Chapter 2
“I'm home,” Meghan called from the doorway of the apartment, her arms wrestling with a seven-foot spruce.
Warm, humid air and the smell of something baking greeted her, making her mouth water.
“Fiona?” She pushed the top of the tree over the threshold, a branch whipping back to scratch her face.
“Damn it,” she muttered. “I could use some help here, please!”
Footsteps padded to the other side of the doorway, Fiona's heart-shaped face and green eyes just visible over the foliage. “You got a tree!”
“I think the tree got me, actually. I'm bleeding, and I'm stuck. Help me get this in there.”
“What do you want me to do?”
“Crawl under there and pull the trunk in first. What are you baking?”
Fiona knelt down under the boughs, her red hair just visible beneath the full branches.
She looks more like Becky every day.
“Rhea's making a spice cake,” said Fiona.
“It smells fantastic.”
“It has rum in it. She's been hitting the sauce ever since.”
A sing-song voice came from deeper in the apartment. “I hear you, Fiona dear.”
“You're hallucinating, Rhea. I left an hour ago,” she yelled back.
“This isn't working,” said Meghan. “Grab the top of this thing and pull.”
“Here?”
“No, here,” she said, pushing the largest branch toward her daughter. The tree snapped free of the door frame and into the living room, falling onto its side.
“Nice one,” said Fiona, her gaze meeting her mother's eye-to-eye, a light smile at her lips. She wore a plaid button-down shirt and leggings that hung off her body like borrowed clothes. Her skin glowed more pale than ivory, a new and unflattering change.
Meghan forced a smile onto her face. “How was your day?
“Good. I take it we're decorating a Christmas tree tonight?”
“Unless you have other plans.”
“Rhonda and Kathy asked me to catch a movie. But that's okay, I'd rather decorate.”
A petite, fifty-something woman with short brown hair walked in the room. “Can I help too?”
“You'd better. We're not doing all the work ourselves.”
The phone rang and Fiona ran off to answer it.
“How was work?” asked Rhea.
“Good, good.” Meghan nodded, then stopped abruptly. “Bad. It was awful, actually. I spent the whole day redoing all the artwork for the Gazelle account that I just did on Friday.”
“I thought that nightmare was finished!”
“Yeah, me too...” Meghan trailed off as Fiona came near with the phone.
“It's for you,” she said, her eyes wide. “It's Dr. Haring.”
Meghan's brows drew together. She took the phone and walked into the kitchen, turning to be sure Fiona hadn't followed her. “This is Meghan.”
“Ms. O'Connor, it's Dr. Haring. I know I said I wouldn't have anything for you until Monday, but I just got the lab results and I wanted to let you know ASAP.”
Every muscle in Meghan's body clenched in anticipation.
“I'm afraid it's not good news,” he said. “Three out of six alleles, which is quite common for a parent.”
Meghan slid down the cupboard and sat on the vinyl floor.
The doctor cleared his throat. “I told you it was extremely unlikely you would be a match, Ms. O'Connor...”
“One in two hundred.” Tears began to collect in her eyes.
My baby. My poor, sweet baby.
She wanted to get off the phone, but didn't trust herself to speak.
“Forgive me, Ms. O'Connor, but I need to ask again. Does Fiona have any other family?”
“No.” The word hung in the air, and Meghan waited to see if he would challenge her with a basic knowledge of biology.
“Well then, you may want to organize a donor drive. But the chances of finding a match from an unrelated donor, not already on the registry, are formidable.”
Rhea Goldstein sipped her mug of tea as she cleaned up the last of the spice cake dishes.
She was more at home in Meghan's kitchen than her own, having cooked the balance of her meals over the last eight years in this space.
The mirror image of her own apartment, the kitchen had a breakfast bar that overlooked the living room, and she could see Meghan sitting on the floor in the glow of the Christmas tree lights. Fiona had gone upstairs to take a bath.
Rhea pulled out a bottle of fragrant red wine, poured two glasses.
She drank one down and refilled it, taking a moment to prepare for battle before joining Meghan by the tree, handing her a glass and sitting herself down rigidly in a side chair. “I think it's time you told me the truth,” she said.
Meghan looked confused. “What?”
“The truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth so help you, God.” Rhea felt her voice shake, knew that her grasp on her wine glass was tight enough to snap the stem if she wasn't careful.
Rhea sipped her wine, remembering the first time she saw Meghan and little Fiona with her Santa hat, unpacking everything they owned, two days before Christmas.
Peeking though her front curtains, Rhea knew right then they were running away from something.
She’d been drawn to the woman and the girl from that first look, imagining she might find a way to befriend them, or prove herself useful.
Rhea had been alone for a long time.
She introduced herself and offered to help, which they politely refused, then Rhea came back to her apartment. The squalor that greeted her was a surprise.
When did I let it get so bad?
Dirty dishes that had been sitting in the same place for weeks, stacks of papers and heaps of clothing--whether clean or dirty, she didn't know. She opened the windows to the icy December air and cleaned her apartment for the first time in months, then showered and blew dry her hair.
She drove to the discount store and bought chocolate milk for Fiona, such a beautiful name, imagining the girl might come over for a visit.
On a whim, she filled her cart with Christmas ornaments, then she drove to where the boy scout troop was selling real Christmas trees, and bought a beauty for Meghan's apartment.
Like a child who finds someone else's puppy, she selfishly ignored whatever had brought them to her. Meghan and Fiona gave her the first sunshine, the first taste of love, since her Bill passed away.
But she would give it all up in an instant, if it meant Fiona could be well again.
“What are you talking about?” asked Meghan.
“I'm talking about the two of you. You and your daughter. Where you came from, what happened that brought you here.”
Meghan stared at her hands as she fiddled with something small. “Why are you asking me now, Rhea?”
“Because it's time. Where is that baby's father?”
Meghan gazed at the tree. “I don't know. We left him in Connecticut.”
“Did he hurt you?”
“No, but I was afraid of him.” She uncrossed her legs, stretching them out before her on the soft rug. “He was burning down buildings—the grocery where he used to work, his parents’ house. The building where we first made love.”
Rhea shook her head, shocked by what she was hearing.
“The first fire was before we left Largo. Liam was implicated, but I thought he was being set up by someone else.” She scoffed. “Turns out, that was just what I wanted to believe.”
“They say love is blind.”
“And foolish. I walked away from my family to start a life with a boy who was lying to me and running from the law.”
“You must have loved him very much.”
The corner of Meghan’s lip turned down. “I did.”
“I wondered why you sometimes seem so sad,” said Rhea quietly. “Is it because of him?”
Meghan nodded as she wiped at the tears on her cheeks. “And I miss my family.”
“Why didn’t you go home when you left him?”
“Honestly? I told myself it was because he’d be able to find us there. But I think that was only part of the reason.” She took a shaky breath in, exhaling loudly. “I don’t think my family can forgive me.”
Rhea knew a thing or two about forgiveness, and knew it would be difficult for anyone to turn these lovely women away. “I think it’s time you find out.”
Meghan shook her head, looking at Rhea like she was crazy. “I'm not going back there.”
“You have to. Fiona can stay with me.”
“They hate me.”
“I doubt that very much, but regardless, you have no choice.”
“I'm going to hold a donor drive. I’ll contact the radio and TV stations, and the newspaper. The community will support her. We’ll get people tested.”
Rhea leaned forward. “You’re looking for a needle in a haystack, instead of going to the sewing store. Does Liam have brothers and sisters?”
“His family doesn't even know Fiona exists!”
“So you'll need to tell them. How many brothers and sisters?”
Meghan stood, taking Rhea's empty glass into the kitchen. “Three brothers and a sister.”
Rhea closed her eyes and sighed. “That’s someplace to start. They might even have kids by now, too, which would mean cousins who could be tested for Fiona.”
“The odds still aren’t good. You know that.” Meghan cursed under her breath. “I don't want to go to those people. What if they tell Liam?”
“Then you will deal with him face-to-face. It's time to stop running from the past, Meghan. That baby needs her family more than she needs you right now.”
Liam bent at the waist, driving his shovel beneath eighteen inches of heavy, wet snow. He was sweating and hot despite the frigid weather, the hard work compensating for his lightweight jacket.
He’d been at it for more than an hour, his muscles aching from the punishing task. It was the numbness in his mind that Liam was after, a trance-like calm that he couldn’t get from the snow blower parked in the garage.
God knows he needed to be numb right now.
It was just after dark, his breath making little clouds in the triangle of light that shined on his driveway. Up and down the street, neighbors’ Christmas lights heralded a season that Liam found difficult to tolerate.
Eight years they’ve been gone, almost to the day.