Chapter 10 #3
I stirred under the bedsheets, lay there for a few more seconds, and when I felt myself drifting back to sleep, I got up.
Halimi had already taken Lily to preschool and was now in the living room, talking on the phone.
By the time I’d finished breakfast, I found myself gazing out lazily at the horizon and seashore.
Somewhere in the background, Halimi continued his phone calls, pacing around the living room. Finally, he came outside for a smoke.
“What did you do to me last night, you little pervert?” he winked at me. I pulled myself together and smiled at him. “What did you do to me?” I retorted. It had been a long time since we’d had such good sex.
“Should we thank the flamingos in their salt pools?” he asked.
“Possibly,” I said. “Probably.”
Halimi didn’t respond. He just kept staring at me.
“Maybe you think it’s funny,” I said cautiously, “but it could just be that my need to get off the grid actually brushed off the mildew. For months now, I’ve either been at home or running errands.
Permanently on assignment. I’ve forgotten how great it is to let go and just be.
” Halimi nodded slowly, as if I’d just proven a point he’d been trying to explain.
“It’s not exactly the same thing,” I said, guessing where his thoughts were headed.
“What isn’t exactly the same?” Halimi asked, extinguishing his cigarette.
I glanced at the kitchen clock. “Let’s not get into that right now, Limi,” I said. “I’ve got to go to the copy center to print out this French text; otherwise, I’m never going to finish it. Let’s talk about it later.”
Halimi pushed the ashtray aside. “Okay, my love,” he said, his hand already reaching out for his phone. “But this time, come straight back.”
“I promise,” I said and went off to look for the car keys.
An hour later, I was sitting on the balcony again, gazing at the horizon. “Diti,” Halimi said so loudly it made me jump. The pages of the French text, printed and spiral-bound, were flapping in the light breeze.
“What? Sorry,” I said mechanically, realizing it was the third or fourth time he’d called my name.
“You’ve gotten annoying,” Halimi said, not at all angry. “Do you want coffee?”
“No thanks,” I answered, checking the time.
I had to start getting lunch ready, and soon Lily needed to be picked up from preschool.
I might have completed the important mission of printing out the manuscript but hadn’t so much as glanced at it since I got back.
I’d done nothing but stare into space for the past hour, oblivious to the passing time.
“Oh no!” I jumped up suddenly. “Lily has her appointment!” We went to pick her up together and continued straight there.
She was due for her last in a round of vaccines.
I always struggled with holding Lily firmly enough that she wouldn’t squirm when the needle went in, which embarrassed me.
I could have sent Halimi on his own—he was very dependable with this kind of thing—but I wanted to be there to hug and kiss Lily when she got the jab and burst out crying. And to prove I wasn’t lazy.
Lily did great. To my relief, she was unfazed by the sight of the needle, and by the time she had worked out that it was going to hurt, the whole thing was over.
We went out for ice cream, but the strip mall depressed me, so we grabbed a bunch of napkins and got back into the car and drove to the beach, humming a Beyoncé song playing on the radio.
We parked on the sand, not far from the army base, and walked barefoot to the beach. It was a Tuesday afternoon. During the week, the beach was usually empty, though never completely deserted. We sat on the sand, Lily between Halimi’s legs, carefully polishing off her dripping cone.
When she was done, Lily went to play in the waves.
Her tights and shirt got soaked, but the weather was warm, so I just undressed her.
I lay in the sand, the back of my neck against Halimi’s thigh.
The fortress ruins rose up in front of me, and for the first time it occurred to me how little I really knew about the place.
I wondered whether I might find something online about Jean d’Ibelin or even Thibaut, if I dug deep enough.
I also wondered why it had never occurred to me to look him up before.
I imagined myself Googling Jean’s name and was overcome by laughter.
“What’s so funny?” Halimi asked. He was also lying on the sand, his arms folded behind his head.
“I remembered a funny line from that French novel, but it’s not that funny out of context,” I said dismissively. “It’s just nonsense.”
“Most of our lives are nonsense,” Halimi reflected after a few seconds. I sat up, locating Lily a few feet away, stroking a small dog belonging to a white-haired man. I went to fetch her, and we strolled back to the shoreline, our feet sinking deep in the wet sand.
We sat down by Halimi, Lily cuddled up to me, trembling slightly from the cold.
I rubbed her arms and tried to wrap myself around her as best I could.
A young couple walked by, and the girl gave us a look that said, “What an adorable family.” Lily flashed the girl one of her best smiles and then buried her head in my chest, suddenly shy.
“Are we done here?” Halimi asked. “Lily’s getting cold.”