Chapter 8
Ava
“Do you think he still cares about me? Or am I crazy, Rach? Gods, don’t answer that. I know I’m crazy.”
Rachel and I sat on our surfboards, watching the sun set over Bentley Cove.
The waves had quieted down, lazily rocking us back and forth.
She tucked a strand of blonde hair behind her ear.
She was the definition of a beach babe. She always wore light colours, making her perfect bronzy skin and blue eyes pop.
Neither of us had our own wardrobe at this point, as our styles kind of overlapped. She, the laid-back beach bum, and I the laid-back flower child. We borrowed each other’s clothes and jewellery so often; it was difficult to say who they belonged to first.
After college, when we decided to move back home, it had never occurred to us to not live together.
We both started working random desk jobs, me to start saving up for my shop, and her to keep her going until her career as a songwriter took off.
We both agreed to travel the world together once she made it big.
But never did either of us picture living our lives without each other. Not until I was taken.
Rachel clasped her hand around mine, letting them hang in the water between us. “Does it matter? Whatever this thing was between you two, it almost killed you, babe. Please tell me you’re not thinking of letting him do that to you again?”
Gods, she was right. What the hell was wrong with me? “Since when are you the voice of reason, hmm?” Rachel had always been the one to fall headfirst into relationships, knowing full well that it would end in a mess.
She huffed a laugh at the irony. It had always been me who had to talk her off the ledge. “I can’t lose you again, bestie. Just promise me you won’t run off again. Not without me.” She let go of my hand and held out her pinkie. “You have to pinkie swear. Hoes before psychos.”
I snickered and twisted my pinkie with hers. “Hoes before psychos.”
Rachel and I danced around the bonfire, my head spinning pleasantly. It had been a while since I’d been at a beach party.
I had felt betrayed by Owen for making me come home for a week after discovering Digger, but I was glad he did.
I had needed my friend, and my family. And dancing under the full moon with Rach, it felt like I could breathe again.
I felt almost free from the demons that haunted me as I swayed my hips to the music, letting my head fall back as the moment pieced together a small part of my soul.
Rachel giggled, twirling around me, crashing into me, as dizziness overtook her.
We laughed drunkenly, stumbling a few times trying to keep each other upright.
Gods, it felt good to laugh. Really laugh, until my stomach hurt.
Grayson had stolen that from me, and it felt good finally having it back, if only for a while.
“He’s still staring at you,” Rachel giggled in my ear, before taking another sip from the bottle in her hand.
I followed her gaze to the man sitting on the driftwood a few feet from us. His friends were laughing about something, but he didn’t seem to notice as I locked eyes with him. He held my stare with a small smile, inviting me to come closer with his eyes.
He was handsome, tall and rugged, and not from around here. He and his friends were probably just passing through town, looking for a good time. And there was always a good time to be had in Bentley Cove if you knew where to look.
“Sometimes the best way to get rid of a hangover is to drown it out with more booze,” Rachel said pointedly, holding out the tequila bottle to me.
I rolled my eyes at her but took the bottle anyway. Maybe she was right. Maybe this had been the solution all along. Maybe I could erase the feel of his hands on my body with another man’s touch.
It was worth a shot. Tonight, I was desperate to escape his shadow. I wanted my old self back, and I’ll be damned if I didn’t try every possible way to do it.
I watched as the man came sauntering over with a friend.
Rachel stepped in front of me, turning her back to them.
She placed her hand on my hip, and I let her sway my body with hers to the music.
“Just… give it a chance, A. Let the little whore in you come out to play. I’ve watched you starve that girl forever. ”
I laughed at Rachel’s ridiculous dramatics, but I had no time to answer because the man’s hands lightly came to rest on my hips as he started moving with me to the music. Rachel gave me one last look that said, “Just fuck the guy, already!” before turning towards the guy’s friend behind her.
I took a deep breath, letting the resolve settle in my gut. Tonight was the night I was going to get rid of Grayson.
“What’s your name, pretty stranger?” the man whispered in my ear, taking the opportunity to lightly press himself against me.
“Hmm,” I hummed, swaying against his firm body. “No. No, names. I like being called pretty stranger.”
He laughed, a low, rich sound. “Then what will you call me, pretty stranger?”
I turned, snaking my hands around his neck, taking him in. “With eyes like that, how about angel?” An angel to save me from the devil.
He tucked me against his body, his hazel eyes sparkling warmly. Grayson’s eyes never held any warmth. It was like falling into the cold depths of the ocean.
But this man? He had a soul. He was safe.
We danced together, and I held his gaze, let his eyes warm the coldness in me. Or maybe it was the alcohol warming me.
After some time, I wandered down the beach with the angel, letting the moon pull me to her. “What do you see when you look at the moon?” I asked the angel. He smiled brightly, like my question intrigued him. To Grayson, the moon was nothing more than a rock, hurtling through space.
“Beauty. And mystery. Like you, pretty stranger.” His dark, curly hair shined in the moonlight, like she was giving him her blessing.
Yes, he might just be the one to pull me from the iron grip of the shadows. Even if it’s for just a few hours. Tonight’s the night, Gray. Tonight, you will be purged from my mind and my body. Even if it doesn’t last. At least I could breathe for a while.
The angel stopped and turned to me. He let a finger trail down my cheek, down my neck and over my shoulder in wonder. “You really are pretty. How come no one snatched you up yet?”
I swallowed. The man who had snatched me had liked using the word exquisite when referring to how I looked.
I shook the thought off and smiled up at the angel. “Because I’m fucked up. A witch with no soul.” I pulled my fingers through his curls. “Will you help me get my soul back from the devil, angel?”
“How do I do that?” His eyes were fixed to my lips.
I pushed up onto my toes, closer to his mouth. “A ritual. Under the full moon,” I whispered on a smile. It was fitting.
“Will I be sacrificed?”
I chuckled softly. “No. I will be the one sacrificing my body to an angel.”
“I like the sound of that,” he rasped, pulling me tightly against him, knowing where this was leading. He pulled his fingers through my hair, swallowing hard. “Can I kiss you now, pretty stranger?”
“Only if you make it good enough to exorcize the demons in my head.”
He crashed his lips onto mine, his arms pulling me even tighter.
Yes, maybe this would work. Maybe his touch could banish the devil.
I kissed him back, feverishly, desperately. Like he was my salvation.
I only broke the kiss long enough to pull him behind some rocks.
I pushed him against it, struggling to get his jeans off while he moaned in pleasure against my lips.
He pulled the straps of my dress down my arms, then lowered his mouth to my breasts, lifting me off my feet to get a better angle.
He turned and pressed me against the rock, his tongue swirling around my nipple as his hands pushed my dress up, out of the way.
I felt his erection then and desperately bucked against him.
With a groan into my neck, he pushed himself inside me.
He moved slow, kissing my neck as he slid back into me. He was being gentle, too gentle. This was not what I wanted.
“No. Harder. Fuck me harder,” I panted, grinding my hips into him.
“Hell, sweetheart. You’re a dream come true,” he moaned, before letting loose, slamming hard and fast into me.
He pressed his face into my neck, grunting in effort and pleasure as he fucked me.
He grabbed hold of my hip to keep me in place.
And I stopped breathing. My heart stopped beating.
The angel’s thumb pressed into the scars on my hip.
The devil’s mark.
“Open your eyes, Ava. And don’t you take them off me.”
I clamped my eyes shut even tighter, rebelling against the memory and his order.
“When you’re ready, count to three.”
The knife sliced through my skin, and the dark hunger in Grayson’s eyes made my stomach flip. He enjoyed the act of marking me. Maybe a little too much. Maybe I should be scared.
“Again.”
His knife sliced through me a second time. He sucked my blood from his thumb, a gesture I never knew could be so erotic. I noticed how my blood had stained his bottom lip red as he mouthed, “Mine.”
“Fuck, I’m already there,” the stranger moaned in my ear, pulling me from the memory.
I pulled him closer with trembling arms as numbness washed over me. I felt my body jostle as he continued to thrust into me, but I couldn’t feel him anymore. I couldn’t feel anything.
I kept my eyes on the moon. It was silly of me to think a mere angel could rid me of the devil himself.
I wandered the rest of the night on the beach, alone, until Rachel found me.
“It didn’t work, hmm?” She flopped down onto the sand beside me.
I didn’t answer. We listened to the crashing waves in silence for a while.
“Did I ever tell you that I scarred his face?”
“You what?”
I snickered. “Yeah, I had tried to run away but he caught me, so I fought like hell. I managed to scratch two deep gashes over his eye.”
Rachel started laughing. “My God, Ava. That’s fucking traumatic.”
I started laughing too. “You haven’t heard the best part yet, Rach. I made him give me a matching scar. Look,” I pulled my dress up for her to see.
She stared at it for a few seconds, then burst out laughing, even harder than before. We collapsed into each other in a fit of giggles, holding onto each other for dear life. “Fuck, A. You’re truly the craziest woman I’ve ever met,” she managed to get out between our uncontrollable laughter.
“If you stopped lying to yourself, you’ll find you’re just as fucked in the head as me.”
My gasps for air between the bouts of laughter turned into sobs. I clutched at my chest, doubling over.
“Shh, I got you,” Rachel cooed as she held me, rocking me, as I let the pain of his absence tear me apart.
After I had quieted down, Rachel stroked my hair while I laid with my head in her lap. “You’re only helping the FBI because it’s the only way to get closer to him,” Rachel said softly.
I nodded. “I see that now.” And it was pathetic, chasing after him like that. “Do you think there is a world where he misses me as much as I miss him?” I asked brokenly. Only now did I allow myself these thoughts. And only Rachel would ever hear how much I still longed for him.
“Well, I don’t know about him, but I could do absolutely nothing but miss you when he took you from me.”
I turned to look at her. Really look at her. She probably hated the man but had to listen to me pine after him. “I’m sorry for not coming back to you, Rach. We made a pact. And I broke it. I’m sorry.” I was the worst friend imaginable.
Rachel smiled warmly at me. “Don’t be. You were in love, babe.” She huffed a sad laugh. “And from the stories you’ve told me, it was quite something.”
I turned away again, looking out over the dark ocean, but seeing nothing of it. Only flashes of green pine trees, rainbows, and the warm glow of a campfire against a tent. “It was.”