Chapter 21
There are plenty of things to dislike about corporate company bullshit, like inspirational All Hands meetings, appreciation pizza parties instead of raises, and the word “synergy” as a whole.
But it’s hard to dislike the open bars at the swanky quarterly parties Skroll throws for the employees. Tonight’s “Skroll into Spring” mixer is going to be held at an uppity rooftop bar and boasts everything from said open bars to a photo booth and the chance to win “exciting prizes” that are not raises either.
It was a Skroll party that started my entire relationship with Cade. Clearly, Skroll parties do not lead to good life choices.
I can tell tonight is going to be different. I spent years needing to be seen, trying to grab whatever pockets of spotlight I could, but tonight, I know I have the chance to bask in it.
In the wake of our appearance at CON-Spiracy, we saw a small bump that we expected to plateau, but our numbers kept growing. Our backlist saw plenty of action, too. Our comment sections fill up minutes after posting a video, our social media posts garner everything from “omg” to “stop” to “I ship this so hard.” The fandom is still torn on what our ship name is, but “Haylie” tends to win out and seems to fit better in a weird white lady’s pregnancy announcement or what someone incorrectly shouts when my Starbucks order is ready.
If Skroll were to pick a winner right now, we’d be full speed ahead on planning season two.
“So, I know you didn’t ask, but that is why I have Zak Bagans blocked on all forms of social media.” Hayden concludes the tangent I indeed did not ask for as he runs his fingers through his hair. We’re crammed in his tiny bathroom together and the air smells like hairspray, heat-damaged hair, and a more expensive, sharp, citrusy musk of his cologne he only whips out for “special occasions.”
“…Right.” I’ve lowered my mascara wand for the time being to lessen the chances of an eye-makeup catastrophe in the middle of his tirade. “Well, you showed him, I guess.”
Hayden meets my eyes in the mirror and his track down my body, taking in my outfit for the evening. There’s so much joy in the fact that Hayden likes me in whatever I wear, but I also like the look of hunger in his eyes as he studies the off-the-shoulders blue dress I have on.
The only thing that’d feel better than his gaze would be his hands all over me.
“What?” I tease. “I look good or something?”
“I don’t hate it, that’s for sure.” I feel his voice against my bare shoulders with the brush of scruff along my skin. Then he finishes with his lips. I lean into him, the satin of my dress meeting the sharp crinkle of his black button-down. The sleeves are rolled to the center of his forearms. The Not Deer on his arm crosses in front of me, claiming me as his.
“You’re going to mess up my hair and makeup,” I whisper as his lips climb to the side of my neck.
“I think as Skroll’s hottest show at the moment, we can afford to be a few minutes late.” His voice comes out near a growl, so low it hooks something in my stomach and has me pushing him toward the door and into his room.
I fall onto his comforter, enveloped in the taste, smell, and feel of him as his lips catch mine. Our kisses taste like fresh-brushed teeth and fruity lip gloss and each one is the best kind of drowning—little room to come up for air before I’m tasting him again and dying for the soft, heady moans that come from the back of his throat.
Hayden’s hand grips my thigh, teasing under the hem of my dress. He works his way down my legs, sliding his fingers behind my knee and hooking my leg around his body. Every intimate moment with Hayden is a “eureka” in itself. When he kisses me, I realize this is how it should be. With each laugh and giggle when someone elbows the other, I know that I don’t need to impress him, because it’s me he wants. It’s him I always want, too. This is what everyone talks about and yearns for.
“And if we do get in trouble,” he breathes against the curve of my neck, “I’m blaming you.”
“Uh, rude,” I laugh, smacking his shoulder.
“ You’re the rude one for looking as beautiful as you do.”
“And you’re not half-bad either,” I tell him. He does look good and I think he knows it. It’s amazing what a little hairspray can do for a man. His dark waves are fluffed higher, usually how his hair looks after some mild to moderate sexual activity, and he’s kept his beard trimmed into a strategic five-o’clock shadow. I kiss him one final time before sliding from beneath him. I put the finishing touches on my look while he feeds Cthulhu and hails an Uber to the bar.
The rooftop bar is decorated with lined plants and globe lights stroking against the night sky. Skroll has infiltrated the bar with pop-up photo spots and gimmicky props. There’s an open bar at every corner, and we hit the nearest one. Funky indie beats blast over the city above the hum of cars stuck in traffic. Typical LA.
Across the rooftop, Nora and Jamie have stationed themselves in the photo booth, her propping a fedora on his head as he lovingly drapes a neon pink boa over her shoulders. It’s hard to read Jamie sometimes, with his quiet stares and deliberately chosen words, but around Nora, he’s an open book. Happy, vibrant, like she’s unlocked the box full of all of the things he tries to keep under wraps.
Drinks in hand, Hayden and I decide how we want to tackle this. He doesn’t know many people, and Skroll has never been a firm nine-to-five-type office, so I see most people in passing. But the truest shock is the way we don’t even get to pick who we talk to first, because there’s a line of people who want to talk to us . Other producers I’ve worked with over the years express admiration for how well I’ve transitioned from behind to in front of the camera, and everyone wants to meet Hayden.
It’s how I discover that many of my coworkers are closet Cosmic Conspiracies fans, who have relatives who did camping trips to hunt for Bigfoot, too, who visited Roswell and claim to have seen a UFO before.
It doesn’t take long for Chloe to push through the crowd to reach us. She meets me with a hug and pats Hayden lovingly on the cheek, as if she’s known him for years. Clearly, she’s had a three-martini happy hour already.
“Well, look at you guys,” she says. I’m suddenly so aware of Hayden’s fingers woven between mine. It’s where Chloe’s eyes go too. “I can’t say I saw this when you pitched me a show about hunting for ghosts.”
I wonder if she means our success or the blossoming relationship between us.
“Neither did we,” Hayden agrees. “We may not have found Bigfoot yet, but…I think we’ve found something good.”
Chloe softens. “There’s a reason your show is doing so well. It’s because the two of you…have something. I don’t know what it is, but there’s something magnetic about your chemistry. I think there’s a lot of people wanting to see you two succeed. Oh—Champ!”
“Oh, this guy coming? You need to call him Champ,” I whisper to Hayden.
Hayden’s eyes widen, then narrow. “You mean like the lake monster?”
“No, absolutely not like the lake monster.”
I stiffen as she ushers Champ Kevin over to our group. He hardly comes up to Hayden’s shoulders and he’s dressed like he’s trying to be cool—trendy skinny jeans, a white T-shirt, and a leather jacket, holding a can of hard kombucha. But it doesn’t matter. I’ll tell him he looks good anyway.
“Champ, you of course know Hallie,” Chloe says. Kevin offers me a half hug and a kiss on the cheek, telling me I look wonderful. “And her new partner, Hayden.”
“Ah, the real Man in Black himself.” They exchange an unbalanced, manly handshake. “Huge fan of your father’s work, too. It was a huge loss when he passed.”
Hayden bristles beside me.
“And I’m obviously sorry for your loss as well.”
“Thank you,” Hayden says. “I like to think he’d be proud of what we’ve been doing these past few months. The ghosts and monsters were always his thing.”
“You know, I liked the idea when Hallie first pitched it, but I wasn’t entirely certain how people would respond to it. It turns out people really do like this sort of content. I never would have guessed.”
“I never would have expected I’d be so happy hunting for Bigfoot, either,” I add.
“So…it’s really not an act?” Kevin asks me. “Like, you really don’t believe any of this?”
“It is absolutely not an act,” Hayden says, sipping his drink.
“Champ, I promise you, I am not nearly that good of an actress.” He lets out what I think can only be described as a snicker. It’s weird and makes Hayden let out a nervous laugh because he’s not sure how to respond either. But a snicker from Kevin is a good sign. Hell yes for snickers.
“And to think we were hiding you behind the camera that whole time.” He crosses his arms and his eyes are wide in bewilderment. “I know you were so busy helping Cade out all those years, but—”
Kevin should consider a career in demon summoning, because just as he says the name, Cade exits the elevator with Skroll’s new social media manager on his arm. She can’t be more than twenty-three to his thirty, with full lips, a tiny waist, and a killer pair of hips. She looks like she came right out of a sponsored Instagram picture. Someone as gorgeous as her could have anyone she wanted. My stomach clenches. I feel like I should have warned her about what a monster he is.
Immediately, this asshole spots Kevin and infiltrates our conversation. I reach for Hayden’s hand as Cade approaches us. Hayden’s fingers curl around mine in a way that tells me nothing can hurt me. I love the safety he offers, but I know I’m strong enough to hold the net up myself. Cade is only a monster to me if I let him in my closet, under my bed.
“ Chaaaaamp ,” Cade coos at Kevin. They embrace in a garishly corny hug with large backslaps, for some goddamn reason. “Good to see you, my man.”
As if they don’t see each other several times a week in the office.
“And you too, Chloe.”
“Cade,” Chloe acknowledges, but she acknowledges her gin and tonic even more after the fact.
Cade turns back to his date. “Babe, grab me a vodka soda, please.”
His date looks ready to say something or enter the conversation, but when Cade’s eyes narrow with a sickly-sweet glare I know so well, she backs away and waits in line at the bar.
“We know you know Hallie,” Kevin says.
“A little too well,” Cade says, nudging Kevin’s arm. “I’m just kidding. I’ve met her new partner, too.”
“We were actually just talking about you.”
“Oh, really? What about?”
“Well, really, about Hallie, actually.” Kevin course corrects and Cade deflates, the life fading from his sparkling eyes. “We were talking about how she was working with you for so long, but was never really the star of the show, you know? She’d pop up here and there, but she was never center stage and I can’t believe it. We had a star on our hands this whole time, and never knew!”
Kevin talks about me like he’s discovered gold in them there Hollywood Hills and Cade’s nothing more than another dull rock. I know the look of rage in his eyes—a calm facade, the eye of the storm before whipping winds wreak havoc. He won’t cause a scene here, at least.
“It’s true. I mean, Chloe,” Hayden starts, “you remember how that first episode went. I was wooden as hell until Hallie stepped in. The Out There would have been canceled after like ten seconds—”
“Oh, come on!” I say. “I knew you had something magic in you, too. I didn’t pick you out from Cosmic Conspiracies for no reason. You being astonishingly pretty was only seventy-five percent of the rationale.”
“Yeah, I sure misled you on the acting part. That first episode was abysmal.”
“Oh, that isn’t true,” Chloe says, then reconsiders. “Okay, that first episode was rough.”
“ So rough,” Hayden replies. He glances over at Cade. “It totally explains how you got the platform you did, Cade. She’s brilliant on-camera or off-camera, so I can’t imagine how lucky you’d be to have her guiding you to stardom all those years.”
My god, he’s gone right for the jugular. I try not to smile, but the pride I feel is ready to burst out. Hayden might be right. The reason Cade has what he does is because of me. He was just the pretty topping to it all, but none of the ingredients.
Cade bites down on his lip, eventually settling on a resigned, tight smile. “Of course. All thanks to Hallie, no doubt.”
I lean in closer to Hayden, his hand slipping back to my hip, visible so Cade can see his hands on me. His lips meet the side of my head and my fear about being spotted with him and flashing our relationship out in the open dissipates as Chloe coos and Kevin looks as happy as a weird little clam.
“I have to tell you,” Kevin begins, “it is so inspiring that you and Cade have maintained such a strong professional relationship and that stunning careers like yours have all bloomed at Skroll. That’s what Skroll is all about.”
No, Skroll is about clickbait and sponsorships.
“And I’m so happy to see our two exceptional shows here tonight. Obviously, every show in the program is spectacular, but the numbers we’re seeing from both Noobie Brothers and The Out There are fantastic. It’s going to be hard to choose just one.”
“I don’t envy you,” Cade adds. “You’ve got a tough decision to make, but it’s a testament to how skilled you are at finding superb talent, Champ. I mean it.”
My stomach churns hearing him kiss Kevin’s ass like this. He won’t hurt Kevin like he’d hurt me, like he’s probably bullying poor Madi now to get extra posts on Skroll’s socials, but it sucks to see another person falling into his web. There is no person Cade doesn’t view as potential prey to feed his ego.
“We’re looking forward to the rest of the seasons, though,” Kevin finishes, raising a glass. “And we’ll see where these shows go.”
We clink glasses in the middle and Cade’s eyes wander over to me. I want to tell him I know what his game is and no matter what he does, Hayden and I are going to beat him. I stand up tall and even as he tries to strip down my defenses with his glares, I don’t let him claim a victory over me.
He isn’t going to beat our show, either.
“Champ, if you don’t mind,” Cade interrupts, “I have something timely I’d love to have a word about.”
Kevin, like the obedient puppy he is, agrees. Chloe’s quickly whisked away and, once we’re alone again, I let out a deep breath. Hayden rubs the small of my back and takes a long sip of his drink.
“We’re going to crush that asshole,” is all he says, his inner Angry Boston Man coming out to the party. I clutch a handful of his shirt and step closer, standing on my toes to reach his lips.
“Oh, you know it,” I say with a kiss.
We schmooze our way through the party and our popularity doesn’t wane. As more coworkers arrive and more drinks get flowing, it seems like maybe we should set up an autograph table or something. People who flocked to Cade at every other party give him a passing wave on their way to us.
We take a few photos in one of the photo booths with Nora and Jamie, and I imagine the strip going up on the corkboard beside Hayden’s bed.
When Hayden and I part so he can use the bathroom, I form an alliance with the food table and the last coconut shrimp and am actually a little grateful to take a break. We’ve been so busy being the talk of the party that I missed all the mini spring rolls being paraded around, dammit.
“I’d watch out, if I were you.” A chill runs up my back. “Your dress is already looking tight.”
Cade’s touch runs along the curve of my hip before he circles around me and leans against the table. I’m suddenly glad I haven’t had much chance to eat, because I might be sick, but instead of allowing Cade a win, I suck in a breath and turn to him.
“Do you really want your new girlfriend to see you touching some other girl?”
He chuckles and mischief brims in his eyes. “Somehow, I think she’ll be okay with it, like you were years ago. I hope she stays a nice girl. You sure didn’t.”
“She’s pretty. Out of your league.”
“So I should be with someone more like you? Average?” When I don’t have a response, he drops the joking act and steps closer to me. “I know what you’re up to, Hallie. This game you two are playing—”
“What game, Cade? The one where I beat you in this program fair and square? Is that what you’re so scared of? Is that why you lash out every time I get a win over you?” I step closer to him. Since I’m in my heels, our eyes are nearly even. There is no big and small now. Cade doesn’t know what to do when he can’t punch down. “Are you terrified that everyone will find out it was me making you look good all those years? That you have little to stand on without me, and your talent’s running out?”
“Do you have anything to stand on aside from spreading your legs for every—?”
Cade quiets as Hayden’s arms slip around my back again.
“Cade,” he says. His voice is icy and sharp as a knife. He’s shed the easygoing, charismatic host persona he’s been carrying so well all night. Now, this is someone who knows the worst things Cade’s done to me and brushes the lies Cade tells about me off as easily as I brush off his wackiest theories.
“Hallie and I were catching up.” Cade takes a step closer to me. Before his hand can rise to toy with one of my curls, Hayden’s hand shoots out, clutching Cade’s wrist.
“Did Hallie say you could touch her?”
Cade holds his hands up in surrender and laughs. “Damn, you’re awfully protective of a girl who is only using you to beat me. You do know that, right? She doesn’t actually care about your show and she probably doesn’t care about you either. She won’t if you two don’t win the program.” I still and watch Hayden’s eyes darken as Cade continues.
“I warned you, dude,” Cade continues. “Hallie’s a tough one to work with. A tough one to love. Being with her…it’s a bad choice, man.”
I can’t break my composure now, no matter how badly I want to. Tough to love sounds so much worse than tough to work with. Tough to work with means the unbearable parts of me can go off duty. But…tough to love…
“I think I can make my own bad choices, thank you very much,” Hayden says. “So far, the only bad choice I’ve made is starting a conversation with you.”
“I’m just trying to temper your expectations. One day, she’ll leave you just like she did to me. She’ll find another ladder to climb at Skroll and start fresh.” Hayden’s entire body radiates heat and anger. His fingers tighten around the fabric at my hip. “When you can’t deliver her a win, trust me, she’ll be over fucking the conspiracy theorist she found on Reddit real fast.”
Hayden finishes his drink and sets the glass on the table with a harsh thump. “You can say whatever you’d like about me. I’ve heard it all already, and I don’t lose sleep over the opinions of a thirty-year-old frat boy. But you leave her out of it…”
I’ve never heard his voice slip this deep before. There’s no lovable sleepy rasp from late nights recording or researching, or the lazy mornings where we stay in bed too long. It’s deliberate and chilling in a way that makes Cade blink faster and take notice of how much larger Hayden is. If one of them were to throw punches, I know who I’d have my money on.
“I could grab another drink, sit around, and tell you how much I care for Hallie—how special she is—and what an idiot you are for mistreating her. But you wouldn’t listen, so I’m not going to waste my breath. I can’t believe I already have.” Hayden slips me behind him, creating a barrier between Cade and me. “If I hear of you trying to hurt her and, so help me God, if you ever lay a hand on her—”
“What?” Cade chuckles. “What’ll you do? Skroll’s still pissed about Eric’s legal trouble. Wouldn’t want either of us getting canceled over something silly. Are you really going to get your show canceled over her? Trust me. She isn’t worth it.”
“Hayden,” I interrupt. “He’s right.”
We are too close to fuck this up, way too close, no matter how much I want to see Hayden punch Cade. The only thing worse than losing to Cade is losing to Cade over something stupid.
Finally, the tension breaks, and Hayden steps away from Cade. I usher him out of the confrontation, but he quickly jerks back toward Cade.
“Oh, and just so you know…Madi? Your date? I let her know if she’s looking for someone who knows how to satisfy a woman, she might want to look elsewhere.” He slips his arm around my back. “You know, I’m just trying to temper her expectations. Come on, Hallie. I have some ideas about season two I want to run by you.”
Cade seethes, drops his glass on the appetizer table, and skims the party for Madi, who evidently isn’t here anymore, and for a moment I think Hayden might have actually told Madi he’s terrible in bed. I can’t imagine what kind of open bar conversation that was.
“If that’s how you’re going to be,” Cade says. Then he backs away and heads for the elevator. I cling to Hayden until he’s gone and we both let out a sigh of relief before he turns to me.
“Are you okay?” He cups the sides of my face. He’s surveying every micro-expression to figure out where his help is needed. It’s like he’ll never understand that his presence alone helps more than he’ll ever know.
“I’m fine.”
“Are you sure?”
I nod. I feel the way I always do after standing up to Cade, the equal parts adrenaline and fear of what he’ll do to get back at me. But there’s nothing he can do. Hayden and I have Skroll’s biggest show and everyone at this party swarmed to us like Mothmen to a flame. As new as it felt to bask in my well-deserved admiration, it felt all the easier to do it with Hayden at my side. And even if I’m scared to say it, scared to feel it, I am falling in love with Hayden, too.
I’m falling deeper and deeper into his confidence and bravery, his unwavering support and care. I’m falling for all of it and I reason that it’s far better than falling for the conspiracy theory that birds aren’t real (which he tried to explain three days ago by showing me a Vine, of all things).
“I’m good. I promise.” It’s not a lie, not at all, but Hayden watches me for a long, quiet moment, stroking the curve of my cheek. There’s still anger in his eyes and a soft shake to his fingers, and it makes me wonder how I could ever question his loyalty or affection for me. He’s so quickly brought to his knees at the mere idea of someone hurting me. I shift topics so he knows I’m okay. “Did you really tell Cade’s date that he’s bad in bed?”
Hayden’s steady face breaks into a proud smirk. “Sure did.”
“Really?”
“The opportunity was right there.” He wraps his arms around my waist, pressing a kiss to my forehead. “I had to take it.”
The Out There
Episode #8: “The Kokomo from Hell”
Don’t be fooled by the beautiful sandy beaches and vibrant sunsets, folks. Hayden and Hallie dig into the mysterious history of the Bermuda Triangle, from ship and aircraft disappearances to the rumors that the Lost City of Atlantis lies deep beneath the waves. This was not what The Beach Boys were singing about.
HALLIE
I guess going to Bermuda is out of the question. I was going to suggest it for an end-of-season trip, but…
HAYDEN
Absolutely not. When I was a kid, my parents tried to do something nice and take me to Disney World and, at first, I didn’t want to go because I knew part of the Bermuda Triangle touched Florida.
HALLIE
So you’ve never been to Disney World?
HAYDEN
No, I have. They showed me a map and that it was a different part of Florida, so we went. I had a great time, but then my mom yelled at my dad for telling me about the Bermuda Triangle and freaking me out and traumatizing me. I’d read about it in a book, and didn’t learn about it from him, but alas. Maybe I should have known divorce was in the cards.
HALLIE
Were you really that traumatized by the Bermuda Triangle?
HAYDEN
To be fair, I thought I would have to deal with it a lot more in my adult life than I have. It doesn’t occupy my thoughts that often.
HALLIE
Oh good. I was worried.
HAYDEN
No, you were not. Wait, what are you doing?
HALLIE
Looking up all-inclusive resorts in Bermuda.
HAYDEN
No!
HALLIE
Look at it. It looks so pretty. Why can’t we go?
HAYDEN
That’s how they get you. They show you a pretty resort where you can get drinks with umbrellas in them, and then you die.
HALLIE
Damn, I had no idea the Bermuda Triangle has a master’s in marketing.