Chapter 22
twenty-two
. . .
Vicky
When the lights in the harbor came into view, I inhaled deeply.
I’m home.
In the last two years, I traveled to several countries and seen sunsets that took my breath away, waterfalls that seemed otherworldly, and historical sites that brought me to tears. But this reaction surprised me so much that I had to swallow a sob.
“Ladies and gentlemen, from your flight crew. Welcome to San Diego.”
An excitement swelled inside me, overpowering the tears. I wiped them away discreetly and reached for my sketchpad and journal. Pressing a kiss to my journal, my constant companion, I held my breath as the plane touched down.
This was either the best or the worst decision I have ever made.
Ren and my family supported my decision to fly back and see Miles and MJ. I wasn’t sure about the unannounced part, but I could always decide in the morning to give him a call.
Oh, hey, Miles. I know it’s been two years. We shared some deep feelings that were never actually voiced out loud. But I did give you my first kiss, so will you love me, marry me, and spend the rest of your life with me?
When I laughed louder than expected, my seatmate raised her eyebrows at me.
“Sorry,” I whispered. “It’s just…You see, I love him, and I need to tell him. But I have no idea if he feels the same way. His daughter tells me he’s still single, but anything could’ve happened since that letter. I just need him to know how I feel.”
The older lady smiled and patted my hand. “He’d be crazy not to be in love with you, my dear.”
I wanted to hug her, but I needed more reassurance from my new unsuspecting therapist.
“But what if he doesn’t?”
When we heard the loud ping informing us we were at the terminal, she said, “If this man isn’t who God has for you, even though you’re in love with him, then He will have someone even better for both of you.” She stood up from her aisle seat and waved as she walked away.
The sentiment was beautiful, but my heart twisted in my chest at the thought of Miles in love with another woman, kissing her, marrying her, having children with her. Suddenly, I wanted to throw my unopened tiny bag of pretzels at my new therapist.
Two hours later in my hotel room downtown, I let the memories I’d spent in this beautiful city lull me to sleep. After texting Ren and my family to let them know I was safely at the hotel, they sent back “good luck” and “call me immediately after you talk to him.”
When I woke up, it was already late morning, but I knew exactly where I would go first. I’d decide afterward whether to call him or just show up at his door after work like a crazy person.
There was still a chill in the air when I walked toward my favorite Turkish café.
I pulled my brown leather jacket closer as the strong smell of coffee wafted through the open door.
I stepped around a man engrossed in his phone, mumbling his apology.
Reaching into my jean pocket, I leaned against the glass wall as I brought the blue ribbon to my chest.
“God, here is my wish and my prayer. Let Miles be in love with me, too. And if not, then You’ll need to heal my broken heart. Again,” I whispered. I nodded once, gathering my courage as I opened the door. The scent of buttery pastries made my stomach rumble.
Walking straight to the wishing tree, I smiled.
This was the last place I’d seen Miles and MJ.
Even though it had been a painful memory, an unexpected confidence came upon me that could only be from God.
I was in the right place at the right time.
I smiled, knowing He was giving me the peace I needed, no matter what happened next.
Before I could tie my ribbon to the tree, I realized there was a man near it as well, with his back to me. So I waited, giving him some privacy when I saw a ribbon in his hand as well. His head was down, but there was something familiar about him.
Suddenly, his head flew up and he started to turn around, his nose in the air.
Two years of silence collapsed into one single, breathless second when he turned to face me.
Miles.
I blinked rapidly, trying to get my eyes to clear from the sting of tears. How was this possible?
Miles was here, standing right in front of me. His eyes were wide with a sheen that matched my own.
The tension between us hummed with the memory of every replayed moment we’d spent together. His eyes were fixed on mine, his brows pulled down in utter confusion. His chest was rising and falling rapidly, his mouth opening and closing wordlessly.
Miles. It was like my heart was calling out to his.
The café, the sounds, the people all faded away.
There was only him: his eyes, his fingers flexing at his side as he swallowed.
My heart raced as if it had been running forever and had finally found its home.
Like opening my favorite book that had been lost, its cherished words coming alive once more.
“It’s you.”
Hearing his whispered words barely audible over the lively hum of the café filled me with a profound sense of peace.
Home.
In that moment, I knew, without a shadow of doubt, that I would never love another man as long as I lived.
My smile grew wide as I took him in. His hair was shorter, his tan a little less noticeable, but he was still the most handsome man I’d ever laid eyes on.
“Hi, Miles, I can’t believe you’re here,” I said, a tear rolling down one cheek before I could stop it. The distance was swallowed up by his long stride. When his warm hand touched my face, my eyes fluttered closed for a moment, but bounced open again, not wanting to miss a single second.
“Please don’t cry. It hurts too much to see you cry,” he said, his eyes never leaving mine. He was so close I had to strain to look up.
“Happy tears. I promise,” was all I could say.
He was here at the wishing tree. Being bolder than I’d ever been before with him, I looked down and let my fingers glide down his other arm until I reached the hand holding a teal ribbon.
It didn’t escape my notice that his breath stuttered at the contact.
I tugged at the ribbon, and he didn't resist letting it go, his eyes still fixed on mine. Raising the ribbon so I could see what looked like writing on it, my breath caught as the words came into view.
God, please bring Vicky back to me.
I held back the sob that tore from my throat as I wrapped my arms around his neck, both of his arms slipping around my waist. Simultaneously, we breathed a sigh of relief.
Miles kissed my cheeks and neck, his warm tears mixing with mine. He pulled away far too quickly for my liking.
“Can we go somewhere more private?” he asked, glancing around at the staring crowd. I nodded, reluctantly letting him go before he took my hand confidently.
We walked out, barely dodging incoming patrons since we wouldn’t let our eyes stray from one another. A few doors down in front of a store that was still closed, he pulled me to him again.
His murmured words made my eyes close in joy.
“Your perfume. I knew it was you.” He leaned his forehead to mine. “Vicky, I’ve put a ribbon with those same words so many times, I’m surprised the tree is still standing.” We both laughed through our tears as I held him closer.
“I had to come back. There’s so much I want to say,” I said, my words muffled against his chest.
“Do you have somewhere to be right now?” he asked as he leaned up but kept me close.
Shaking my head with a smile, I answered, “Nowhere to be. You’re why I’m here.”
He looked at me with wonder, like he couldn’t believe what I was saying, as his eyes scanned my face, daring it to be true.
“Let’s go, then,” he said, lacing his fingers through mine with one hand, the other sending a text. It was a weekday, so I’m sure he was letting his office know he wasn’t coming in, which suited me just fine. “When did you get in?”
“Last night. It was too late to call, and I was still deciding whether to just go out to the house later tonight to see you and MJ. How is she? I hated missing her birthday, but I needed to finish up a project at work first.”
Miles shook his head. “You have no idea what it means to me that you’ve been here for a matter of hours and MJ is a priority to you.”
“She’s always been a priority, Miles. I’ve loved staying in touch with her.” I chuckled and pulled out a picture she had sent me. “This one made me so happy. Looks like she had fun at the fair.”
Miles took the photo from me when we stopped near his office building. “She’s getting so big. Can’t keep her in shoes,” he said with a laugh. “Or keep up with her new interests. She wants to learn how to build a robot now.”
A few minutes later, we were at his truck in the parking garage and heading toward his house, still laughing about the robot. When we got in and buckled up, he looked at me, taking my hand again.
“I’m afraid to speak. I just want to look at you, but this feels like a dream and can’t be real. I woke up this morning drawn to that wishing tree. It’s crazy.”
“Once I decided to visit, I still wasn't sure what to say or how to reach out. This morning, I felt the same pull to the café. I had written my ribbon before leaving Rome, knowing I’d visit the tree later, but I felt an urgent need to go right then,” I said, squeezing his hand.
“What does yours say?” he asked.
I had slipped his into the same pocket as mine, both our prayers and wishes lingering together just as they should be.
“God, let me brave once again.”
He looked at me, then at the road and back twice. I could see him struggling with himself.
“I’m fighting the urge to pull over so I can kiss you again because I have things to say, too, but not until we get home.” His voice deepened on the last phrase, sending chills down my spine and a bright blush to my face. There was that word again.