CHAPTER SIX
Marcy
I realize I’m running a little late and throw on my best fitting jeans and a clingy black t-shirt.
My go-to bar outfit. We are meeting at Brothers, our usual stop for drinks when we need time to vent.
Its casual, and since Annie and I know everyone in town and I have long sworn off the available dating pool, the pressure is low.
My hair is a mess of curls from the combination of a stressful day and helmet head from my bike ride home.
My meticulous make-up job for my earlier meeting has now become a bit of a mess, but still acceptable.
Dim bar lighting is a girl’s best friend.
Grabbing my bag, I head out the door and down the stairs that lead to the back of my building.
I exit into the parking lot, passing where I locked up my bike when I got home this afternoon.
I do have a car, an old green Ford Escape, that I pat lovingly as I wander by on my way to Main Street.
Unfortunately, she has been out of commission since I haven’t prioritized getting her broken oil pan (or something like that) fixed after an unfortunate incident involving a raccoon and a suspiciously behaving curb. Hence the bike commute.
The bar Is only a couple blocks from my apartment.
The night Is cool and clear, the kind of perfect fall night that we don’t get enough of in Minnesota.
Summer is beautiful for a couple months, fall lasts what feels like ten minutes, we have eternal winter, and then spring happens for one week in May.
You grow up with the expression, “no bad weather, just bad clothing!” echoed by your elders.
The tough part about being a kid with a negligent parent though, is that the number of days with “bad clothing” aren’t few and far between.
I was always going to school with ripped mittens, missing buttons, jackets that were too small, the list goes on.
So tonight, I am over dressed in a soft, down jacket, nearly down to my ankles, that most Minnesotans might raise an eyebrow to, but I refuse to be cold again if it’s in my control.
In no time, I am walking over the threshold of Brothers, scanning for Annie.
The tavern is in an old bank building, right on Main Street.
It has high ceilings, and the original brick that is similar to the style in my apartment.
The wood floors are dulled from the traffic of patrons, wide boards that make the space feel especially inviting.
The bar takes up nearly the full-length of the space, with several high-top tables also distributed throughout.
Behind the bar are glass shelves with beautiful uplighting in a deep purple that makes the space feel rich, and this place the townie favorite.
Cheap whiskey and light beers are the staples, along with a few local brews and ciders.
The spot is busy, it is a Friday night, but not so busy that I don’t spot Annie right away.
She always looks effortlessly beautiful, even though she hasn’t bothered to change out of her work scrubs or tighten up her messy blond bun.
She’s one of those women who men are naturally drawn to, and even as I approach, she is turning down some cute, young, guy who seems to think he has a shot.
He departs as I make my way toward the middle of the bar, where she is saving a stool for me.
I take a quick glance around, spotting the familiar faces that I have come to know since childhood reflected back at me with the obligatory polite nods.
A string of Creedence Clearwater Revival songs have taken over the speakers.
I hop into the seat next to Annie and thank her for the beer that she already has waiting at my seat.
“Glad to see you are prepared in case of a freak snow event.” She welcomes me.
“Ha. I will let that snark slide since you already have my drink waiting. I’m glad to see you decided to stay for girls’ night instead of entertaining…whoever that is. You are a good friend.”
“Don’t I know it! I remembered you had your meeting with the Adonis today, so no way was I about to bail. Besides, I am taking a break from boys at the moment.” It makes me giggle to hear her say she needs to take a proactive break from her love life. We couldn’t be more different in that regard.
“Well, thank you.” I take a large drag and set the bottle on the counter.
I love having a couple drinks with Annie after work, but sometimes there is a strange guilt that rests in the back of my mind that my mom could never have this.
One was never enough, and she paid a price for that. We both did.
“So, tell me, how was it? As bad as you were afraid it would be?” She asks, genuine interest in her tone.
“Honestly? It was…confusing. Enlightening? Awkward? A lot of things really.”
“Explain.”
I tell Annie about Nick’s optimism for mental health services, and his belief that there is money to be made if done correctly.
I share that he seems to understand the populations we serve and the limitations I have had with the lack of other staff and resources.
She smiles at me when I tell her I am my own department, and frowns when I share that the department has no money.
“Okay, but that doesn’t sound so bad. Sounds like he was listening and is willing to work with you.
” Annie is ever the optimist, “And you managed to have the conversation, so your anxiety must have stayed mostly under control.” Annie, Gary and Stan are the only people in my life that have the full picture of my own mental health needs.
“Yeah, I did better organizing my thoughts than I thought I would. And honestly, the work wasn’t the confusing part. Keith joined the meeting, which I didn’t realize was going to happen. It helped at first because I could stay more focused.” I explain.
“More focused?”
“Well yeah, the smell of the Adonis in a small office space, paired with well, all of him, was a bit overwhelming at the start.” I blush a bit.
Annie giggles, “Okay, no offense but you are getting to a more interesting part of the recap. Continue.”
“So anyway, Keith joins, my head feels like it is screwed back on, and I start to talk. But Keith interrupts me a couple times, because…well, he’s Keith. And Nick flips a switch that felt so out of character, it kind of threw me.” I explain.
“What do you mean?”
“He scolded Keith like a child! He had this intense gaze, and his demeanor went from attentive and engaged to street fighter after the second interruption. He came to my defense, told him if he could not keep his mouth shut then he needed to leave the meeting. Like he was a child.” I can’t help but laugh a little thinking back to the look on Keith’s face.
“It was so jarring, but also the way he stood up for me was so…” I can feel my whole-body heating just thinking of it.
“Hot? Because that is fucking hot Marcy, I don’t care what you say.” She’s engrossed.
“Is it? It’s 2025, aren’t I supposed to be repulsed by the knight in shining armor thing? It’s not giving caveman?”
“Can’t it be both? Just because he’s the type of guy to stand up for someone, doesn’t mean he wouldn’t respect a woman to does it on her own too. He saw you were in a vulnerable spot; Keith is your superior, and he stood up for you.”
“Yeah, I suppose.” I can’t get the moment out of my head, Annie can tell. “God, his tone and manner when he was upset with Keith was so different from the sunshine he normally projects at work. Have you noticed that? He is always smiling.”
“I have, Its nauseating.” She says with an eye roll.
“Exactly, thank you! So again, it was confusing. Where did that intensity come from? Maybe he will just smile to my face, and feign interest in the work, and then let his underlying rage cut my department when I inevitably mess something up. Then I’ll be left in this town with no job and no future.
” I start to make the silver on my fingers dance, and Annie starts to give me a look I know all too well.
One she saves for when I start to spiral. “Too dark?” I ask.
“Yeah, I’d say you’re starting to travel down a road that doesn’t need to be traveled quite yet. His anger was directed at helping you, not destroying you. Deep breaths.” I take them.
“That’s fair I guess.” I sip some more of my beer and let my stare get caught in the unique purple lighting behind the bar.
“Let’s stay positive girl, you had a solid meeting from what you are describing.” She takes a big gulp of her wine, and I let her reassurance sink in. “Forget the work part for a second. You have a crush on him, right?” she asks with anything but an innocent tone in her voice.
Do I? Maybe. I didn’t even tell her about the accidental flirting. Like Stan, she would be too excited about that development.
“Annie, let’s not go there. He’s attractive, and he smells nice, but he is always going to be in an overseer role to me, plus he leaves in a few months. What’s the point?” I take a swig of my beer.
“The point? Marcy, when is the last time you let a man into your life? Had a crush? I know he isn’t going to be in town long, but maybe that’s a great fit for you. You can have a little fun, see if you still know how to flirt, maybe have an orgasm that isn’t provided by vibrating rubber?”
“Please leave Sheila out of this Annie, she does the job just fine.” I throw her some side eye.
“I’m serious Marcy, I worry about you. You haven’t even been on a date since Max I bet, and that ended 6 years ago.
You are an amazing person, with such a big heart for other people, why can’t you let yourself experience some…
affection? Plus, Nick has quite the reputation.
” She’s giving me a strange stare that I can’t read.
Her brown eyes a little more twinkling than usual.
“Reputation? Is this some nurse gossip?”
She fakes an incensed gasp, “Gossip? Nurses? How dare you!?”
I give her a look.
“Yes, this is nurse gossip. Hot off the presses! We aren’t Nick’s first assignment in Minnesota, he has consulted with a couple other systems outside of Minneapolis and you know how word can get around in the nursing community.”
“Yes, I firmly believe when everyone is ready to spread the word and organize a cohesive fight against the patriarchy, we need to start at the nurses stations to organize. But please, continue.” I ask a bit too eagerly for my own comfort.
“Well, let’s just say he hasn’t been shy to find company on his assignments, and reviews are raves. Five stars, no notes.” She gives me a slightly evil grin now, while pretending to admire her non-existent manicure.
“Then why don’t you go for him?”
“I have enough going on right now, and my bed hasn’t been empty for six years, Marcy. I may not have had anything serious going on, but I have found my entertainment. You on the other hand, should consider sending some applications to Convents at this point.”
She isn’t wrong. I haven’t been out with anyone since my devastating break-up during graduate school.
The one time I let my heart over-rule my brain, the consequences came back to bite me in the ass in a dramatic fashion.
Add that relationship demise to the consistent trauma I experienced throughout childhood with my mother and ‘romantic love’ seems more like a fairy tale; not attainable for me.
I often think of Stan and Gary. I do want something like what they have; someone who holds your hand, who you can chat with at the end of the long day, lean on when things aren’t great.
Maybe Annie is right, how will I ever get to that place without putting myself out there?
I preach to my patients all the time about finding their bravery, facing fear, taking chances, and I haven’t shared a meal alone with a male whom I was hoping would get in my pants since 2018.
“Okay, let me think about it.” I finally respond through a deep breath.
“Great but try and think a little faster if you can, because you don’t have a ton of time. Your Adonis is walking over to us right now.”
And sure enough, as I turn myself toward the back of the bar, I see Nick striding right toward us.
He’s in some dark denim jeans, and a tight black t-shirt; we are basically wearing the same outfit.
A few standout differences are highlighted, primarily his pecs and biceps that are being thoroughly hugged by the soft cotton.
As he gets closer, I can now see that both arms are covered in full sleeves of tattoos, which were hidden at work this week.
A grin on that beautiful, bearded face, and sparkling blue eyes locked on mine.
Well, fuck.