Chapter 26
TWENTY-SIX
PRESENT DAY
As soon as Jane walked into Helen Andino’s home, she was surrounded by memories. The furniture had changed since she’d last set foot in the house, the shabby well-loved couch replaced by a newer, less sagging model, a coat of paint in pale cream on the walls. But the layout was exactly the same, and even with the scent of Christmas dinner roasting in the oven, Jane could still detect a faint hint of vanilla from Helen’s baking.
Nik strode down the hall with a smile. And that was familiar, too, the way his eyes used to light up when he swung the door open and found her standing on the welcome mat. She stepped inside and he reached for her, a quick hug to say hello and merry Christmas, and a spark ignited the moment her body pressed against his. She stepped back, just an inch, but couldn’t bring herself to move farther away. And, for a split second, it was just her and Nik in that familiar living room, the two of them on the couch under the window sharing a pair of headphones, the cord so short their shoulders bumped when they leaned in to choose another song from Nik’s old iPhone.
Behind her, Jane felt Mom and Scarlett step inside the house, and she quickly turned away to help Scarlett with her shoes. They made their way farther into the living room, and as Jane crossed in front of the fireplace, she realized the photos over the mantel were the same as she remembered, too. They were a timeline of Nik growing older: as a baby, a toddler, then a little boy. Jane was in some of those photos, the two of them grubby from playing in the creek behind the house, covered in flour after a failed attempt at baking brownies in Helen’s kitchen.
Did elementary-aged Nik resemble Scarlett in those old photos? And would anyone else notice? Jane wanted to examine each one, hold it up next to Scarlett to scan for similarities.
“Hello! Welcome!” called a voice from behind her, and Jane spun around to find Mrs. Andino wiping her hands on the apron tied around her midsection as she made her way from the kitchen. Her wide smile swept around the room until it settled on Scarlett. “Oh…this must be Scarlett.” Was it Jane’s imagination that Mrs. Andino froze for just a moment when her gaze landed on Scarlett’s face? Or was she just being paranoid?
“Yes, this is my granddaughter,” Mom said proudly, sliding an arm around the girl’s shoulder.
Was Scarlett Mrs. Andino’s granddaughter, too? Jane was starting to spiral now.
“Hi,” Scarlett said shyly, clutching Mom’s arm.
“It’s very nice to meet you.” Mrs. Andino blinked down at Scarlett, and something Jane couldn’t identify momentarily crossed her features. “Did you know I’ve known your mom since she was even younger than you?” She plucked one of the photos off the mantel. “See? You look just like her.” Mrs. Andino held up the image of Nik and Jane with their arms wrapped around each other, and Jane held her breath.
She finally exhaled when Mrs. Andino set the photo back on the mantel and turned to Jane, a welcoming smile on her face. “I’m so glad you could make it.” She crossed the room to wrap Jane in her familiar vanilla-scented embrace. “What a delight to get to see you twice in one week.”
Jane did her best to shake off her worries over Scarlett’s paternity. She didn’t know that Nik was Scarlett’s father. In fact, he probably wasn’t. But the more time she spent thinking about it, the more she wanted it to be true. Maybe a little part of her had been hoping that Mrs. Andino would grab that photo from the mantel and declare Scarlett a carbon copy of Nik. But the older woman was already making her way to the front door to swing it open for her next guests.
Hannah stood on the doorstep, stamping the snow from her boots and ushering Amelia inside. “Hi, everyone,” she said buoyantly, giving a wave as she tugged at the scarf around her neck. A tall, lanky man with blond hair and a wide grin followed close behind.
“You’re not at your parents’ today?” Jane asked around Hannah’s wild hair as her friend threw her arms around her. Had something happened to Hannah’s parents? She’d missed so much.
Thankfully, Hannah stepped back and gave her a wry grin. “My parents take a cruise in the Caribbean over the holidays. We come to Helen’s every year now. It’s tradition.” She tugged the man closer. “Ed, this is my old friend Jane.”
Jane held out a palm. “It’s so nice to meet you.”
Ed bypassed her hand and reached out to give her a hug, his eyes sparkling with warmth. “Hannah has told me so many stories about you all as kids. I’m glad to finally meet you, Jane.”
Jane liked him immediately, and she felt her chest expand with hope that her friend had been lucky to meet a good man. He’d probably heard that Jane had run off without a word. Still, he welcomed her without hesitation.
“I heard you’re a police officer,” Jane said.
“I am, yeah. I knew your dad.” He avoided her gaze. “Sorry for your loss.” He cleared his throat like he’d had to force that last part out, and something about his tone gave Jane the feeling he was saying it more out of obligation than genuine feeling.
When Jane was growing up, all the officers on the police force seemed to be part of an old boys’ club, and Dad was their leader. He could do no wrong in their eyes. Jane remembered the officer who’d come when Mom had called 911. How he’d stood awkwardly in front of the house, backing away slowly while Mom cried. But Ed seemed uncomfortable with this conversation, almost like he hadn’t been a fan of Dad. Maybe in his later years, Dad’s cracks had started to show on the surface.
The front door swung open again, and this time it was Ali on the welcome mat, in a black dress under her elegant black coat. Next to her stood a tall, dark-haired woman in equally stylish attire. It was obvious they were a couple by the way the woman held on to Ali’s arm as she stepped into the house.
Jane felt a burst of happiness for her friend. Ali had come out to their group in high school, but she’d kept it a secret from her parents and everyone else. Linden Falls was a small town, and Ali had worried about people accepting her. But Ali was clearly out now, and Jane suspected that most people in town were just fine with it. She thought about Dad terrorizing Kait at the autobody shop, and then looked over to see Ed giving Ali and the other woman a warm greeting. Maybe this town really had changed.
In a bustle of hugs and casserole dishes being handed over, Jane somehow ended up standing across from Ali and her companion.
“Hi, Ali,” Jane said. “It’s good to see you again.”
“Jane. Hey.” Ali looked vaguely uncomfortable, but her eyes didn’t radiate the same anger from the other night. “This is my wife, Lexi.”
“It’s so nice to finally meet you,” Lexi said, warmly.
“It’s so nice to finally meet you, too,” Jane said, her lips tugging as she remembered back to their dramatic teenage conversations when Ali used to lament that she’d be single forever because she was never going to meet a girl in this town. Jane’s eyes met Ali’s, who seemed to be holding back a hint of a smile, too. Maybe she was looking back on the same moments.
At that moment, Scarlett came running over. “Mommy, can I have the Legos we brought? Mrs. Andino said Amelia and I can go upstairs and play in the guest room.”
“Whoa, you have a kid?” Ali blurted out, her dark eyebrows raised.
Jane slid an arm around Scarlett’s shoulder. “This is my daughter, Scarlett.”
Scarlett peered up at Ali. “Your picture is hanging in my room at my grandma’s house. Were you my mom’s friend, like Hannah and Dr. Nik?”
“Yep, I sure was.” Ali’s dark eyes drifted over Scarlett. She blinked in surprise. “That’s a nice necklace you’re wearing.”
Scarlett beamed, reaching up to run her fingers over the twisted silver that Ali had shaped into musical notes over a decade ago. “It was my mom’s. She said it was her favorite.” Scarlett hadn’t taken the necklace off since Jane had given it to her the other day.
Ali’s face softened.
“I guess I should go get those Legos,” Jane said, swallowing down a lump in her throat.
“Sure,” Ali said. And then she added, “We’ll talk more later.”
Jane found her purse and fished out the bag of Legos, handing them to Scarlett. “Just clean up when you’re done, okay?” But Scarlett was already running off to find her new friend.
Jane headed into the kitchen, where she found Mom and Mrs. Andino putting the finishing touches on dinner, laughing over glasses of wine. Mom’s eyes were bright, happy. Jane had so few memories of seeing her this light and carefree. The crease of anxiety was gone from her forehead, and her eyes didn’t dart to the door, worried that Dad might walk in. She was finally free of the dark cloud that had hung over her for the past three decades.
That’s what I want, too.
The freedom from fear, from looking over her shoulder.
The thought stayed with Jane throughout the holiday meal as the laughter and warmth of her old friends surrounded her. She didn’t have to hold her breath, or censor herself, or worry that something might set someone off. When Scarlett reached across the table and knocked over her glass of grape juice, nobody even blinked. Nik simply got up and grabbed a towel, tossing it on the stain and remarking that he’d always thought the tablecloth would look better tie-dyed anyway. Scarlett’s shoulders had immediately relaxed.
This could be our future.
At home, Jane’s spine would have stiffened, automatically, out of habit. Her nervous gaze would have flown to Matteo’s face turning white, jaw twitching. Later, he would have made sure she knew he blamed her for Scarlett’s carelessness. But the worst part would have been watching Scarlett react. Her posture tense, her eyes clouding with fear.
We don’t have to live like that anymore.