Chapter 16
SARAH
Icalled a tea time and took a sick day off from work, ironically.
I needed to be surrounded by family. The people who provided me with unconditional warmth and love but also gave it to me straight with no chaser.
Everyone made the trek to my place, and we gathered around my living room.
I laid up on the couch bundled under a weighted blanket while Jesse held my legging-clad legs in their lap, providing further comfort.
Sakora and GiGi sat on the coffee table in front of me, soothing words spilling from them.
“I did this to myself. I know I did. I should’ve left well enough alone and just focused on something platonic with her.
” My eyes were all cried out by now, so my voice was calm but laced with the melancholy that filled my spirit.
I pulled my legs from Jesse’s lap and sat up, wiping my swollen eyes.
“I need some actual tea,” I blurted out, but as I moved to stand, GiGi took hold of my knees and halted my movements.
“I got you, friend.” A sad smile highlighted her face, popping out one of her dimples.
“Thank you,” I whispered in gratitude.
While GiGi was in my kitchen preparing tea for all of us, I began to take some deep breaths, reflecting on the last month of interactions with Jackie.
“She never set that boundary.” Jesse and Kora looked at each other, perplexed.
“Sarah, what are you talking about?” my best friend reached for my hand and clasped it tightly.
“Jackie never mentioned only wanting a casual thing between us. I specifically remember the words coming out of her mouth being ‘I want to learn to please you, Sarah.’ Does that say ‘fun’ to you guys? No, I won’t take the blame for this.
I just won’t.” This time I bolted upright, feeling like I could move past Jackie Taylor and take on the world.
I pieced my heart back together and took the mug of hot, relaxing beverage that GiGi brought back.
I wrapped my hands around it, feeling the warmth saturate my nerve endings.
Pausing before that first sip, I inhaled another deep breath.
Suddenly, I felt three pairs of arms wrap around me gingerly, taking care not to spill the literal tea.
“Sarah, you’re one of the strongest people I know, but even you must take time to grieve this. A good cry and cup of tea aren’t going to fix everything. Neither will the escapism of a book.” And there was Sakora, whose honesty never sugarcoated anything.
“Right,” I admitted bashfully and sighed. We all sat back down in companionable silence while I gathered my warring thoughts. Just then, my phone sounded with notification of an incoming email. Noticing the name of the sender, my eyes widened, almost comically.
“What is it?” Jesse inquired.
“Don’t get upset, but I’ve been keeping a secret from y’all.
” I paused my scrolling and kept my head down in guilt.
The energy of the room shifted with their narrowed eyes on me.
“The truth is, y’all know work has been a pain in the ass lately.
It’s not the job itself, but the way the clinic is run.
I love my patients, but the doctors aren’t doing enough to keep us fully staffed, and the overload in work is killing us.
Many of us across departments have spoken up, but to no avail.
That said, I applied for a position at a clinic in Houston.
A colleague works there and said they have one more NP position open.
I applied and submitted my resume. They’re offering an interview.
” Giving them time to process my news, I closed out the email and tossed my phone aside on the couch.
Nerves bubbled up inside of me, along with fear and uncertainty. Jesse was the one to break the silence.
“You’re running.” They accused.
“Running from what?” I shot back.
“From Jackie. From your feelings.” Their tone softened with sympathy.
“That’s not what this is.” My voice was steady, because yes, I was hurt over Jackie, but Jesse was dead wrong.
“I’ve been contemplating this since before I even saw Jackie. This has nothing to do with her. This job is about wanting better for myself. Wanting to be in a place that’s going to work like a well-oiled machine and will foster everyone’s best efforts instead of crushing them.”
“That may well be, but would you be seriously considering uprooting your entire life if your heart wasn’t shattered into a million pieces?” An indignant huff left me at what Jesse had to say.
“A million pieces? Please.” I was lying to them and to myself about the devastation I felt. Then a lonely tear escaped, betraying the lie. GiGi reached forward, catching the salty drop from cheek.
“It’s okay,” She reassured me softly, and a full sob broke out. I plopped back down on the sofa and rested my head on the back, letting the tears track down the side into my hair. I was at a loss for words now. Yes, I was hurt, but life didn’t stop for hurt feelings.
“Listen, babe, if Houston is what you want, we will gladly support you. A road trip down I-45 will be a blast, right folks?” Sakora rubbed my knee in comfort.
“Well, it’s just an interview.” I sniffled and inhaled deeply. Having forgotten about my tea by now, I retrieved my mug from the coaster on the table and took a long sip. It wasn’t piping hot, but still held enough heat to add to the comfort provided by my found family.
“An interview you’ll ace.” GiGi reassured me with a brilliant smile.
I chuckled as she donned her human resources hat in that moment.
After placing my tea back in its position on the coaster, I stretched my arms open and was immediately dog-piled with love and laughter.
Pieces of my heart immediately locked back into place.
Tuesday morning, I woke up feeling lighter and made the journey to the clinic.
I reviewed my schedule of appointments for the day and apologized to my coworkers for the prior day’s absence, promising to pay them back however they needed in the future.
Halfway through my day, I reread the email still sitting in my inbox, calling to me.
Even though it was just an interview, it was still looming over me.
Because I was referred by a colleague, the likelihood of the interview being a formality was high which meant if I accepted it, I might as well be packing my bags to move four hours away.
Indecision racked my brain. Sure, Houston wasn’t far, but I’d built a good life for myself here in Dallas.
My past stayed firmly rooted, and the people I called family proved their love and loyalty with very little.
It just was. In addition, there was Rainbow.
That place had a special spot in my heart.
I had to figure this out on my own. What was best for my peace of mind?
Staring back down at the email on my phone, I clicked the ‘compose’ icon, typing in my acceptance to their offer for an interview, thankful that it would be virtual. Informing them of my availability, I hit ‘send’ and tucked my phone away in my white coat.
I headed into Exam Room three to meet with my next patient, Mrs. Reynolds.
She’d been complaining of a sore throat and fever, along with some body aches.
The temperature taken during triage revealed a fever of 102.
1 and a clammy feel to her skin. I knocked, then entered the space to find her sitting in the guest chair alongside the exam table.
I greeted her while washing my hands and asked her to hop up so I could perform some triage of my own.
Her tonsils were red and swollen, as expected.
We discussed her other symptoms, and I sent prescriptions over for antibiotics and recommended something over the counter for her fever.
Since Mrs. Reynolds was my final visit for the day, I took some time to review my upcoming schedule for the rest of the week then snuck in a quick break to do some reading on the audiobook currently gracing my ears.
This one was a murder mystery by an Indigenous author I’d seen on recommendation lists that piqued my interest. The narrator had a beautifully chilling voice that kept me enthralled and distracted me from the woes of my love life, or lack of.