Chapter 3
JACKIE
Here I was. Staring at Sarah’s door with so many thoughts in my head.
After I ate one of the most mediocre meals I’ve ever had, I roamed the cruise ship to get a lay of the land and see what there was to get into.
I found myself back in our hallway but instead of going back to my own cabin, I stopped in front of Sarah’s.
I knew much of the past was mostly my fault, and I hated that.
I wanted to see this as an opportunity to be friends again, without interference.
Taking a deep breath, I knocked lightly on the door.
A few seconds passed with no answer, I was about to chicken out and go find something else to do.
I started to walk away when the door slowly opened.
Sarah stood there with her wild curls tucked away in a high ponytail and her eyes fresh from what looked like sleep.
Of course, she had a book tucked under her arm against her chest.
“I-I’m sorry. I didn’t interrupt anything did I?” Was my timing shit or what?
Sarah’s face lit up just then, and something in my chest felt funny. “Girl, no! I was just about to start this young adult book I picked up from the library a few days ago. Do you want to come in?”
“Sure, yeah.” I entered the space, and she shut the door behind me.
Her belongings were a little scattered and the bed looked ruffled, but otherwise the room appeared tidy.
I took a seat at the small desk, unsure and a little nervous.
I had no idea what to say to Sarah, especially with a decade and a half of no communication between us.
She must’ve felt the same way, because for all her bravado upon opening the door, she now stood there wringing her hands.
“So, where’s Timothy,” she asked quietly.
“Oh, um, we divorced about a year ago. Long story. I don’t want to rehash it right now.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t know.” I doubted she was really sorry, but I’d let her have it.
“It was for the best.” I sighed and tipped my head back.
“I’m not sure what to say except sorry, Sarah.
I know us losing contact was mostly my fault.
I didn’t stand up to him, ever. He never–well he never physically hurt me, but he used his words to enact the same sense of fear and isolation.
So, I just came to say that. Sorry.” I rubbed my sweaty hands on my thighs.
“God, Jackie. I hated him for you. So much. But you don’t owe me anything.
We were young and lots of people realize their high school sweetheart isn’t their forever.
We live and we learn. I just hope you’re okay after everything he put you through.
And maybe we can be friends again. That was the second thing that ran through my mind when I saw you standing there in the corridor. ”
“What was the first?” I tilted my head at her curiously.
“Oh, don’t worry about it. Just something I have to work through on my own.” She gave me a half smile.
“Well, if you’re not planning anything too exciting tomorrow, maybe we can hang out and do some catching up.” I shrugged, an attempt at nonchalance.
“My plans included sunscreen, drinks, and a book by one of the pools. Nothing all that titillating, but it’s relaxing for me.
” She passed me the book she’d been holding against her chest, the hardcover warm from her touch.
The illustrated cover was striking, featuring a young, Black individual wearing a messenger bag and holding a magnifying glass toward something on a wall covered in graffiti.
I opened the dustjacket to read the blurb and was intrigued.
“Sounds interesting.” I smiled and handed the book back to Sarah, who had moved to sit on the bed with her legs crossed.
“I thought so too, but I brought a couple of others in case it didn’t hold my attention.” She put the book aside and just sat there. Small talk wasn’t getting us anywhere.
“Okay, well, what time do you want to meet tomorrow?” I figured a lull in the conversation meant catching up wasn’t going to happen just yet. I didn’t blame Sarah.
“How about ten a.m.? We can lie poolside for a while then grab some lunch.” Her smile was so genuine that I was feeling optimistic about renewing our friendship.
“That works for me. Have a good rest of your evening.” I got up to leave, and Sarah shot up off the bed.
“Jackie, wait– ” She rushed forward and enveloped me in a strong, lingering hug. I started to feel that electric shock to her touch again. Just like all those years ago. And it was a confusing sensation. I embraced her back quickly then pulled away, smiling over at her.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to invade your space like that,” Sarah apologized. “I should’ve asked if it was okay.”
“It-it’s fine. It was nice. Well, tomorrow at ten a.m., right? I’ll be ready.” I gave her a bigger, more genuine smile this time and moved to head back toward my room.
I tossed and turned all night. Sleeping in unfamiliar beds did that to me.
But also, I was looking forward to reigniting a friendship with Sarah, so my mind was preoccupied.
I didn’t really have any close friends outside of my sister.
During my marriage, my friends were Timothy’s friends’ wives and girlfriends.
He got them in the divorce, naturally. This could be good for me. No, this would be good for me.
I grabbed my cell phone from the side table and checked the time.
Seven thirty-five in the morning. I slid the device back over on the table and stared at the ceiling.
I should get up and eat something once I’ve checked my blood sugar.
I felt fine, but sticking my finger in the morning gave me a good measure for the day’s food consumption.
With a normal glucose level, I showered and got ready for the day.
I still needed to find some breakfast, nourish myself.
I came upon a vast breakfast buffet and filled my plate with a cheesy omelet, diced potatoes, crispy bacon, and some fresh fruit.
Pairing my hearty meal with a cold glass of iced water, I found an empty table with a view.
I settled and dove in, savoring each delicious bite.
Sadly, a buffet meal was better than the restaurant meal I had yesterday.
I closed my eyes, lost in thought, wondering what was going on back home.
I hadn’t checked in with Steph, my little sister, since I arrived.
I should probably do that. She was the one who encouraged me to take this trip.
“Live a little.” she’d pushed, especially when I mentioned canceling it altogether after the divorce.
She insisted I still go. And my parents, well, they had mixed feelings about everything that happened.
I knew I needed to open up to them more about what I endured while married to Timothy.
I didn’t need them to agree with me, I just wanted them to be well informed.
See the whole picture. The night it happened, I’d given them the cliff’s notes version, feeling embarrassed and emotional.
They hadn’t reacted badly, quite the opposite, but they didn’t have the full picture.
I worked on clearing my thoughts and finishing up what was on my plate. It was going on nine a.m., and I wanted to have a better mood and spirit when I met up with Sarah in an hour.
I trekked back to my cabin, and once I arrived, I entered and decided to watch some TV for a bit.
I tuned in to an old sitcom, feeling nostalgic.
It lightened the air some and made me feel much better.
After a couple episodes, I gathered my things and made my way down the hall to her room.
There was more confidence in my knock this time, and Sarah answered immediately, that everbright smile wide on her freckled face.
I always thought those freckles were the cutest thing. That, and her button nose.
“Hey, good morning, Sunshine,” she chirped. I sometimes wish I had the same outgoing vibrance Sarah exuded. “Do you want to come in for a moment? I’m almost done getting ready then we can head out.”
“Sure, of course.” I stepped into her space, hearing some soft pop music playing from her phone. It was an older song about kissing girls and liking it then transitioned to a tune about girls just wanting to have fun. I laughed at myself internally.
Sarah was in the attached bathroom adding some curl cream to her hair.
Explained how she kept them so luscious and defined.
As I observed her hair routine, I realized how perfect the timing of all this was.
A relaxing vacation. Getting a second chance with an old friend.
Things that wouldn’t have happened if I was still married to Timothy.
I needed to bask in these new opportunities life and the Universe were providing me.
“Okay, all ready!” Sarah bound out of the bathroom toward me, her curls maintained in a high ponytail. She snatched up a large bag filled with necessities: towel, sunscreen, a book, a water bottle, and her phone. My tote was hanging off my shoulder filled with the same, minus a book.
We dressed light, because even though it was October, being out in that tropical sun could still be stifling.
Sarah
Jackie and I surfaced to one of the decks and found a pool with some open lounge chairs.
We picked two next to each other and sat our stuff down to get comfortable.
I rummaged through my tote and found my sunscreen first, knowing that would be my first priority.
Not only did I burn easily with such fair skin, but I also was very diligent about skincare in general.