Chapter 2
Ava
The waves rocked me back and forth on my board, as I stared into nothing.
My body was tired from surfing for nearly six hours, but I couldn't make myself get out of the water.
The chaos of the waves drowned out the chaos in my head.
Bentley Cove was known for its insane waves.
Most surfers stayed out of the water during high tide.
Me included, but not today. I took those deadly waves on, without an inch of fear.
I had nothing left to fear.
It’d been three months since Becket dropped me off in front of my and Rachel’s cottage. Three months of crying myself to sleep. Three months of screaming myself awake.
And three months of utter quiet. There was no sign of them. They had vanished.
I’d have thought myself crazy for thinking they ever existed, if not for the man that followed me around, day in and day out.
I haven’t seen the man, but Becket assured me of his presence.
Sent by the people I once considered my family.
Sent to be the eyes and ears of the devil that had stolen my life. And then my soul.
I hated that devil. I hated him with every fibre of my soulless being. I hated him for what he’d taken from me. And I hated him for what he’d left me with—the mess and the memories.
And I yearned for him. In the quiet of the night, I begged the gods for just one more minute with him. To feel his warm, hard body mould against mine.
To feel his warm blood pool over my hand when I bury my nails deep into his heart before ripping it out of his chest.
I leaned forward and dipped my head under water, screaming out my rage and agony until I had no air, and no feelings left in me.
For a split second, I wondered if it was even worth taking another breath, if it wouldn’t be easier to just stay like this, but I quickly shot back up.
I wouldn’t. I wouldn’t make it that easy for him to be rid of me. I had a score to settle. I had a life to ruin.
Rachel chattered on about how Mrs. Vandermeere refused to read the book she picked for book club, something I hadn’t bothered to attend since coming back. According to the prudish old woman, Dracula should be a banned book.
Rachel handed me my lunch before unwrapping her own. It was our new daily ritual, meeting up at the park for lunch.
I had read all the book club picks with Rachel, welcoming any opportunity to escape my own life, but I couldn’t stand to be around other people more than I had to.
Most days, I didn’t even bother to go to my shop, leaving the noisy customers to Macey, while I attended the gardens, trying to restore them back to their former glory.
But tried as I might, they wouldn’t flourish for me.
Did they sense my unwillingness? Or was I tainting them with my sickness?
Infecting them with the bitterness festering in my chest?
Even Frank stopped coming by. Since he retired, he’d been adamant in helping me with the gardens when I returned. But his visits became fewer and fewer as I withdrew more and more into my darkness. He finally got the picture and never came back.
Not that I cared. I only did all this to keep up a semblance of normalcy to fool the devil. And keep my parents from fussing too much.
I hadn’t noticed that Rachel had gone quiet. She was staring at me. And I knew that look. “Rachel, don’t,” I groaned, but her look of determination didn’t falter.
“No. I can’t keep quiet anymore. I’ve been watching you wither away into an old hag.
” She took my hands as I scoffed at the very accurate insult.
Leave it to Rachel to give it to me straight.
“I’ve given you time, I’ve stayed quiet, I’ve held my tongue, but you’re not getting better, babe.
You’re getting worse. Your sadness is turning into bitterness and hatred.
And I cannot in good conscience watch this change you.
So speak to me, A. What’s going on in that beautiful heart of yours?
Let me in, so I can carry this with you.
Witches who cry together, survive together, remember? ”
I hung my head and watched the teardrops darken my jeans.
“I don’t know if I can survive this, Rach.
I loved him. So much. And even after he ripped me apart, I still do.
And that’s the worst fucking part. He left me.
He loved me so fiercely, and then he just left me.
Like it was nothing, and then never looked back.
How does that make sense, Rach? Because I’m suffocating without him,” I admitted.
“If he truly loved me as much as I love him, it would’ve been impossible for him to leave me. ”
I always thought your heart was a little black, but I was wrong. Now I know better, Gray. You don’t have one.
Rachel wound her arm around me, pulling me closer. She sighed as she wiped at my cheeks, then at her own. “I don’t know, babe. Not many people can fool you. You would’ve known if something was off.”
“But, I did. I knew exactly where it was gonna end. I’d felt it in my bones from the first time he kissed me. And I still couldn’t stop. I ignored the signs because how could anything so perfect end up so broken?” A bitter laugh escaped me. “I guess I only have myself to blame.”
“Nope. No, we’re definitely still blaming the conman.”
“Gods, I hate him,” I spat, leaning back into the park bench to look at the clouds gathering above. “I fucking hate him.”
Rachel snickered. “Well, that’s a first for you.”
“It’s the only thing that’s keeping me going. He might’ve killed me, but I won’t rest until the bastard is buried right beside me. He doesn’t get to live happily ever after.”
Rachel sat up straighter, nodding. “Okay. Turning into vengeful, old hags it is. But our wardrobe is lacking, honestly. We need to go shopping. We don’t own nearly enough black.
And we must stop by the cemetery. We’ll need some graveyard dirt if we’re gonna put a proper curse on him.
My great aunt Linda won’t mind if we use some of hers. She hated men.”
I laughed through the still flowing tears.
I should have trusted Rachel with my hurt.
I just didn’t want my sickness to rub off on her.
Infect her like it infected my gardens, until her heart was as black and shrivelled as mine.
But maybe I had it wrong. Maybe she would help heal me instead. “Okay, but no black. I hate black.”
“Fine. We’ll look much worse in a muddy-brown anyway.”
“Your secret phone is ringing,” Rachel chirped from the stove. She’d been cooking some variation of pasta for three months straight, knowing it’s my comfort food. And I was ashamed to say that I wasn’t sick of it yet.
I darted past the kitchen into my bedroom, answering just in time. “Agent Becket,” I responded breathlessly. “You have good news. I can feel it.”
He laughed. “I think I do. A friend of mine that works at an airport in Mexico thinks he spotted our perps. They arrived yesterday morning in a private jet.”
My heart hammered in my chest. “You seem to have a lot of friends in weird places, Agent Becket. So, what now?”
He was quiet for a while. “There must be something there that got them out of hiding. Something worth the risk. Or maybe our plan worked, and they’ve become complacent. Grayson had never been one to sit still for too long.”
It was the first time someone had spoken his name in a while, and I didn’t want to admit to myself what it did to my insides. “Are we going to Mexico or what?” I asked impatiently. I had a visceral need to find Grayson and make him pay. And this was our first break in months.
“Hold your horses. Even if it is them, and that’s a big if, it’ll be like looking for three needles in a Mexico-sized haystack. We are not blowing your cover for that many ifs.”
“You promised, Owen… I mean, Agent Becket. You said I could be there when you take them down. And it’s them. I can feel it in my gut. We just need to figure out what caught Grayson’s interest, and we’ll find them.”
Becket was quiet for a long time. I held my breath, waiting for him to decide.
“Fine,” he exhaled on a huff. “I don’t know why I’m following your gut, but I’ll come get you.”
I nodded, even though he couldn’t see me, feeling a glimmer of hope for the first time in months.
“But we do this quietly. Just you and me. I’m calling in sick, and you need to get Rachel to create some sort of alibi as to why you’re not coming out of the house for the next few days.
You’ll need to sneak out tonight. I’ll wait for you in our usual spot at the park. One a.m. sharp. Don’t be late.”
I slinked in the shadows from house to house, just like I’d done with Grayson once.
Now it was to escape him. Or whoever he had following me.
Rachel was excited to take out her old Ava-wig, she had bought in college to dress up like me for Halloween.
It was her brilliant idea to wander around the house with it while I was gone.
I haven’t smiled so broadly in a long time, watching her practice to be me.