Chapter 31 #2
I had no idea what to say or what to feel as the pain contorted his face. Was this man playing games with me? I couldn’t tell. I had no idea what was real and what was an act. “If you love her as much as you say, then let her go, Mister Varon.”
“Why? Give me a reason and I’ll do it.”
I blinked. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think he wanted me to talk him out of it, to talk sense into him.
I tried to rally my thoughts into coherence.
I expected to be killed, not this. “When Ava was first placed under my care, she was a shell of a person. She was so consumed by losing you she did not speak. She did not move. Hell, she did not even blink. We had to feed her through a tube for two weeks because she did not eat. Even when we forced her, it would come right back out.”
Varon flinched, and I swore there were tears glistening in his eyes. Was this real?
“Do you understand the amount of grief a person has to feel for their bodies to react in such a manner?”
He was quiet, staring at the moon outside the window.
“She finally moved on. She had picked up her broken pieces and found her will to live again. And it is true—there is still a part of her that loves you, but she does not deserve the pain you’ve caused her.
And she sure doesn’t deserve for you to bulldoze over her life again.
So let her go, Mister Varon. If you truly love her, let her be. ”
He brought a shaking hand to his mouth, contemplating my words.
“You’re right.” He stared off at the moon for a few minutes longer before shifting his gaze to me.
“It killed me too, you know.” He closed his eyes, his jaw going tense.
“In those first few months I would hallucinate her in the room with me. I have Hyperthymesia. And the memories of her were coming to life, so vivid, so clear. I knew what was happening, but I would let it. I would lock myself in a room for days, not eating, not sleeping, so I could be with her. Where people couldn’t remind me I was talking to air.
When she got out… I had people filming her every move so I could see her.
See what her life was like. Keep an eye on how she was doing.
If she was sleeping, laughing, talking to the damn trees.
” He gave a depressing chuckle and stood from the chair.
“That’s how I survived it.” His eyes were on me as he towered over me, but they were vacant, as if he was somewhere else.
“I’m glad she had you, Doctor. Don’t tell her about my visit.
But if you must, tell her…” He looked at the floor, his jaw clenching hard as he worked to keep his emotions in check.
“Tell her—For her, I would fall over toys in the driveway and paint the fences white.”
He took a few steps towards the door, then stopped. “No. Don’t tell her that. I shouldn’t leave her messages anymore. Sorry, doc.”
I sat stunned as he turned away. “Why?” I heard myself ask as he reached the front door. “Why did you leave her then?”
What was I doing? I should have just let him walk out and call the police.
He paused and looked back at me. “Did she tell you about Anderson?”
I nodded, not sure what else to do.
“I was sitting outside his house, sick with worry, while she was in there, seducing that twisted son of a bitch. Because of me. I knew what he was capable of. I knew how depraved the man was, but I could do nothing to stop Ava from going into his house. She would not listen to reason. She could not be dissuaded. And then I got the call. The head of the Bratva had put a bounty on everyone I loved. They were to be handed over alive, so he could inflict on them the type of pain that turns a person mad. After that, the choice was simple, really. Her safety at all costs. So I did unspeakable things. I did what I had to do to remove her from my fucked-up life. Before it was too late for her.”
“That’s why you killed Rurik at the auction?”
Varon gave a slight nod.
“Why was he going after your loved ones? What did you do to him?”
“I stole from him. I humiliated him in front of the world’s underground criminals. It was the heist that got me crowned. He tried to kill me multiple times before switching tactics. Going after my family. Then he found Ava.”
I swallowed. “Then the men who tried to kill her in the park, it was not Volkov who sent them, was it?”
“It was Rurik. He wouldn’t have stopped coming for her. The auction was to lure him out of his hiding place with a piece he could not resist. Ava is safe now. You can tell her that.”
“I don’t understand. The Bratva won’t be okay with you killing their leader. You and Ava must be in more danger,” I questioned, worry tightening my chest.
“There are some disgruntled employees, but I made a deal with Volkov. I helped him rise to power. As long as he’s on the Bratva throne, my loved ones are safe.
I intend to keep him there and he knows how easily I can replace him.
” A slight smile appeared on Grayson’s lips.
“And they’re all a little scared of my Ved’ma anyway. Something about a curse.”
My shoulders sagged in relief. “So she’s safe?”
“Yes. And I was starting to forget why I’d let her go. Thanks for talking sense into me.” He opened the door.
“Grayson!” I leaped from my chair, taking a few steps towards him. “I made a terrible mistake.”
He stopped, not turning to look at me.
My heart hammered in my throat. “I had convinced her that you never loved her,” I murmured.
He gave a broken laugh. “Not to worry, doc. I did the exact same thing. It’s for the best. Just… just take care of my baby, will you?”
“But you do love her. You did all of it to protect her, how misguided your action might have been. She deserves to know the truth.”
He turned slowly. “No. It might be quiet now, but in my world, there will always be danger. I don’t want that for her.
She deserves to live a life as sweet and perfect as she is.
With Becket,” he added with a cringe. “So you’re going to keep your mouth shut about all this and let her continue to hate me.
It’s for the best,” he repeated absentmindedly.
“But I was wrong.”
He sighed. “It doesn’t matter now. She’s alive. She’s happy. And she’s already moving on.” His head hung low. “I don’t think there’s any turning back after tonight. Becket has her now,” he murmured, with a pained expression. “I will let them be.”
He walked out the door and sauntered over the lawn, heading for the shadows of the trees at the edge of my property.
“You’re making a mistake, Grayson!” I yelled from the porch. “She loves you!” Where the hell did that come from? Why did I tell him that? Why did I feel the urge to call Ava and tell her all about this interaction? I don’t meddle.
Grayson pulled a hand through his hair before balling his fingers into fists.
“She will never stop hurting,” I called out to him.
He whirled. “Why are you saying this to me? Would you like me to rip my fucking heart out so I can gift it to her? If it’ll help her, I’ll do it. Just tell me what to do, and I’ll do it. I’ll do whatever it takes.”
My heart broke at the sight of him, at the desperation in his voice. I’ve seen this same despair before. In Ava.
God, I had been so wrong! “You keep taking her decisions away. You’re making choices for her you have no business making.”
“What are you saying?”
God, what was I saying? “Let her choose. Let her decide for herself the type of life she wants. And who she wants to spend it with.”
“But—”
“No, buts, Grayson. I will not speak to Ava of this, but you need to give her choices back then respect her decisions.”
He stared at me, a little taken aback. Has anyone ever dared to speak so sternly at him?
My knees went a little wobbly. But Ava had loved this man so fiercely, before I had convinced her not to.
But I could see it now. It wasn’t ever one-sided like I had thought.
It wasn’t manipulation. It was actual love.
And by the looks of Grayson, it was deep and insurmountable.
The kind of love most people would kill for.
The kind of love that had Grayson sacrificing his own happiness for Ava’s.
And as simple as it seemed, being in my line of work, I knew just how rare that actually was.
My chest squeezed. I had to fix this. “Tell her everything! She deserves her agency back!” I yelled after him, not sure if he heard me. He had already disappeared into the shadows of the trees.