Chapter Nine #2
An hour later, the market was in full swing.
Mother had kept me busy, and she kept popping out to check on me between each of the customers that sought out her healing magic.
I had never found anyone to deliver the note to Castien, and I hated the idea of him waiting for me at his stall.
I searched every customer’s face for one that was familiar enough to send the note to him, but the only familiar face I’d seen was the woman from the Pavilion who had scoffed at my humble shopkeeping.
I would not trust her to deliver anything safely for me, nor did I believe she would willingly do it.
Another hour passed, and I knew that Castien would think I stood him up. Had he left the stall to search for me, or did he believe I’d shared a night with him and had no desire to see him again? My heart ached in my chest at the idea.
Finally, I saw a familiar face I could trust.
“Acantha,” I called out as they passed the stall.
Their head turned toward me, and I watched as their face lit up. “What are you doing here?” Acantha asked as they cut their way to the counter. “Castien said you despised apothecary work.”
“Father’s ill,” I told her simply. “Can you please tell Castien? I do not want him to think—”
“That spending the night in his cabin meant nothing to you?” they teased, wiggling their eyebrows in a suggestive way.
I’d thought I’d seen them from the corner of my eye as I left that morning.
This was simply confirmation. I nodded, and Acantha’s smile grew brighter.
“I’m very glad to hear it. My brother does not like most people. ”
“I’ve picked up on that.”
“He likes you.”
My face flushed. “I’ve picked up on that too.”
Acantha picked up a wrapped bar of soap meant to sooth scaly skin and sniffed it. “I like this,” they stated. “If I do not have dry skin, will it be too much?”
That was a question for Father. That might even be a question for Mother, but she was tucked away behind the curtain, working her magic on a young child who had hurt their ankle earlier that day.
I’d been on the receiving end of that bit of healing magic in the past, and I knew Mother would be angry if I interrupted her.
“I do not know,” I told Acantha honestly.
“I would assume that it wouldn’t, but I’ve never been good at any of this. ”
Acantha laughed and put the bar of soap back down on the counter.
They picked up a vial of oil. “This reminds me of the oil Castien has been wearing this week.” I leaned forward and smelled it.
The smell was familiar, though it lacked something that was distinctly Castien.
I wondered if it worked like my favorite oil, enhancing natural smells to draw people to me.
“Until this week, I think Castien only wore it three times. He’s put it on every day for the last few. ”
Had he?
“He has also been much more careful in how he dresses.”
“I watched him dress this morning,” I told them with a shake of my head. “I did not see any careful consideration.”
“I know my brother.” I had no doubt about this. Castien had said that Acantha was the closest to him of all his siblings. “I’ve never seen him smile as much as he does with you, either.”
“What are you saying?” I asked Acantha softly.
“I am saying that my brother cares for you in a way I’ve never seen before.
He is different with you.” Acantha’s face turned serious.
“If you care for my brother, and I believe you do, then you need to speak to him. You need to tell him how you feel, because I do not think either of you will find anyone better suited. You bring out a side of Castien that I’ve always known was there, but he does not allow most people to see.
He is softer with you. He pulls his head out of his notebooks and studies.
” Acantha reached across the counter and cupped one of my hands in theirs. “He told me about you. Years ago.”
Years ago.
Our first meeting and our first kiss, when we were barely more than boys. The memories came rushing back, mingling with the new memories we’d made this year.
“He studied the stars for an entire year after he met you, and he said it was because of the boy at the market. He wanted to find you the next year and tell you stories. He even asked Pari to pick up a book on the stars from Dun Steorra for his Naming Day. It was the only time I’d seen anything capture his attention the way his gears and cogs and inventions did. Until now.”
I could imagine it. I could imagine Castien’s serious eyes reading over pages of the legends of the stars.
I could imagine him studying the star charts that had never made sense to me, and I could picture him trying to find each of the constellations in the skies of Gearwick.
All because he wanted to tell me about them, only I never showed. Just as I never showed that day.
Until now.
The words echoed in my head.
“Until now?” I needed clarification before my dreamer’s heart read meaning into them that Acantha had not meant.
“Until you.” Acantha’s words offered clarity but no peace.
If anything, they made me more uneasy. If this was so different for him, then how must he be feeling now?
How must he have felt that morning when I did not show up to his stall because I needed to help Mother?
I fumbled around the counter until I found the pen meant to write purchases down in the logbook.
I pulled out the note and scribbled seven words at the bottom: I will meet you tonight after closing.
I passed the note to Acantha and made them give me a solemn oath that they would deliver it to Castien as soon as possible. I did not want him thinking for one moment longer that I had abandoned him. I could not stomach the idea.
Mother would be able to make her way back to camp without me, or I would walk her back and then race to Castien.
Acantha was right. Mother was right. Raylen was right.
I needed to tell Castien how I felt.