Love Beyond the Illusion (Tangerine Sky #2): A Steamy Opposites Attract, Accidental Marriage Romance

Chapter One

Tucking my arm underneath the silk pillowcase, I roll over to the sound of my New York hookup snoring next to me. I stare at Landon’s three-hundred-dollar haircut, square jaw, and alluring lips and wonder why I’m not more attracted to him.

The lack of moving air from a ceiling fan and the absence of the hum of an air conditioner leave a dense silence in the room. My overactive thoughts flip through the events of my childhood, how I grew up, and the choices I’ve made as an adult. It doesn’t matter how old I get. They still seem to follow me.

Landon is getting married in a month. Despite knowing this, I showed up tonight as if nothing had changed. A guy engaged normally wouldn’t bother me. I mean, it’s his choice to continue sleeping with me, right? I’m not the one who’s committed to someone else.

When we returned to the suite he booked, a wave of guilt rolled over me. I couldn’t do it. And no matter how much of my mother is in me, I’m still part me as well.

I let my eyes trace the features of Landon’s face while thinking about the wife he’s about to have. She’ll wake up to this view every morning. I’m not surprised when envy isn’t the emotion that strikes, and that’s because I also feel pity. My pity isn’t only on her behalf because I doubt she’s completely in the dark. It’s for their future children and those who will come from his possible affairs. Landon mentioned his impending nuptials during a casual conversation over dinner. I sat across from him with my wine glass empty and my thoughts full, unsure how to answer his question.

Am I that person?

As a flight attendant, I fly in and out of New York City so often that Landon and I could easily keep this going like the last few months.

Suddenly, the thought of lying in bed next to him makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. Where is his fiancée? Where did he tell her he’d be tonight?

I’ve got to get the hell out of here.

I lift my phone from the floor next to the bed to text one of my best friends.

Me: I’m bored and need to get out of here. Meet me in the lobby in 15?

Lina is with Landon’s twin, Finn, in the suite next door, and I’m sure my text is interrupting the multiple orgasms she’s receiving. I would be right there with her if not for my sudden melancholy lately. I wish I could say it began after Landon shared the news of him getting married, but it started well before then.

Lina: Same. I’ll be right down.

Lina and I met Landon and Finn a few months ago while they were on a flight from New York to Los Angeles. They’re trust fund babies and live up to that title to the fullest. Each time we fly into New York City, they take us both out for dinner at impossible-to-get-into restaurants while putting us up in expensive hotel suites for a night of fucking on every single surface. Having a guaranteed hookup is nice, but I’m anxious and ready to move on.

Me: Thank goodness. Don’t forget anything.

Pinching Landon’s wrist between two fingers, I gingerly lift his arm draping across my torso. Resting it to the side, I slide off the bed and pull the comforter up in my place. I complained of a stomachache earlier this evening to get out of sleeping with him, but then he insisted on staying the night to care for me.

I guess that was sweet. I want to assume that he’ll extend that same compassion to his future wife, but the realist in me knows better. The true reason that he stayed was horny hope that I’d suddenly feel better in the middle of the night and want a quick fuck.

With bare feet, I tiptoe over to my suitcase because I hate being without socks on hotel floors, and I don’t want to wake up Landon. I shove the rest of my clothes inside, then hurry to the bathroom to swipe my toiletries bag from the white marble countertop. Being extremely quiet, I squish it into my suitcase.

Ugh. I wish there were a fucking air conditioner or some sort of sound.

I yank my hoodie off the back of an oversized chair, slip it over my head, and then carefully put on my athletics shoes. When I have everything packed, I glance around the room one more time before my eyes fall on Landon’s sleeping body. It was fun while it lasted. But I can’t be the other woman.

I’m sure he’ll understand.

“Goodbye, Landon. Be faithful to your wife,” I whisper before quietly slipping out the door.

My eyes are heavy with exhaustion on the elevator ride down to the lobby, but when I see my best friend’s playful smile, I break out into a full belly laugh.

“Did we just ditch the twins in the middle of the night?” Lina calls out as I wheel my luggage across the mosaic-tiled floors.

“Yep!” I laugh.

“They’re going to be pissed.”

“Whatever.” I shrug my shoulders. “Landon’s getting married. Honestly, they’re replaceable anyway.”

“True. Did you get one last ride, though?” she teases, nudging my shoulder.

I sigh. “No, I felt guilty.”

“She does have a conscience!” Lina smirks.

I’m the product of an affair and have been aware of that most of my life. My father was no more than a stranger to me. He was a simple man who paid his mistress to keep herself and his daughter a secret.

My father saw me as a burden—he’d already had his real family, so why did he need another? This was something that never bothered my mother as long as he kept the checks coming. Everything is about money with her. My mother has always been hyper-focused on how fast she can make a quick buck. She has freely discussed what she is entitled to from her lovers to our family. Will this relative die so she’d get her small windfall? When would that family member pass so she’d finally get the inheritance she thought she deserved?

The realization that my father paid my mother to keep me away became an unwanted passenger through every relationship I’ve had. It didn’t help that my mother only looked at me as her potential income. My parents used me like traded goods. Growing up in that environment left me untrusting, hyper-independent, and unable to feel like I deserved love.

“Don’t act so surprised.” I roll my eyes. “What about you?”

“No, I wasn’t in the mood.” Lina frowns.

“You, not in the mood? Me, having guilt? What the hell is wrong with us?”

“I don’t know. Maybe we’re both tired of these lackluster men with their inability to use their penises properly?” The side of her mouth quirks up. “Just kidding. I’m flying into Boston next week, and you know what that means? I get to spend my overnight with Boston Jeff, and he’s about a seven out of ten with his natural abilities.”

“Mmm.” I giggle. “Good in bed, but a little more emotional for your liking.”

“Yes.” She runs her tongue along the outside of her teeth. “Now he gets the job done well.”

“He reminds me of Chris. You know, the one I met at the Pike Place Fish Market in Seattle last summer?” I ask.

Lina smiles. “Yes! I remember you were so disgusted by the fish smell everywhere.”

“It was bad.” I giggle. “We should grab a cab soon before Landon and Finn notice that we’re gone,” I interrupt her, suddenly realizing how long we’d been standing in the lobby.

Lina and I were dropped off at the hotel the airline booked for us a short time later.

“I’m starving. Let’s get some pancakes,” I say, gesturing toward a small cafe to the left of the check-in counter.

She arches an eyebrow. “It’s three in the morning.”

“It’s not like we’re going to sleep anytime soon anyway.”

She clicks her tongue. “Fine.”

We walk over to the twenty-four-hour bistro to order pancakes to go. The woman behind the counter looks like a college student hopped up on too much coffee.

While we wait, I glance over at Lina. She’s leaning against the pastry display case, letting out a wide yawn. My best friend is exhausted and should be in bed. We aren’t required to report back to the airport until ten in the morning, which is plenty of time for me, but she’s not a night owl like I am.

I lower my eyes, playfully glaring at her. “Don’t act like you don’t have fun with me whenever we’re on the same flight crew.”

“Oh, I have fun with you.” She takes a finger and rubs the side of her eye. “I just always go home with less sleep than usual.”

Unlike Lina, I’m not tired. My mind is restless at night, and if I were to give in to my urges entirely, I’d hit the hotel gym for a good workout preceding my sleep.