Chapter 37
Bex sat on the floor, her head between her knees, while Carrie gently rubbed her back, offering constant murmurs of reassurance.
She wasn’t sure how long she stayed there, just trying to keep herself breathing, but her breaths still hadn’t returned to normal when she heard one of the flight attendants speak.
‘We’re going to have to finish boarding now, madam.’
Were they talking to her? Of course they were; she was the one who needed to board that flight. Desperately. She struggled to lift her head, but Carrie answered.
‘It’s fine. She’ll be fine. I’ll stay here. Y’all can go without us.’
‘You don’t have to—’ Bex tried to protest, but Carrie shushed her softly.
‘It’s okay. We’re okay. We can just sit here a bit longer, sweetie.’
Later, when Bex had assured Carrie several times that she was able to stand and walk, they made their way out of departures, stopping at the security gates en route and discovering that yes, she had indeed left her small purse there in the bottom of the tray – it must’ve slipped out of her hand.
Only then did she realise she wasn’t the only one who had needed to get on that flight.
‘I’m sorry about you missing your spa trip,’ she said.
‘Don’t you worry yourself,’ Carrie replied instantly. ‘I’m just glad I was there. I didn’t know you had panic attacks, sweetie. How long have you been having them?’
‘Panic attacks?’ Bex shook her head. ‘No. That wasn’t a panic attack. I think it’s from the storm. Something wrong with my lungs. I was going to go to the doctor about it when I had time.’
Carrie raised her eyebrows. ‘Really? You know, that looked like a panic attack to me. Sweaty palms, pulse racing, can’t catch your breath. I’m reckoning it’s happened a few times, right? When your head gets away with you?’
Bex chewed on the inside of her cheek as she tried to remember when these incidents had started happening.
The first time she could recall was when Kieron had accosted her in her hotel room.
And sure, it had definitely been a stressful situation, but that didn’t mean it was a panic attack, did it?
And yet, from the weight that filled her stomach, she suspected Carrie might be right.
‘Well, let’s get you back home.’
Unbeknownst to Bex, while she had been there, sitting in the departures lounge, trying to catch her breath, Carrie messaged Keith to come and pick them up. As such, the car was waiting outside for them.
‘I’m sorry for causing so much fuss, really, I am. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.’
‘Why did you need to go back?’ Carrie asked. ‘I thought you were sticking around for a few days?’
Bex bit down on her bottom lip. Did she really want to tell them? No, but after what Carrie had just helped her through, they deserved the truth.
‘Kieron’s been spreading rumours to my bosses,’ she said. ‘Saying I’ve been embezzling funds. I need to go back, sort it out, make sure I don’t lose my job.’
‘What!’
‘That disgusting piece of crap,’ Keith growled from the front.
‘Yeah, I know,’ Bex agreed. ‘Though that disgusting piece of crap is also your relative.’
‘What?’
Maybe she should’ve waited for Duncan to spread the news.
But she couldn’t cope with everything she was holding in.
She didn’t have it in her to keep any more secrets.
After all, if these really were panic attacks she’d been experiencing, then there was a good chance it was linked to the stress of the last couple of weeks.
‘Yeah,’ Bex said. ‘He’s Duncan’s first cousin removed. It’s true, Fergus was Duncan’s grandfather.’
It was only afterwards that Bex realised that telling Keith about his son’s and first wife’s lineage while he was driving at seventy miles an hour down a dual carriageway probably hadn’t been the most sensible thing to do. But it was done now.
‘How’s he coping?’ Carrie asked. ‘Duncan, is he okay?’
A flutter of guilt flitted through Bex. ‘I’m not sure. I saw him this morning. We were together when he found out the news. And he was as okay as you could be. He said he needed some space, so… I was going to pop in and see him this evening, but then… well, you know what happened there.’
‘It’s disgusting,’ Carrie growled. ‘And not just Kieron, mind you. That company of yours. After all you’ve done for them, sacrificing your relationship as you fly here, there and everywhere. You’d think they’d show y’all a little more respect.’
Bex smiled. ‘That’s what Lorna said too.’
‘Well, yeah. I raised my lil’ girl right.’
Speaking of which, Bex remembered all the missed calls she’d had from Lorna while she’d been waiting to board.
There had been a message asking Bex to ring her when she landed, but she’d still not had her head on straight when she’d read it.
Now that she could finally think again, she picked up her phone and dialled her friend’s number.
‘Bex, thank God. Hold on. Aren’t you still meant to be on your flight now? What happened?’
‘It’s a long story.’ Bex’s stomach tightened as she expected more probing questions.
‘But you’re still in Scotland?’ Lorna said instead.
‘I am.’
‘Thank God.’ Lorna’s sigh rattled out the speakers. ‘Well, you need to get back here fast. As fast as possible.’
Tension gripped Bex’s ribs as a now familiar sensation began to take control. If it happened again, she was going to have a hard time convincing Carrie, or herself, that these weren’t panic attacks after all. Even now, the evidence was fairly damning.
She forced the air out of her lungs as she spoke. ‘What’s happened? Is it Duncan? Kieron?’
With her face crumpled in concern, Carrie reached into the back and squeezed her knee. Bex offered her a watery smile, but it was fleeting. She needed to focus on what Lorna was saying. Finally, her friend spoke again.
‘No, it’s not Duncan,’ Lorna said. ‘It’s not to do with any of that. It’s Ruby. You need to get back here for Ruby.’