Chapter 16 #2
Excited to have access to my phone, MJ jumped off the bed and grabbed it from my extended hand, racing to the living room.
“Mom, you still like black olives and sausage?” she called out.
Katy smiled and called back, “Yeah, honey. Thanks for remembering.”
She turned to me and patted the bed next to her.
“No. I’m good here. We can talk after she goes to bed, but I needed to say this.
Stop engaging my daughter in adult conversations.
If you want to ask about Vicky, ask me. And do not, I repeat, do not tell MJ that you’ll stay as long as we’ll have you.
You’re sending her mixed messages, and I won’t stand for it,” I said sternly.
She held her hands up in surrender. “I understand. Guess I was a little surprised to see a woman in your clothes with her hair dripping wet standing in your doorway.”
She stood, her brows furrowed in irritation. “And MJ is our daughter, Miles. Ours. We made her. Together.”
I scoffed. “We haven’t been together in seven years,” I bit back.
“Yeah, I know. Maybe I want to change that,” she answered softly. I stepped back as if her words had physically struck me.
“Katy,” I warned. “Not sure what your game is right now, but any moment, MJ will be back in here, and I swear I won’t let you confuse her. Not until we’ve had time to talk privately.”
“Fine, fine. I don’t want to hurt MJ. Never will, not on purpose anyway. Promise, I won’t say anything to upset you or her.”
She stepped closer to me, her familiar earthy scent filling the small space between us.
I looked down at her with a frown, and she wiped across my forehead with her finger, smoothing out the worry line between my eyes.
When we were together, it was what she did every time she wanted to calm me down, but it had the opposite effect.
“Don’t,” I hissed.
She recoiled and quickly pulled her hand back to her side. “I just want the chance to talk to you. Like old times.” Before I knew what she was doing, she was on her toes, her hand snaking around my neck and pulling me down to her, planting a kiss on my cheek.
I stepped back and she turned, walking out of the room, leaving me frustrated at her actions.
Our dinner was awkward to say the least. MJ chatted away, catching her mother up on the move and her summer.
To her credit, she listened intently. But every once in a while, she would try to pull me into the conversation, especially when MJ mentioned Vicky, which was often.
Katy’s telltale sign of discomfort, twisting her lips to the side, was getting comical, even though there was nothing funny about what was happening.
Discreetly checking my phone about a dozen times while we ate our pizza, I’d catch Katy looking at it and rolling her eyes.
Glad to have dinner over with, I had MJ toss out the paper plates and put the glasses in the dishwasher as I consolidated the pizza boxes down to one.
Katy sipped on her water, taking in our apparent ease and routine with interest.
Her visits to Crescent, once or twice a year, were always brief and ended with MJ in tears for hours.
At first, I always felt that pang in my chest, wondering if we could make it work again.
A few times early on, Katy seemed to share the same hope.
But one call from her “real” life, and she was gone once more, leaving MJ broken and me hopeless.
“Isn’t that right, Daddy?”
“Sorry, what was that, kiddo?” I asked, rearranging things in our refrigerator to make room for the pizza box.
“Mom asked about my school. I was trying to remember what Vicky said that I wanted to add to her verse on my chalkboard wall.”
Either mentioning Vicky made Katy lose interest, or she was just doing her usual, typing on her phone whenever she could.
“Vicky told you that if you want a friend, be a friend. And I agree with her on that completely.” Katy rolled her eyes discreetly, pushing her phone away when she dropped it loudly on the counter.
“Well,” she said, her voice tight with irritation. “Glad Vicky has such good advice.”
I gave her another warning look, my eyes narrowed, and she fixed her face, as my mom would say.
“I think if you just be yourself, people will be drawn to you,” she added, kissing MJ on the forehead.
“Well, I’m a bit much to handle sometimes,” she answered, her voice attempting to sound more grown-up than she was.
“You’re going to do great, MJ. You’re going to rock fourth grade,” I said with a chuckle.
Taking a last sip of her water, Katy asked, “I thought it was third grade? Did she skip a year?”
“No, with her birthday being in January, she’s going to fourth. I told you I’d decided not to let her skip a year. She needs to be with kids her own age,” I said, pushing down the growing annoyance that she never remembered these things.
MJ’s confused look made me decide to get her to bed as soon as possible.
“Kiddo, it’s been a long day. Your mom had one too with the travel. Say goodnight now, but she and I will talk about tomorrow, okay?”
I could see she wanted to argue, but when a sudden yawn so big her eyes watered hit her, she nodded.
“Night, Mom. I’m so glad you’re here,” she said, hugging her tightly when Katy slipped down from her high-top chair.
“Goodnight, my sweet girl. I’m so so glad to be here, too. Daddy and I will talk and make some plans. I want to see as much of you as I can.”
Looking up at her in adoration, MJ asked, “Really?”
“Of course.” Katy took her by the hand toward her room, looking back at me. I nodded that I’d be waiting.
I’d lost track of how long she’d been gone, so when she sat down next to me on the sofa, I startled.
“Jumpy tonight,” she said. She went to rub my neck, something she used to do when I was stressed about work, but thought better of it and dropped her hand.
I pushed away from her, giving us some space as she frowned.
“Scared to be around me?” she teased. “I won’t bite.” She knew the significance of those words as they’d been what she said to me within an hour of meeting her. Katy was wild, outgoing. Her confidence and overt flirting had dazzled me, a complete nerd.
“No, not scared. But worried. Why are you here?”
Twisting the pillow in her hand, she said, “I’m here for MJ. And for you.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Miles, I miss her. So much.” She pushed her hair behind her ears and turned to face me, her legs crossing under her.
“I spent Christmas away from home and my family, staying in a hotel in Austin. Had a gig there with my new band for a big event. It went really well, but I saw families enjoying the show, moms with their kids, drinking hot cocoa, laughing, and talking. It made me realize how much of her life I’ve missed.
” Her head tilted to the ceiling for a moment before she looked back at me, staring intently.
“And I missed you. Missed us, Miles.” At my shocked expression, she said with a chuckle, “Don’t look so scandalized. Can you really say you’ve never thought about it? Thought about us? Trying again.”
“I don’t know what you want to hear. Have I ever thought about us? Yeah,” I said with a humorless laugh. “For several years after you left. I’d have done anything to get our family back together.”
A smile grew on her face. “Then why don’t we try now? I’m different. You’re different. We’ve both grown up and know what we want.”
Anger rose in my chest at her words. “No, hold on. I’m not different.
I’ve always been me, always been exactly who you married.
Nothing about me has changed except for learning how to work through disappointment.
How to walk through challenges. To be a better father to MJ.
I’ve always known what I wanted. Back then, I wanted us to be a family. ”
She bent over, reaching for my hand. “We can be so great together. I’ve lived, traveled. My career is taking off now. There’s an indie record label interested in signing me on.” Her excitement was evident as her voice rose with the words.
Slowly pulling my hand away from her, I shook my head.
“This isn’t about your career or mine or how different you think I am than before.
You chose to leave. You walked away from not only me but MJ.
Your daughter.” I stood now, glad to finally be able to say to her what I’d wanted to say for years.
She always shut down those conversations, saying they were too hard.
“I have apologized for that over and over again. It’s so not fair for you to keep throwing back in my face my mistakes as a twenty-three-year-old woman,” she spat back, spinning to face me without getting up.
“I’m not, I promise I’m not. We both made mistakes,” I answered, lowering my voice to de-escalate the conversation and not wake up MJ.
“I forgave you years ago. But you told me when you handed me those divorce papers that you didn’t love me, Katy.
That you didn’t think you ever really did.
Do you know what that did to me?” My voice cracked on the last sentence, and I took a deep shuddering breath.
“I was a fool back then. I see now what I missed out on with you,” she said, her tone begging as she stood next to me.
“What do you mean you see now what you missed out on with me?” I asked, looking down at her. She was a powerhouse of energy, but it was wrapped up in a tiny package. At six-two, I towered over her. She used to joke that she needed a stepstool to kiss me, being five-four in height.
She dropped her gaze, tugging on her bright yellow shirt.
“It’s Vicky, right? Seeing me with her really shook you,” I said incredulously. “You don’t want me. You’ve just never seen me with another woman.”
She turned to me, those eyes feral and blazing. “Yes,” she hissed. “I’m jealous. Is that what you want to hear?”
“No, no it’s not because what I do with my love life, who I decide to spend my time with is none of your business, Katy Ann.” The mention of her middle name made her back down slightly, knowing I was really upset.