Chapter Ten #2
“You have no need to be sorry,” I assured him.
“Your parents needed you. It is admirable that you would sacrifice your happiness for your parents. I know how you loathe working their apothecary.” I knew how they made him feel when he worked there.
He doubted his ability when he was in their company.
It was nothing more than an act of love, and how could I begrudge anyone an act of love for their family?
It was just another trait I admired about him.
“Can we go somewhere to talk?” Oleander asked. I could read the nerves and worries in his body language, and I did not know what he needed to talk about. I only knew that I would follow him anywhere, listen to him talk about anything.
I nodded. “My cabin?”
“No. If we go to your cabin, I will just be thinking about getting you back to the loft.”
“I see no problem with this.” He laughed at my words. “However, if it would be better, we can go to the shrine to talk. Or perhaps down to the river or your tent?”
“The river,” he decided.
Back to where it all began. Back to where we shared our first kiss as boys and our second first kiss as adults.
It only felt right to have the conversation I’d been thinking of all day by the same river.
Assuming, of course, that his discussion was not about something that would render my day of contemplation null and void.
He told me about his day as we walked back to his camp. It was small talk, and I could sense him navigating around certain topics. I wondered if it had to do with what he wanted to speak to me about privately.
A hopeful part of me that rarely surfaced suggested that maybe, just maybe, the conversation he wanted to have was the same one I had been thinking about all day.
We finally made our way to the riverbank.
He sat down on the dew-dampened grass, and I settled beside him.
The sounds of the camp behind us mingled with the water against the riverbank and the sounds of crickets and bugs in the woods.
We sat in near silence for a few moments as he gathered his thoughts.
“I do not know where to start,” he admitted.
He wiped his hands on his trousers before planting them beside him on the grass.
His eyes moved to the stars above us, and I was suddenly seeing two of him.
I saw him as the man he was now, but I also saw the ghost of the boy he’d been.
I remembered us sitting here, clear as day, with him pointing out stars and telling me the stories and legends. “Do you remember when we were young?”
“I do.”
“That day, spent wandering the market with you, and that night, sitting along this same riverbank, was the first time I’d ever felt anything for another person.
I’ve spent my life chasing that feeling, dreaming of someone that could replicate the way I felt when you looked at me.
I came close a few times, but they were never able to look past my shortcomings.
” I reached across the distance between us, resting my hand on his thigh.
I wanted to tell him that his shortcomings were just in his head, but I did not want to interrupt him either.
“I thought I would find that here. I thought I would come to the market, and I would meet someone who stole my heart. Someone who would give me what I dreamed of.” He drew in a deep breath and brought his eyes to me. “And I have.”
Fear coursed through my veins then ebbed. He was not going to tell me about an engagement. I could still feel the way he’d kissed me when he’d found me outside my stall. He would not kiss me if he’d found someone who gave him the feeling he’d described. Hope reignited in my chest.
“Who?”
I needed to hear my hope from his lips.
His hand covered mine. “You.” My heart skipped a beat in my chest. I leaned forward and kissed him softly on the lips. “Is that okay?”
“It is,” I assured him. “I’ve been thinking about this all day, and I planned on having this same conversation with you.”
His eyes lit up. “Do you think it could work?”
“I do.”
“How?”
I outlined my initial thoughts. I would make a monthly visit to Emberleigh. I could stay with him for a night or two before returning with my bounty.
“That would work for the short term,” he agreed.
His hand squeezed mine, and he dragged his eyes from our hands to my face.
“But what about the future? We cannot live so far away from one another long term. Travelling to me would affect you far more than it would me. I would not be doing enough to make this work.”
“Perhaps, if it works, you could come back with me to Gearwick and live,” I suggested.
“Leave Emberleigh?” He pondered the words for a moment, and for the first time, I wished he were one of my devices.
If he were, I would be able to hear the cogs in his mind.
They would speak to me, and I would be able to diagnose just what it was that he needed to be soothed, to be convinced that this was a plan that could work.
“I have never lived so far from my family.”
“We could make the journey together, every few months. We can go to the village where you were raised, see your parents. Perhaps I can even help to negotiate a trade agreement between them and the local apothecary in Gearwick. They are always seeking more trade partners.” If it meant that he would feel comfortable coming with me to Gearwick, then I would do anything.
“If that doesn’t work, then I can find a way to open an outpost in Emberleigh. ”
I did not want to do that. I’d built my name and reputation amongst my clan, and I did not want to lose the years of reputation my name had garnered, or the years of reputation Papa’s name had garnered before that.
I did not want to be so far away from my family or my siblings, but the alternative was to not be with Oleander.
“You would do that for me?”
“I would.” I might not enjoy it, but I would do it if it meant that he would be willing to take this chance.
“Then I would be willing to discuss moving to Gearwick for you.” He drew in another breath. “And marriage? I know it is not something you want, but I have always dreamt of it.”
I thought for a moment. What were my objections to marriage?
I felt that most people married too quickly.
They came to market, and they found someone there.
Their marriages were based upon convenience and location.
Statistically, a lot of those marriages lasted.
Whether they were built on love or convenience, they lasted because they’d gone in with the same idea of a future.
They took lovers to liven up their marriage or to fill a void left by their partner.
“If we survive a year,” I started slowly, an idea forming in my head, “then we will return to Everend Market next midsummer, and I will propose to you here on this very riverbank.”
He kissed me softly on the lips. “I agree.”
“Then you are mine?”
“I am yours.”
We kissed longer, laying along the grassy riverbank, until the dew soaked through our clothing. When we parted, it was only long enough to go to his tent so he could pack a bag and make our way back to my cabin. Once we reached it, we did not part again for the rest of the night.