Chapter 27
F inally, who deceived who?
Did Rachanna deceive Samay when she had an affair? Did she deceive him every single day after that when she had a chance but never dared to tell him about it? Did she deceive him when she let him assume that the child was his? Did she deceive him when she let him love her child as his own? Did Rachanna deceive Anirudh about the existence of his own daughter and the purpose of his life?
Did Samay deceive Rachanna when he allowed her to marry him even though he knew he was dying? Did he allow her to marry him for his own selfish reasons? If he had really loved her, would he have married her? When he knew about the affair, why did he not confront Rachanna? Was so he afraid that she might leave him? Was it only for his own selfish reasons that he hid the fact and pretended all was well?
Did Anirudh act properly? Did he assume that just because people in his life had deceived him, he had the right to spur someone else or show his anger on his loved ones? Why did Akhilesh and Esha have to suffer for Karan and Anshu’s mistake?
Everyone wants to be perfect. They want everything in their lives to go smoothly. They want to have problems that they can solve. No one plans for the things that happen to us so unexpectedly, so very often. But the fact remains, hell happens. Whether we want it or not. It happens.
Mistakes happen. People make grave errors, whether they intend to or not. But that is what makes us human.
What makes us better humans is that when we feel guilty about our mistakes, we try to correct them. When we fall off the path, we feel guilty. The guilt, which wreaks havoc in our heart, is not entirely a bad thing. It is a good thing that helps us get back on our path. It helps us correct our mistakes. It helps us accept our mistake. And although, sometimes, we can never ever get back to the path we wanted to be on, the guilt gives us the wisdom to accept the new path that was shown to us with grace and humility.
We only have to make sure that the guilt that helps us correct our mistakes is not given enough power to take over our lives and destroy us. It should not ruin us. It’s like fire. To be used where and when it is needed. It is meant to be controlled so that it does not destroy us. Was the guilt that Rachanna, Anirudh and Samay felt good or bad? Was their deception good or bad?
Rachanna tried to deceive Samay through their married life, believing to give him the peace of mind he needed more than anything else. She allowed him to think of Asmee as his child and gave him the happiness that only a child can give their parent. She did not walk out of his life when he needed her the most. She married him when she knew he was dying. Except for that one drunk night, she did right by him every single time.
Samay was selfish in marrying Rachanna. But he tried to make up for it by loving her like no one else could. He loved her even when he knew she had an affair. He loved her so much that he wanted her by his side even when he knew about the affair. He loved her child as much as he would have loved his own. And it was this large heartedness that finally gave him peace when he died.
Anirudh truly loved Rachanna and Asmee. He loved Asmee as his own child even before he knew it for a fact. He wanted to share his life with them. He was willing to be a stepfather instead of a father for all his life. Only for their sakes.
Anirudh did take out his anger unreasonably on his brother. But the fact remains that his brother did not die because of him. He did not drive the truck that had collided with his brother’s car. He was not drunk when driving a truck. It was fate. Anirudh finally had the grace to accept what he could not change and work on what he could. He accepted his brother’s responsibilities and made sure he did his part to fulfil them. Isn’t that the best anyone can do?
Finally, what should remain in our hearts is not who deceived whom, but who did right by whom. Because we all are trying. Our very level best!