CHAPTER EIGHTEEN #2
“What’s up with you, then? He did nothing wrong.” Max seems a little pissed off with my actions and he probably has good cause. It’s not a good look for the band. Still, I’m not ready to come out of my foul mood.
“That guy is a dick.”
“But he was an innocent dick. Jesus, Tommy. This isn’t like you,”
I don’t speak for the rest of the journey, and once we get back, I slam the car door and head straight for Angie’s.
“Stay cool, bro. Don’t do anything you’ll regret,” Max shouts after me, but I’m so fucking mad, I almost blank him out.
I bang my fist against her front door, and when there’s no reply, I do it again. I don’t expect Connie to answer.
“Hi, Tommy.”
“What the hell are you doing here? You spend more time here than you do next door.” She’s taken aback. I’ve never spoken to her like this before. I shouldn’t be sharp; it’s not her fault.
“Sorry. I left you a note on the kitchen table,” she says, biting her bottom lip.
“I haven’t been back yet. Where’s Ozzie?”
“He’s upstairs having a nap. We came over for a playdate with Josh, but the boys were so tired they’re having a mini sleepover. Is everything okay?”
No. But I’m not going into it with her. “Where’s Angie?” I ask, ignoring her question.
“She went for a walk on the beach. She won’t be long.” She glances at her watch, probably to avoid my mad eyes.
“Which way did she go?”
“Towards the lifeguard station. Are you sure you’re all right, Tommy?” Her face is flushed, which means I’ve upset her.
“I’m sorry, Connie. I’m having a bad day. Stay here with the boys and I’ll be back soon.”
It doesn’t take long to reach the ramps to the sand, and when I get there, I just make out Angie’s long blonde hair waving against the breeze in the distance.
The weight of wet sand on my trainers hauls me back, so I flip them off and run.
The wind is howling, it’s cloudy as hell, and spots of rain dampen my exposed skin. Why she wants to be out in such shit weather beats me.
“Angie,” I call after her, but I’m not sure she can hear me. Then the wind drops, so I try again, shouting her name at the top of my voice. “Angie.” She finally turns around, squinting towards me, then waits so I can catch up.
She looks worried as I approach her. “Is everything okay?”
“I need to talk to you.”
Her face drops. “Oh, God, what? Is it Josh?”
“Josh is fine.”
“Then what happened?” Her eyebrows draw together while she waits for me to speak.
For a second, I contemplate what to say and decide to just come out with it. “I’ve just met your friend Fraser.”
“Okay,” she answers, cool as a cucumber, although she swallows hard.
“He said the two of you are no longer an item.”
Her eyes narrow and her lips set in a perfect line. “I see.” She nods, looking at the sand under her bare feet. “Let me ask you something, Tommy.” Her eyes connect with mine as her lips purse. Her walls are building up around her, I can see them. “What the hell has this got to do with you?”
My jaw clenches. “It has everything to do with me when you lie about it. Couldn’t you be straight and tell me to back off instead of fake dating?”
She closes her eyes, dropping her head to the side. “It’s not that simple.”
I draw in a breath and release it slowly. “When I asked if you were still seeing Fraser, why didn’t you give me a straight answer?”
“I’m sorry. I panicked. It all happened so quickly and I wanted to sort out my thoughts. It just seemed easier—” Now, she can’t even look at me.
“I thought we were always honest with each other, but it’s pretty clear that’s not true.”
Her wide eyes look right into mine and her body tenses. “You weren’t very straight with me either when you ended up shagging anything that moved behind my back.”
Throwing my hands in the air, I almost laugh with frustration. Instead, I bite my bottom lip to stop myself and try to reason with her. “You’re talking about something that happened a million years ago. Why drag it up again?”
She looks away. “I’m making a point.”
“A poor one. Don’t dig up ancient history, especially that history. I’m ashamed of what happened back then, but Jesus, Angie. I thought you’d be over it by now.”
Her fingers comb through her blonde hair as she gazes up at the sky. “I’m sorry, Tommy. I was just… I don’t know looking for a way to explain how I feel.”
“And you focus on that. Don’t you think I regret it?” She’s looking anywhere but at me, so I step in front of her to make sure she gives me her full attention. Her eyes snap to mine.
“I’m sorry, Angie, okay? I’m fucking sorry, but we’re not kids anymore. There was no need to use Fraser to punish me for how I behaved over ten years ago.”
She grabs my arm as I try to walk away. “I wasn’t using Fraser to punish you. At least, that wasn’t my intention.”
I blow out a long sigh. “Then what? What the hell is going on? You lied to me, and friends don’t lie to each other, especially not us.”
When she doesn’t answer straight away, I give up and stride away in the opposite direction. This time, she runs right into my path and stops me in my tracks. Her hands are holding my arms, making sure I can’t take another step away from her.
“What did you think was going to happen between us, Tommy? Tell me that.”
Confusion fills my head. “I thought we wanted the same thing.”
“Which is what?” She asks, searching my face.
Shaking my head, I try to explain. “That we always had something special, and one day, we’d end up together.”
She gazes up into my eyes. The burning heat returns between us and I’m doing all I can to resist her beautiful, full lips. If I thought for a second, she’d respond, I’d do it, but I can’t risk her rejecting me again. I turn my head away.
“There’s a reason I’ve been stalling, Tommy, but it’s difficult to explain.”
Her hands drop to her side and she sighs like she’s gearing up to drop a bomb.
“Go on,” I tell her, folding my arms, but this time keeping distance between us. “It can’t be anything worse than what you’ve already said.”
Angie bites her bottom lip. “I’m scared.” She looks up with glassy eyes.
Now I can’t help myself. She seems so vulnerable. I step forward again and take her face in my hands. “Of what? Tell me.”
She takes in a calming breath. “I promised myself I’d never date another musician, never mind the same one. You live in a very different world to me where there’s too much temptation of just about everything. I couldn’t bear the worry of what you’re doing and who you’re doing it with.”
Brushing my thumb across her soft skin, I cup my hands around her face once again to make sure I have her full attention.
“You’re confusing me with who I used to be.
I wouldn’t try to justify how I behaved during the early days of the band and for some time after.
There were women. A lot of them. Taking them home was almost part of the job, but I was a single guy.
Since then, I got married and I’ve never once cheated on my wife.
I wouldn’t do that to her or my boy, not that it matters now. ”
Angie’s lips brush against my hand. “I know,” she whispers. “I know you’re a good man.”
Taking her hands in mine, I duck a little so we’re face to face.
“Forget the complications, Angie. Forget who I used to be and look at the man I am now. Remember how it felt the other night when we were together. You can’t tell me we don’t work.
There’s a spark between us. It’s probably been simmering under the surface for years, but there’s never been a more perfect time for us, until now. ”
Her smile is sad when she looks down to where our fingers weave together and she brushes her thumb across my knuckles, sending sparks of electricity across my skin.
“I know you’re right. When you arrived back in my life after losing Scott, you gave me hope, and it was like you were here to save me.
I was happy with our friendship and I didn’t expect anything more.
Then you split up with Chelsea and something inside me switched.
I never expected to feel that way about you again, but I can’t deny it any longer. ”
My heart hammers against my chest. “So, what are you saying?”
Her eyes are so wide as they search mine. “I’m saying… I’m saying, given the chance, I could fall for you.”
I take her in my arms while my heart continues to thud. “Then take it, Angie. Take the chance.”
She breaks free of my hold. “It’s not that simple.”
“Then explain it to me.”
She looks away. “It’s Scott. He’s still in here,” she says, placing her hand over her heart.
Standing stock still, I search her face for guidance.
What the hell do I say? There’s no answer to this.
I can’t magically get her husband back to give his approval and, if he was here, this conversation wouldn’t be happening.
Angie would be with him, not me. I know how much she loved him and how much she still does.
I was prepared to be second best for her, but I’m not sure that’s good enough for either of us. I’m so fucking confused.
“What do you want me to say?” I ask.
“I don’t know, how about ‘don’t be stupid, Angie,’ or ‘Scott would be happy for you’.”
“All right. Don’t be stupid, Angie. Scott would be ha—”
She slaps her palm on my chest. “That’s not what I meant, you idiot, and you know it.” She smirks.
“Then help me. I don’t know what the fuck to do here. Maybe you should—”
I don’t get my last words out. Angie launches her beautiful body against mine, stands on her tiptoes, runs her hand to the back of my head, and pulls me forward. Our mouths lock, and during those few, lust-filled seconds, I couldn’t give a shit about anything else but loving her.