Chapter 15
Ava
“You’re such a pathetic little thing, aren’t you?
” Grayson’s mouth trailed down my neck and over my naked shoulder, leaving goosebumps in his wake.
“Look at you, begging for me when I don’t even want you,” he murmured as his arms circled around me, pulling me tightly against him.
The heat from his skin leeched into mine, pooling in my belly.
“I never loved you,” Grayson continued, before capturing my lips in a slow, burning kiss, his tongue worshipping mine.
“You will never be enough for me,” he whispered against my mouth while his fingers slowly raked through my hair, then trailed gently down my spine.
“You only ever held me back, darling. You’re too pathetically boring to belong in my world.
” He chuckled coldly while he pressed his forehead to mine, nuzzling his nose against mine.
Grayson caressed my cheek, his smile and eyes were soft as he stared at me, reaching down to my soul.
“Now let me go. You’re fucking embarrassing, baby. ”
I shot up with a gasp. My body tingling where he’d touched me.
What the hell kind of dream was that?
My body convulsed for air, but there was none to find.
Breathe, Ava.
“Breathe, baby.” A shiver rippled through me at the intimate memory. At how gently he swiped the hair from my face while harshly pinning…
My throat constricted as the panic attack hit full force.
I bundled the sheets into my fists and tried to keep my gasps as quiet as possible.
Owen was just down the hall. I concentrated on the burn in my eyes from the sweat that had dripped into them, letting it guide me back into my body, back to reality.
Gods, I was a mess. Because of him. Because of all of them.
Fuck you, Gemma! Fuck you for choosing him over me. Again. And fuck you, Hunter. You said you had my back. But you only ever had his. And fuck you to hell, Grayson. Fuck you for turning me into this… this…
“Pathetic little thing,” his words from my nightmare echoed in answer.
I screamed into a pillow. Gods! I wished I could get him out of my head!
I sprang out of bed. Keeping busy was my only solace from the devil trying to possess me.
I hated the dreams where he touched me. I hated how real it felt. I hated how my mind could remember the exact feel of his skin and his hands. But most of all, I hated the memories it would trigger.
I rummaged through the bag I hadn’t unpacked yet for clean clothes. I needed a shower. A cold one. Was Owen up yet? I didn’t want to…
“Morning,” he grumbled as I opened the bedroom door. He was wiping at his eye as he made his way down the hallway, his hair sticking up in every direction.
Great. Exactly what I wanted to avoid.
His brow furrowed as he took in my ragged appearance. “Another nightmare?”
I huffed a laugh. It was one of many he’d witnessed since I moved into his apartment two weeks ago.
I had been living in a hotel for two months after returning from Florence, until I couldn’t stomach it anymore.
Owen was gracious enough to offer me his guestroom.
“You know me. Can’t function without my daily dose of nightmare adrenaline.
” It was the lamest attempt at laughing something off, and if Owen didn’t roll his eyes soon, I might have to.
Instead, he wiped at the little hairs sticking to my cheek with sweat, and I inwardly cringed. It was embarrassing enough having him see me in this state, now his fingers were covered in my nightmare sweat. Great.
“Ava, don’t you think you should speak to someone about these nightmares? It doesn’t have to be me. How about I schedule an appointment with Doctor Aspen?”
I was about to protest, but Owen took hold of my hand and lightly squeezed it, making me realise it was shaking. My whole body was shaking.
“Fine. Only if you make me breakfast,” I joked weakly. I wanted to pretend it wasn’t happening. That my nights weren’t filled with dreams and memories and nightmares of him. Of them. But maybe that was the reason I was so haunted. Maybe they would start to go away if I acknowledged them.
Or maybe it was just the way my life was going to be. Did I not predict this haunting all those months ago at the side of the road?
I tried to smooth my hair back. I’d predicted a lot of things, then just ignored them.
Owen’s shoulders relaxed, and he gave me an easy smile. A light had returned to his eyes. “It’ll have to be a drive thru. We’re late.”
The boardroom was starting to turn suffocating again.
It was too small for all the big personalities in the room.
But I was the only one who seemed to notice it.
Just like I was the only one who noticed the small rotation of Marshall’s body when Emerie moved to the other side of the room.
And how she positioned her chair at a slight angle towards Marshall.
They were definitely fucking. But it had turned into more than that. They were in love.
But fuck love.
I slinked deeper into my chair at the little desk in the corner that was supposed to be mine.
It was still empty, unlike the others, who had stationery, laptops, files and papers, cluttering their desks.
Owen, Syntax and Liam sat at the boardroom table that was pushed into the opposite corner of the room to make space for the desks.
They were going over some footage of the museum in Florence.
Three days after we left the country, Venus of Urbino had mysteriously disappeared during the night. Along with one of the students’ artworks from the installation. Ironically. the student felt pretty chuffed about it—that her art was stolen alongside a Titian.
We all knew this one was important somehow. As always, no traces of them were left behind, but somehow the job was sloppy. There were signs of a hasty retreat, and two dead guards.
The Apparitions had acted out of their usual M.O.
They didn’t wait a few months like usual.
And they killed two people during the heist. Two guards.
They never did that. “Innocent people don’t have to lose their lives because I like pretty things.
Or so Hunt’s father always preaches.” Grayson had rolled his eyes.
“Besides, no one dies because no one even knows we’re there.
Our jobs are always fucking spotless,” he’d said smugly. “And bodies? That’s messy.”
Emerie thought that the guards surprised them. That things went to shit because they didn’t take enough time to plan the heist properly. That we had spooked them.
But I knew Grayson. He didn’t get spooked.
He doesn’t get surprised. And he sure as hell wouldn’t leave a trail of bodies during a heist. And Gemma would never let someone get hurt like that.
Something was up. If we didn’t know that they were after the painting, I would have never suspected it was them. The whole thing felt off.
That painting was important somehow. The death of those guards too. We just couldn’t see it yet. The puzzle pieces were still missing. And I was hell-bent on finding them.
And by the scowls on everyone’s faces, the pieces were clearly not in this room.
Owen was the only one who noticed as I slipped out the door. They were all too busy getting lost in that same black hole that had ripped me apart, unwittingly diving headfirst into it, not knowing how it would eat them alive.
What the hell was I doing here, anyway? How did my life take this godsawful turn? And why? Why was I stuck in this hell?
I stood outside the door, taking a few steadying breaths. I opened my eyes to see a black cat with piercing yellow eyes studying me from across the hall—her head cocked to the side. Her tail whipped in amusement, and I swear she was grinning at me.
When was the last time I had even thought of the gods?
She picked up a piece of crumbled paper in her mouth, padded over to me and dropped it in front of my feet. She rubbed against my legs, causing an otherworldly shiver to travel up my spine, leaving my fingers tingling.
I picked up the ball of paper and straightened it out between my palms. Someone had ripped a page from a magazine and made a little ball for the cat to play with. And she clearly thought I could use it.
A quote, written in big, bold letters across the page, caught my eye. “I am not the same, having seen the moon shine on the other side of the world.”
I stared at the page and then at the cat, snorting.
Yeah, that’s for sure.
But why? Why let me have a taste of a world and a love that was so magical, just for it to rip me apart?
What lesson was there in all this? To be careful who I gave my heart to next time?
Gods! I didn’t have an ounce of my heart left to give!
To not trust so blindly? To not give my soul to anyone except the gods?
Was it all a test of some kind? Had Grayson been a god himself?
One who had decided to descend from the heavens to toy with me?
Was all this hurt my punishment for daring to lay my mortal hands on him?
The little black cat stretched up my legs, her nails digging into my jeans as she purred loudly, trying to get my attention.
I reached down to scratch her chin. “He’s no god.
He’s the devil,” I cooed to her. And I’d made the mistake of making him my world.
“But that’s okay. I never belonged in that world anyway. ”
The mysterious little cat pushed off my legs and started padding down the busy hallway as if she owned the place. She stopped once and looked towards me, meowing loudly for me to follow her.
With a huff of indignation, I did as told, weaving through the busy corridor, not taking my eyes off the black tail confidently flicking from side to side. Who sent her anyway?
We made it into the bullpen, as Owen had called it. A large open plan area with cubicles and filing cabinets, printers and whiteboards everywhere. Agents were bustling about, a low hum of energy filling the air.