Chapter Thirteen
Rolling over a few times in the king-sized bed, I try to fall back asleep, but my brain refuses to shut off. It’s like a continuous carousel of things I’ve done and the decisions I could have made differently. I flip over onto my back and stare at the white ceiling. My body is restless, and my mind is active. Now that I’m in Dupara, the weight of what Jack and I agreed to do is beginning to settle.
What type of person agrees to be the fake girlfriend of a guy she barely knows? People who are damaged, that’s who. People who know what “normal” people would do but always end up doing the complete opposite.
I squeeze my eyes shut, blocking out reality. But soon, I hear the echo of Roxy’s voice in my head from when I was a child. She has repeatedly told me I’ll never be good enough for anyone because I am an extension of her. We’d always have to be together since every man I’d ever tried to love would eventually leave me like they’ve all done to her. My mother’s words are now my internal dialogue. When I was a child, and now as an adult, it’s hard to distinguish her words from my thoughts.
I need to get out of this damn room to clear my head.
I throw off the covers and swing my legs over the side, letting my feet touch the soft pile of carpet. Grabbing a white robe from behind the bathroom door, I creep down the hallway as quietly as I can. The lights are off in the villa, making it pitch-black around me. Jack is sleeping only a short distance away on the couch, so turning on any lights is out of the question.
I map the kitchen from memory and feel my way to the refrigerator. The low light from the open door will let me grab a quick snack and return to the bedroom without being noticed. Guided by the edge of the counter, I run my hand across the smooth, cold surface of the tile. I move quickly when suddenly fingertips glide over smooth fabric and a warm, firm bump.
“Can I help you?” A soft voice emerges from the darkness.
Jack? Oh my god! The heavy vibration from my heart echoes in my ears. Jack is directly in front of me. The light flips on, illuminating the kitchen and exposing where I’m standing. Our bodies are almost flush, and my palm comfortably rests on top of his length. Which is semi-hard.
“Oh my god!” I scream, instantly jerking my hand away and stumbling back.
Jack chuckles. He’s leaning against the counter with a half-eaten apple in one hand while the other is folded under his bent arm. “If you wanted to know what my cock feels like, all you had to do is ask.”
Heat burns the back of my neck. My throat constricts with horror. Shoving my face into my hands, I try to pretend that this did not happen. “I’m so sorry! This is humiliating.” One side of his mouth is quirked up while his broad shoulders bounce with laughter. “What are you doing up anyway?” I snap, slightly annoyed at what I just did.
“I was looking for a good time.” He chews through a smile. “And I seem to have found one.”
“Ha. Ha.” I snicker, then peer over at the stiff-looking sofa. “You really don’t have to stay on the couch.” I feel guilty in the larger bed while he’s clearly having trouble on the couch. “I realize our current situation is making things—uh, a bit tricky, but I really don’t mind.”
“That’s not why I couldn’t sleep. I’m not always a sound sleeper and wouldn’t want to disturb you.” He leans back and crosses his ankles together.
I lower my eyes, shuffling my feet in place. “I understand that.”
“Why are you up?” he asks.
“I couldn’t sleep either.”
He smiles, and I’m sucked back into the energy from his blue eyes. I quickly look away. My chest feels light and airy. I decide to drag my focus back to him, locking my eyes with his. Breathing in his energy once again before pulling away. “Looks like we have something in common.”
The more I get to know Jack, the more I’m drawn to him. We both battle sleep. I’m not sure yet what deprives him—whether it’s demons or his own insecurities, but I’m craving to know. “The nights don’t just plague you. They come for me too,” I admit, pressing my lips together.
“Is that why you decided to come out here to feel me up?”
I turn toward the refrigerator, rolling my eyes. “Yes, that’s exactly why.”
“At least you admit it,” he retorts.
Nothing looks good, so I shut the refrigerator door behind me. “What’s your story? Why are you eating an apple in the dark at three in the morning?”
Jack hands it to me, but not before stealing another bite. I briefly pause before taking it from him. Is he giving it to me to hold? No. He wants to share it with me. Now, this looks good enough to eat. With a smile on my face, I bring it to my lips and take a small bite.
Following the movements of my mouth, he clears his throat. “I had all these new marketing ideas running through my mind, and I wanted to get them flushed out before I forget all of them.” He shrugs. “Then, I got hungry.”
“Ideas for the winery?” I hand it back to him, half assuming he wouldn’t want it anymore.
Jack circles it with his fingers a few times, keeping his eyes trained on me. When he finds the spot I bit, he opens his mouth and sinks his teeth into it. Purposefully avoiding the peel’s obvious unbitten areas like a typical person would. “Yeah.” He holds his hand out again. “There are so many moving parts with this whole thing that my brain just doesn’t stop.”
It’s three in the morning. I’m stuck with him for the next week and a half—I guess I can play. I lean forward and sink my teeth into the apple. It’s even more delicious after his lips and tongue have been all over it. That’s right, I can play too.
Jack’s eyes fall to my mouth.
“Those ideas must have been good if they woke you up in the middle of sleep.” I pretend to be unbothered by how his eyes flare. I see movement from underneath my bottom lashes. Jack brings a gentle thumb to my lower lip and wipes a drop of juice that I didn’t realize was there. My lips tingle and unintentionally part under the heat of his touch.
“My brain likes to work overdrive while I’m trying to sleep. Some of my best ideas have come to me between the hours of one and four in the morning.” He wipes it away but takes care in going slow until he reaches the corner of my mouth. A bolt of electricity surges down my back and settles between my legs when he takes his finger and brings it to his mouth to lick it off.
I pull in as much air as possible through my nostrils, trying to keep myself from passing out. Fuck, that was hot.
He casually takes another bite. “So, what plagues your nights?”
I pause for a moment, diving into myself and contemplating a response to his question. We’ve developed a unique relationship, but I still don’t know him well enough to fully commit to sharing my emotional baggage—my mother. I’ve kept the complex layers of my childhood and the details of Roxy hidden from most people for as long as I can remember. And I don’t plan on letting anyone else in.
But I do feel safe enough to give him something. “I have a complicated relationship with my mother.”
Jack adjusts himself against the granite counter. “Sorry to hear that. I didn’t have the best relationship with my father either.”
“I wish things were different.”
“Don’t we all? The emotional toll of a strained relationship with a parent is a heavy feeling.” His voice is low, and his words sound sincere.
I feel my shoulders relax a little. I want to believe that Jack would fully understand Roxy, but it’s impossible. He might think he’s relating to me, but no one truly knows unless you lived it. I let out a deep sigh. “Anxiety, my own demons, thoughts of inadequacy. They all play in a never-ending loop as well.”
Jack lifts the apple to his mouth one more time, making sure I see him run his tongue along the sweet flesh. Everything comes to a halt. I hungrily watch as his lips push out. I startle when my panties dampen, imagining his mouth buried inside the wet heat between my legs. He takes that last bite and then tosses it into the trash.
“We all have our own demons. They just visit us in different ways,” he breaks the silence.
I’m shaking myself out of it—we’re still engaged in a conversation. “Yes, I deeply feel that statement. The mind of an overthinker is a black hole of what-ifs.”
“I’m sure.”
I instinctively fold my arms across my chest. “I think it’s because the distractions of the day are gone, and all that’s left are me and my thoughts. Most of the time, I’m either alone in a hotel room or in my apartment. You’d think that becoming a flight attendant would put me with people constantly, but it’s actually quite the opposite. I’ve found that I’m sometimes even lonelier than I was before.”
That’s all he needs to know right now. Jack and I both have things that keep us staring into the darkness behind our eyelids as the hours drag on. Worry constantly knocks on our door, threatening to rob us of our peace.
“Right now, we have each other, so at this point, neither of us is alone.” Jack’s voice is smooth and reassuring. He pushes off the counter and takes a small step forward, but it’s enough to invade my space.
The air becomes dense around us. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”
My eyes track his movements with uncertainty as he raises a hand toward my face. The hammering in my chest is so loud, and I bet he can hear it too. The smoothness of his skin on my temple is all I feel when my eyes fall closed. Jack subtly leans forward, his breath brushing the corner of my mouth. “I’ll be right out here if you wake up again looking for another late-night snack.” He tucks a loose strand of hair behind my ear.
“Okay.” I swallow hard. “Thank you.”
His eyes bore into mine as he backs away. “Goodnight, Piper.”
I dash out of the kitchen before he can fold himself into the makeshift bed on the couch. I fear that if I look his way again, there will be no stopping me from crawling in with him.
Fuck. Why does he have to be so fucking hot?
What is stopping me from making the first move? We acted solely on our urges by getting married in Vegas, but that doesn’t explain why I feel like he’s deeper than quick hookups that would come and go.
I need sleep.