Chapter 12 Alex
ALEX
I whistle as I bound up the stairs to Paige's apartment, a bag of her things slung over my shoulder. She'd left a few items at the office after our last late-night coding session, and like the gentleman I am, I volunteered to return them.
Definitely not because I'm looking for an excuse to see her outside of work. Nope, not at all.
I knock on her door, rocking back on my heels as I wait. When she opens it, I can't help but grin at the sight of her in cozy sweatpants and a faded NexGen Hackathon T-shirt, her hair piled up in a messy bun.
"Special delivery for Paige Reynolds!" I announce, holding up the bag with a flourish. "One set of abandoned belongings, returned safe and sound."
She rolls her eyes, but there's a hint of a smile tugging at her lips as she steps aside to let me in. "My hero. However will I repay you for this noble deed?"
"A hero's work is never done," I declare, striking a dramatic pose. "But you can start with a kiss, fair maiden." I tap my cheek, giving her my most winning smile.
She snorts, swatting at my arm. "In your dreams, Alex."
But then she's stepping closer, a mischievous glint in her eye as she rises up on her tiptoes and presses a soft, lingering kiss to my cheek.
My breath catches in my throat, my skin tingling where her lips brushed against it. Fuck, this woman is going to be the death of me.
"There," she says, pulling back with a smirk. "Debt repaid. Now make yourself useful and order us some food while I go feed Byte."
She saunters off towards the kitchen, leaving me standing there like an idiot, my heart pounding and my mind reeling.
Because that's the thing about Paige. She's always keeping me on my toes, always surprising me just when I think I've got her figured out.
One minute she's pushing me away, insisting that we keep things strictly professional. And the next, she's kissing me in her doorway and inviting me to stay for dinner.
It's enough to give a guy whiplash. But damn if I don't love every second of it.
I shake myself out of my reverie, pulling out my phone to order us some Thai food. Then I wander into the living room, plopping down on her couch and propping my feet up on the coffee table.
Exactly! And then we could use the sentiment analysis data to optimize the matchmaking algorithm. It's brilliant!
I glance up to see Paige's laptop open on the table, lines of code scrolling across the screen. Curious, I lean forward to take a closer look.
CupidCode
AI-Powered Matchmaking for the Modern Age
By Paige Reynolds
My eyebrows shoot up, my jaw dropping open. CupidCode? Paige's been working on a matchmaking algorithm?
I skim through the code, my mind racing as I try to piece together what it does. From what I can tell, it's using advanced machine learning techniques to analyze user data and predict compatibility.
It's impressive as hell. Innovative, ambitious, and just a little bit mad scientist. In other words, classic Paige.
I sit back, a slow grin spreading across my face. This is it. This is the project that's going to put us on the map, the one that's going to show the world what Paige Reynolds is really capable of.
I'm just about to call out to her, to tell her how brilliant I think her idea is, when a line of comments catches my eye.
// FATAL ERROR: matched with Alex Spencer. NOT READY. DO NOT PURSUE.
I stare at the screen, my heart plummeting into my stomach. Not ready. Do not pursue.
The words echo in my head, mocking and cruel. Paige ran her own algorithm...and it matched her with me.
But instead of being excited, instead of seeing it as a sign that we might actually have a future together...she's treating it like a bug. A glitch in the code, something to be fixed and forgotten.
I feel like I've been punched in the gut, all the air leaving my lungs in a rush. I knew things were complicated between us, knew that Paige had her walls up and her guard on high alert.
But seeing it there in black and white, seeing the proof of her rejection staring me in the face...it's too much. It's too fucking much.
I close my eyes, taking a deep, shuddering breath. Okay, Spencer. Pull it together. Don't let her see how much this bothers you.
I force myself to take another look at the code, to focus on the technical aspects instead of the personal. And as I do, an idea starts to form in the back of my mind.
What if I took the code? What if I used it as a starting point for my own project, something that could rival MindMeld in scope and ambition?
I glance toward the kitchen, making sure Paige is still occupied with Byte. Then, before I can talk myself out of it, I pull out my USB drive and copy the CupidCode files.
Just as I'm ejecting the drive, Paige comes padding back into the living room, a sleepy-looking Byte draped over her shoulder.
"Food's on its way," she says, plopping down next to me on the couch. "What have you been up to out here?"
I plaster on a smile, shoving the USB drive into my pocket. "Oh, you know. Just catching up on some emails. Work never sleeps and all that."
She narrows her eyes at me, like she doesn't quite believe me. But then Byte lets out a plaintive meow and she's distracted, cooing and fussing over him like the overprotective cat mom she is.
I watch them together, my chest aching with a longing I can't quite name. Because this, right here? This feels like home. Like family. Like everything I've ever wanted but never quite believed I could have.
And for a moment, I let myself pretend. Let myself imagine a world where I belong here, on this couch, with this woman and this cat and this life we could build together.
But then reality comes crashing back in, cold and hard and unforgiving. Because Paige doesn't want that. Doesn't want me, not in the way I want her.
To her, I'm just a mistake. A bug in the system, something to be debugged and discarded.
And as much as it kills me, as much as it rips me apart inside...I have to accept that. Have to find a way to move on, to let her go.
Even if it means taking a piece of her code, a piece of her brilliance, and using it to build something of my own. Something that can never compare to the real thing, but might just be enough to fill the void she's leaving in my heart.
The food arrives and we eat in companionable silence, trading occasional jokes and jabs between bites of Pad Thai and green curry. And if Paige notices that my laughter is a little too loud, my smiles a little too bright...she doesn't comment on it.
But later, when the food is gone and the beer bottles are empty, when we're tangled up in her sheets and I'm moving inside her, desperate and deep and aching with everything I'm feeling...
I swear I see it in her eyes. A flicker of something soft and vulnerable, something that looks almost like love.
Almost, but not quite. Because in the morning, she'll be gone. Retreated back behind her walls, back to the safety of her code and her logic and her carefully constructed distance.
Leaving me alone in a bed that still smells like her, with a heart that's bruised and battered but still stubbornly, foolishly, irrevocably hers.
I press my face into the pillow, breathing her in. Committing every detail of this moment to memory, every sigh and gasp and whispered plea.
And then I'm pulling her closer, holding her tighter, like I can somehow make this last if I just hold on hard enough.
But deep down, I know the truth. Know that no matter how hard I try, no matter how desperately I love her...
She'll never be mine. Not really. Not in the way that counts.
All I can do is take what she's willing to give me, for as long as she's willing to give it. And hope that someday, somehow...
It'll be enough.