Olivia #2
Maggie leans in. “Oh, that’s awesome! I forgot you’re a soccer player.” She pauses. “Are you pretty set on working in a public school?”
“Maggie is the school nurse for a private academy in Fort Worth,” Gage inserts before Callie pulls him away again.
I bite my lip. “Um, I guess I don’t really have a preference. Why?”
“Private and charter schools don’t necessarily require the same certification, at least right away. It might be worth checking into if you’re wanting to get started sooner.”
Before I can ask any follow-up questions, Kent returns to the table, and there’s the shuffle of Gage returning to his seat and Maggie checking in on the phone call.
“All good,” Kent reports. “He couldn’t remember how much food to give her.”
Gage squeezes my shoulder as he walks behind me before sitting back down. I look up at him, and he raises his eyebrows, a keen glint in his eyes. I nod at him, trying to downplay the mixture of enthusiasm and nerves I feel thinking about this potential new game plan for my career.
He sits and leans close to my ear. “We can start looking when we get back to camp tonight if you want.”
“Let’s see how we feel,” I whisper back. With how nervous Gage was leading up to this dinner, he might want to decompress after this. I know he’s eager to help me, but I’m just as eager to make sure he’s good.
The server arrives with our food, and conversation dies down as we eat the burgers and steaks in front of us.
The rest of the evening flows from there.
Kent is quiet and charming. He seems to be the designated kid wrangler for the night, making it easy for Maggie to focus on Gage.
The kids are adorable and funny, especially Callie once she opens up.
It’ll be fun getting to know Duncan better this next week at camp.
Maggie is sweet and funny. She reminds me as much of Gage in her personality as she reminds me of Annie in her looks. Of course, how could I not love Maggie? She made two of my favorite people in the world.
We settle back into the Jeep after leaving the restaurant and saying our goodbyes to the Gray family until tomorrow when they’ll come to drop Duncan off for camp.
Gage is quiet, and I wonder what’s going through his head. I run my fingers along his arm and down to his hand, which I wrap up in mine. “I think it went well. Don’t you?”
He hums his assent, but he sounds tired.
We drive back to camp with a heavy silence between us in the Jeep. When Gage pulls into the staff parking lot and shuts off the engine, he rubs the heels of his hands into his eyes.
“How are you really?” I ask through the dim quiet. My question is the puncture in the balloon that forces all the air to rush out, and Gage starts ranting.
“It takes so much out of me, being ‘on’ like that in front of her. I love seeing Maggie, but it’s so hard.
I hate that everything feels so stilted between us at first whenever we get together, and then it feels like we’re both overcompensating by being extra happy, extra energetic to make up for it. ”
I shift as close to him as I can with the center console between us. I open my arms, and he sinks into them, his back practically folded in half so he can rest his head on my shoulder. He sucks in a ragged breath and continues. “Sometimes I think, ‘If she loved me so much, why did she leave me?’”
My heart cracks, thinking not only of Gage and his deep-seated hurt, but also of Maggie and how heartbreaking it must have been to place her babies in the arms of another family.
I think of my own past decisions, including the one I made to walk away from Gage so that he could have something better.
“She probably thought it was for your own good,” I murmur next to his ear.
“Yeah, in a lot of ways it was. I can’t imagine not knowing my parents, not growing up in Austin or playing baseball with the teams I did. I can’t imagine not ever meeting you. But I still wonder who Annie and I would have been if we were Maggie’s kids. It hurts thinking about missing out on that.”
I don’t know what to say to that, so I stay silent and squeeze him harder.
The fabric of my shirt under Gage’s head is damp by the time he sits up.
He wipes his eyes with the back of his hand and offers me a shaky smile.
“Thank you for being here for me tonight. At dinner and now. I lo—” He breaks off, looking flustered.
He clears his throat and tries again. “I love that you’re part of my life again. ”
Is that really what he was going to say? Somehow I doubt it. I think he stopped himself from telling me something else, something maybe he’s not ready to admit, yet. Something I’m definitely not ready to hear.
“Of course,” I tell him, running my thumbs across his cheeks to wipe off the last of the tears. “Let’s get you back to your cabin.”
We walk together to Gage’s cabin, where he gives me a soft good-night kiss outside the front door.
He stops before walking inside, glancing at me over his shoulder. “Oh, wait. Your job search.”
The range of up-and-down emotions tonight was exhausting even for me, and I was only observing. From Gage’s nerves before we left the Jeep, to being hyped up and charismatic in the restaurant, and then his crash when we got back to camp, he must be totally spent.
I shake my head. “No way. Don’t even think about it. I forbid it.”
That pulls a small smile from him. “You forbid it?”
I clasp my hands in front of me. “Yes. We’ll do it another time. I promise. Get some rest.”
“Thanks, Olivia. Good night.”
“Good night,” I whisper. I stand outside the door until Gage is fully inside. Then, I turn to walk to my own cabin.
I love that Gage is part of my life again, too.