Love by Design
1. Lucienne
Wednesday, October 4th
Today’s meeting is the epitome of this could have been an email.
Every few seconds, a small portrait pulses in our Teams call, indicating another one of my colleagues has chimed in to the conversation. I pinch the bridge of my nose and allow an exasperated sigh to escape me. I’m not usually this annoyed about departmental meetings; in fact, I often enjoy them.
However, today my patience is wearing thin. To be blunt, I’m in no mood.
The past few weeks—what feels like months—have consisted of my company, Wilder Creative Solutions, shaking up our departmental structure to accommodate the needs of a new system. Now, this system allegedly will make my job as a web designer more streamlined. That is yet to be seen and, if I’m being honest with myself, it makes me worry about my job security.
The use of technology in my line of work is inherent, but this system strips me of my creative liberties.
That’s how I see it, anyway.
As a web designer, I get to plan every single part of a website from scratch. From creating mood boards to mocking up designs, everything is planned and perfected by me. Then it’s passed along to our web developers to bring it to life. They’re the master coders—the wizards who use CSS and HTML to make the things do the stuff. It’s amazing.
This new system forces us to use templates. Boring, pre-existing, preconstructed, limiting templates. In theory, this sounds great. I mean sure, I guess it could be more cost-effective and efficient to populate a template to get a website up and running quickly.
I’d rather design an experience compared to a boring old website.
“Lucienne? If you’re attempting to speak, you’re on mute,” says Colette.
Snapping to attention, I nearly knock my coffee to the floor in a hurry to unmute myself. “Hi, I’m here. I’m sorry—I missed that last part.”
“That’s alright. I asked if we’ll be seeing you tomorrow. It’s our on-site workday,” she says.
“Oh—of course! I’ll be there bright-eyed and bushy-tailed,” I singsong through gritted teeth.
With our departmental restructuring, we are now required to work on-site once per week. In my book, that’s a good enough reason to be slightly prickly. The office isn’t far; it’s not the commute that makes me a bit queasy.
Working from my cozy one-bedroom apartment is nothing short of perfect. And I’ve worked remotely since I started working right after college. Being in an office is an overwhelming thought. But I guess there’s a first time for everything. That’s what I keep telling myself.
I bite my lip, leaning back in my rickety dining chair. The small portraits continue to pulse in and out, creating a satisfying visualizer that tickles my brain something fierce. The popcorn ceiling is painted with tan stains, and I spot a cobweb forming in the corner of the living room.
My unit in downtown Burlington, Vermont hasn’t been renovated since the late 1990s, but I kind of like the charm. It’s in an old Victorian home; all the original woodwork has been preserved. The appliances are older—the stove croaks and moans when I turn the knob—there’s wallpaper with small yellow daises in every room but the bathroom.
Even though wallpaper isn’t really my style, yellow is my favorite color, so that was an easy sell. Gideon and Greta, my two guinea pigs, don’t take up too much space. They’re the best roommates, though their contributions to living expenses are lacking.
“Everyone, remember to get your parking validated at the end of the workday at the security desk. Cubicle assignments will be clearly displayed as well. Please check the app for the seating assignments. I look forward to seeing you all in one place. And I hope you all look forward to getting to know your new teams. This is a great opportunity to network with those you may not have worked with previously,” says Colette.
She is genuinely happy about the new once per week on-site mandate. That excitement is enough for both of us. God, I adore her so much.
Colette is an extremely fair manager. She’s transparent, supportive, she delegates well, and she also happens to be my closest friend. Sometimes that is a disadvantage because I can bet she’s the only one who sensed my condescending tone creeping in.
She knows that navigating change can be tough for me. The woman has the patience of an oyster, whereas I am the equivalent of a Cholla cactus.
If it weren’t for her, I wouldn’t have this job to begin with. Colette started at Wilder immediately following college graduation while I went the freelancing route. Freelancing is not for the weak. After I wound up working day and night for some of the most demanding, difficult clients imaginable, she provided me with a reference to interview for a remote web designer position. The rest is history.
She’s the Web Design and Development Creative Director, and she damn well earned it. She’s a powerhouse, a queen bee, a workaholic, and all around badass, but I’m perhaps a bit biased.
As everyone says their goodbyes, I click the big ole red button that says Leave without uttering a word. A soft afternoon breeze whips through my open window. I hear crispy leaves tumble across the cement sidewalk. Nothing beats fall in Vermont, and I stand by that.
It cools quickly, and some years fall is fleeting, but this year it’s rolling in slowly. Leaves of burnt orange, crimson red, and pale gold litter the patches of green plotted between each house on my street. I”m snatching the black Lake Champlain sweatshirt from the back of my chair and tugging it over my head, nuzzling into the familiar fabric, when my phone buzzes in my pocket.
Colette:How are you feeling about tomorrow?
A smile tugs at the corners of my mouth. I seriously love her.
Lucienne:Oh, you know, there’s the existential dread and resentment, but at least you’ll be getting me an iced caramel macchiato with a double espresso shot to ease the pain.
Colette insisted on carpooling for our on-site workdays. Since she and I are both Starbuck’s addicts, an espresso-powered coffee the size of my torso is expected.
Colette: Are you ever going to change up your order? Try the cold brew! It’s basically the same thing.
Lucienne:I’m a creature of habit, you know me.
Colette:Did you know wolverines are the most stubborn animal? I think you have more in common with them than you think. See ya at 7:00am sharp!
I stuff my phone back in my pocket and roll my eyes affectionately. She’s not wrong. I can be stubborn to a fault. It’s something I have tried to work on, but I like what I like and that’s extra caffeinated coffee.
Pulling my hands into my sleeves, I walk down the back hallway to the balcony. Though cars are passing one another on the street below, the hum of traffic is soft. The tension in my jaw eases as I collapse into my deck chair. Mindlessly, I twist the strings on my sweatshirt around my forefingers.
The balcony is cast in an orange glow as the sun begins to sink behind the steeply pitched roof of the house across the road. Instead of retreating inside to watch reruns of True Blood or snuggle with my guineas, I let golden hour wash over me.
Change kind of sucks, but maybe this won’t be so bad.