6. Reiana #2
I paused before answering because that was the obvious conclusion, but surprisingly, it wasn’t the one my mind kept going to. Maybe because I hadn’t seen anything that screamed another woman. Whatever Dorian was doing felt like something else.
“I’on know,” I answered as I shook my head. “And honestly, cheating isn’t even necessarily where my mind goes.”
“Then what is it?” Mona asked as she tilted her head.
“I’on fucking know,” I admitted as I sat back. “And that’s the problem. He always says it’s business, but the nigga is in real estate. What’s so secretive about that?”
“What if real estate isn’t his only business?” Taryn questioned as she reached for her drink.
I looked at her for a moment because I didn’t think about that. He never mentioned anything about being in the streets, but I knew he had associates who were. That’s how Quention knew him. He did business with him a few times.
“I never thought about that because he doesn’t give off any vibes that he’s in the streets,” I admitted.
“Those are usually the main ones,” Mona input.
“Can I ask you something without you getting mad?” Taryn questioned as she placed her fork down.
“Probably not but I know you’re gone ask anyway.” I rolled my eyes as I stuffed my mouth with the shrimp and grits.
“Glad you know, but do you even really like Dorian?” Taryn asked as she looked my way.
“What kind of dumb ass question is that?” I asked with a frown.
“A valid one,” Taryn countered with a shrug. “Because every time you talk about that nigga, you sound irritated as fuck.”
“That’s because he’s irritating the fuck out of me right now,” I explained as I placed my fork down.
“Okay, but even before this,” Taryn continued as she leaned back. “You never sound excited about his ass.”
“I’m thirty years old,” I replied as I stared at her. “What the fuck you want me to do? Swing my feet and write his name in a notebook?”
“Not write his name in a notebook,” Mona laughed.
“You know what the fuck I mean,” Taryn laughed. “I’m saying it doesn’t feel like you’re into him like that.”
I wanted to dismiss what she was saying, but the problem was that I understood exactly what she meant.
Dorian and I had been together for two years, and there was nothing necessarily wrong with us.
Before he started acting weird, we got along fine.
We enjoyed each other’s company, the sex was good, and he treated me well.
But none of those qualities equated to me being in love with him.
“I care about Dorian,” I stated as I reached for my mimosa.
“That wasn’t what she said,” Mona countered.
“Whose side are you on?” I sassed.
“The side that makes the most sense and right now, I’on see that being you,” Mona stated before sticking her fork in my plate.
“Get the fuck out my food,” I snapped as I slapped at her hand.
“You’ll be alright,” Mona countered with a smile before her expression softened. “But seriously, Ree. Are you happy with Dorian?”
I looked down at my glass and swirled the mimosa around while I thought about it.
Was I happy?
I wasn’t miserable. I didn’t wake up wishing I was single. Dorian wasn’t somebody I dreaded seeing or talking to. Until recently, being with him had been easy. But if somebody asked whether I could see myself marrying him, I couldn’t honestly say no.
“I’m not unhappy,” I finally answered as I shrugged.
Taryn’s face twisted immediately. “That sounds like some bullshit.”
“No it doesn’t,” I argued back.
“It definitely does,” Mona agreed with a nod.
“Okay, well fuck both of y’all,” I muttered as I reached for the mimosa pitcher.
Taryn laughed as she watched me refill my glass. “Not being unhappy ain’t the same as being happy, Ree.”
“I know that,” I replied as I sat the pitcher down. “But everything doesn’t have to be some grand love story either.”
The second I said it, Mona looked at me. I knew exactly where her mind was going, and I wasn’t going there with her.
“Don’t,” I warned her.
“I didn’t say anything,” Mona defended as she raised both hands.
“You didn’t have to,” I countered as I picked up my glass. “I know exactly what your ass was thinking.”
Taryn looked between the two of us before realization crossed her face.
“Lennox?” Taryn asked as she leaned slightly forward.
“See, now why the fuck would you say his name?” I snapped as my good mood disappeared instantly.
“Because clearly that’s who the hell y’all talking about,” Taryn replied as she shrugged.
“We weren’t talking about that nigga,” I corrected as I took a long sip of my mimosa.
Just hearing his name irritated me. Lennox had nothing to do with Dorian, and I wanted to keep it that way.
I had spent years building a life that had absolutely nothing to do with that man.
I wasn’t about to start comparing everybody I dated to somebody who had already shown me exactly how little I meant to him when it mattered most.
“I wasn’t trying to make this about Lennox,” Mona explained. “All I was thinking was that you know what it feels like to really love somebody,” she continued.
“And I also know what it feels like when that same person breaks your fucking heart,” I shot back as I looked directly at her.
I hated that my emotions could still shift that quickly where Lennox was concerned. Eight years later, I could still remember staring at my phone after telling him I was pregnant and reading words I never imagined he would say to me.
Fuck you and that baby.
Mona reached across the table and placed her hand over mine. “I know, Ree,” Mona said softly as she squeezed my hand. “I’m not saying what he did was okay at all.”
“I know,” I responded as I squeezed her hand back before letting her go. “I just don’t want to talk about his ass.”
“And we don’t have to,” Mona assured me as she picked up her fork again.
“Fuck him,” Taryn added as she lifted her mimosa.
I laughed because leave it to Taryn to make something that simple.
“That’s the spirit,” I joked as I shook my head.
“And while we’re at it, fuck Dorian too until further notice,” Taryn declared as she held her glass toward mine.
“Now you doing too much,” I laughed as I tapped my glass against hers.
“I’m just covering all bases,” Taryn explained before taking a sip of her drink.
My phone vibrated against the table before I could respond. When I glanced down and saw Dorian’s name across the screen, I almost laughed. Speak of the fucking devil.
“Was that Dorian?” Taryn asked as she narrowed her eyes at me.
“Why you all in my business?” I questioned.
“Because I’m nosy,” Taryn answered unapologetically as she reached for another piece of chicken.
“At least you’re not in denial about it,” Mona laughed as she shook her head.
I eventually flipped my phone over and opened his message.
Dorian: What you doing later?
Normally, I would’ve answered him without thinking about it.
Today, I didn’t feel like it. Maybe my girls had gotten in my head a little, but mostly, I was enjoying myself and didn’t want Dorian or whatever weird shit he had going on creeping into my day.
Whatever Dorian had going on would still be there later.
Right now, I was enjoying my day out with my two favorite girls.
I didn’t want to think about no nigga or whatever bullshit he did or have going on.