Love Always, Isa

Chapter 16

Sixteen

MARISSA

“Hey, Marissa, wake up.” I open my eyes to Alex standing over me.

“What time is it?” I look around, trying to orient myself. I grab my phone, look at the time, and frown. It’s just after ten in the morning. “Why didn’t you wake me sooner? I thought I set my alarm for?—”

“I had Grace turn the alarm off,” he interrupts me.

“Why would you do that?” I throw the covers back and sit on the side of the bed and look around for Grace. “And where is she?”

“Annie picked her up about half an hour ago. Now”—He puts his hands in his pockets and bounces on his feet a little—“Get ready; we’re going out.”

“What? Where are we going?” I rub the sleep from my tired eyes as I yawn.

“It’s a surprise but dress comfortably because we will be outside and there will be walking.” He grins widely at me before moving to the door. “Meet me downstairs when you’re done.”

Outside? Walking? What is he up to, and why is he so excited? I throw my suitcase on the bed and start going through my clothes. I settle for a long T-shirt and a pair of leggings. I really don’t have many options when it comes to shoes. He said we would be walking but didn’t say what kind of walking. Are we talking about walking around town or something more extreme, like hiking? I finally decide on a pair of slip-ons before brushing my teeth and throwing my hair into a messy bun.

Coming downstairs, I find him waiting impatiently by the front door with two travel coffee cups in his hands. “It’s about time.” Smiling, he hands me one of the cups. “You look…” His eyes roam up and down my body, but he doesn’t finish his sentence.

“What?” I tense. “Is it bad? Should I change?” I’m suddenly feeling self-conscious about my clothing choice.

“No,” He shakes his head. “You look good.”

Finally, we get into the car and set off, going God only knows where. Wherever it is, I just hope there’s food because I’m starving. As if on cue, my stomach lets out a growl. Alex pulls over at the nearest convenience store.

“Come on,” He opens his door, jumps out, and rounds the door before opening mine. “You can’t have a road trip without snacks.”

“Road trip?” I throw my hands up. “Grace just got out of the hospital yesterday; we can’t go on a road trip. Are you crazy?”

“Don’t worry, it’s only about an hour away. We won’t be gone all day, just a few hours.” Holding a hand out for me, he gently takes my arm, helps me out of the car, and pushes me toward the store. “Come on, it’ll be fine.”

We walk through the store, gathering up various snacks, way too many for the relatively short amount of time we will be on the road. I make sure to grab a couple of chocolate bars because European chocolate is so much better than American chocolate. Once he’s paid for the snacks, we make our way back to the car and get back on the road in almost total silence.

I grab a bag of chips, open it, and begin eating them nervously. Alex’s jaw isn’t clenched, his shoulders seem less tense, and he just seems relaxed—maybe even happy. As if he can read my thoughts, he looks over at me and smiles. Happy looks good on him. The only sound comes from his fingers drumming on the steering wheel. Somehow, this feels different. Like today is going to be important. I’m just not sure how or why. I spend several minutes trying to think of something to say and coming up with nothing. I’m not sure how much longer I can take this silence.

“You still haven’t told me where we’re going.” Finally, words force themselves out of my mouth.

“You’ll find out when we get there.” He reaches over and grabs a few of my chips.

“This is it, isn’t it? This is how I die. You’re taking me somewhere in the middle of nowhere, and nobody will ever find my body.” I put my hand over my mouth to hide my smile.

“Seriously, is that what you think of me?” His voice has turned cold and rigid. He seems a little hurt by my comment.

“No, I, umm, I just…” I stammer, trying to take it back.

“I’m smarter than that. Too many people know where we are. There have been too many witnesses to see us together, not to mention the security footage from that store. If I were going to kill you, I would make sure there were no witnesses, and I had a solid digital footprint showing I was nowhere near you at the time of your unfortunate accident.” I stare at him with my mouth agape. He’s actually thought about this. “Oh, come on, Red, relax. It was a joke. I’m not going to kill you; I could never do that to Grace.”

“For someone who has nothing to hide, you sure are acting awfully secretive.” I glare at him before popping another chip in my mouth.

“I’m not being secretive; it’s a surprise.” Resting his hand on my upper thigh, he gives it a squeeze. I can’t ignore the tingles that dance across my skin and the butterflies that swirl in my stomach. “Relax. We’re going somewhere very special to me, but that’s all I’m telling you for now though.”

“I guess I can live with that,” I huff and give him a side-eye.

Forty-five minutes later, I take out one of the chocolate bars and unwrap it. I let out a low moan as I bite into the rich, creamy treat. The hand he never removed from my thigh tightens once again, garnering my attention. The corner of his mouth turns up into a half smile. “What?” I ask, but he doesn’t answer. He just shakes his head. “No, tell me.”

“Just wondering what it would take for you to make that sound for me.” He wiggles his eyebrows suggestively.

Heat rushes to my face and ears, and I decide it’s best if I ignore that comment and the way it makes me feel. “I forgot how much better the chocolate is here than back home. I’m definitely stuffing my suitcase full when we fly back.

“Or you could not and use that as your excuse to visit more often.” He takes his hand off my thigh and returns it to the steering wheel as he makes a sharp left up a winding mountain road.

“I will come back to visit, but I think you underestimate my love for chocolate. I will need some between now and then.” I look out of the window as trees pass by. “Can you tell me where we are going now? Or at least tell me how much longer it’s going to be?”

“We’re almost there. I promise.”

After a few minutes, we turn onto a narrow road that leads to a small parking area. There are various hiking trails. I’m not sure exactly where we are, but it is absolutely gorgeous. There are tall, moss-covered rock formations with walking paths in between. Bits of clear blue sky peak through the trees and I am awestruck.

“My mom used to bring me here when I was younger.” Opening the car door, he steps out. “Come on. I want to show you something.” Winking at me, he grabs a backpack I didn’t even know he brought out of the back seat and then leads me toward one of the pathways between the rocks.

“This place is amazing.”

“Just wait. You haven’t seen anything yet.” He laces his fingers through mine and pulls me further down the path. It’s such a small gesture that I’m sure he means nothing by, but that doesn’t keep the stupid grin from spreading across my face.

We continue down the walking path, most of it is so narrow we can’t even walk side by side. He never lets go of my hand, though. Once we get to a point where the path widens, I step up beside him. “I didn’t know you liked to hike. Is this something you do a lot?”

He nods. “Yeah, I may have been behind a computer screen twenty-four-seven back in the day, but I’ve always been a bit of an outdoorsy person. There’s just something so peaceful about being out here. I will admit it was more my mother’s things than mine back then, but I wouldn’t trade those memories for anything.”

“I wish I could have met her.” I squeeze his hand. He lifts my hand to his lips and places a gentle kiss on the back of it.

“Me too. She would have liked you, and she would have adored Grace. She always said she wanted me to have a kid just like me, although we know what she really meant.” A smile spreads across his face. I love how happy it makes him to talk about her.

Falling into a comfortable silence, we continue walking down the trail. The weather is sunny and warm, but it is considerably cooler up here between these rock formations. It is a perfect day—this would be a perfect date. That is, if it were a date. That thought leaves an ache in my chest.

“All right, we are…” We come around a turn in the path, and it opens up to one of the most beautiful views I’ve ever seen. “Here!”

He leads me over to the edge of the cliff and it is absolutely breathtaking. You can see miles of rocky mountains, pine trees, smaller hills, and even the sprawling city off in the distance. I stand there in awe, taking everything in. I can’t believe how beautiful this place is. Experiencing this with Alex makes it even more amazing. I want to do so much more with him.

There is a row of picnic tables close to the edge and he motions toward them before leading me over. He sets his backpack down and starts removing containers, which are full of fruit, cheese, and crackers.

“I figured we would have a picnic for lunch. Nothing too heavy because I have something special planned for dinner.”

“You have something better than this view? I’m impressed.” I grab a grape and pop it into my mouth. It’s tart but with a hint of sweet. The cool temperature of the fruit is the perfect contrast to the warm summer day.

“What can I say? I’m a man of many surprises.” He winks, causing my heart to do a somersault. “I just figured it was time for you to have some happy memories of this country.”

I will myself not to read too much into that. He doesn’t mean anything by it. I need to stop searching for deeper meanings in everything he says.

“I want to be a part of Grace’s life.” I start to say something, but he puts his hand up to stop me. “I know you said you won’t keep her away from me, and that’s not what I’m saying. I know what it’s like to grow up without a father. I just—” His voice cracks, and he clears his throat. “Seeing her lying there in that hospital bed, I just kept thinking, what if I lose her before I get a chance to really know her? I may have missed out on the last twelve years, but I don’t want to miss anything else moving forward.”

“Hey.” I reach out and grab his hand. “Grace is okay. You will have plenty of time to get to know her and do things with her. And stop comparing yourself to your father. You are nothing like him. He had a choice, you didn’t.”

He nods and gently takes his hand out of my hold, places it on top of mine, and rubs small circles along the back of it with his thumb. “That’s why I’ve decided to move to Bellevue.”

“How is that going to work with the teaching job?”

“I looked over the contract, and there’s nothing saying I have to teach in-person. The school offers online and hybrid classes, which only meet once a week. I am going to ask that my classes either be online or hybrid.” The sky darkens, and he looks toward it. There’s a clap of thunder in the distance. “I have to be here for the next few weeks, but I’ll start looking at apartments that are close to you and Grace.”

He gets up and begins clearing off the table. He shoves the still-almost-full food containers back into his bag as it starts to rain. “Well, this wasn’t how today was supposed to go, Red. There was no rain in the forecast, but this storm has popped up out of nowhere.”

“Isn’t that kind of fitting, though?” I get up and help him finish clearing the table. “Especially for us.”

“What do you mean?” He looks at me, confused.

“Oh, you know it’s just that the storms of life pop up unexpectedly and ruin your plans.” I shrug.

“Are you calling our precious baby a storm?” He scoffs and grabs my hand, pulling me to a small hiking hut that is just barely big enough for both of us to shelter under. As soon as we get under it, the rain starts pelting down.

“Have you met your child? Storm is a total understatement.” I look out at the rain falling around us. “Well, I didn’t plan on being wet today, but it looks like we’re going to get soaked walking back.”

“Oh, is that so,” he says flirtatiously with the biggest smirk on his face.

“Oh, shut up!” I playfully slap at his chest.

“I wanted to finish the trail, but it doesn’t look like it’s going to let up any, so I guess we do need to head back.” His face is so close to mine that his warm breath fans across my lips as he speaks.

“Come on.” I reach out and grab his hand. “Sometimes, the best part about unexpected storms is getting to play in the rain.” Once we are out of our shelter, I drop his hand and spin around with my arms out and my face and palms toward the sky, feeling freer than I have in a long time.

“You’re ridiculous, you know that?” He shakes his head, crosses his arms, and just stares at me.

“Alex.” I mimic his stance with my arms crossed and give him a stern look. “You need to live a little. Come on, you don’t have to be serious all of the time.”

He does a little twirl and then looks back at me for approval. I look at him disapprovingly, and he stalks toward me, wraps his arms around my waist, picks me up, and spins me around. When he puts me down, he leans over me and rests his forehead on mine, causing those damn butterflies to make an appearance again.

Water drips from the tips of his hair onto my cheeks. He reaches up to wipe the water off my face but rests his hand there instead. His eyes are staring into mine so intently that I have to close them to get some relief. His breath fans across my lips, and for a minute, I think he might kiss me, but he pulls away, and I open my eyes. “Come on, Red. We have other plans for today.” Leaving me completely dumbfounded, he walks back toward the hiking trail.

By the time we make it back, we are both thoroughly soaked. We get in the car where Alex turns the heater on full blast. “Well, hopefully, we’ll dry out some before we get to where we’re going next. I’m not sure how they’ll feel about us walking in soaking wet.”

He pulls the car back out onto the winding mountain road, but rather than going back the way we came, we head further up the mountain.

“Is that a freaking castle?” I can hardly believe my eyes as one of the most beautiful buildings I’ve ever seen comes into view. It is a massive cobblestone building with high walls, four towers, and a keep in the middle.

“Yes, that’s a freaking castle .” He laughs. “There’s a restaurant in one of the towers. We have dinner reservations, but we’re quite a bit early, so how about a tour?”

I stare out the window, eyes wide with excitement. “Yes! You’ve just made my whole day.”

He pulls onto the cobblestone road that leads to the castle, and the closer we get, the more breathtaking the view is. It is situated at the top of the mountain, right up against the cliff’s edge.

“This is where that trail would have ended had we kept going.” He parks the car and takes a towel out of a bag in the back seat before passing it to me. “Here, maybe we shouldn’t go in looking like drowned rats.”

Once we finally make our way into the castle, I am completely awestruck. The walls are made of scarlet and gold painted stone with beautiful murals of ships and horses. “I can’t believe I’m in a real twelfth- century castle. This is so much better than the replicas we have in the States.”

The lady greets us in German, and Alex looks at me. “Do you want a self-guided tour, or do you want to have a tour guide?”

“We can wander around and get ourselves lost? Let’s do that.”

We are handed a map that indicates the places we are allowed and the ones that are off-limits. Then, for the next two hours, we wander around each room. Alex reads each plaque to me that talks about the history of the castle and various other bits of knowledge about the area. I make a mental note that I need to learn German if I plan on making this a regular thing.

Could this be a regular thing? I really hope so.

“All right, it is almost time for our reservations. Let’s head down to the restaurant. I’m starving.” He motions me toward the stairs.

I swear even the large stone spiral staircases in this place are gorgeous. We’ll definitely have to bring Grace here. When we get to the restaurant, we are seated and again, I’m really regretting not knowing at least a little bit of German.

I place the menu back on the table. “I have no clue what any of this is. Can you order something for me that you think I would like?”

“Sure. How about Maultaschen? It’s hard to go wrong there.” He closes his menu and lays it on top of mine.

“What is that?” I pick at my nails nervously.

“It’s similar to ravioli but larger and has a minced meat filling.” The waiter comes over, and Alex orders the food before looking back at me.” Have you ever had mead?”

“Like the alcoholic drink?” I cock my head to the side and….

“Exactly!” He hands the menu to the waiter and orders us a drink each.

The waiter brings out two drinking horns filled with an amber liquid and tells us it will be a few minutes for our food. I take a sip. Given that it’s honey wine, I expected it to be really sweet, but it is surprisingly zesty with a pleasant note of honey. There’s even a hint of herbs in there too. Looks like I’ll have to make some more room in my suitcase.

“All right, so you went to prison for crimes you didn’t commit, you proved your innocence, and then you became a teacher. Tell me something else I should know about Alex Schwartz.” I take another sip of my mead.

“Well, for starters, I didn’t just go from prison straight to teaching. I did a few jobs here and there, but nothing long-term. I was too afraid of something happening again. In one of the places where I worked, I was a trainer. That’s how I knew I wanted to be a teacher and mentor. I wanted to help kids who were like me. There’s so much temptation to use your skills for evil rather than good, and I wanted to be a positive influence.”

“Were you always interested in computers even as a kid? Did you have any other hobbies?” I ask before finishing my drink.

“I was probably around Grace’s age when I got my first computer and really started learning the ins and outs of it.” He downs the rest of his mead and signals to the waiter to bring two more. “I had other hobbies. I played football for a couple of years around that time, too. Not the trash you Americans call football—real football.”

“Oh, so you played soccer.” I can’t help but giggle, which earns me an annoyed glare.

“No, I played football.” He rolls his eyes but cracks a smile.

The waiter brings our food and some more mead. I look down at my plate, and it does kind of look like ravioli but bigger.

“What about you? Did you have any hobbies or play any sports? He digs into his food.

“I was a loner throughout most of school. I didn’t play any sports, and I wasn’t really a part of any clubs either. I kept to myself, did my classwork, and went home. I was so happy when I met Jennifer and Freedom because I finally had the close- knit friend group I always wanted. Giving that up was tough.” I stab a piece of the Maultaschen and bring it to my mouth. “I have to know. How did someone who spent three years in prison and works as a teacher afford a house like the one you live in? Was it bought with crime money?”

He clenches his fist and with gritted teeth responds. “No, I inherited it.” He finishes another glass and asks the waiter to bring more.

“Oh, that makes sense. I didn’t actually think you obtained it illegally. Wait, I didn’t think you were from Ewigherz. Did your mother have a house there?” I finish my second drink to prepare for the next round.

“I inherited it from my paternal grandmother. Believe it or not, she was actually in my life from an early age. I just didn’t know that’s who she was. I called her my grandmother, but there were a few other older women my mom was close with who also held that title as well. It wasn’t until I was seventeen, when I decided to hack into the government database and look up my father, that I found out. Apparently, she was the only one to know about me. She told him that if he gave up his son, she would too. He was there through most of the pregnancy, but shortly before I was born, he met Freedom and Annie’s mom and decided to pretend I never happened. My grandmother was always there for my mom in any way she could be after that.” He lets out a sad sigh.

“That sounds awful. Did she have a relationship with Freedom and Annie, too?”

“She did, but not until they were older. They didn’t know about me until I got curious and one day showed up on their doorstep. Once his wife found out he had kept me a secret from her, that was pretty much the end of their marriage.” He pauses as we take our third round of drinks from the waiter. “I don’t think he was ever faithful to her. There have been rumors for years that we have another sibling that came along sometime between Free and Annie, but we’ve never been able to find them. Which is why I’m not so sure there is any truth to the rumors.”

“And nobody protested you getting your grandmother’s house?”

“No, she made it very clear in her will that she wanted it to go to me. She said they got to have a father, so I deserved everything else.” He shrugs and finishes his meal.

After many a few more drinking horns of mead, we can’t stop giggling and making fun of each other. It’s clear neither of us are in any state to drive anywhere tonight.

“There’s a hotel here, so we can spend the night if you want?” He pays the bill, and we get up to leave

I stand up and almost fall on top of him, but he catches me, and we both burst into a fit of laughter. “Yeah, that’s probably best.”

Like newborn calves learning to walk, we stumble to the back of the castle, where the hotel is. After talking to the lady at the front desk he gets the keys. “It looks like we’re sharing a bed.”

“Eh, not the first time.” I giggle, snatch the large wrought iron keys from his hand, and start walking toward the rooms. We’re almost to the room when it hits me. “Wait, I don’t have anything to wear to bed.”

“You get in the room safely, and I’ll get my bag. I might have something you can wear.” Taking one of the room keys, he heads out to the car

I stand in front of the door, put the key in the lock, and turn it. Pushing the ancient, wooden door open, I peek into the room. We knew there was only going to be one bed, yet somehow, I’m still disappointed when I spot the solo king-size bed in the middle of the room. This isn’t the first time we’ve shared a bed recently, so I’m sure this will be perfectly fine. Of course, at the hospital, Grace was there along with tons of medical staff. This is different. This time we are alone. Is this a recipe for disaster?

Swaying slightly from the effects of the mead, I walk over to the bed and sit in the middle while I wait for Alex. I look around the room taking everything in. The room is decorated with red and gold painted stone and fabrics much like the rest of the castle. Directly in front of the bed is a TV mounted onto the wall. One corner of the room has a small desk, and the other has a small dresser next to the door for the bathroom.

It feels surreal being here with him—the man I’ve been in love with my entire adult life. No, that’s not true. I realized that tonight. I’ve spent the last thirteen years in love with a man who only existed in my memories. Tonight, I fell in love all over again, but this time, it was with the real Alex. I’m not sure what to do with that realization.

The door opens, and Alex walks in with his duffle bag. He sits it on the dresser and starts rummaging through it. He pulls out a T-shirt and a pair of basketball shorts. “Sorry, this is really all I have that might work for you.” He tosses the clothes at me.

When I get into the bathroom to change, I shimmy out of my leggings and shirt and put his clothes on. I bring the collar of the shirt to my nose and take a deep breath in. It smells like him, a woodsy scent I have found oddly comforting in the last few days.

I step out of the bathroom, and instantly, I am stopped dead in my tracks at the sight in front of me. Alex is wearing nothing but a pair of boxer shorts with his back toward me. He has a tattoo that takes up most of his back. It is a phoenix surrounded by fire and smoke. My eyes roam over him before landing on the tattoo on his left arm. It is a dragon that starts at his shoulder and wraps around his arm, with the tip of the tail ending just below his elbow.

He turns around and catches me staring. He raises an eyebrow. “See something you like, Red?”

“I—uh—I—” I try to find my words when I notice his third tattoo. It is a series of ones and zeros in a spiral pattern covering his entire right pec. I reach out and trace my finger over the computer coding. “You didn’t have these before.”

He covers my hand with his and holds it to his chest. “I actually got this one while I was in prison. The phoenix , well, I got it right after I was released. It symbolizes the death of my life before prison and my rebirth after prison. And this one”—He lifts his arm—“It was actually Freedom’s idea. The three of us have a dragon tattoo. This is mine; Free has one on her back; and Annie’s is on her ankle.”

“I like your tattoos. They seem very fitting.”

Alex nods and drops my hand. “Come on, we need to get some sleep tonight.” Walking over to one side of the bed, he pulls the blankets back, crawls underneath them and pats the other side of the bed. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to bite. Unless you want me to.” He winks.

I roll my eyes at him, get in bed, and immediately shove a pillow in between us. I’m drunk, and I want him so badly I can’t stand it. I giggle and peek at him over the pillow. “This is our modesty wall. You don’t come over here to my side, and I won’t come to yours.”

He rolls on his side to face me, props himself on his arm, and stares at me for a minute. There’s a mischievous glint in his eyes when he says, “You really think a pillow is going to stop me from getting to you if that’s what I really wanted? That’s adorable.”

“I’m being serious, Alex.” I’m not, but he doesn’t need to know that.

“So am I.” He grabs the pillow, throws it across the room and then leans in closer. “What are you so afraid will happen?”

“Maybe I’m afraid because I want it to happen.” I scoot closer.

He grabs my chin and pulls my face to his. His eyes search mine. “You want this?” I nod, and instantly, his lips are on mine. He licks along the seam of my lips, and I open, giving him access. His hand glides down my side before snaking around my waist. Squeezing my ass he pulls my body flush with his.

I moan into his mouth at the feeling of his hardened length pressed against me, and my hips instinctively grind against him. Embarrassed, I pull away from him suddenly and cover my mouth with my hand. “I’m sorry, I?—”

“Don’t you dare apologize.” He grabs the hem of his shirt and pulls it over my head, exposing my bare chest. He rubs his thumb across one of my nipples, causing it to harden instantly, and then moves to the other. Sliding his hand down my stomach, he slips it beneath my shorts. I let out a ragged moan.

“That’s exactly what I want to hear; don’t you dare hold back. I want to hear every sound.” He leans down and gently sucks on my neck just below my ear. Then, he kisses down to my chest.

“Every whimper.” Another moan escapes me when he draws my hardened nipple into his mouth. He releases it with a pop.

“Every moan.” He swirls his tongue around my other nipple. Gliding a finger over my clit, he drags it down to my entrance before slipping it inside. Teasingly, he pumps it in and out before sliding it back up to circle my clit.

I gasp as his fingers press harder on that sensitive bundle of nerves, making me want more, so much more. “Oh, God, Alex. I… please,” I whine. I’m not even sure what I’m asking for.

“Yes, Red?” He looks at me with that cocky smirk plastered on his face. “Tell me what you need.”

“I don’t know.” It’s true, I don’t. I don’t know anything at this moment, and between the alcohol and the way he’s touching me, I’m too intoxicated to care.

He leans in close, and goosebumps pebble my skin as he whispers in my ear. “Do you need to come?” I nod, but that’s not good enough for him. “I need to hear you say it, Red.”

“Yes. God, Alex, I need to come,” I pant.

He positions his body over mine, leans down and kisses my lips, my neck, and then continues his way down. He jerks the shorts down my thighs, and a shudder wracks my body as he places a kiss just above my clit. With his hands on my knees spreading me wider he licks a strip from my entrance to my clit and back. I cry out a moan as he slips two fingers inside and curls them upward. He continues to work his fingers inside of me, pulling more moans from my lips. I’m about to fall over the edge when he sucks hard on my clit, setting every nerve ending on fire. Waves of pleasure crash over me as my climax ripples through me.

I lie there, trying to catch my breath as I come down from my high. He moves off the bed, so I prop myself up on my elbows to look at him. With his boxers now on the floor, my mouth waters at the sight of him stroking himself. I want nothing more than to feel him buried deep inside me.

As if he can read my mind, he turns to his bag, takes out a condom, and rolls it on. His hands grip my thighs as he pulls me to the edge of the bed, and lines himself up with my entrance. He stops before pushing inside. “Are you sure you’re okay with this? We can stop if you want to.”

“No, Alex. I need this. I need you,” I say breathlessly.

He pushes himself inside of me at an excruciatingly slow pace. I buck my hips, trying to encourage him to speed up, but instead, he stops moving completely. I let out a frustrated groan. “Alex…”

“I’ve been dreaming of this moment for the last thirteen years. I plan on taking my time and enjoying it.” He pushes in another inch, licks his fingers, and brings them to my clit, rubbing circles around it again. My climax builds again, but just before I can fall over the edge, he pulls his fingers away, taking any hope of me coming with them.

“Asshole!”

“I’ve been called worse.” He winks. Just as I’m about to yell other obscenities at him, he thrusts himself completely inside me. I revel in the feeling of being so full of him and wrap my legs around his waist. He grinds his hips into mine before pulling out slightly and thrusting back into me. Over and over again, he brings me to the brink of ecstasy without letting me come until I’m a needy whimpering mess beneath him.

“You look so fucking beautiful like this,” he growls. “Needy, and full and begging to come. I’m not sure I can hold back anymore.” Each thrust becomes increasingly harder and faster, and I throw my head back and close my eyes. He stops once again. “No. Don’t you dare close your eyes. You keep them focused on me as you fall apart.”

I stare into his lust-filled eyes as he uses his thumb to apply pressure once again to my sensitive bud, pounding into me at a deliciously fast pace. Heat spreads up my spine as the band that’s been stretched so taut finally snaps, sending tingles throughout my entire being. My vision blurs, but I never break eye contact with him. He thrusts two more times before his cock starts to twitch deep inside me. A low moan escapes him, and I know he’s filling the condom.

He collapses on top of me. The look of lust is now replaced with something softer. “I love you so damn much, Marissa.” His whole body tenses when he realizes his confession, and I silently plead for him not to take it back. He shakes his head and kisses my forehead before rolling off me.

Quickly, he gets up to dispose of the condom, and I roll on my side away from him. I was so happy when I heard those words the other day, but today, it feels like he’s regretting them. I’m trying to stop myself from crying at his lack of acknowledgment when I feel him slip back into bed behind me.

He wraps his arms around me and pulls my back flush with his chest. “Well, I didn’t mean for that to slip out. But?—”

“It’s fine, I get it. You were caught up in the moment. Don’t worry I didn’t take it seriously.” My damn voice cracks, giving away my real emotions.

“Hey, you didn’t let me finish. I didn’t mean to say it, but I did mean it. I do love you.” He drops a tender kiss on my shoulder.

I turn to face him, searching his eyes for any sign of a lie. “I love you, too. Always have. Probably always will.”

He wraps his arm around me and tucks me into his side. I let out a contented sigh and allow myself to drift off to sleep.