Chapter 5 #2
But my favorite part of working together was him walking me to my next class when we were done in the lab, which made every girl in the science department and beyond envious.
There were times, many times in fact, when I found him looking at me instead of at our work, and would quickly look away when I caught him. I kept waiting for him to ask me out, but either he hadn’t gotten up the nerve, or I was reading him wrong.
One warm afternoon while taking a break on the quad, I checked my phone and stood to leave.
We had exchanged phone numbers, but Nick never called or texted.
Oddly, he preferred to communicate through our school email.
I’d gotten used to his quirks, so I just accepted his request. He was almost never on his phone, a stark contrast to every other student.
“I’m going to grab a quick snack before class.” I held out my hand for my bag, but he carefully placed it on my shoulder, his fingers lingering a few moments on it before pulling away. I was sure I heard him inhale deeply.
“See you later, Leyla.” His deep voice made my stomach flip. You’d think I’d be used to it by now, but I absolutely was not.
Three weeks later, we were working late in the lab, so close to getting one of our experiments to work. No matter what we tried, we couldn’t find the right formulation.
“Ugh, I can’t see straight anymore,” Nick grumbled, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his palms. I could see the dark circles under them and wished he could take a break soon.
“Nick, let’s call it quits. You’ve got to work tonight, and you’re exhausted.”
“No.”
We were back to his monosyllabic responses.
“Even if we catch a break, you’ll have to leave soon. Then it will drive you nuts to have to walk away.”
When he looked at me with his brows low, I teased, “What? You don’t think I know things about my partner after almost four months?”
There was a hint of a smile before he turned back to the beakers.
“We are so close,” he said, exhaling loudly. “I just can’t figure out what we are missing, and we’re running out of time.” He checked his notebook again, even though we’d been going over it for hours.
“I know we can figure this out. We have three more variables to consider, but if we both don’t get some rest, we’re going to miss something. Let’s pick it back up on Wednesday when you’re free again,” I pleaded, closing my own notebook.
He hung his head in defeat and rubbed the back of his neck. “Yeah, you are right.” He looked at his phone. “Shoot. Didn’t realize it was this late. See you tomorrow in class.”
I watched him gather his things in a hurry and stand up. He looked like he had the whole world on his shoulders, and I hated it for him. When he passed by me, I grabbed his hand, stopping him. He looked up at me, his eyes wide. I wasn’t sure who was more surprised by my move.
“Nick, I, I just wanted to say. I’m glad you’re my partner in this. Thank you for making this a priority with all you have going on. But let me take up some slack since I’m not working. Please?”
He stared at our joined hands for so long, I was afraid I’d made him uncomfortable, so I started to pull away, but he squeezed my hand.
“Leyla, getting to do this with you,” he swallowed hard, still not looking up at me. There was a palpable, nervous energy coming off him like waves. “Um, spending time with you. I-it’s what I look forward to more than anything.”
His words were so earnest that my heart began to beat erratically. He let go of my hand suddenly and turned around, looking for something. “Come on, um, pack your stuff. I don’t want you walking back to the dorms alone.”
Something new and meaningful had just transpired between us, and it felt as if a string were taut between us, neither of us wanting to break the delicate connection.
I knew then what I had to do. Looking around, I pointed to a few friends who were still working on their own projects in the lab.
“Go. Don’t get in trouble again for being late. Janine and Mark are still here. I’ll walk out with them.” When he hesitated, I said, “Go. I’ll be fine. See you in class tomorrow.”
He nodded and finally left, the lab door clicking softly as it closed. I took a deep breath, breaking the promise I’d just made to him, and opened my laptop.
Five hours later, joy filled my deeply fatigued mind. I held my face in my hands with a wide smile before checking my work for the fourth time.
I think I might have found it. I was pretty sure I’d found the missing element. I was too exhausted to write it all out neatly in my notebook. I just had my chicken-scratch notes on Post-its. I shoved it all into my bag and left the lab elated.
I couldn’t wait to tell Nick, but it would have to wait ‘til morning.
I prayed and asked God to give him peaceful rest tonight.
I had come to care for him so much in such a short time.
Nick and I were forging a friendship, but there was still a corner of my heart that secretly wished it could be more.
The next morning, I almost floated to Logan’s class, anxious to tell Nick what I’d discovered the night before. But a few minutes after class started, there was still no Nick. The man was punctual to a fault, so I knew something was up.
The night before, after working for hours after Nick left, I faceplanted into my bed, forgetting to charge my phone. I realized it when I got up for class and plugged it in, only getting it to five percent by the time I had to leave.
Grabbing my phone, I texted him, only to shake my head at all my other unanswered texts.
A few weeks earlier, I had tried to get him to switch to texting so I didn’t miss any emails.
His reply was that since it was about the lab project, it was school stuff, and he used his school email for that type of correspondence.
I had held back from laughing in his face because what twenty-four-year-old, first of all, talked like that or thought that way, and second, didn’t text? It was bizarre, but I couldn’t convince him otherwise.
So I scrolled to my school email, which I only used for my professors and him, and sent him one asking if he was all right.
“Okay, let’s get settled down. I’ve got a surprise for you,” Logan announced, making us all groan. I slid my phone in my pocket, my mind still on Nick.
“Think of this like a surprise inspection,” he continued, his eyes full of mischief. “Please turn in your notebooks. I’ll have them back in the morning.” I’d heard from Luke, who’d taken this class before, that he liked to do unannounced lab notebook audits.
My heart raced as the TA came down the aisle, collecting notebooks. I panicked and wished Nick were here. He was always so level-headed and would know what to do.
“Leyla? Notebook, please?”
“I made some progress late last night but didn’t get a chance to write it all out,” I said, my eyes pleading for more time. He knew me by name because of Nick and my debates, but that familiarity didn’t give me any leeway as he wiggled his fingers in front of me with a shrug.
Pushing the Post-its into the notebook, I prayed it would all work out. Worst-case scenario, Logan wouldn’t be able to decipher my notes and would give them back to me to finish. Or at least I hoped so. I really didn’t want to have to defend my findings before going over them with Nick.
“Nick, where are you?” I mumbled.
After class, I checked my school email, and sure enough, he had answered. Poor guy had caught a stomach bug and was out for the day. I asked if I could bring him anything, but he declined, worried about passing it on to me. My phone died right after that, to my dismay.
I didn’t mention the notebook audit or my discovery, not wanting to stress him out even more or, worse, make him so curious that he came in sick. I would just check in with him the next morning and tell him everything.
After my last class, I borrowed a friend’s charger, and as soon as I plugged it in, there were a bunch of emails, texts, and a missed call from Nick.
His texts were frantic and mentioned needing to see me urgently about the project, but the one that got my attention was an email from Logan with the subject line: “Come to my office immediately.” Not replying to Nick, I ran to the faculty offices, my heart in my throat.
Hours later, I left Logan’s office shaken and furious.
He needed an explanation, hinting that I was in trouble after a conversation he’d had with Nick earlier.
Miraculously, I was able to convince him that I hadn’t plagiarized my work.
By the time I got back to my dorm room, I was in tears.
The realization of how close I’d come to losing everything I’d worked for had my knees buckling.
Nick called a few more times, but I silenced my phone and fell asleep sobbing.
Logan said I could work independently on the project to finish it up since we were so close, and I didn’t want to work with Nick anymore. I prayed that I could pass and my GPA would not be affected.
Nick had betrayed me by not waiting to confront Logan together. I finally texted him to stop trying to reach me. I didn’t want anything to do with him.
When Lucy, my classmate who had warned me about him, saw that we were no longer partners, she mouthed ‘I told you’ when she saw me again.
I feared that the plagiarism accusation had gotten out, and people were talking about me behind my back.
It was traumatizing. Part of me knew I may not have been completely fair to Nick, but I couldn’t help it.
There was no way we’d ever be friends again.