CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Marcy
I am ruined.
I never appreciated reading that expression in my romance books, but apparently that is because I had never experienced that moment. I get it now.
As I start to come down from the most intense orgasm of my life, and I hear the praises he is offering, all I can think is that I never want him to stop saying those things to me. How do I get him to whisper like that to me again? Do these thoughts still allow me to call myself a feminist?
My arousal is all over him, soaked through my leggings and onto his pants.
His hand glistening with me, his mouth is swollen from our kisses, and he is the sexiest he has ever looked.
He stares at me like he is seeing right into my thoughts and pushes my hair back behind my ears for me.
He is breathing nearly as heavy as I am, and his jaw keeps clenching as he helps me adjust my clothing.
He doesn’t let me out of his reach, kissing my cheeks, holding my waist, and burying his face in the crick of my neck.
Inhaling me, inhaling us. I know, because I am doing the same, I don’t want to let him go.
“Are you okay?” His voice is gentle.
Am I? More importantly, did I just have the most erotic experience of my life in my place of employment?
“I am, more than okay actually.”
“You are so beautiful Marcy. This was the best meeting of my life.” We both start giggling and I finally pull myself away from him enough to grab some wet wipes out of my bag and try to clean his pants.
My leggings are a mess but easily covered by my long sweater.
“Stop, I can take care of my own pants. I never cared about them much but can now confirm that they are my favorite pair.” We start laughing again.
He takes my hand, twisting my rings on my fingers as if they are now his own fidget toy.
“What are you thinking, Nick?” My thoughts are all over the place. I haven’t fully recovered from the pleasure that just rocked my sense of being, but as the fog starts to subside, my anxiety about our situation starts to resurface.
“I’m thinking I want to feel you come again, many more times in fact.
” Kiss on my neck. “I’m thinking that I have never wanted someone so much that I allowed touching them to happen in my office, so that’s something.
” Lick under my ear. “And I am thinking that I would really like to take you out to dinner tomorrow night, if you are free.” He is grinning at me in such a way this is almost shy, it’s adorable.
“Like a proper date you mean?”
“Yes, like a proper date Marcy. I am serious, you are different, this thing between us is different.” He pauses, staring at me intently. “Full transparency?” He asks hesitantly
“That would be appreciated.”
“I don’t know how to properly date you. I’m nervous.
I have never tried to take my relationships beyond the first couple of dates, beyond the physical release.
I want more with you though Marcy. I wanted more before you just fucked my hand in my office.
” He gives me a wicked grin, “and I sure as hell want you more now.” It’s another rare moment where he isn’t oozing that confidence.
His guard is down, he’s letting me see the real him.
I can’t help but smile. “Okay, then let’s start with a real date. Not one where you pretend you want to be my friend.”
“Great, because I don’t think I tried to be your friend anyway.” He kisses me lightly
on a cheek and a couple down my neck; all so effortless.
“That makes sense. It was the hand holding that gave you away, I don’t know many friends that hold hands that much.”
“I was hoping that would give you a hint, I knew I wasn’t playing it cool.” He says, blushing. “If I remember right, you started holding my hand back though.”
“I didn’t say I didn’t like it; I’m saying it made me feel more than friendly.” He’s still playing with my rings, a completely foreign sensation. I’m adrift at the gentleness of the gesture, feeling like the sensation is keeping me grounded to this moment.
I pull away just a little. He stands too, grabbing a towel out of his gym bag. My body is still buzzing and if I stay much longer I don’t think I will be able to control myself. My senses are still overwhelmed with him. “I have to go; I’m meeting Annie for a drink.”
“Okay, do you need a ride there?”
“No, it’s so strange, my car started working again by itself overnight, a few weeks ago. Like it was magic or something.” He reddens.
“It’s definitely magic…or something.”
“How do you know so much about cars, by the way?”
“I took shop in high school, there was a robust after school program that I was accepted to. My parents hated it; why would I need that skill when I could pay someone to fix vehicles? It was a waste of time in their eyes, but I think their attitudes toward the skills only added to my drive to absorb all I could about cars and maintenance. Then I worked at shops for fun and extra cash during college.” He smiles to himself while he slowly curls a strand of my hair around his finger. “Pick you up at six tomorrow?”
“Can’t wait.” I’m beaming but trying not to, never having been able to hide my emotions that well.
“Can I share something with you? I know you appreciate a heads up.” He looks at me a bit wanting.
“Yes?” I guess he really was listening when I talked about my anxiety.
“After our date, I am going to try and sleep with you. No asks, just something to think about. I can be a little…forward, when I want something. I don’t want to throw you off.
I will wait for as long as you want if you aren’t ready to take that step.
That’s it. Just letting you know.” His intent and eye contact have me wanting to put my mouth on him again.
I don’t have words, and I’m stuck where I stand.
He notices, offering a lingering kiss on my cheek and whispers in my ear.
“Have fun with Annie. I will be thinking about you.” He puts my bag over my shoulder and leads me to the door. “Don’t want you to be late.”
“Bye Nick.” I finally find the will to move my feet and start walking down the hall. When I turn around, starting to process everything that just took place in that office, he’s watching me walk away.
I text Annie that I had a change in plans and need to meet at Brothers. One of my favorite things about Annie is that if I ever say I need something, she doesn’t hesitate.
I am late meeting her because I had to run home and change.
“Work ended 10 minutes ago, you already went home and changed? To put on pajamas?” I had grabbed sweatpants off the top of my laundry basket, not thinking about matching, or anything other than Nick’s hand in my pants.
“Crisis…I had a crisis.” I stammer out.
“In the past thirty minutes?”
“I think it’s been forty-five since the end of the meeting, but yes.”
“How did you manage to have a crisis already? Details. Go.”
“I just had an orgasm at work. In Nick’s office. With Nick.” I close my eyes, unwilling to meet the judgment in Annie’s face that is no doubt waiting for me.
“Oh. My. God. We need another round! This is the best news I have heard, possibly ever!” My eyes fly open.
“What!?”
“Marcy, this is amazing. You needed to get out there, and you are. I thought maybe you would get a little further away from the workplace, but beggars can’t be choosers in this scenario. How was it?”
How was it?
“It was…incredible. I have never come so hard in my life.” I’m flushed, sweating and fantasizing simultaneously. My heart is still racing, struggling to decipher my excitement from my worry. I chug water.
“Thank all the gods and goddesses, you needed that! Wait…Is that why you only changed your pants!?” I give her a mortified stare, but she just returns my look with a beaming expression. “Yes, Marcy. Congratulations, well done, I am so proud of you!”
“Damn it Annie, you choose this moment to tell me you are proud of me? You have more enthusiasm than when I told you I was able to confirm getting interns to work at the hospital.”
“I’m going to encourage you to listen to the last sentence that just came out of your mouth again.
I believe my increased excitement over this issue will be quite clear.
You ended a six year long dry spell. You conquered your anxiety about moving forward, which takes guts and a lot of work.
” She really is a good friend. “Nick is the perfect temporary distraction, good time with no strings, exactly what you need, and are making it happen.” Ah, might need to explain some things.
“Well, that’s the thing. He said he doesn’t want casual; he wants more. With me specifically. He asked me out on a date tomorrow, a real one. This is why I came to you. I need you to tell me it is all going to work out, calm my fears, the reassuring stuff. Then I need you to help pick an outfit.”
Annie pauses and looks at me contemplatively. “This is hot, he’s gorgeous, and smart, and you guys clearly share some passions and work goals. But…”
“A but Annie!? Now you have a concern?”
“But you have to remember that he is leaving. I know he says he wants more, but he is leaving in a couple months. What will you do, long distance?”
That sounds terrible, and she was right. So what if he has real feelings for me, that hardly means anything in this situation. “You’re right. So now what?”
“You go out with him tomorrow and you see how you feel. Maybe you guys just have the attraction and need to get it out of your system. You aren’t going to get any answers by avoiding him or denying yourself.
” She’s sipping her second glass of wine.
My first still sitting untouched on the bar. Too nervous to imbibe.
“I can’t stop thinking about him.” I jitter in my seat.
“Aw honey…now give me the dirty details.”