16. Reiana #2
For the first time since Lennox had walked back into my life, one of the biggest reasons I had spent years keeping him buried in the past no longer belonged there.
I still had plenty of reasons to protect myself from him, and finding out the truth about Kree hadn’t suddenly erased everything that went wrong between us.
But it had removed something I had carried for years, and standing there with him in my kitchen, I wasn’t sure yet what the hell that meant for us.
Lennox and I were still standing in the kitchen when the sound of the front door opening brought me out of my thoughts. Before I could move, Rhyse’s voice came from the hallway, loud and curious like always.
“Ma, whose truck is that outside?” Rhyse called as his footsteps got closer. “That black one sitting by the—”
He stopped the second he stepped into the kitchen and saw Lennox standing across from me. His eyes moved from Lennox to me and then back again before his little face scrunched up.
“What he doing here again?” Rhyse asked as he pointed at Lennox.
Before either one of us could answer him, Mona came around the corner with Quentin right behind her. The second she saw Lennox, she stopped too, and her eyes bounced between the two of us before finally landing on me.
“Well, damn,” Mona muttered as one eyebrow lifted. She looked toward me and held up her hand. “My bad. I should’ve called before we came back. Q had to stop somewhere on the way, and Boosie was ready to come home, so I didn’t even think about it.”
“You’re fine,” I assured her as I shook my head. “You don’t have to call before bringing my child home.”
Quentin stepped farther into the kitchen and looked Lennox over before extending his hand. “Quentin,” he introduced himself.
“Lennox,” Lennox replied as he shook his hand.
Quentin held his hand a second longer than necessary, and I watched recognition slowly settle over his face. His eyes narrowed slightly before he released Lennox’s hand.
“Steele?” Quentin asked.
“That would be me,” Lennox acknowledged with a straight face.
“Ain’t this some shit,” Quentin laughed.
“Wait… you two know each other?” I asked.
“Not personally,” Lennox explained. “I’ve done business with Q a few times.” I looked between the two of them and knew it was more to it, but I’d get into that later.
“Small world, huh?” Lennox smirked.
“Apparently,” Quentin replied with a grin.
Lennox shifted his attention to Mona next, and the amusement stayed on his face. “Nice seeing you too, Mona.”
Mona folded her arms and looked him up and down before a smirk pulled at the corner of her mouth. “That’s still debatable.”
I shook my head because I already knew Mona wasn’t about to suddenly become his biggest fan just because I had learned the truth about what happened years ago.
Lennox didn’t seem bothered by her attitude either.
If anything, he looked like he expected it.
Rhyse, on the other hand, was still standing there waiting for somebody to acknowledge him.
He threw both hands out and looked around the kitchen.
“Is anybody gonna explain why this strange nigga keep popping up?”
The room went quiet for half a second before Quentin broke first. He lowered his head as a laugh came out of him, and Mona immediately covered her mouth to hide hers. Lennox chuckled while I stared directly at my son.
“Rhyse Scott, watch your mouth,” I chastised as I pointed at him.
Rhyse shrugged like he didn’t understand the problem. “I’m just asking.”
“You can ask without all the extra shit,” I told him.
Quentin cleared his throat, but the smile was still all over his face. “Come on, baby. We need to get out of here so they can handle their shit.”
Mona gave me one last look before telling me to call her. I knew there were going to be about fifty questions waiting on me whenever I finally made that call. Quentin nodded toward Lennox before following his wife out, and a few seconds later the front door closed behind them.
Rhyse stayed in the kitchen after Mona and Q left, his eyes moving between me and Lennox like he was waiting for one of us to finally explain who Lennox was. He dropped his things beside the island and climbed onto one of the stools, then folded his arms on top of the counter.
“So what’s really going on?” Rhyse asked as he looked at me first, then Lennox. “Because he been here twice now.”
I glanced at Lennox, and he gave me a small nod before pulling out the stool across from Rhyse. My stomach tightened because there really wasn’t a perfect way to say it. I could soften it all I wanted, but the truth was still the truth.
I moved closer to Rhyse and rested my hand against his back. “You know how I told you Lennox was somebody I knew a long time ago?”
Rhyse nodded slowly. “Yeah, but that still ain’t explaining nothing.”
I rubbed Rhyse’s back once before I responded. “Lennox is your father.”
Rhyse stared at me like I had said something that didn’t make any sense. His eyebrows pulled together before he looked across the island at Lennox, then right back at me. “No, he ain’t.”
My chest tightened. “Boosie—”
“My daddy is some deadbeat nigga that ain’t want me,” Rhyse cut in as his voice rose. “You said he knew about me and ain’t want me,” he voiced.
The words hit harder hearing them come out of his mouth with Lennox standing right there.
I felt Lennox’s eyes move to me, but I couldn’t look at him.
Everything Rhyse had just said was what I had believed for almost eight years, and even though I had never sat around purposely poisoning him against his father, I had never given him a reason to believe anything different either.
“Rhyse, listen to me,” I said as I turned toward him. “That’s what I thought happened, but I was wrong, baby.”
He pulled away from my hand before I could touch him again. “How are you wrong about who my daddy is?” He frowned.
“I wasn’t wrong about who your father was,” I explained as carefully as I could. “I was wrong about him knowing about you.”
Rhyse’s face twisted with confusion as he looked between us. “That don’t even make sense. How is he my daddy and ain’t know about me?” In his seven-year-old mind, his question made all the sense, but it wasn’t as simple as he thought.
“I tried to tell him when I found out I was pregnant with you,” I said, feeling my throat tighten. “I sent him a message, and I got a response that made me believe he didn’t want anything to do with me or you. I believed that message came from him, but it didn’t.”
Rhyse stared at me for a few seconds before his eyes moved to Lennox. “So you really ain’t know?”
“I swear to you, I didn’t,” Lennox responded damn near immediately.
Rhyse immediately looked back at me. “Then why you always let me think my daddy ain’t want me?”
“Because I thought that was the truth, baby. I would never lie to you about something like this on purpose. Everything I told you was based on what I believed happened. I thought Lennox knew I was pregnant. I thought he made the choice not to be here,” I answered honestly.
“But he didn’t,” Rhyse said as his eyes started to water.
“No,” I admitted softly. “He didn’t.”
Rhyse slid off the stool and backed away from the island. He wiped at his face quickly before any tears could fall, but they fell anyway. “So all this time I’ve been thinking my daddy ain’t give a fuck about me and he ain’t even know I was here?” He cried.
“Watch your mouth,” I said automatically, but there wasn’t much force behind it.
Rhyse shook his head hard as his tears kept falling. “That’s messed up, Mama.”
“I know, baby and I’m sorry,” I whispered.
“No, you don’t,” he argued as he wiped his face again.
“Everybody got a daddy. Uncle Q be doing stuff with me, but he ain’t my daddy.
When people ask me where mine was, I always said I ain’t got one because he ain’t want me.
” His voice cracked on the last few words, and it damn near broke me.
“And now you telling me he was here this whole time and ain’t even know? ”
I moved toward him, but he took another step back.
That hurt, but I let him have the space because he had every right to be upset.
Lennox had been quiet, but when Rhyse looked toward him again, I saw something in his face shift.
All the anger Lennox had carried since finding out about Rhyse wasn’t there anymore. He just looked hurt.
“I’m sorry, man. I swear I am,” Lennox said as he pushed away from the island. He didn’t walk toward Rhyse, though. He stayed where he was. “I know me saying I didn’t know doesn’t give you them years back, and it damn sure doesn’t erase every time you thought I knew about you and didn’t care.”
“But you ain’t do nothing.” Rhyse sniffed and wiped his nose with the back of his hand.
“I didn’t,” Lennox agreed. “But I am sorry you had to feel like that. You should’ve never had to think your father didn’t want you,” Lennox countered sympathetically.
“Would you have wanted me if you knew?” Rhyse asked through his tears.
Lennox’s jaw tightened, and for the first time since the conversation started, he looked like he was having trouble keeping his emotions together. “Man, I would’ve been there the second I knew about you,” Lennox choked out.
“How I know that?” Rhyse asked.
“You don’t,” Lennox answered honestly. “Not yet… all you got right now is my word, and I know that probably don’t mean shit because you just met me. So I’m not gonna keep telling you what I would’ve done. I’m gonna show you what I’m gonna do.”
Rhyse lowered his eyes and stood there quietly… listening.
Lennox took a breath before continuing. “You can be mad at me… your mama… the whole situation. You can ask whatever you wanna ask, but there’s one thing I’on want you thinking anymore,” Lennox stated.
“What’s that?” Rhyse mumbled.
“That you weren’t wanted,” Lennox told him. “Don’t carry that shit another day because it ain’t true. I didn’t leave you. I didn’t decide I didn’t want you. I just didn’t know you existed. There’s a big difference.”