Chapter 17 #2
I choked on nothing, then chugged my kombucha, which was a mistake. The sour, fizzy drink made me cough more.
“Luke is delusional,” I spit out.
Miles walked out to where we were sitting and patted me on the back.
“Okay, there, Leyla?” he asked.
I coughed one last time. “Yup. All good. Just went down the wrong way.”
He handed Vicky a bottle of water and gave her a peck on the lips. They looked lost in the moment as he bent over her, looking at her longingly. “Thought you might want this, Little Fairy. I’m getting the fish ready to grill.”
She kissed him one more time, cupping his jaw. “Thanks, amor. Need some help?”
“No, you stay and visit. Don’t get to see Leyla too often.” He winked at me and walked back inside. Vicky’s eyes followed him long after he disappeared. Their sweet nicknames made my heart swell.
None of my boyfriends, including Ethan, had done that with me.
I swallowed the longing that always left a void inside me, which seemed to grow bigger over the years.
My mom had always told me a man couldn’t complete me, but having one who treated me the way my friends’ husbands did made me want things I wasn’t sure I’d ever have.
“Love seeing you two so happy,” I finally commented.
My words brought her out of her trance, and she smiled widely again.
“I never thought this kind of happiness was possible. We had quite a difficult path to our happily ever after, but it was so worth it.” She took my hand and squeezed it.
“I want this for you, too. You’re an amazing, intelligent, giving woman, and you deserve someone who sees you for who you are. ”
“Thank you. Not sure when it will happen, but maybe one day. And I love that you see yourself now the way we all do.”
She blushed and let go of my hand, sitting back in the chair. “Yeah. It took me some time and an encounter with God to understand that my body-image problems stemmed from listening to lies.”
“Funny you mention that. Niko told me the same thing just the other day. He, um, went through some things in his younger school days, and his parents shared with him a verse from Ephesians about how God intentionally created us.”
She raised her eyebrows. “Niko is a believer?”
I nodded. “His words are helping me with some issues I’ve been dealing with since Ethan and I split up.”
“Issues? What kind of issues?” she asked, her eyes narrowing.
“Ah, well, stuff I haven’t told anyone, really. He said some things about me that hurt deeply when we ended things.”
She frowned deeply, mumbling in Italian. “What did he say?”
“Yeah, I want to know what that jerk said to you, too.” I jumped at the sound of Sofia’s voice behind us as she closed the gap fast, coming to a stop in front of me, her hands on her hips.
I groaned and rubbed my forehead, kicking myself for saying anything.
Luke and Miles came out with a tray of some kind of cheese plate, their smiles sliding off as they took in the three of us.
“What happened?” Luke asked in concern.
Sofia tossed her purse onto a nearby lounger and sat down next to us. The guys followed suit, sliding the tray onto a table.
“He said some things that lingered. Took root inside me and it messed me up for a long time. Things like I was too much,” I said, rubbing my hands together on my lap.
“Too much? Too much of what?” Sofia growled.
“I didn’t know until I pushed for an answer, trying to find a way to save the relationship. Little did I know he was already gone. And by how fast he moved on to this new woman and proposed, nothing I said was going to matter.”
“That makes no sense. If he had fallen out of love with you, as if that’s possible, why not just say that?” Luke asked, his eyes dark with anger.
“Good question. But instead of just being honest or explaining whatever it was that caused this shift, he put the blame on me. Said I worked too much. So I tried to take off more time, going out, having fun together to show him I could be what he needed.”
“I don’t like where this is going at all,” Vicky said.
“No, you won’t. I tried to be my extroverted self, the one he’d loved when we first met.
Then suddenly I was too loud, too extreme, too much.
That’s all he kept saying. I was too much, but also not enough.
” The tears trickled down my cheeks, and in an instant, the girls surrounded me with hugs so tight it felt like they were putting me back together again.
“If I ever see him, he’ll find out what too much looks like,” Luke barked. “Leyla, you do realize this had nothing to do with you. This was a cowardly man who made you feel like you were the problem. Tell me you understand that.”
After the girls pulled away, they settled on either side of me, still holding my hands. I took a deep breath to answer. “I’m getting there, bestie. I’m starting to see things the way they really are.”
“Leyla, we wish you’d told us this two years ago. We could’ve walked through this with you,” Sofia said, concern coloring her face.
“I was foolish not to share this with you guys. I was just so embarrassed. He made me feel small and ridiculous, as if my outgoing personality were something to be ashamed of. When I look back over our relationship, I realize I was always the one trying, always the one changing to suit him,” I said through tears.
“You have nothing to be sorry about,” Vicky said quietly. “When a man can fully see you, just as you are, and not only appreciate it but also encourage it, that’s when you’ve found someone special.” Her eyes were watery as she spoke, and Miles winked at her.
“Thank you, all of you. I’ll never keep something this big from you again. Promise. I understood in my head that I shouldn’t have to change for a man, but my heart longed to be loved.”
“You are loved. Fully and completely. By God, and by us,” Vicky said.
“That’s right, Aunt Leyla. A man should love you for who you are. That’s what Jojo says, anyway,” MJ said, her words making us all turn toward where she stood. I hadn’t even heard her come outside.
Miles growled and mumbled something I didn’t catch, then stood, kissed his daughter on the head, and guided her inside.
We all snickered while Vicky sighed loudly, mumbling again in Italian.
“She’s right, though. Niko said the same thing the other day at lunch,” I said. As soon as the words left my mouth, I regretted them. My three friends all turned toward me, their faces registering varying degrees of shock, even Vicky, who had just heard part of the story.
“Oh, really?” Sofia cooed.
I needed to start regulating my verbal filters.
“It was sweet. He shared something, so I did too. That’s what friends do, right?”
They all nodded as I looked from one to another, expectantly. I needed immediate backup to know it was okay to be his friend.
“What else did you and your friend Niko talk about at lunch?” Luke asked with a smirk.
The three of them were watching me like wolves in a chicken coop.
I swallowed and decided I might as well come clean.
Between Sofia’s detective work and Luke’s gossiping, they were bound to find out.
I was sure Jaz was in on this as well, since she acted weird every time she, Niko, and I were in the break room together.
“I, um, I may have offered to help him. You know, friend stuff. Stuff a friend would do,” I mumbled nervously.
When Sofia smiled widely, her teeth showed, and I backed up, the image of the big, bad wolf filling my mind.
Clearing my throat, I reached for my drink, only to put it down when I found it empty. My shaking hand almost knocked it over.
“Talk to us. We won’t bite,” Vicky said, creeping me out even more.
Regaining some semblance of control, I answered, “I’ll be helping, ah, assisting him on a project.”
“A project at work?” Luke asked, leaning toward me. “Which one and why don’t I know about it?”
I shook my head. “No, not at work.”
“So, something not work-related.” Sofia tilted her head and tapped her lips, her eyes lifted in thought. “Let’s see. What could it possibly be?”
“None of your business. This is on a need-to-know basis, and you don’t need to know,” I said, knowing I sounded like a seven-year-old.
“Nope, not letting it go now that you’re blushing. It’s way more personal than that,” Sofia said.
“Does he want you to invest in an MLM scheme? Don’t do it, girl. Don’t ask me about how many essential oils my mom has right now,” Luke said, Miles shaking his head in agreement.
“Although that one oil did help with your weird fungus on your toenail,” Miles said, making his brother shove him.
“No, wait. I got it! Does he want you to be his fake fiancée to make his ex-girlfriend jealous because she ran off with his best friend and made him lose his job, and that’s why he’s at Earth Organix?
” Sofia asked excitedly. When we all stopped and looked at her, she asked, “What? I saw it in a romance book.”
Shaking my head, I said, “Are you serious? Just stop. I’m not telling you. And Luke, you’re still getting that fungus? Dude, you need to see a doctor.” Luke growled and shoved Miles again just for spite.
They continued listing off the most ridiculous guesses for another ten minutes when I finally yelled, “Alright, alright. I’m going to be his dating coach!”
There was a collective gasp followed by silence. The air stood still, as did every human on that back patio. I was sure none of us was even breathing.
“Oh, this is so much better than the fake fiancé,” Sofia said like an evil Disney villain.
“Don’t get any ideas, you troublemaker,” I warned.
“Here’s what you’re going to do. Invite him to game night,” Sofia said, her face set in stone, letting me know there was no getting out of this. I looked at Vicky for help.
Shaking my head quickly, I growled, “I don’t like him like that.”
She slowly held her hand out, palm facing up. “Rage,” then flipped it over with a wicked grin, “passion.”