8. Reiana
Reiana
same night…
Dinner at The Blue Room was supposed to be Dorian’s way of making up for the weird shit he’d been on lately.
After popping up at my house with flowers and that half-ass explanation about some big contract, he spent the next couple of days calling and checking in like normal.
I still didn’t completely believe his ass, but I decided not to keep pressing him when I didn’t have anything concrete to press him about.
I sat across from him in one of the booths toward the back of the lounge, watching him look down at his phone for what had to be the fifth time since our food came.
He wasn’t texting anybody that I could see.
He would look at the screen, lock it, sit it back down, and then pick it up a few minutes later like he was waiting on something.
“You expecting a call or something?” I asked as I leaned back against the booth and watched him reach for his phone again.
“Nah, baby,” Dorian answered as he glanced at the screen before turning it facedown. “I’m good.”
I stared at him for a few seconds because that answer did absolutely nothing for me. His mouth said he was good, but everything else about him said otherwise. He had been distracted since we sat down, and twice he looked toward the entrance when somebody walked in, like he was expecting somebody.
“You sure?” I questioned as I picked up my drink. “Because you’ve checked that phone more than you’ve looked at me since we got here.”
“I’m sure,” Dorian assured me as he reached across the table and touched my hand. “It’s just some work shit. I told you I had that deal going on.”
I pulled my hand from beneath his and grabbed my glass instead. “You keep saying that, but you still haven’t really told me shit.”
Dorian released a breath and leaned back in his seat before looking around the lounge. “Reiana, what do you want me to tell you?”
“The truth would be nice,” I answered as I raised my brow. “Because whatever you’ve been telling me lately damn sure ain’t it.”
“I’m not lying to you,” Dorian denied as he took a sip from his glass. “I got a lot of money tied up in some shit right now, and I’m trying to make sure everything goes the way it’s supposed to. That’s it.”
“What shit?” I questioned as I rested my forearms on the table. “What deal? What property? Who are you dealing with? You keep giving me these broad ass answers like I’m the gah damn Feds and you’re on trial,” I snapped.
Dorian looked at me for a moment before rubbing his hand across his beard. “Why I gotta give you every detail for you to believe me? If I said that’s what it is, Ree, then damn… that’s what it is,” he huffed in frustration.
That pissed me the fuck off. I wasn’t asking to go through his phone.
I wasn’t asking him where he was every second of the day, and I damn sure wasn’t trying to control a grown-ass man.
I was simply asking why my boyfriend had been walking around like he was waiting for somebody to blow up his spot.
“You don’t,” I replied as I sat back and folded my arms. “But don’t sit here and act like I’m crazy for noticing that your ass been moving funny.
You take calls away from me, you ignore half the calls you get when I’m around, and now we’re sitting at dinner, and you’ve spent the whole time watching that fucking phone and checking the door. ”
“I’m not acting like you’re crazy,” Dorian responded as he reached for my hand again. “I’m saying you’re making this bigger than it is,” he pleaded.
I hated when somebody tried to make me feel like I was overreacting instead of answering the damn question.
I had already been through enough in my life to know when my instincts were screaming at me for a reason.
I didn’t always know exactly what the reason was, but I damn sure knew better than to ignore it.
“I’m making it bigger than it is?” I repeated as I stared at him. “Okay.” I scoffed.
The tone of my voice must’ve told him he was heading in the wrong direction because his expression changed immediately.
“Come on, baby. That ain’t what I meant,” Dorian corrected as he moved closer to me in the booth. “I’m just saying I got some business shit stressing me out, and I’on want to bring that shit to you.”
“You already brought it to me,” I pointed out as I looked at him. “Your whole energy has been fucked up for weeks.”
Dorian was quiet for a few seconds before he wrapped his arm around me and gently pulled me closer, pressing his lips against the side of my neck.
“It’s nothing you need to worry about, aight,” Dorian assured me as he kissed my neck again. “I promise you. I’m handling it.”
“I hope you are,” I responded as I turned my head enough to look at him. “Because I meant what I told you before. I’m not dealing with nobody’s bullshit, Dorian.”
“I know, baby,” Dorian replied as he rubbed his thumb against the back of my neck. “You’on have anything to worry about… I promise.”
I cared about Dorian, and despite what Taryn’s crazy ass thought, I didn’t want him to be doing anything that would force me to walk away. Two years was still two years of my life. We had good times together, and before all this weird shit started, being with him was easy.
I gave him a small nod before turning my attention back to my plate. “Aight,” I responded.
“You mad at me now?” He asked.
“I’m not mad,” I lied.
He knew I was lying just as well as I knew he was.
For the rest of dinner, Dorian made an obvious effort to stay off his phone. I played along because I wasn’t about to spend the rest of my night sitting there with an attitude, but whatever mood I had when I walked into The Blue Room was gone.
“You ready?” Dorian asked as he stood from the booth and extended his hand toward me.
“Mhm,” I responded as I slid my hand into his and stood.
He pulled me closer and kissed my temple before placing his hand against the lower part of my back.
I let him guide me through the lounge while my mind was somewhere else entirely.
Dorian could tell me there was nothing to worry about until he turned blue in the face…
I still didn’t believe him. I got a feeling that whatever he was hiding was a whole lot bigger than some damn real estate contract.
***
the next afternoon…
Taryn was sitting on the other end of my sofa with a plate in her lap.
Mona was supposed to be here too, but Mireya woke up sick this morning, so she stayed home with her.
Taryn and I didn’t let that stop us from making an afternoon out of it.
I ordered wings, and a few appetizers from one of our favorite spots, and Tay brought over a bottle of tequila to top everything off.
By the time we finished eating, my second drink was already working its way through me, but not enough to stop me from being irritated every time I thought about Dorian.
Dorian and I had been together for two years, and I never thought we had the kind of relationship where I had to question every word he said.
We weren’t perfect, but we didn’t have constant drama either.
Until recently, being with him felt easy enough.
Now every conversation felt like I was trying to read between the lines and crack some kind of code.
“I asked him last night if he was telling me the truth,” I explained as I pushed my plate onto the coffee table. “He looked me dead in my face and still gave me that same ass lie.”
“That would’ve did it for me,” Taryn replied as she shook her head.
“Bitch, everything does it for you,” I laughed despite myself.
“Because I’on have patience for bullshit,” Taryn defended as she laughed with me. “Y’all be giving niggas too much grace and then act surprised when they use all of it.”
I grabbed my drink and took a sip before I responded to her. “I’m definitely not the one to give nigga more than one chance to play with me. Hence the reason Rhyse doesn’t know his sorry ass, black ass daddy.”
“I know you’re not,” Taryn replied as her expression softened. “That’s why I’m telling you to stop acting like you need Dorian’s bitch ass in the act before you can be done with his ass. If you’on feel right, then some shit ain’t right.”
For most of my adult life, I had trained myself not to be reckless with my feelings.
Lennox taught me that lesson without ever knowing he did.
After him, I promised myself I would never be the woman who ignored signs because she wanted something to work.
I wasn’t going to beg anybody to choose me, and I damn sure wasn’t going to stay somewhere I wasn’t wanted.
Dorian had done anything nearly to what Lennox did, but that didn’t mean I was required to wait around until he did something equally fucked up before I protected myself.
“I’on want to make a decision based off fear either,” I admitted as I rested my head against the back of the couch. “I know what happened with Lennox fucked me up in ways I probably still don’t admit, and I’on want to punish Dorian for shit he didn’t do.”
“Then don’t punish him for Lennox. Punish that nigga for his own shit,” she countered.
“That sounded too damn mature coming from you,” I teased as I narrowed my eyes.
“Bitch, I’m wise as fuck,” Taryn boasted with a smirk. “You need to start listening to me,” she laughed.
“Didn’t you just threaten to beat a bitch delirious last week for talking to you crazy?” I reminded her as I laughed.
“I can be wise and violent at the same time.” She shrugged.
“You’re an idiot,” I muttered as I shook my head.
Taryn laughed before she grew serious again. “But for real, Ree. Forget Lennox. Forget what Mona thinks. Forget what I think. If Dorian keeps moving like this, do you still want to be with him?”
“I’on know,” I finally admitted as I rubbed my thumb along the side of my glass. “And I hate that.”
Taryn nodded. “Then give yourself enough space to figure that out. You’on have to break up with him today, but you also don’t have to keep pretending everything is good just because he tells you it is.”
The truth was, I had already started pulling away from Dorian before I ever said it out loud.
Every unanswered question made me care a little less about what he was doing, and that probably should’ve scared me more than it did.
When I loved somebody… I loved hard. When I no longer cared…
that was just that. What I had with Dorian had never reached that place, and maybe that was why walking away from him didn’t feel impossible.
Whatever Dorian was hiding would eventually come out. Shit like that always did. The only thing I needed to figure out was whether I still planned on being there when it did.