Chapter 12 #2
She stared at him, a dignified man with kindness in his eyes and an olive branch in his hand. He was her mother’s friend, her lover’s commanding officer. He would keep her safe.
Her head nodded in agreement, feeling the tears fall as she did. A gasping sob brought her hand to her mouth.
If you love something, set it free…
She cried until she fell asleep, a dreamless relief from the most difficult of days.
Hank didn’t know what kind of flowers she liked, so he bought one of each.
A few hours of sleep had done him a world of good, and as he walked into Julie’s hospital room he had a bounce in his step and a smile on his face.
She was sitting in the blue recliner, watching the rare winter thunderstorm rattle the city of Boston. The blanket of white had been ripped off the landscape by rain, leaving only shredded bits of snow smeared and diminishing in its wake.
“You’re up,” he said as he crossed to her, kissing her cheek. “That’s terrific. How are you feeling?”
“Good. I’m good.” She sat oddly still, her hands clenching the arms of the chair.
“What did the doctor say? Has he been in to see you?”
She nodded. “He says I’m going to be fine.”
Hank offered her the flowers. “I brought you these. I wasn’t sure what you liked.”
“Thank you.”
“Is everything okay? You seem preoccupied.”
She looked back to the storm out the window. “I guess I am.”
“What’s going on?”
Lightning flashed and Hank found himself counting, waiting for the thunder. He got to five before she answered him.
“This isn’t going to work.”
Thunder crashed outside the window as shock glanced off Hank like a blow. He must have misunderstood. “What do you mean?”
“You and me. It’s not going to work.”
“Why the hell not?”
“I don’t want to be with you, Hank. I’m sorry.”
He stared at her unmoving body, her eyes never leaving his. The stillness that captivated her contrasted with mother nature’s violent outburst outside. A different kind of storm took hold in his heart.
I’m not going to lose you again.
“You said you love me.”
“I was upset. I confused gratitude with love.”
“What, and the last six hours have cleared it all up for you?”
She looked away from him, another flash of lightning capturing her lifeless features.
“What happened between now and then, Julie?” He knelt before her on the tile floor. “Because I love you. I want to make a life with you.”
She turned back to him quickly, her eyes angry and harsh. “I don’t love you, Hank. I never did. You almost got me killed, you let my father escape. I’m lucky to even be alive. Now for God’s sake, get the hell out of here.”
Hank traipsed through the hallways, down flights of stairs and got lost. A trash can beckoned and he threw away the flowers he had bought for the woman he loved. He was angry, he was confused. He was emotionally devastated.
Somehow he got back to his car in the parking garage, rammed the key in the ignition and started to drive. Where he was going, he had no idea.
The city streets were congested with traffic and he felt the world closing in on him. He picked up the ninety-three expressway and headed out of the city, quickly accelerating beyond the speed limit on the slick roads. He pulled his cell phone out of his pocket and dialed Barstow.
“You need to get a uniform on Julie Trueblood’s hospital room.”
“I thought you were taking care of that.”
“Not anymore.” He looked down and disconnected the call. He lifted his gaze and saw a family driving beside him on the road, reminding him that he was not the only one who might be hurt if he drove recklessly.
“Fuck.” He said to himself, easing off the accelerator.
He ran his hand through his hair. What would he do now that Julie was gone?
He had let her down, failed to protect her, and she couldn’t forgive him.
He understood that. He couldn’t forgive himself, either.
The knowledge burned at his gut like a physical pain.
Julie Trueblood had every right to want him out of her life for good.
He just didn’t have any idea what the future would look like without her in it. She had made him happier in a few days than anyone had made him in his whole life.
Gwen found Julie an hour later, propped in the same blue recliner like a lifeless doll. Outside the window, rain fell in a constant pour from the heavens.
“Julie, are you all right?”
Slowly her head pivoted to face Gwen. “Yes.”
“Where’s Hank? I thought he would be here?”
“I sent him away.”
Gwen cocked her head to the side. “Why?”
“I didn’t want him here anymore.”
The healer in Gwen instantly wondered if Julie was suffering an infection. She walked over and put her hand on Julie’s forehead.
“I’m not sick.”
“Then what’s going on?”
“What do you mean?”
“Why did you send Hank away?”
Julie frowned and shrugged her shoulder as if she had no idea of the answer. “I just don’t think we should be together anymore.”
Gwen sat down on the edge of the bed, close to her niece. “You broke up with him? What the hell is going on, Julie?”
Julie raised her eyes to Gwen’s. “I’m not good for him, Gwen.”
“Of course you are.”
She looked at her hands in her lap. “I’m John McDowell’s daughter. How do you think that’s going to play at the office?”
Gwen pursed her lips. “I imagine it will be difficult for Hank at first.”
“I imagine it will ruin his entire career.”
“That’s for Hank to consider, Julie. Not for you to decide for him.”
Julie looked frankly at Gwen. “And what do you think he would say?”
“He would choose you, of course.”
“Exactly.”
“So that’s it, then. You just sent him away.” Gwen stood and walked to the sink, washing her hands and grabbing a paper towel. “I think you’re being very selfish, Julie.”
Julie turned wide eyes to her aunt. “No, I’m being very unselfish. I’m setting him free.”
“You,” she said, pointing at her, “are conveniently escaping a real relationship with a good man by bowing out gracefully at the eleventh hour. Shame on you, Julie. You’re not even going to give him a chance, are you?”
“I’m doing this for Hank.”
“Oh, bullshit, Julie.” Gwen’s chest heaved and her nostrils flared as she grabbed her purse off the bed. “You have a chance at happiness, my dear, that many people never get. Now, I’m going for a walk. I’ll return when I am no longer angry enough to throttle you.”
Hank got out of the cab, pulling his red and black carry-on behind him. The airport loomed wide before him, its curbside crowded with vacationers and businesspeople jockeying for position at makeshift check-in counters.
His uniform glittered in the midday sun, every badge and pin in perfect place, his shoes polished to a flawless shine.
The military was his life.
Barstow had called back, and this time Hank didn’t hang up.
He gave Hank orders to travel to Seattle for an investigation into the disappearance of two ensigns during a training exercise.
It was a high profile case, and the admiral hinted that Hank would finally be promoted to commander if the investigation was resolved satisfactorily.
A family walked in front of him, husband and wife similar in height and build to him and Julie. Three small children followed behind, the oldest a girl, maybe five. She turned to Hank and waved, her other arm pulling a pink monster suitcase behind her.
He turned to walk into the airport, but his feet refused to move beneath him. A month ago, a year—he knew exactly what he wanted. Today all of those dreams were within reach. All he had to do was get on a plane and do his job.
But he didn’t want those things anymore. He wanted Julie Trueblood.
Any other lieutenant could be standing where he stood, wearing the same uniform he wore, headed toward the same destination to perform the same job.
He turned in the opposite direction and gazed into the bright afternoon sun, shielding his eyes so he could make out the skyline of downtown Boston.
Julie.
Gwen had called this morning to let him know Julie had been discharged. She also asked him for a gun to give her niece, unable to obtain one herself on short notice. He proposed a trade—the weapon for Julie’s address.
“I’m sorry, Hank. She wouldn’t want me to tell you.”
“And it’s illegal for me to give a firearm to an unlicensed civilian.”
The address was tucked in his lapel pocket. He pulled it out and knocked on the window of a cab as it began to pull away. “I need a ride,” he said, climbing in as he loosened the collar on his uniform.