Chapter 40
Ava
For once, Grayson slept longer than his usual three to four hours. His breathing was even and rhythmic, and together with his heartbeat, it was the lullaby that had lulled me to sleep on countless nights.
But not tonight. Tonight, I was the one lying awake with a brain that just couldn’t shut off. My world felt like it was spinning wildly and I struggled to get a grasp of my emotions.
My eyes were locked on the plate of pancakes, garnished with pomegranate seeds and a pomegranate syrup, only half eaten, before Grayson decided I was tastier.
I ripped my eyes away from the plate, sighing silently, then slowly slipped out of Grayson’s arms. The stone walls were suffocating me and I needed fresh air. I needed to feel the wind on my face and the grass beneath my feet.
I pulled my fluffy nightgown over my naked body and managed to open the bedroom door without a creak.
I made my way to the end of the dark hallway, greeting the almost translucent old man sitting in the shadows of the study with a nod as I passed him.
I carefully took the round, uneven stairs down to the ground floor, then slipped out a side door that led to the cliffs that I could see from our bedroom window.
Another bewitching view that Grayson had picked out when he chose this side of the castle for us.
There was a lone tree near the edge of the cliff, bent and bowed by years of harsh winds, but it stood strong and proud, not yet broken and still growing stronger each day.
I made my way to it, enjoying the frosty grass beneath my feet and the chilly winds nipping at my face. I smiled as I kept walking, knowing that I should be chilled to the bone, but I wasn’t. It only felt good.
The moon caressed my skin in greeting, inviting me further out onto the cliffs. As I reached the tree, I trailed my fingers along one of its low-hanging branches, checking if he was okay with having company.
I almost felt the tree shiver from the unexpected touch and chuckled under my breath. “You don’t get much company, do you?” The breeze carried my words away to the ocean glistening below. “May I sit with you?”
I got no objection, only curiosity. So I sat down next to it, watching the inky sea writhe in the distance. She was beautifully petrifying, like my Grayson. Enchanting and alluring, though her stormy depths could rip you apart if she chose to do so.
I took in a deep breath, letting the crisp air fill my lungs and clear my head. “Have you seen any mermaids?” I asked the tree. “I can feel they’re out there, I just can’t prove it,” I laughed.
The tree stayed quiet, not trusting me with his secrets.
“That’s okay. I’m a stranger. You don’t have to tell me anything.
” I patted his trunk. “You know, I have a crow friend who would absolutely adore the shape of you. I miss him. And the forest.” I exhaled all the air from my lungs, feeling that ache return to my throat. “I have a lot of friends that I miss.”
Owen’s grinning face as he sat next to me on the docks of Dianna’s Inn plagued me. I had no business being so happy when he was falling apart. “I have done them terribly wrong and I can’t fix it. I didn’t mean to hurt them. It just…”
It was all messed up. I scooted closer to the tree, resting my head against it as the heaviness in my limbs returned.
I would never forgive myself. I would carry this betrayal with me, feeling it with every step I took.
I had done a lot of bad things since meeting Grayson.
I had lied, stolen, cheated, wounded and helped kill so many men, but what I did to Owen was somehow the worst of it.
“That is life, young one. Even the purest creatures can’t live a life devoid of causing wreckage. We may try our best, but somewhere on our fated path, we will be the beast in someone else’s story.”
I brought my knees up, hugging them to me, trying to keep the pain at bay. “You’re right,” I answered the tree.
I loved Owen. He was my safety net, that steady mountain I could rest my head against. He kept me alive, nurtured me when I saw no reason to go on living. He gave me a purpose, a way out of my hell. And a safe place to rest my weary heart. I owed him my life for it.
And for a moment, I thought I could give it to him. But, “He is not my fate,” I whispered brokenly. The crash of the water against the shore seemed to pick up its intensity, as the debilitating emotions crashed over me.
“The winds may decide where our seeds fall, but we make our own fate. The yearning of our soul roots us in our true destiny.”
I closed my eyes, feeling the wind flurry through my hair.
And that was the thing, wasn’t it? Safe had never been what I truly wanted.
It wasn’t what my soul had always yearned for in the dead of night.
It wasn’t what I searched for in those quiet moments between waves, being gently rocked back and forth on my surfboard as I stared out over the endless ocean.
No, what I had longed for, searched for, for most of my life, had showed up in a pair of dark, monstrous eyes.
I felt that monster’s presence behind me, his footsteps whisper quiet, even when he wasn’t on the hunt.
“May I join you?” His voice, smooth and imposing, coiled around me with the breeze.
“Always.”
Grayson sat down behind me on the cold grass, pulling my back to his chest and cocooned us in a heavy blanket.
A wistful peace settled over me as his heat engulfed me, his strong body wrapping devotedly around me, his heart beating in rhythm with my own. I relaxed against him, my insides still sore, but my mind clear as the dark skies above us.
A woman, cloaked in darkness, walked along the beach beneath us, two black dogs by her side. She turned her head towards us and smiled. My chest ached but I couldn’t help but smile back.
Yes, it had been a cruel and blood-soaked journey, but my path was set. I was exactly where I was supposed to be and the future excited me. My soul had found what it searched for.
And it’s you. I searched for you, Gray. I never stopped searching for you.
The end.