Chapter Twenty-One
LEE
18 years earlier
We were enjoying an amazing afternoon at the water park when I noticed Maggie and Liz walking in through the gate. I looked around to see where Ellie was; she was sitting at the far end of the park with my mom. Then I looked over at Dane and asked him, “Why are Maggie and Liz here, did one of you tell them we would be here?”
“Fuck.”
Dane said.
“I might have told Liz I couldn’t hang out with her today because we would be here with you and your family. I swear though, I didn’t tell her to come.”
I got out of the pool and started to walk in the opposite direction, hoping she just wouldn’t see me and leave well enough alone but that didn’t work. She spotted me and called me out, “Lee, over here. Can we talk, please?”
Only to avoid a scene, I walked over to her and asked her what she wanted.
“I just need to talk to you, please. Give this another chance, give me another chance, don’t you miss us?”
she reached for my hand, but I pulled it away, crossing my arms in front of my chest instead.
“No, Maggie, I’m sorry, there’s nothing left to give another chance.”
“Come on baby, how can you hate me that much that you want to replace me with her? What’s so special about her anyways?”
She was pouting, she always thinks she can get what she wants when she pouts.
“I don’t hate you, Maggie. Ellie is just different; she’s my person and one day, I know you’ll find your person, too.”
I tell her.
“What does she give you that I haven’t given you first?”
she’s starting to get louder, so I come in closer to her to calm her down.
“Come on, Maggie, don’t do this.”
I tell her quietly.
“Do what, Lee?”
she asked.
“Don’t make me say things that will hurt you. I’ve never wanted to hurt you. Just walk away.”
“How can you just tell me to walk away from the love that we had?”
“I never told you I loved you.”
I told her sternly.
“You’re right, you never once told me those words, but I knew you did. I knew you loved me every time you fucked me.”
And now she was causing a scene and Dane and Liz stepped in to help me out.
“Come on, Maggie, let’s get out of here. You’re making yourself upset.”
Liz said. I looked at Dane and he nodded. It was a silent plea to get them home and out of here without making things worse and he walked the girls out of the park while I went to take a breather before going to find Ellie. Thankfully, she was far enough away, and the park was loud enough that she didn’t hear any of it and I gave her the run down of what happened because I didn’t want to hide that from her.
* * *
I brought Ellie over to hang out with my mom for a few hours while I had to go in to work for a meeting to discuss a new job site that was going to be opening up soon. She was excited to hang out with Mom because they were going to go dress shopping for my aunt’s wedding. I liked that they had this bonding time, it made my spur of the moment decision so much easier when I thought about how she just fit into my family so well.
The meeting was being held at the food court in the mall so after we were all dismissed, I walked into Kay Jewelers and browsed the selection of engagement rings. A sales lady approached me and asked what the lucky girl was like so she could help show me some rings that would fit her personality. I told her she was brunette, big brown eyes with an olive complexion, she was stunning; equal parts exquisite and understated, quiet but confident. She smiled at my description and told me it sounded like I had found my true love and with her help, we picked out the most beautiful solitaire diamond ring that rested on a solid band of platinum – it was simple, made a bold statement and it was classy – it was perfect for her!
I’ve been planning all summer and thinking of ways for me to be closer to her after she goes back home. I talked to Mom about my plans when we were having dinner that night at my house; I helped her clear the table and brought dishes into the kitchen so I could ask her what she thought without Ellie suspecting anything. With the biggest smile on her face and her hand over her heart, she told me she couldn’t be more proud, proud of the changes she’d seen in me, proud of how well I treated Ellie this summer and proud of the plans I’ve been making for the future. I knew that with Mom’s blessing, I was making the right choice.
* * *
The next morning, Ellie had told me she wanted to do some shopping with Steff, and I used this time to go hang out with the guys at the mall. Dane wanted my help with buying Liz a gift and I was glad for the time with them before we all started to go our separate ways now that high school was over.
But dammit, if our day wasn’t threatened to be spoiled when I looked over and saw Maggie, Liz and the guys walking over to us by the escalators.
“Hey baby,”
Liz ran over and jumped into Dane’s arms. I laughed as he almost fell over trying to hide the bag with her gift in it before he caught her.
“Hey guys.”
She smiled at us when she hopped down and smoothed her skirt back into place.
“Hey Liz, guys.”
I nodded at each of them, trying to remain in the friendly conversation territory so we could all keep going with our day.
“No hello for me?”
Maggie drawled, stepping closer to me.
“Hey, how are you?”
I asked, shoving my hands in my pockets.
“I saw you in the jewelry store the other day. What did you buy me?”
Maggie was trying to be playful, but I immediately took a step away from her.
“Give it a rest, Maggie.”
Ezra told her, shaking his head.
She dismissed Ezra in typical Maggie fashion and looked back over at me, “Think we can talk for a minute?”
she asked.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Just five minutes. That’s all I’m asking for, please?”
I give in, I guess I can give her five minutes for some closure. As long as she doesn’t try to convince me to take her back and I can get her to accept that things are over, these five minutes will be worth it in the end. She looped her arms through mine and started walking me away from the group. I looked back at the guys, and they were shaking their heads at me in disapproval.
This might be a mistake I’ll regret later.
A minute later we were in the elevator, and she had her arms wrapped around me, trying to kiss me. I shoved her off and told her this was not the reason I agreed to talk to her. She apologized and dropped down on her knees telling me how much she missed me and that she would do anything to have us back the way we were. I grabbed her arms and pulled her up to face me, “Stop, Maggie, get up.”
I talked fast, wanting to be done with this confrontation as quickly as possible. I told her that what we had was great while we had it but that it wasn’t meant to be anything more than a high school relationship, we didn’t have a future because she wasn’t the one. I was through giving her nice ways to break this; that obviously wasn’t doing the trick. I told her it had been over two months since I broke things off and I had no intentions of rekindling the her and I that she wanted.
The elevator beeped and the door slid open. I quickly pushed the up button, closing the door and getting us back upstairs to our group, and giving me just enough time to finish this up. When the door opened again, I turned my back on her and walked out, saying goodbye for what I hoped to be the last time. What I didn’t know was that Maggie had other intentions for getting me alone in that elevator.
When I got back to the guys, Ezra asked me if I enjoyed that last rendezvous with Maggie and if the kiss was worth potentially losing the amazing girl that’s waiting for me back at home.
“What are you talking about?”
I asked him, “there was no kiss.”
“Didn’t look like that to us. We all saw Maggie walk out after you, she was wiping her mouth and smiling like she had gotten what she wanted.”
“What?! She’s a sick Bitch.”
I told him.
“I don’t know how many times I’ve had to tell her, nicely and then meanly, that we’re over. I’ve got to get out of here, man, sorry to cut our day short.”
I started walking away, toward the mall exit.
“It’s alright, I’ve had about as much as I can take of Liz and Dane all over each other anyways.”
He laughed.
“Catch a ride?”
“Sure.”
I told him and we walked to the parking lot where I parked my mom’s car and headed home. The plan was that Steff and Ellie were going to meet me at home, have dinner at my house and then go back to the apartment. I only had three days until Ellie left and I wanted to spend every last minute with her.
* * *
After I dropped Ezra off at his house, I went back home and dropped myself onto the couch next to Dad. He was watching a baseball game on TV and without having to communicate, he handed me the bowl of popcorn, knowing it would help that he was just there with me. We watched the game go into extra innings and I wondered why I didn’t do this with him more often. Just then, the door opened behind me, and I heard her laughter.
She was glowing in that evening light when she walked in through my front door with Steff; the sunset hit the back of her head and turned her brown hair golden. It was just the sight I needed to bring me out of the rotten mood I was still hanging on to from earlier.
And nothing else mattered.
In that moment, she was all there was.
I jumped over the back of the couch and greeted them in the foyer, taking her in my arms and breathing in the scent of her, she smelled of fresh watermelons and summer. She laughed and pecked my neck, “Hey! I missed you too!”
“Today was the longest day ever without you next to me.”
I told her.
“Ugh, dude, we were gone for six hours. Gag me! Or get a room, or something.”
Steff laughed, putting her hand up to block her eyes from our PDA.
“Hey, that’s a good idea, Steff.”
I said to her then a little louder, so Mom could hear me in the kitchen, “Mom, I need to show Ellie something upstairs.”
I took her hand and led her upstairs to my room, taking the stairs two at a time.
“Slow down, you’re going to make me trip.”
She was giggling, trying to keep up.
We got upstairs and into my room, where I closed and locked the door.
“What did you want to show me?”
She asked, looking around my room.
“Nothing. I just wanted to get you up here so I could do this.”
I picked her up, wrapping her legs around my waist and pressed her up against the closed door. A cute little noise escaped her mouth as I simultaneously kissed her and pinched her ass, and she smacked my shoulder in return. I licked the tip of her nose, and she scrunched it up, laughing. God, I love this girl.
She tangled her fingers in my hair and her mouth lingered, holding on to my lip and releasing it with a sigh while she opened her eyes and looked into mine. I kept my eyes locked on hers, setting her down onto her feet and slowly, I grazed my hand up her thigh and under her skirt. Feeling the edge of her panties, I hooked my finger in the fabric and pulled them down, letting them fall to the floor. She stepped out of them, and her hands went to my waist, my buckle, my zipper; my shorts were on the floor, followed quickly by the remaining pieces of clothing that separated our bodies.
With my hands on her hips, I guided her and stepped back until I felt the bed behind me and lowered myself onto the edge. She climbed onto my lap, straddling me and I slid into her easily, allowing her warmth to completely wash over me. My hands explored her body, and my lips trailed up her neck as she arched back, taking me in deeper. My tongue met her breasts, and I took her nipple into my mouth, making her hiss. We rocked, our movements in sync with each other, like nothing else existed but the two of us. She moaned and I put a finger over her mouth to keep her from letting everyone in the house know that I just brought her to the breaking point. I watched as her movements slowed, her legs trembled, and I could feel her tightening around me, while the vibrations between us came to an end and she opened her eyes, wearing the most amazing smile I’ve ever seen on her.
“Was that your first…”
I began to ask but she interrupted me with a vigorous nod of her head and a huge smile as she ducked her head into my neck.
“You mean I actually got to have one of your firsts?”
I whispered, and she breathed a laugh into my neck.
I lifted her off my lap and laid her down onto my bed, my body pressed against hers, “That makes me want to make the second one even better.”
I tell her, kissing a trail all the way down her collarbone and to her belly button. I pulled myself up so that I could look down on her, her hair flowing off to the side and draped over my pillows. The sight of her like this sends a shock to my body and I leaned down, with a grin on my face and whispered, “Hang on!”
She gasped as I entered her again, pulling her knees up closer to my chest.
“Show me where it is, Ellie, I want to find your spot.”
I could hear her wince and squeal as I drove deeper into her in search of the right depth that would send her riveting into explosions again. There it was – her legs wrapped around me tightly as she shuddered and dug her nails into my back. When we finished, we laid there, facing each other on our sides, gasping for breath until we heard Mom shout that dinner was ready.
Neither of us could keep a straight face at the dinner table and no one said a thing about my shirt being on backwards.
* * *
Friday, we spent the day on the beach with everyone, lounging in the sand and taking in the sun. We finished off the night with a game of beach volleyball once the sun started to set. And after we dropped everyone off, Steff said she would stay the night at Sarah’s place, and we could have the apartment to ourselves. We spent the night holding each other tight, her body so close to mine that I could feel her heart beating against my chest. We only had one more day together and I felt that familiar gut-wrenching ache in my stomach that I felt when I drove away from her on the porch three years ago.
“I don’t want you to leave me on Sunday.”
I whispered into her hair, smoothing it with my hands, wrapping it around my fingers, trying to memorize every strand.
“I don’t want to leave you on Sunday.”
She repeated back to me, holding back a crack in her voice.
“Don’t cry, babe.”
I told her, “This is not our ending, I promise you that.”
And I knew the moment I said it, that promise was going to be the end of me.
I started to serenade her with her our song, hoping it would stop her tears.
“Close your eyes, make a wish and blow out the candlelight. Girl, tonight is just your night, we’re gonna celebrate. All through the night. Pour the wine, light the fire. Girl, your wish is my command. I submit to your demands. I will do anything. Girl, you need only ask.”
“Make love to me.”
She said it softly and I did as she asked.
* * *
Steff and I planned a big going away party for Ellie’s final night in California. We invited all our friends and some of their cousins and the apartment was packed. Luckily it was a Saturday night, and nobody was angry about the loud music shaking the walls in the complex. Ellie was making her rounds, saying her goodbyes to everyone in the room when I spotted Maggie and Liz walking up the path. I ran outside, hoping to stop them at the door and turn them away; this was not a party I wanted her crashing tonight.
“Maggie, what are you doing here?”
I asked, closing the door, and blocking the entrance to the party inside.
“I came to talk to you Lee, I have something to tell you.”
“There’s nothing left to talk about. I want you to leave.”
I pointed toward the parking lot, and I didn’t realize Liz had squeaked by me and left the door open.
“You can’t erase me from your past, Lee, because I’m going to be a part of your future.”
She said, making absolutely no sense to me.
“What are you talking about, there is no future with us.”
“I’m having your baby, Lee. You’re going to be a dad.”
She took my hand and placed it on her stomach. I snatched it back, sneering at her.
“That’s not true. It’s not possible.”
I told her.
“It is, and you know it.”
Her eyes flickered over my shoulder and then back to me with a smile.
“Don’t you remember when I told you at the mall the other day? You were so happy in the elevator that you kissed me and then kissed my belly where your baby is growing!”
“Oh my God!”
I heard Ellie say. She was there, behind me, she heard what Maggie said and she ran back into the crowded apartment, locking herself in the bathroom before I could get to her.
I ran after her, telling her to stop, but she wouldn’t open the door. She screamed at me to go away. I begged her to please open the door, to let me explain what she heard but all I got back were sobs muffled by water running from the faucet. I had my back to the door, leaning my head against it, “Ellie? Please talk to me.”
This isn’t how our story is supposed to play out. We’re supposed to get the happy ending.
Before I slid down the door to the floor, Dane pulled me away from the bathroom and told me he had Liz take Maggie outside.
“Is it true, man?”
he asked in a hushed tone so that Ellie wouldn’t hear the conversation.
“No! I don’t know.”
My head is in my hands, and I can’t think straight. I’m numb.
“I guess it could be a possibility. We slept together the night before I ended things; that was almost three months ago though.”
“Do you think she’s telling the truth?”
Ezra was next to me now, blocking my view of the bathroom door.
“Why would she lie about something like that?” I asked.
“I know she’s a crazy Bitch, but is she really capable of making up a story like that?”
Dane asked us both.
I threw my hands up, “Hell if I know! The rest of it was a flat out lie, though.”
I told them.
“She didn’t tell me at the mall, and I never kissed her. I told you that already. I definitely didn’t touch her belly, either.”
I looked at Ezra, reminding him of our conversation as we left the mall that day.
“Maybe that was her plan all along.”
Ezra thought out loud.
“Make it look like you two had a moment in the elevator so she could draw out this story into something believable.”
“If it’s a lie, she sure fooled Liz, though.”
Dane pulled a piece of paper out of his pocket and handed it to me.
“Liz showed me this when she got here. It’s an ultrasound picture that Maggie had in her car when she picked her up tonight.”
Ezra snatched it from Dane’s hand and held it up closer to his face to inspect it.
“It doesn’t have her name or anything identifiable on here. It could be a fake.”
He said to me, tossing the paper on the floor.
I felt like I was going to vomit, and I looked over at the bathroom. The door was open, and the light was left on. I ran over, pushing the bathroom door open and she wasn’t there. My eyes fell to the floor, seeing that the phone had been pulled into the bathroom from the hallway. I rushed back to the living room, searching frantically and slammed into Ezra’s back.
“Where’s Ellie? She’s gone.”
We all looked around at the people crammed into the crowded space, then Dane pointed at the window, “There! She’s walking toward the parking lot.”
His head followed in the direction where she was headed and saw a taxi with its hazards on.
“Go! She’s getting in the taxi, man. Go!”
He pushed me toward the door, and I ran.
I tried to catch up to her, and I yelled out to her, “Ellie! Stop!”
She looked over her shoulder, I know she saw me, her face was red from crying, and she turned her back and got in the taxi, slamming the door.
I fell to my knees, shaking with anger and frustration, my head clouded with pain, as the taxi drove away from me, leaving with my heart in the back seat.
I don’t know where she’s going.
I don’t know how to find out.
I don’t know what to do without her.
She’s gone.