Chapter 23
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Leyla
I excused myself to use the restroom before dinner arrived. Gratefully, it was empty. Peering into the mirror, I was shocked at my reflection. Turning from side to side, I giggled. My cheeks were pink, my smile wide, and my eyes seemed to sparkle.
Niko and I had flirted, laughed, and even teased each other. It had never been like this with a man, not even Ethan. Snarling at the thought of him, I couldn’t believe what had happened.
After confronting my awful ex-boyfriend, here I was giddy and, well, flushed. I replayed the wrist kiss and the nickname in my head.
Whew, I was getting flustered just thinking about it again. When a woman with a severe bun and a judgmental sneer side-eyed me on the way to a stall, I took a deep breath.
I was already making a mental note to find these Turkish soaps when I had a chance. If any of them looked or sounded anything like Nikolas Demir, sign me up.
Holy hotness, Batman. Rubbing my wrist, I could still feel the tickle of his short beard, where his lips burned my skin like a tattoo. I breathed out a heavy sigh followed by a giggle. Bun lady cleared her throat before flushing the toilet and exiting the stall.
She moved to the opposite end of the line of sinks and washed her hands with precision, ignoring me.
“Sorry, didn’t mean to make it weird or anything. It’s just that my date, well, he’s my pretend date, just kissed the inside of my wrist, and made my ex scurry away like a woodland animal,” I gushed. “Let me tell you. It was glorious.”
She grabbed towels from the dispenser with force, looking me up and down in fear.
Maybe it was the pulse point comment. Too much?
Poor lady couldn’t get out the door fast enough. But nothing, not even a church lady look-alike, was bringing down my mood tonight.
The man called me hyatim. HYATIM. My life.
Maybe that should be my first tattoo.
I washed my hands and headed back, skipping the facilities. I’d only come in here to calm down anyway.
Niko stood when I got back to the table. So much for calming down. Good grief. He was such a gentleman.
“Hey,” he said, making me smile. His shyness was such a contrast to the suave use of English and Turkish he had just employed. Gone was the pulse-kissing romantic. This was just Niko. He was perfect.
“Hey,” I answered with a smile as I sat down.
“Our server refilled our waters and said our meals were on their way out soon.”
Laying my fancy napkin in my lap, I said, “Sounds great, thank you.”
He straightened his already straight silverware. Feeling his nervousness, I decided, once again, to help restart the conversation.
“So,” I said, my voice making him turn back to me with so much expectancy that I wanted to laugh but dared not.
“Have you run out of subjects to talk about so soon? Or do you just sweep unsuspecting women off their feet with Turkish words and swoony hand kissing and render them speechless so you don’t have to talk anymore? ”
He huffed and stared at his place setting. “I told you I needed help. Not sure what to say.”
“Well, let’s see. If this were a real date, you could ask me about my work.”
Niko looked at me and smiled. “I already know about your work.”
Knowing there was no way to ignore the elephant in the room, I ground out, “Pretend I’m the woman you are interested in. What would you want to talk to her about? And you know, this would be much easier if I knew her name.”
His panicked look alarmed me, so I waited. His lips twitched as if he were working through a problem in his head. How hard was it to just say her name?
Then it hit me. What if his hesitation meant it was someone from work? Mentally scanning my staff for possible suspects who were still single.
“Pam,” he said so loudly, I jumped. Eyeing him suspiciously, I went through my contacts in my head.
Pam. Pam. Pam. I don’t think I know a Pam. No Pams at work that I was aware of.
Now that she had an actual name, all of this became very real. There was a woman named Pam who had Niko so wound up that he took me up on my offer to help him. Who was this woman? Was she beautiful? Tall, with long dark hair like his? Was she Turkish?
I hated Pam.
Scolding myself for the thought, I turned my attention back to Niko.
“Pam. Okay, well, that’s a nice name,” I said, even though it tasted like battery acid in my mouth.
“Yes. It’s a nice name,” he said emotionlessly.
“Great. Well, if you were out to dinner like this with Pam, you would ask what her interests are, and of course, you’d ask about her work.”
He went back to playing with his silverware and said, “She’s a scientist. Like me. Well, like us, I guess.”
My face screwed up like I’d smelled something disgusting. Pam. The scientist. The beautiful Turkish scientist.
“Is she Turkish?” I spit out before I could stop myself.
He chuckled and shook his head. “No, she’s not Turkish. But she seems to like the language a lot.”
My visual mind conjured up a picture of beautiful Pam the scientist, swooning across from Niko as he called her hyatim.
Oh, yeah. Pam was going down.
Clearing my throat, I said, “Well, so far, we know her name is Pam, and she’s a scientist. Help me out here, Niko. Do you know anything else about her?”
He looked at me, his eyes scanning over my face, stopping at my necklace.
“You mentioned at the beach you’d had your necklace for a long time and it was special. Can I ask why?”
The sudden subject change gave me whiplash. Touching my pendant, I answered, “Because my dad gave it to me back in high school. I guess it’s special because of that, but it also reminds me how big the world is and how small I am.”
Rubbing the raised wave, I said, “When I mentioned that to him, he reminded me that although I felt small, I was very important to God, the One who created the waves. And no matter how big the waves got, God was with me.”
“I like that. It reminds me of how I feel every time I swim out on my board. The ocean looks wild, even dangerous. So big, so intimidating. In comparison, I feel like such a tiny part of this great, big world. I like the way your dad explained it.”
I let the necklace go, the pendant warm now on my collarbone from my hand. “It’s been a while since I thought of God that way, like I mentioned to you the other day. But I’m getting back where I need to be. I feel His presence again.”
Niko nodded. “I’m so glad. My mom always reminds me when I feel like God is far away, it’s me who created the distance. Never Him.”
My heart warmed as I replayed his words. But it didn’t escape my notice that when he mentioned Pam, he was nervous and quiet. But when he talked to me, his heart was open again. That had to mean something.
“If we’re talking about important things from our past, I have a question. I thought about it again for the first time recently, and it’s been bothering me.”
The server apologized for the interruption and placed our plates in front of us. The smell of steak made my taste buds water.
“Enjoy your meal.”
We thanked him, but Niko didn’t start eating. Instead, he continued watching me.
“Something wrong with your food?” I asked, looking at his pasta.
“No, nothing at all. But you were talking, and that’s more important to me.”
He said these words without a hint of hesitation. It was a bit unnerving to have Niko’s full attention, and whenever it happened, I couldn’t help but feel like I was the most important person in the world.
“I’m not going to forget what I wanted to ask you. Let’s at least take a few bites. Not going to lie. I’m starving.” We both laughed and started eating.
Once again, the comfortable silence wrapped around us. No hurry. No agenda. No subterfuge. Just…peace. Even though I knew this wasn’t a real date, compared with my other awkward first dates, this was refreshing.
“Now that you’ve had about four perfect bites,” he teased, pointing to my forkful of steak, mashed potatoes, and a small piece of broccoli, “talk to me.”
Putting my fork down, I complied.
“What was in the note you gave me on exam day junior year? The one I crumpled and threw away without reading?”
His hand stilled as it was reaching for his glass.
“Wow. That was not what I was expecting,” he said, his eyes searching mine.
“I was angry, Niko. Hurt and angry.” I looked away, shame filling me. “I was also stressed and needed to prove myself to Logan all over again. All I saw in you was the enemy. Someone who had wronged me.”
His hand slowly snaked across the table, my heart in my throat. He took my hand in his and squeezed it.
“God has forgiven me for so many things in my life, including being angry with Him after getting my diagnosis, and the anger I felt toward the mean kids in school, just to name a few.”
He stopped, so again, I waited. This was too important. He was too important.
“I need His forgiveness every day, it seems. And if He can forgive me for all that I put Him through, I can forgive you. That’s how this works, Leyla. We all have fallen short of His glory. We fall short every single day. How can I ask Him to keep forgiving me if I withhold forgiveness from you?”
“Niko.” His whispered name from my lips felt so powerful. That one word held gratitude and awe.
“It was forgiven a long time ago.” He squeezed my hand again and let it go, pulling his hand back. I never wanted anything as much as I wanted my hand back in his strong one.
“What did the note say?” I asked. “I really need to know.” My voice had dropped to a whisper. With everything in me, I just knew its contents were a gift.
He straightened in his seat and held my gaze.
“I had been praying for you. From the moment it looked like you might get into trouble, I started praying that God would protect you since I had failed.”
My eyes bounced between his, waiting.
“The note said…” Niko’s phone pinged with a notification. Groaning at the interruption and grumbling an apology for not turning it off earlier, he slid it from his pocket. “Oh no.”
Alarmed, I asked, “What’s wrong?”
“It’s Mike. SOS. Needs me to call,” he said, concern written on his face.
“Do you think he’s been in an accident?” I asked, worried.
“I don’t know. Let me call him.”
A few minutes later, his call went through. “Hey, are you okay.?” He looked at me. “Yes, I’m with Leyla. It’s fine. What happened? No, it’s okay. I’ll box up our meal, bring Leyla home, and be on my way. No, she’s not going to hate you. Yes. I know you love me. Hang tight. Bye.”
“What’s going on?”
“He thinks he broke his arm rock climbing. I’m so sorry, Leyla. I promise to make this up to you.”
I was already getting our server’s attention. “Why is he rock climbing this time of night?”
“It’s an indoor place,” he explained. “They’re insisting on calling an ambulance, but he’s going to need help tonight after the ER visit.”
Letting our server know to box up everything, we waited for the check.
“I can get an Uber home, you know. So you can get to him sooner.”
“Absolutely not. I’ll just be worrying about you, too,” he said, signing the credit card receipt when the server hurried it over to our table.
As we walked to his car, I said, “I’ll admit it’s been a while since I’ve needed an Uber but…”
“Not happening,” he said firmly. “Please let me take you home. Once you’re safely inside, I can concentrate on my big oaf of a friend.”
I laughed as he helped me in. A few minutes later, we were on our way.
“I’m starting to understand that about you.”
He looked over for a second and asked, “Understand what?”
“You mentioned you compartmentalize things in a way and have to see them through. That’s what I understood when you said you’d have to see me home or you’d be worried.”
Nodding, he said, “I suppose any man would, should feel that way if they had to send their date home in a car service. But yes, I have to see things through. Does it bother you?”
His voice sounded so vulnerable, I wanted to hug him. “No, it doesn’t bother me at all. It shows you care.”
“Good. Because I do.”