Chapter 18
eighteen
. . .
Miles
I was still stunned as I looked at the picture hanging on MJ’s wall while she hurried around searching for her glittery high-top tennis shoes.
“Daddy, you sure you didn’t wash them again?” she asked, tossing shoes behind her as she kneeled inside her closet.
“Not this time, kiddo. Um, when was this taken?”
She leaned back to look up at me. “The first day Vicky came to the house. When Mimi asked her to help with the party and stuff.”
My brows furrowed in confusion. “She did? The first night?”
“Mhm. Oh, here they are. Vicky added this cool bookcase to my closet so I can keep my shoes organized.”
I helped her put the shoes she’d strewn around the room back in their place.
“How did that conversation come up exactly?” I asked, still trying to figure out what prompted a stranger, basically, to do such a thing.
MJ looked up, her mouth twisting to the side as she thought. “Well, we were talking for a long time about, well, everything. What I liked, what I was interested in, my favorite color. Then I showed her my dress, the one in the picture, and told her I’d love my room to be that exact color.”
Nodding my head, I said, “I do remember something about that when I walked in that night.”
She giggled. “I’m surprised you remember much after the way you gawked at her.”
I tweaked her nose, making her giggle more. “Not cool, kiddo. Making fun of your old man.”
Pushing my hand away, she said, “You’re not an old man. And it’s true, Daddy. You were all like…Vicky, you’re in my house. My house in San Diego.” She started howling with laughter, so I tackled her and pretended to bite her fingers.
“Stop, stop, Daddy, please, I’m sorry,” she yelled through her laughter. Letting her up, she pushed her braids away and kissed me on the cheek after catching her breath.
“What do you know about ‘gawking’ anyway? Oh, wait. Don’t tell me.”
“Jojo,” we both said.
I made a mental note to find her a new pottery class. Jojo was going down.
“Seriously, though, Vicky just started asking questions and writing in her notebook. Some of them made me and Mimi laugh. Like if I could be any animal, what would I be?”
“A koala,” I said with a chuckle. She had been enamored of them ever since I read her a storybook about a koala who traveled the world looking for his lost toy when she was four.
“Exactly!”
“That’s really cool. But I still don’t understand about our heart sign.”
“I’m getting to that, silly. Her last question was what was my favorite thing about you. I told her it was when we made our heart “I love you” sign to each other.”
Emotions clogged my throat as I asked, “And why is that, kiddo?”
She tilted her head and smiled. “Because when you do it back, I know how much you love me because you get this look on your face. You tell me you love me all the time, Daddy, but, I don’t know?
When you do it back, I feel it. There’s a look on your face that makes me feel like I’m the most important person in the world. ”
Her eyes were filling with tears, and for the second time that day, so were mine.
I pulled her onto my lap and held her close, inhaling her bubblegum scent from her shampoo.
“MJ, honey, you are and always will be the most important person in the world to me. That will never, ever change. I love everything about you, kiddo. From your braids on your head to your purple sparkly toes. You’re perfect in every way. I love you so very much.”
Sniffling, she said, “I love you, too, Daddy, and think you’re the best. Even if you won’t let me paint your toes to match mine.”
“Well, let’s see if we can talk Uncle Lukey into it, okay?” We both laughed at that. She pulled back to look at me as I wiped her ebbing tears.
“Daddy, is Vicky going to come over still and hang out with us now that the house is finished? ‘Cause maybe, I was thinking, we can have her decorate more of the house.”
I kissed her freckled cheeks and said, “I’ll see what I can do.”
A text notification that I knew wasn’t mine rang out from somewhere in the hallway, followed by hurried footsteps.
“You finish getting ready. I need to talk to Mom for a few minutes, okay?”
“Okay. Is it all right that I love Mom and Vicky?”
My heart soared at her words, but my protective nature still wanted to be sure MJ didn’t get hurt.
Carefully considering my words, I answered, “God gives us the ability to stretch our hearts big enough to love lots of people. So, yes, it’s okay to love them both.”
She smiled and hopped up, beginning to gather her things. Her purse contained enough rations and supplies for any situation. I knew I had at least a few minutes with Katy while MJ collected her belongings.
When I entered the hallway, I leaned against the wall to collect my thoughts.
It had been an emotional morning. Vicky recognizing the significance of my and MJ’s tradition shouldn’t have surprised me.
As always, she saw what others didn’t. She was truly special.
I couldn’t wait to talk to her and express how much that gift meant to me.
But before I could do that, I needed to talk to Katy. I was sure she had been listening outside MJ’s room. As I walked into the living room, I saw her leaning her elbows on her knees, with her head in her hands.
Without looking up, she said, “Sorry my phone interrupted your sweet moment.” She leaned back on the sofa and looked up at me, tears streaking down her face.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” I asked as I sat down next to her. Even though she made me furious, she was still someone I cared about, and I always hated it when she cried.
“I messed up, Miles. With MJ, with you.” She took a stuttering breath in. “I’m ashamed to admit this, but back then, I, I felt trapped. And I’m so sorry. You can’t believe how sorry I am. I was selfish and lost both of you in my pursuit of my dreams. I’m a horrible person.”
I didn’t want MJ to find her in this state, so I pulled her up and led her to the backyard.
“We all make mistakes,” I said softly as I held her, trying to ease her sobbing. “I made plenty. I pushed you too much back then. I’m sorry, too. I’m sorry I couldn’t fix what was wrong between us. That I couldn’t make our family work, keep us together.”
She looked at me, her face red from crying.
“Miles, this wasn’t on you. I tried hard, but I think I fell for the idea of you as my next adventure.
I was only at the tech conference supporting friends.
I didn’t understand your world and never took the time to.
You were so handsome and attentive. I thought we could make it work, but I was wrong. ”
“Yeah, you’re right. I was just as guilty, though.
” The words left my mouth, but my mind caught on the fact that everything was so different with Vicky.
If it weren’t for the fact that we’d both shared our secrets, our dreams, the things that mattered to us, I’d have been worried that history was repeating itself.
But it wasn’t. There were so many green flags everywhere I looked.
Even the things I hadn’t spoken aloud, somehow Vicky seemed to know.
Like the picture. Katy hadn’t even remembered something MJ and I had done for many years.
To be fair, she’d missed out on a lot, but in just one short meeting with my daughter, Vicky had seen how important it was to us and captured that moment forever.
Katy had pulled away and was looking at me curiously. “What?” I asked, wiping my hand down my face.
“You never looked at me the way you look at her. Even when I’m in your arms, you’re thinking about her.” She held up her hand when I went to speak. “Miles, I’m not mad. Disappointed, but not mad. She’s in love with you, too. She’s a very lucky woman. I hope she knows that.”
Was it true? Was Vicky in love with me?
“No, I’m the lucky one,” I answered before I could stop myself.
“Listen, I know I’ve been unkind to her, but if she’s going to be in my daughter’s life, I should get to know her, right?”
“I need to talk to Vicky, but I suppose if you want to be more present for MJ, I should let you know that she’s someone I’d want to be a part our daughter’s life. And also, it really upset me the way you spoke to Vicky, treated her. She doesn’t deserve that.”
She blushed and nodded. “You’re right. I was crazy with jealousy, that’s all. She’s beautiful, Miles. And it’s evident how much MJ means to her. It’ll take me a while to get used to it. But you deserve someone like her. Someone who really sees you.”
“I appreciate that.”
MJ bounded outside, purple pom-pom clips around each braid. They bounced as she ran to us.
“Ready to go? I thought we could tease Uncle Lukey about meeting us at the zoo just to make him squirm,” she said with a mischievous giggle.
Katy held her hand out for MJ to hold. “He still hates it, huh?” she asked with a smirk. “Definitely, let’s call him.”
Later that evening, I was still in a good mood after the great day with Katy.
She was attentive with MJ, her laughter revealing the old Katy.
It meant a lot to see her making some changes for the better.
Luke wasn’t amused when MJ called pretending to convince him to join us and was relieved when we said it was a joke.
He offered to let Katy spend the rest of her four-day stay at the empty cottage he owned. When she asked if MJ could have a girls' sleepover there, I said yes wholeheartedly. I wasn’t sure if Luke’s offer was to keep Katy from spending the night again at my house, but I was grateful.
I texted Vicky before the girls left to see if I could come over with some dinner, but she insisted that she’d come to me.
When her headlights illuminated the living room, I was already waiting for her outside my front door when she got out of her car.
She smiled, but it didn’t quite seem like the easy one she usually wore when we were together. There was definitely something wrong, and I needed to find out quickly.