Chapter Twenty-Three
Hollie
A heatwave rolls into Canyon. It’s thick and oppressive and it’s all anybody can talk about.
I drive out to Rapture after work. These last couple of weeks, temperatures have risen across the region to thirty-seven degrees Celsius, or ninety-seven Fahrenheit.
At Sunset Pines, some of the air-conditioning units aren’t working so, accompanied by Nabila, I went to the superstore to buy several fans for the residents.
When I get out of the car at Scotch the floor covered with dried leaves and twigs.
Nicole hands out sunscreen. AJ rubs some on my back while Balthazar and Chase bring a cool box out from the back of the truck. They lay some blankets out in a clearing, in the shadow of some trees.
And then we’re all diving into the water, cooling off, splashing one another.
It’s possible to paddle in the shallow parts of the river, where the riverbed is lined with fine soil.
In the deeper parts it’s possible to swim, with trees and shrubs lining the river on both sides.
It’s peaceful. There’s not a soul around.
I follow AJ as we swim further out, then I’m back in his arms, his fingers sliding underneath my bikini top, his thumbs brushing against my hardened nipples.
‘Hey,’ I giggle.
He draws me in for a lingering kiss, laughing a little against my lips. ‘Sorry. Can’t help it.’
I look over at Balthazar and Nicole, also eagerly making out, the reflection of the sun shimmering across the surface of the water. ‘So, I still don’t know,’ I say, my gaze drifting back to AJ, admiring the way water drips from his hair to his cheeks. ‘Are they on again?’
‘Definitely on again,’ AJ says, his hands around my waist as my feet find the riverbed. I can feel his erection straining under his swim shorts. ‘Though next week, either one of ’em could go cold again.’
We both glance at them for a moment. It doesn’t seem that Nicole’s going to go cold on Balthazar anytime soon.
‘Bren hates it,’ AJ says, looking past me toward Chase, who is still setting up camp. ‘I mean, it’s not that. He hates that I’ve got a girl now.’
Something twists in my chest. A memory flashes through my mind. ‘You mean, he doesn’t like that I’m your girlfriend.’
‘It means it’s not just the two of us shooting pool all day.’
‘Does he mind? That I’ve taken you away?’
AJ strokes my cheek. ‘He can shoot pool with anybody, and besides, I always lose. I’d rather spend my time hanging out with you.’
I move closer and he kisses me again. It’s long and slow, our tongues sliding together.
Under the water, I feel my intimate muscles clench.
I think about telling AJ I love him, but my thoughts are shattered by the sound of Chase loudly entering the water with a strangled wail, sending water everywhere.
We spend the rest of the afternoon in and out of the river, jumping in from a tire swing, playing ball games and listening to music. At dusk, the temperature finally cools off.
The sky is a cobalt shade of blue when AJ and Chase gather wood for a fire, because Nicole brought two bags of giant toasting marshmallows. Once we’ve dried off, she and I search for long sticks in the undergrowth.
‘So…’ she says when we’re out of earshot of the three men. ‘Things seem pretty swell between you and AJ.’
In the dusk light, I feel myself blush. ‘Yeah. Things are good. Really good. So far, anyway.’
‘I’ve never seen him so into a girl before. Or like… ever, actually. He told me he’s got competition though.’
I blink at her. ‘Competition?’
‘Some guy in England who sends you poetry over email?’
A smile tugs at my lips. ‘Oh. Him. Yeah. It’s nothing. He’s an ex. My only ex.’
‘Good ex, or bad ex?’
I shrug. ‘Good ex, I suppose. I never wanted to break his heart. I think now I know I have to.’
‘’Cause of AJ?’
I’m looking at him when I say the words, watching him laughing and joking with his two best friends, ‘I don’t want to go back to England. My life is here now. I think I was just afraid to start living it.’
She follows my gaze. ‘Did you tell your daddy yet?’
I snap out of my wistful reverie. ‘Uh. No. He doesn’t know. And I don’t know that he’d have a problem with it, it’s more…’
‘Mayor Wallace? You know she’s gonna go ballistic when she finds out, right?’
She doesn’t see me wince. ‘I know that. Look, here’s one.’
I hold up a good stick for toasting marshmallows. ‘Awesome,’ Nicole says, bending down and picking up another. ‘I got one too.’
‘What about you and Balthazar? You seem to have patched things up.’
‘I don’t know about that. Reyes likes two things: sex and motorcycles. So long as he and I are keeping each other happy in the bedroom… Well. He’s a simple kinda guy. But maybe simple is what I need.’
The first time I feel out of place in the group is when we’re on our third round of toasted marshmallows, sitting in a circle around our small campfire, and I’m starting to feel a little sick.
‘What happened to your friend Marcie from high school?’ Nicole asks me. ‘That girl you used to hang out with?’
I lick marshmallowy stickiness from my fingertips. ‘Went to medical school in Dallas.’
‘You still talk to her?’
‘Not really. Sometimes on social media. She lives with her boyfriend.’
‘That guy’s probably as dorky as she was,’ Chase snorts.
‘He’s an ER doctor,’ I snip. ‘He saves lives.’
‘Marcie had kind of a glow-up, senior year, I seem to recall,’ Nicole says.
‘Think she was in my science class,’ Balthazar comments absent-mindedly.
AJ remains quiet.
‘How’d you like American high school, Hollie?’ Chase asks me.
I look up. He’s staring at me from the other side of the fire. It’s a pointed question, like he’s singling me out for not being a native.
‘Well, honestly, I would have liked it more if you guys didn’t bully me as much as you did.’
‘Bully?’ Chase says and he follows it up with a cackle. ‘Bully? Naw, we didn’t bully you. Sure, we got our kicks, maybe had a few cheap laughs…’
‘Oh, so filling someone’s locker with about a hundred condoms and making them look used, constitutes a cheap laugh at my expense?’
Next to me, I feel AJ tense.
‘Shit, I forgot we did that,’ Chase says, and he’s cackling again.
‘You remember that, fellas? Yo! Took us fucking forever to fill those condoms with that shampoo. We skipped chemistry so we could fill ’em up under the bleachers on the sports field.
The way they slapped to the floor when you opened your locker… slap… slap… slap.’
He makes wet noises as he speaks, and that seems to crack him up. I look across at Nicole and Balthazar. Nicole is unamused. Balthazar looks like he’s trying to conceal a laugh. I can’t even glance in AJ’s direction.
‘AJ, you spent the whole afternoon bitchin’ that your fingers smelled like fucking spermicide…’
I stare into the fire. ‘You’re a fuckin’ idiot, Bren,’ I hear AJ growl beside me.
‘What?’ Chase continues. ‘We were just fucking with you, Hollie. You found it funny, though, right?’
The entire senior class witnessed those condoms sliding out of my locker. I remember lying in my bedroom, later that afternoon, crying into my pillow and thinking no one was ever going to like me at Eastvale High.
‘It might have been funnier if that’d been the only thing you did.’
‘Oh, come on,’ Chase says again. ‘Don’t be so uptight.’
‘Chase,’ AJ says in a warning tone beside me.
‘Your girlfriend needs to chill the fuck out,’ is Chase’s retort.
‘And you need to quit bein’ a dick,’ AJ shoots back.
‘We were just kidding around!’ Chase says.
‘Were you kidding around the time you locked me in the stationery supplies cupboard, and it took three hours for someone to come and let me out?’
Chase snorts, then descends into more laughter.
‘I almost suffocated,’ I add flatly.
‘It’s not fucking funny,’ AJ says, though it just seems to encourage Chase more.
Chase composes himself. ‘Think you’ll find you were there when I turned the key, Callahan. So that would make you an accessory to the fact.’
I stiffen. I didn’t know that, and there’s no denying it hurts that AJ was there. A janitor heard me banging on the door after hours that day, stuck in a stifling cupboard without windows, water or a phone on what had been a stifling hot day.
Chase is looking between us. ‘Oh ooh!’ he exclaims. ‘Looks like that’s news to your girl!’
Nicole and Balthazar have been whispering to one another. I raise my eyes as she gets to her feet and takes Balthazar by the hand.
‘Where you two going?’ Chase grunts.
‘This conversation is getting boring,’ Nicole announces. ‘We’ll be right back.’
She leads Balthazar away from the fire, into the darkness.
‘Gross,’ Chase scoffs under his breath. ‘We all know what you’re gonna do!’ he shouts after them.
Left with AJ and Chase, suddenly I don’t want to be here anymore.
‘So, Hollie,’ Chase says.
‘No more high school talk,’ AJ cuts in.
‘Jeez,’ Chase responds. ‘You people are no fun.’
We lapse into silence. On the other side of the small campfire, Chase skewers another marshmallow and dangles it close to the flames. I sip my soda, but it tastes bitter on my tongue. I swallow it down, but my throat constricts.
‘We should prolly head back soon,’ AJ says tightly.
‘Whatever,’ Chase sulks.
In the next silence that follows, we can hear the cicadas, and in the distance, on the breeze, some faint moans and groans.
It’s around ten-thirty when we make it back to Rapture.
I maneuver myself off the back of AJ’s bike after he’s cut the engine, then remove my helmet.
Rock music emanates from the inside of Scotch & Smoke.
Rows of motorcycles are parked outside but I know there are no college kids from Canyon here tonight.
Chase gets out of his truck. ‘You guys wanna go get a beer? Maybe shoot some pool? Hey, Palmer, how ’bout a rematch?’
AJ comes up behind me, putting his arm around my waist. ‘You wanna just head upstairs?’ he whispers in my ear.
I turn my head toward his. ‘Actually, I might head home,’ I say quietly.
Behind me, I feel him stiffen, like he wasn’t expecting that response. ‘Stay with me,’ I hear him say.
I want to tell him about the squall of emotion churning in my stomach right now. The memories of my unpleasant experiences in high school bubbling to the surface of my brain, so clear I can remember them as though they were yesterday.
‘I…’ I begin, not sure how to put any of that into words. ‘I’m tired. It’s been a long day.’
‘So, sleep here. With me.’
In his arms, I turn to face him. ‘It’s warm in your room. I think… I think I need some AC.’
He goes quiet. In the darkness of the Scotch & Smoke parking lot, it’s difficult to gauge his reaction.
‘But I’ll see you soon, all right?’ I add lightly, then lean forward, brushing a kiss against his cheek.
Once more he says nothing. I reach for my keys.
‘Walk me to my car?’ I ask.
It’s a short distance. I say goodbye to Nicole and Balthazar. Chase is nowhere to be seen. Still, AJ doesn’t say a word. When I open the driver’s side door, he lingers behind me.
I can’t force him to communicate. I think he senses I want to be alone. I switch on the engine and offer the man who I now know once witnessed me getting locked in a supply closet a half-hearted smile. It’s enough to mask the hurt that I feel on the inside.
Then I slam my car door shut and reverse out.