Gage
Chapter thirty-six
“What’s next?” Olivia asks, her hands warm on my shoulders and her smile lighting up my whole world.
Man, I’ve missed her.
After camp, when I realized Olivia was ghosting me again, I crashed pretty hard. After a while, that initial gut-punched feeling where my chest was cracked open and my limbs were filled with bricks faded, in time for me to start school.
My new classes gave me something to look forward to, but I still kept thinking, Maybe she’ll call. Maybe she’ll show up at my house. When I saw her leaning against the front of my Jeep in the parking lot, the scene was like I had pictured it a thousand times. Except better.
Her flowery shorts and white tank top looked bright and fresh against the backdrop of parked cars. Her face looked like a mirage in the desert. And I definitely noticed that she’s wearing the bracelet I made for her at camp.
I lift my eyebrows. “Dinner? I want to hear all about your new job.”
I look down at my scrubs. I had anatomy lab today, which means if I don’t smell like formaldehyde, it’s a miracle.
“Give me thirty minutes, and I’ll come pick you up at your house.”
She starts to protest. “I can meet you—”
I cut her off. “Please, Olivia. Please let me come pick you up for a proper date.”
She nods shyly, and this is new. Olivia is not shy. I think back to that first night at Camp Prairie Star when she admitted her fear of vulnerability. But she’s being vulnerable with me now. She stripped herself bare, and I don’t take the sacrifice for granted.
If she’s trusting me with her feelings, trusting that I’ll protect them, I can try to trust her to stay. To communicate. To love me the way I love her.
I’m nothing if not an eternal optimist.
If she’s really ready this time, if she truly wants to become serious, if she actually is in love with me the way I’ve been suspecting for half the summer, I can’t walk away from that possibility.
I kiss Olivia goodbye for now and drive home.
My parents are still at work, so there’s no one to see me grinning like an idiot as I take a shower and change my clothes. I’m back out the door in record time, texting Olivia as I lock up behind me. I’m guessing she must have unblocked my number, right?
I drive her two exits down the MoPac to Rudy’s Bar-B-Q. To the uninitiated, this Rudy’s looks like a hole in the wall attached to a gas station, but it’s been a go-to barbecue stop for Olivia, Annie, and me since high school.
I’ve never had barbecue better than their moist brisket. Add to that the slightly spicy sauce and some cream corn on the side with banana pudding for dessert, and it comes pretty close to my perfect meal.
No, not the fanciest spot for a first official date, but between the nostalgia factor and how much I know Olivia loves Rudy’s, I’m certain it will be the perfect choice.
When she hops out of the Jeep and beams up at me, holding my arm like she can’t bear to let me go again, I know I’m right. Maybe about more than the restaurant.
We file through the line, picking up our cold sides and drinks, then ordering the hot food from the workers behind a butcher-style counter.
I pay, and we decide to eat outside in the backyard. We sit side by side on the bench of one of the picnic tables facing a castle-themed wooden playground.
Olivia takes a bite of her potato salad in a way that makes me wish I was a spoon. She swallows the food and takes a swig from her bottle of Dr Pepper.
Setting the bottle back on the table, she tilts her head toward me and says, “I’m really happy you agreed to give me another chance, but I have a couple of conditions.”
I feel the corners of my mouth edge up as I marvel at Olivia’s confidence. “You’re putting conditions on me taking you back?” My amusement is evident in the tone of my voice.
“Yes," she answers with a pert nod.
“Okay. Of course you are. What are they?”
I’m suddenly nervous again as she wets her lips. “Well, the first is that I think we should see a therapist together.” She rushes ahead without giving me a chance to comment. “I want a healthy relationship with you that lasts for a long time.”
The relief I feel at her suggestion loosens a band of anxiety around my heart. I smile at her. “I love that idea.” But I have conditions of my own. “I’d want to see someone adoption-competent. Would it be weird for us to go to the therapist I already see? Dr. Francine does couple’s sessions too.”
“That’s fine with me. Can you set it up?”
“Consider it done.” I move my hand from the table to her knee, squeezing it. “What’s your second condition?”
She chews her bottom lip, and I shove a forkful of brisket in my mouth to soften the blow of whatever she’s going to say next.
“Okay, this is tricky,” Olivia starts hesitantly. “I’m not even sure I want to suggest it, except that I think it’s important and will be good for us in the long term.”
“What is it?” I ask around the food in my mouth.
“Well … I think we should stop kissing.”
My sharp intake of breath sucks the last piece of brisket in my mouth down the wrong pipe, and I choke. Olivia starts to stand up to help, but I wave her away and cough violently into my hand. Finally, I take a big gulp of soda to clear my throat.
Through wide watery eyes, I stare at Olivia. “Why?” I rasp out.
Her face turns red, and she pauses as if considering her words. “I don’t know if you’ve noticed,” she says carefully, “but we have a lot of physical chemistry.”
I take another drink of my soda. “Uh yeah, well aware. Isn’t that a good thing?”
“It is, but I’m worried we used it as a crutch all summer to avoid dealing with our deeper emotional connection.”
She’s chewing on her bottom lip again, and I wonder if she realizes that between this whole no-kissing condition and the attention she’s drawing to her mouth, she’s torturing me.
“You’re the one who introduced the word fling,” I grumble.
She sighs. “I know, and I did it because I hoped to keep things between us surface-level. But now, that’s the last thing I want. Is it what you want?”
I take my eyes off her mouth and meet her gaze. “It never was.”
Her cheeks turn pink again. “Okay, good. So, I’m not saying forever, but until we work through some of this emotional baggage, let’s take kissing off the table.”
I smirk, the opening too perfect to pass up. “It doesn’t have to be on the table. Could be on the couch, in my Jeep, wherever.”
“Gage.” She groans. “I’m trying to be serious here.”
She really is trying. I can see she’s serious about getting our relationship right this time around. I am, too. But still, no kissing?
“I know, but I don’t see how not kissing will help anything. All summer, our emotional connection grew anyway despite us focusing on the physical.”
“Exactly. So, probably our physical connection will grow anyway while we take some time to focus on the emotional.”
Despite how much I hate this idea, Olivia’s reasoning makes sense.
“Is hugging okay?” I ask.
She looks at me like I’m the biggest idiot in the world. “Of course.”
“What about if I kiss the top of your head or your forehead?”
She considers her response to this question. “Yeah, I think we avoid, like, lip-to-lip kissing.”
“What about—”
Olivia groans. “Gage,” she says, elongating the name so that it’s four syllables instead of its usual one. “We’re not going to write out a list of dos and don’ts. Let’s make sure we’re spending our time together talking rather than making out.”
“Fine,” I grumble, but I still think I’m going to need more to go on. There are an awful lot of possibilities that can include talking, but don’t go as far as making out.
At the same time, I don’t want to give Olivia the impression that I’m more interested in her lips than anything else. I’m interested in all of her, and her lips happen to be a part of that. I also would never do anything she wasn’t completely comfortable with.
“I’m sorry,” I tell her. “I’m on board with both of your conditions.”
She pats my arm, letting her hand linger. “If it’s any consolation, I think that second condition will be as difficult for me as it will be for you.”
Knowing that does help, actually. I smirk and lean closer to her, pressing my lips to her temple in the most sensual way I can manage.
I’ll need to do my part of the work to build that good emotional foundation Olivia’s talking about. And fast.
After we finish eating, I stack our trays and gather the trash to throw away. When I return from the garbage cans on the other side of the porch, Olivia looks thoughtful.
“What’s up?” I ask.
“Have you told Annie about us yet?” she asks.
I shake my head. Flashbacks of the summer slam into my consciousness, and I’m worried she’ll suggest keeping our relationship a secret again.
My worries evaporate when she grins. “Good, let’s stop by her house to announce the news.”
I fish my phone out of my pocket. “Let me text her to make sure she’s home.”
Gage:
Are you home?
“Did she know you were planning to come talk to me today?” I ask.
“She knew I was going to do something on some Thursday because I asked her about your schedule, but she didn’t know the details.”
My phone pings with Annie’s reply.
Nini:
Yeah. Doing some writing
Gage:
Is it okay if I stop by?
Nini:
Everything okay?
Gage:
Just need to talk
Nini:
[sad face emoji] Of course
I slide my phone back into my pocket. “I think she thinks I’m moping.” Again.
It’s a fair assumption. Over the last few weeks, I’ve spent almost as much time brooding on her couch as I have my own.
The corners of Olivia’s mouth pull down, and she wraps her arms around my middle. “I’m sorry, Gage.”
I raise my eyebrows. “And how have you been feeling these last couple of weeks?”
She squeezes me. “Miserable.”
As much as I don’t like the thought of Olivia being unhappy, knowing she was unhappy because she wasn’t with me feels pretty good.
“Then we’re even.”
I wonder if Annie will see it that way, though. If she’s still supportive of Olivia and I getting together. Guess we’ll find out soon.
Thirty minutes later, we’re standing at the door to Annie’s apartment downtown near Lady Bird Lake.
I knock, and when Annie opens the door clad in purple pajama pants and an oversized T-shirt, Olivia and I raise our joined hands and shout, “Surprise!”
Annie shuffles back a step, her hand flying to her chest. Once she gets her bearings, she claps her hands and squeals in a pitch so high that every dog within a mile radius is probably on their way to her apartment right now.
I guess I don’t have to worry about my sister being supportive of Olivia and me as a couple.
Annie puts her hands on her hips. “You two crazy kids finally figured it out, huh?”
As we move past her to enter the apartment, I pull her into a hug. “By the way, if you lost your voice, it’s in my right ear.”
Annie laughs and rolls her eyes. “Okay, Dad.”
I cringe, because yep, that is a joke our dad tells all the time.
“I opened a new package of Oreos today,” Annie says as Olivia and I settle onto the couch. “Would either of you like some?”
“No, thanks,” Olivia answers for us. “We had dinner at Rudy’s.”
Annie’s eyes widen. “You went to Rudy’s without me?”
Olivia and I exchange a look. “We were on a date,” I explain.
Annie bites her lip. “Oh, right. Of course.” She shakes her head. “This is going to take some getting used to.”
We fill her in on our evening. Well, mostly Olivia does. I’ll admit that it feels a little weird to have the same best friend as my girlfriend. Like Annie said, this will take some getting used to for all of us.
Eventually, we let Annie get back to her writing, with Olivia promising her they’ll talk more later.
The sky outside is bright and clear, and the night is still young, so Olivia and I walk the short distance to the lake and sit on a bench overlooking the water.
Olivia lays her head on my shoulder, and I wrap my arm around her.
“We still have a lot to talk about,” I remind her. “Going all the way back to high school.”
Olivia sighs. “I know. But not tonight.”
I drum my fingers against the armrest of the bench. “So, this whole no-kissing thing. When does that start?”
Smirking, Olivia looks up at me. She pretends to consider the question. “Tomorrow?”
“Thank you,” I mumble before capturing her lips with mine. “Tomorrow it is.”