20. Isabella
20
ISABELLA
T he shrill alarm blared into the room again, and Bella snoozed it. She had to be ready for work soon, and rushing first thing in the morning always made her head hurt.
Bella slowly blinked her dry eyes, trying to focus on the room she currently called home. Piece by piece, the reality she knew clicked into place.
She was staying with a new friend, but she was technically homeless.
She had a job, but not the one she’d held before her injury.
She hadn’t remembered more than a few key points of her life after graduating from high school.
She’d made a friend named Travis, but she would lose him soon if she hadn’t already.
She was pregnant, and she was more lost than ever.
Sitting up, she stretched her arms and legs before resting her feet on the floor. Anna had encouraged Bella to “pray without ceasing” ever since they met, and she’d finally taken the advice to heart. God was going to get really tired of hearing from her, but she found praying was the only thing that calmed her restless heart.
Dragging her feet to the bathroom that connected to her room, she stepped up to the mirror and turned on the faucet. She stuck her hands under the flowing water and let the cold shock her into wakefulness before rubbing the water over her face.
When she dried her face and opened her eyes, a woman she didn’t recognize looked back at her. Was this who she was now? Hollow cheeks, shadows beneath her eyes, and a pale color that left her looking sickly.
At best, she looked tired. At worst, she looked weak. She was both and nothing else.
She reached for the prenatal vitamin she’d been instructed to take and swallowed it with a gulp of water she drank from her hand. The bones in her shoulders were prominent, and the light-brown scar on her shoulder stood out against her white skin.
Running her fingertips over it, she remembered the night her dad had shoved her against a window. The thin glass shattered against her skin, embedding a shard an inch into her flesh.
The pain in her shoulder was difficult to remember, but her dad’s fury still burned white hot in her memory. He blamed her for the broken window, he’d hated her cries, and he’d refused to let her mom take her to get the gash stitched up.
The result was a bulging scar from a wound half-healed through the glue her mom had used to close it up.
It was another memory she’d been allowed to keep through all of this. Another reminder that she’d suffered but endured. Whatever her life had been like after leaving her parents’ house, it had to be better than what she’d grown up in.
Bella turned slightly and checked the scar she’d found on the back of her arm. It was longer than the other scar and healed much cleaner. She had no idea where it had come from, but it was too old to be from her recent injury. It was an artifact from her past that led to a dead end.
Would she ever find out where it came from? Did she even want to know? If it represented more abuse from her dad, she’d rather go on without knowing.
Even if she never remembered her past, would it be so bad to start over here in Blackwater? Could she make a new life here–one that would be good for her and her child?
Maybe losing her memories was God’s way of saving her and her unborn baby. Whatever His path for her might hold, she had to trust it.
Pushing aside all of the unanswered questions, she stepped into the hot shower and allowed the scalding water to wash away the doubt and dread.
Getting ready to work on a ranch didn’t require fancy clothing or a cute hairstyle, which was good because she had zero extra energy for making herself look nice. What she’d first thought was tiredness from her head injury now made sense. She was in the first trimester of a pregnancy, and not only was her body trying to heal, but it was also growing a tiny human.
The whole idea still seemed inconceivable. A living, breathing person started from a few small cells. The book Anna gave her about pregnancy and what to expect only magnified her fascination with the growth happening inside her.
The only way it made sense to her was to attribute the intricate and perfect creation to God. There was no other way she could make sense of it.
With her thrift store jeans and T-shirt and her hair pulled back into a ponytail, she picked up her phone and started for the kitchen. The blank screen left a gaping hole in her chest. Travis had called quite a few times, but she hadn’t worked up the courage to answer. She’d finally hit rock bottom last night, and Anna had offered to reach out to him to ask if Bella could get a ride to work.
She would have to face him soon. What would she say?
“Hi. Just in case you thought this situation wasn’t crazy enough, I’m pregnant. Oh, and I have no idea who the father is.”
He’d make a quick escape while suggesting she call Maury or Jerry Springer, and he had every right to cut his losses with her.
She wouldn’t ask anything of him. She wouldn’t inconvenience him any more than she already had. Anna said they could find other ways for her to get to and from work if she didn’t want to ride with Travis anymore.
“Bella!” Anna yelled from down the hallway.
“Coming!” Bella pushed her phone into her back pocket and hurried to the front of the cottage where Anna waited by the doorway. Travis’s broad shoulders filled the doorframe, surrounded by the bright morning light streaming in from behind him.
Bella slowed her steps as his gaze locked with hers. She still hadn’t figured out what to say to him, but she was out of time. The air in her lungs solidified, sitting heavy in her chest.
“You okay?” Anna asked.
She’d been asking that same question over and over, but Bella couldn’t answer with the truth–that she was crumbling and broken inside this lifeless shell.
“I’m fine.” Bella turned to Travis and gave him a weak smile. “Hey. Thanks for coming.”
Travis nodded and adjusted the baseball cap on his head. “Anytime.”
Anna clapped her hands together and turned her joyful smile on each of them. “Great. I’m off to the firm. Call me if you need me.” She whipped around to Travis, pointing a finger in his face. “Not you. You have no moderation, and I’ve had enough phone calls from you to last the rest of our friendship.”
Travis grinned and rubbed a hand over the back of his neck. Even scolded like a child, he was adorable.
Anna brushed past Travis, leaving Bella alone with him. Linking her hands behind her back, Bella looked up at him. “Are you ready to go?”
Travis stepped out of the way and gestured for her to lead. When she got to his truck, he opened the passenger door for her.
Why did he have to be so sweet? It made putting distance between them so much harder.
He settled into the driver’s seat and headed for the main road. “You hungry?”
“No, thanks.” The words were out of her mouth before she remembered the doctor’s speech about eating regular meals for the health of the baby. “Actually, I’d like something if you’re stopping to get food.”
“Sticky Sweets?” he asked.
“That would be great.”
Neither of them spoke until Travis parked in front of the small bakery in the heart of town. It was a miracle they’d gotten a spot right by the door. Bella had only been in Blackwater for a month, but the tourist crowds were growing by the day.
Inside, they were greeted by the warm smell of sugar and spices. Bella stepped into the line in front of the register, and Travis stood strong and sturdy by her side.
If only she had a small bit of the strength he carried. Travis was the kind of man who looked like he could withstand a falling tree or a speeding train and do it all without making a fuss. He was the epitome of confidence–something she didn’t have.
The young girl at the register lit up when she saw Bella. “Hey, you’re the woman who lost her memory, right?”
“Yeah, I guess that’s me. I’m Bella Young.”
“Casey. Nice to meet you. How are you feeling?”
The sincere question from a complete stranger caught her a little off guard. Casey was taking the time to ask about her even with the line piling up behind them. “I’m actually doing okay. Thanks for asking.”
“My grandma goes to the church you've been going to, and she told me about you. I can’t imagine what you’re going through right now.”
Okay, the hormones were doing their job because moisture welled in Bella’s eyes. “Thanks so much.”
When they ordered and stepped to the side with their cups of coffee, she half expected Travis to ask why she’d ordered decaf, but he continued on without question. In fact, he didn’t pay her much attention.
Maybe that was a good thing. She’d been avoiding him lately, hoping he’d get the hint and give up on her, but actually watching him pull away tore at her insides.
She took the opportunity without Travis’s gaze on her to scan the tables. Smiling faces were everywhere. Why did she feel so far from the happiness that others seemed to have in spades?
“Travis!”
Tracy, the owner, handed Travis a bag over the counter and winked at Bella. “You two have a good day.”
“You too,” Travis said as he placed his large hand on Bella’s back, gently guiding her around the customers who’d congregated by the pick-up station.
The warmth of his hand pressing against her back and the way he shielded her with his body made all of her tense muscles relax. If she spent every day by his side, she’d never worry about another thing for the rest of her life.
But nothing was simple, and he didn’t know half of the destruction she could bring.
Back on the sidewalk, they dodged some tourists talking loudly about riding horses at Wolf Creek Ranch, but Travis made sure to maneuver her out of the way of a few people who weren’t paying attention.
Inside the safety of his truck, he handed her the bag with their breakfast sandwiches in it. “You okay to eat on the road?”
Bella nodded. “You want yours?” she asked.
“I’ll eat when we get there,” Travis said as he merged back into the street.
Bella held the bag tightly in her hands. “Do you mind if I pray for the food?”
“Of course not. Go ahead.”
Bella bowed her head and asked God to bless the meal. She also thanked Him for sending Travis and Anna, as well as the job the Bensons gave her.
When she finished, she opened the wrapper around her breakfast sandwich and took the first bite. Sticky Sweets was becoming her new favorite place.
Travis cleared his throat and kept watching the road straight ahead. “So, I heard you tell the girl back there that you were doing okay. Did the doctor give you a good report?”
This was it. Now was the time to tell him, but her throat tightened, and a cold sweat broke out on her back. Resting the sandwich on her lap, she pushed the light jacket off her shoulders. Why was it suddenly scorching in here?
When she pulled off the coat and tucked it on the seat beside her, his gaze drifted over to her, catching quickly on the scar on her shoulder before turning slowly back to the road. “How’d you get that scar?”
Bless him. He thought he was letting her off the hook from answering his first question, but he’d just stepped into another long story that he wouldn’t like hearing.
“My dad.”