historian who writes about early medieval history almost exclusively.
That can’t be accidental, can it?’ A deep breath and another moment of scrubbing at his face.
‘Can it?’ he asked again, almost plaintively.
‘And you think the other guys got caught inadvertently? That they’re nothing to do with this?
’ I blew out a whistle and a passing dog glanced up and started to tremble before whining and running off.
‘That makes Time, or whatever is behind this, seem a bit arbitrary, don’t you think?
A bit rubbish? You’d think any power capable of snatching people into the past might at least be a little bit selective, wouldn’t you? ’
Lachlan shrugged. ‘They’re all historians too,’ he said. ‘Just a different kind.’
‘Oh, come on.’ I’d raised my voice and a couple of horses tethered to a post a few metres away raised their heads and began to shift restlessly.
‘Hush now.’ Lachlan stopped rubbing and put a hand on my shoulder.
‘Hush? Lachlan, I could run naked through here shouting “I’m a Teletubby, get me out of here!” and, apart from some animal consternation, nobody would even look up!
We’re invisible, we’re inaudible, what the hell are we supposed to do to make anything happen?
Levitate a few vegetables and convert everyone to a firm belief in ghosts?
It’s hardly going to change anything, is it? ’
Lachlan had gone quiet and was looking at me with a half-smile.
‘What?’
‘Sorry.’ The smile broadened. ‘I’m imagining you running naked through here shouting about being a Teletubby. Sorry, most improper of me.’
I looked skywards. ‘I’m trapped in the past with a bunch of sexists!’
‘To be fair, you started it. And we’re hardly a bunch of sexists – Kaylinn is a woman and Mal is as gay as Christmas.
Davey’s life is – complicated, but he has caring responsibilities, so that only leaves me, and my department head is a woman and my wife outearned me by a factor of three to one.
’ Lachlan gave me another smile. ‘So I reckon I’m good.
I just had a moment of imagination there. ’
‘What do the women do here?’ He was right, damn him, and I had to distract myself. I looked ostentatiously at the thronged yard. ‘There aren’t many around.’
‘Camp followers, maybe? They’ll do the laundry, help with the animals, attend to the men’s… err… needs.’
‘We’re back to sex again, aren’t we?’
His smile couldn’t get any broader now. ‘You’re the one talking about nudity and all. I’m just standing here admiring the scenery.’
In a moment for which I was so grateful that I almost kissed him, Mal came bustling up. ‘Anything useful on your end? And that is not a euphemism.’
‘Not really.’ Lachlan cleared his throat and also seemed to be glad about Mal’s appearance. ‘The earl’s up there eating his dinner and washing his feet or whatever. Nothing of note. How about you?’
‘Kaylinn is having fun. One of the women is like a Wise Woman, she’s been doing something with herbs for someone with a cut hand and Kay is watching and muttering about witchcraft and Salem.
There didn’t seem to be anything particularly Pictish about it so I left them to it.
David’s foraging and we might get a decent meal for once.
’ He sat down on a low wall that formed an enclosure for three cows, who were munching away at something that looked horribly like the oatcakes we’d eaten earlier.
A goat that was in the paddock with them gave us a slit-eyed stare, a wisp of something stalky poking out of the corner of its mouth, like a half-smoked cigarette.
‘I think the goat can see us,’ I said, idly.
‘Hooray for the goat.’ Mal leaned back on his hands. The cows skittishly shuffled about and stopped eating but the goat stared on. ‘I’ve always thought there was something, you know, eldritch about goats. And cats. But there aren’t any cats here.’
The goat lowered its head and made a charge at the wall that sent Mal scrambling back down to stand next to me with a rather shaken expression.
‘Told you,’ I said smugly.
‘That is not natural.’ Mal looked over the sturdy wall at the goat, which was now pretending an interest in the stones of the paddock. ‘Nobody here can see or hear us, except a goat?’
‘Perhaps it’s a very perceptive goat.’ Lachlan leaned on the wall now, but the goat just rolled an eye at him. Mal’s anti-animal gift still seemed to be in operation.
‘It’s not like this at home. If there were cats here I’d be all right. There should be some cats. Why isn’t there at least one cat?’ Mal muttered.
‘Lots of dogs though,’ I observed. ‘Is that one still shut in the cellar or has he got out yet?’
Mal shrugged. ‘Dunno. Not been back. I’ve been tracking Kay and her new Wicca obsession.’
‘Maybe we should see if we can shoo it out, then. He must be hungry and scared down there.’
Mal looked at me archly. ‘I think we’re all hungry and scared.
There’s nothing special about the dog. What, you thought because of my stern and dominant exterior that I’m not terrified?
Pax, this whole thing is too weird. I’m telling myself that I’m just having a particularly realistic dream and I’m going to wake up in a minute to the smell of coffee and Tom Hardy bringing me breakfast on a tray, all right? ’
‘Mal…’ I began, without the slightest idea of what to say next.