Gage
Chapter thirty
“What’s going on, bud? You okay?” I rub my face, trying to wake up enough to deal with whatever this is.
“I don’t know. I got up to go to the bathroom, and my face felt weird, and I looked in the mirror and … look!”
I blink my eyes. Then blink again. Finally, I can make out Duncan’s features in the low light. Except they aren’t exactly Duncan’s normal features.
His face is puffy, the skin around his eyes so swollen that he’s looking at me through narrow slits. I touch my hand to his forehead and then his cheek. His skin is warm.
My first instinct is to swear, but I remember myself and instead draw from everything I learned in training and remain calm, at least on the outside.
Through all the training though, if I imagined an emergency at all, it was one involving a kid I was responsible for but didn’t really know.
But this is Duncan, who I held in my arms for the first time when he was hours old.
Who toddled around the yard after me those summers in Fort Worth when I was in middle school.
This is my little brother, and it takes all my willpower to tamp down the panic and think through the problem rationally.
I need to get him to the camp nurse.
First, though, I try to reassure him as I climb out of my bunk. “It’s okay, buddy. We’ll get you taken care of. I’ll be with you the whole time.”
“What’s wrong with me?” he asks in a pitiful little voice.
“I don’t know, but we’re going to go see Ms. Hannah, and she’ll know exactly how to help. Now, go get some shoes on.”
He runs off to find his shoes while I shake Jayden awake to let him know I’m taking Duncan to the nurse, and he’s in charge. Jayden’s eyes widen, but he nods resolutely and sits up in bed.
I slip on my flip-flops and wait for Duncan by the cabin door. When he shuffles up next to me, he hands me a flashlight, switched off.
“I thought we’d need it for the walk to the nurse’s cabin,” he whispers.
“Good thinking,” I whisper back, kicking myself for not being the one to think of this detail.
Once outside, I switch on the flashlight. “Close your eyes,” I instruct Duncan, and then shine the light on his face so I can see it better.
In addition to the swelling, his skin looks red, especially in one section of his right cheek.
Did he get bitten by a spider? Is it an allergic reaction to something?
I try to remember if Duncan has any allergies, but nothing comes to mind.
Is it because he’s not allergic to anything, or because I only see him a handful of weeks a year?
I drop the beam of light back to the ground in front of us. “Okay, let’s go.” I take his hand and hold onto it, even though he’s probably too old for such a thing. He doesn’t pull away.
We walk across camp to the nurse’s cabin and knock on the door. Hannah, an older woman who works as a school nurse during the year and spends her summers treating poison ivy and sunburns at Camp Prairie Star, flips on the cabin’s outside light and opens the door.
“Everything okay?” she asks. Her graying hair is piled on top of her head in a claw clip, and the sash of her plaid robe is tied around her waist.
“Um, we’re not sure,” I answer, gesturing to Duncan’s face.
Hannah steps closer and uses her hand under Duncan’s chin to tilt his head toward the light. “Oh my. You two better come in.”
She steps back through the doorway, and I nudge Duncan inside behind her.
Her cabin is set up as an infirmary, with two cots near the front of the room and a long desk with medical supplies lining the back wall. Beyond that are two doors, one that leads to a bathroom, and one that leads to Hannah’s bedroom space.
Hannah has Duncan sit on one of the cots as she takes his temperature from his forehead with one of those infrared thermometers.
When it beeps, she looks at the screen and hums. She asks his name and taps on the screen of a tablet, presumably to bring up the medical forms Maggie and Kent must have filled out.
“It says no allergies,” she says, almost to herself. Then, setting down the tablet, she snaps on a pair of latex gloves and examines his face. She touches the swollen areas gently with her fingers as she keeps up a stream of reassuring words.
I slump into a chair near the front door. Watching her work and knowing Duncan is in good hands, I’m able to relax.
“Did you go on a nature hike in the woods yesterday, Mr. Duncan?” she asks with a soft smile.
Duncan’s mouth falls open. “Yes. How did you know?”
Hannah glances toward me. “Is Gage your counselor?”
“Yes,” Duncan answers.
“I’m also his brother,” I add, in case the family connection entitles me to additional information.
“Has he ever had anything like this happen before?” she asks me.
I should know the answer to that, but I don’t. I lift an arm helplessly. “I’m not sure. We’ve never lived together.”
Hannah regards me with kind but curious eyes. “That’s all right.” She pulls off the gloves and turns her attention back to Duncan. “Looks like skeeter syndrome to me.”
Despite being tired and worried, I crack a smile and exchange an amused look with Duncan. “That can’t be a real thing.”
Hannah smiles back. “Oh, but it is. Just means that he had an allergic reaction to a mosquito bite. You can see the bite mark here on his right cheek. I’ll give him Benadryl and put some hydrocortisone cream on his face.
Both are on the list of preapproved medications his parents gave us permission to administer.
He has a slight fever, but I’m not too worried about that.
” She looks at her watch. “I’ll need to call his parents and let them know what happened, but it’s not urgent so we’ll let his poor momma sleep a little longer. ”
“When will my face get better?” asks Duncan.
“The medicine should help the swelling go down within a few hours, but the symptoms might persist for a couple of weeks. If the Benadryl controls the swelling, I think we can get you out of here and back to your friends by tonight.”
Duncan wilts. “I have to stay here all day? I’ll miss the color war.”
Hannah gives him a sympathetic look. “I know, but I don’t want you running around in the heat and sun until we get the swelling down.”
Duncan looks at me with pleading eyes. “Gage?”
I don’t want him out in the heat right now either, but it’s a bummer for him to have to miss the color war. I’d volunteer to stay with him here today, but I can’t leave the other boys, even with Jayden on duty.
“I’ll come hang out with you here when I can, and what if I send my friend Olivia to see you, too? Remember, from dinner the other night? And she’s the counselor who helps with the boats?”
Duncan nods miserably. I pull out my phone and text Olivia a heads-up. I’ll stop by her cabin before breakfast.
Hannah has Duncan drink a small cup of liquid Benadryl and applies a thick, goopy cream to his face, especially around the mosquito bite.
When she finishes, he lies down on the cot and extends his hand to me. “You’re not leaving now, are you?”
I take his hand and check my phone. I still have time before I need to get the rest of the boys up and ready for the day. “No, I’m staying for a little while longer.”
His expression relaxes, and he closes his eyes. I sit with him until I’m sure he’s asleep, and then I let go of his hand. I stand and stretch.
Hannah walks back into the room. She changed out of her robe and into her clothes for the day.
“He’s asleep,” I tell her.
“The Benadryl will make him drowsy. I talked to his mother on the phone, and she confirmed he’s had a reaction like this once before, when he was a toddler.”
“Thanks,” I say. I rub my eyes, weary not only from waking up too early, but also from the emotional stress of the last couple of hours. I wish there was more I could do to make Duncan comfortable.
“Duncan’s going to be fine, Gage,” Hannah says, as if reading my mind. She rests a hand on my shoulder. “It’s a little allergic reaction. He’ll feel up to joining his friends again tomorrow.”
I blink against the threatening tears and summon a smile. “I know. Thank you.” I point toward the door. “I need to get back to my cabin, but I’ll come check on him throughout the day. Olivia will probably also stop by.”
She smiles at me. “We’ll see you later, then.”
I step out the door of the infirmary and almost bump into Olivia. She’s dressed in the shorts and oversized T-shirt she wears as pajamas, her hair pulled back in a messy bun.
Without speaking, she wraps her arms around me, pressing her head against my chest. I return the squeeze, and we stand in the hug for several minutes. I breathe in the rosemary and mint of her shampoo, and my pulse slows. My worried thoughts quiet down.
“Good morning,” I say finally, brushing a kiss against her forehead.
“Morning. How’s Duncan?” She leans back to see my face.
I take a breath. “Good. He had an allergic reaction to a mosquito bite. Hannah gave him some medicine, and he’s sleeping now.”
Olivia brings her hand up to my face to brush away a strand of hair. “And how are you?”
I meet her eyes. “I’ve been better.”
Her lips form a small smile. “I figured.”
“I was scared,” I admit. “I didn’t know what was wrong with him, but his whole face was swollen. I wanted him to be okay.”
“I know.” Her hand against my cheek, she smooths a thumb over my stubble. “You’ll make a great dad someday, Gage.”
And oh man, I am gone for this woman, because even with everything else going on, my first thought is I don’t want it unless it’s with you.
Olivia and I take turns hanging out with Duncan in the infirmary, and as predicted, the swelling has gone down enough for him to rejoin our cabin Thursday night. Pending a checkup in the morning, Hannah clears him to return to normal activity on Friday for the final day of camp.
Duncan’s cabinmates herald his return by making him the star of the skit they’ll be performing for the parents. I even let them add a few fart jokes.
Maggie, Kent, and Callie are back for Skit Night, with Maggie fussing over Duncan’s mosquito bite. Hannah told us that the swelling might not go away completely for another week.
After the skits wind down with the fire and Duncan is packed into the car with his sister and dad, Maggie pulls me aside to say goodbye.
“Thanks for taking care of Duncan this week,” she says, squeezing my arm. “You’re a good counselor and a great big brother.”
Her words make me stand taller, my chest expanding. I’m a great big brother to Duncan.
Though I tease Annie about being ten minutes older than her, I’ve never really considered myself a “big brother” before. Now I want to buy a T-shirt with the phrase “World’s Best Big Brother” emblazoned on the front. Though I guess getting a shirt like that for myself wouldn’t be very meaningful.
“Thank you,” I tell Maggie. “That means a lot.”
She opens her mouth as if to say something else, then hesitates.
“What’s up?” I ask her.
“Well, I wanted to say that while I don’t exactly regret not raising you and Annie myself—your parents are amazing and did such a good job with you both—I do think about what it would have been like to be your mom.
I’ve tried to be part of your lives as much as possible, but I know our relationship is more like I’m a cool, young aunt than any kind of mother figure. ”
I shake my head, tears threatening behind my eyes as I hear the uncertainty and sorrow in her voice. “Maggie, no. It’s fine. We’re fine.”
“No, I know you are.” She brings her left hand to my other shoulder so that she has a hand on either side of me. She looks up into my face. It’s almost comical because I’m so much taller than her, but the moment is too fraught to be funny.
“I want to make sure you know I love you. You’re my family, Gage.
You came from inside of me. I carried you and nurtured you and talked to you for thirty-six weeks even though I was scared out of my mind and had no idea what to do.
I never stopped missing either of you after I placed you in Dawn and Ted’s arms. Even when you were with me, right next to me, I missed you.
I missed what our relationship could have been. ”
I sniffle and wipe my wet cheek against the fabric of my shirt. Everything she’s saying resonates with the deepest parts of me. The parts of me that have been afraid of burdening Maggie with my feelings. The parts of me that weren’t sure if she yearned for me like I do for her.
“I feel the same way. Honestly. I … I sometimes imagine what it would have been like to stay with you. As far back as I remember I’ve done that.”
The sorrow on Maggie’s face about does me in, and I’m hit with a wave of guilt that my admission may have sounded like I blamed her. I shake my head. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”
She lets go of my shoulders to wipe her eyes. “No, I’m glad you did. You can tell me the truth, Gage. Even if it’s hard to hear, I’ll listen.”
I wrap her in a bear hug, grateful to have the example of such a strong woman in my life. Adoption hasn’t been a smooth experience for either of us. Having good parents raise me didn’t take away the sting of being separated, but maybe it made it easier for both of us to bear.
Maggie pulls back to look me in the face again. “I’m proud of you, Gage. I’m proud of the man you’ve become.”
“Thanks,” I choke out around the emotion clogging my throat.
“Listen,” she says. “What if you all came to spend Christmas with us this year? You and Annie, and Dawn and Ted. Even Olivia, if you want. We can all celebrate together, like families should.”
“I’d love that. I’ll talk to Annie and my parents.
” I grimace. So much is still uncertain in my undefined relationship with Olivia.
I’d love to be wherever she is in December.
I’d love for her to celebrate Christmas by my side with my family.
But all I can do is hope. “I don’t know about Olivia, though. ”
Maggie’s eyes soften, and she gives me a melancholic smile. “You love her.”
It’s not a question, so I don’t offer a confirmation or denial. I give her a hug and wave goodbye until the car is out of sight.