Chapter Fifteen
Elizabeth sat in the middle of the enormous four-poster bed in the mistress' suite, though she still could not quite bring herself to think of it as hers.
Despite its size, the bed was feeling surprisingly snug.
Jane, Georgiana and Anne had all settled upon it with their skirts tucked around them, talking happily over one another while a neglected tea tray cooled nearby.
Georgiana was plainly delighted by the sudden abundance of female company and listened wide-eyed to every detail of Jane and Anne's recent marriages.
Elizabeth wondered briefly whether so much talk of romance might make her think of Wickham, but if it did, Georgiana gave no sign.
She seemed entirely caught up in the excitement of having two newly married women arrive at Pemberley within hours of one another.
Elizabeth was enjoying it too. The afternoon had reminded her of Longbourn, of sprawling together with her sisters and talking nonsense into the small hours.
There was considerably less shrieking here, and no Lydia attempting to wrestle a shoe rose from Kitty, but the feeling was familiar enough to make her smile.
Jane flopped back against a pillow, a very un-Jane action and began to talk of Bingley. "I have never been happier in my life. I do not know what I have done to deserve such happiness. I do love Charles so."
"You have been the kindest and sweetest person in the world," said Elizabeth, smiling at her indulgently. "That is what you have done to deserve it. Though I still cannot fathom that you stole away to London with Mr Bingley, left Mama a note beneath your pillow and married him by special licence."
"When you say it like that, it sounds rather dramatic. And I do feel terribly bad for Mama, but after knowing you had been brave enough to take hold of what you wanted, I found the courage to follow only my own heart."
Elizabeth spluttered on the cold tea she had just gulped down. "It was because of me? But I didn’t…"
"You did, Lizzy!" said Jane with mock severity. "I always thought there may be something between the two of you. Oh, he would stare at her so in Hertfordshire," she said to the other women.
"Is that right?" said Georgiana with a grin that promised she was storing that information away for some future teasing of her brother.
"There was certainly lots of staring at Rosings," said Anne with a conspiratorial wink at Georgiana. "And lots of long walks that went right by the parsonage. Richard said Darcy once looped the thing three times while waiting for a ‘chance’ meeting with Elizabeth."
Georgiana giggled. "I would say I could not imagine William acting so, but when Elizabeth arrived, he followed her about the house like a puppy. I was showing her all of the family rooms, but he even followed her to the kitchens. And he had me take a tray in my room on their first night so he could have the time alone with her. I don’t mind of course. I am just so happy he is happy."
Elizabeth looked from face to face, shocked by what she heard. "It was that obvious? I truly thought he was looking at me to find fault."
"Oh Lizzy, we are all blind in love. I thought Charles didn’t care for me at all and it turned out we had both pining for each other for months. You found your way to Mr Darcy. It all turned out well."
Anne gave Elizabeth an assessing look and Elizabeth gave a small shake of her head. Jane did not know the whole messy story and although she would confide in her sister, she would not do so in front of Georgiana.
"It turned out very well indeed," said Anne.
"I for one am very glad to see two such wonderful ladies join our family. And like Jane, Elizabeth’s story gave Richard and me the push we needed to begin our lives together.
There was no midnight flit like the beautiful Mrs Bingley enjoyed though," she said, smiling warmly at Jane.
"Now we must all ready ourselves for dinner. Georgie, dear, why don’t you go and bathe, I would be grateful for the services of your maid, once she has seen to you. "
"Gladly, cousin," said Georgiana, practically skipping out of the room. Elizabeth suspected that Pemberley might have been a lonely place for the younger girl in recent years.
The room quieted and Jane watched Elizabeth for a long moment, some of the amusement in her face faded away. "Are you happy, Lizzy?"
Elizabeth looked down at her cup. "Yes. I think so."
"That sounded convincing," Anne said dryly.
Elizabeth gave her a look, but Jane had already shifted closer and grasped her hand. "Lizzy?"
Elizabeth hesitated. Georgiana was safely out of earshot now, and after a moment she gave in and began to share the whole complicated tale.
Once she started, the words tumbled over each other and she felt tears prick at her eyes.
Jane interrupted now and then in astonishment, while Anne filled in the odd Rosings detail or added in a comment of her own.
Before long it was all out in the open, right up to the agreement she and Darcy had made in the carriage to try friendship first.
"And then on our first night at Pemberley..." Elizabeth stopped as heat crept into her face.
Jane leaned closer. "What happened on your first night?"
"Nothing happened. Well, not nothing. We dined alone and afterwards he kissed me." Elizabeth looked down at her cup. "And I kissed him back. Embarrassingly enthusiastically. Then I stopped him and told him again that I needed time and that we must be friends first."
Jane rolled her eyes, though so subtly that anyone else other than Elizabeth might have missed it. Such displays of exasperation were not generally in her sister's nature. "And what did he do?"
"He has been perfectly respectful. Infuriatingly so.
For more than a week he has wished me good morning and good evening, sat across from me at meals and behaved as though we have never done anything more improper than share a pot of tea.
He barely touches me," Elizabeth said, her face warming.
"Today he took me to see a very pretty pool and waterfall.
I slipped. He caught me, and for a moment I thought...
" She broke off and shook her head. "But no.
He remembered what I had asked and stepped away. "
Anne gave a small nod, as though this confirmed something she had expected all along.
"Of course he did. Lizzy, if you ask Darcy for space he will obey you tirelessly.
His sense of duty runs so deep that I am surprised he has not drawn a line down the middle of Pemberley and promised never to cross it without your written permission. "
Jane let out a laugh, then quickly covered it with her hand. "I am sorry, Lizzy. I do not mean to make light of your distress."
Elizabeth waved away the apology, unable to keep from smiling herself. "That does sound rather like him."
"It is exactly like him," Anne said decisively. "So if you are waiting for him to ignore what you asked and sweep you off your feet anyway, you may be waiting until the cows come home."
"What are you afraid of, Lizzy?" Jane took her hand.
"You have a man who is quite plainly head over heels in love with you, and from everything you have just told us, you sound at least halfway in love with him.
He is not your friend, Lizzy. He is your husband.
Of course there should be friendship between you, but marriage is not only that.
" She blushed becomingly at her own words.
Anne nodded. "And Darcy will never ask for more while he believes you do not want it.
You made your wishes very clear, Elizabeth.
He will honour them until you tell him they have changed.
" She paused, considering her next words.
"It has been less than a sennight since your wedding and already you are struggling with the distance between you.
Why not cross it? I suspect you would both be much happier if you did. "
Elizabeth thought of the sitting room that connected their apartments.
It might as well have been an ocean. She had not even brought herself to open the door.
What if Darcy's careful distance was no longer only an attempt to respect her wishes?
What if all her refusals had finally cooled the feelings he once professed so fervently?
Worse still, what if she crossed that room and found him unwilling to accept her attentions?
The thought made her stomach twist. "I do not know if I can," she admitted.
Jane reached for her hand again. "Then perhaps you need not decide everything tonight. Your marriage is still very new, and you are still learning. Let us enjoy this dinner where we are all together and perhaps, amongst family, something between you will ease"
Jane rose from the bed. "Now I really must go. I need to change, and I promised Charles..." Colour rose into her cheeks. "Well, I simply need to ready myself."
Anne laughed at her blushes and stood as well. "Think on it, Elizabeth. Even in Kent, I could see there was something between you. One of you only needs to be brave enough to take the next step, however daunting it may seem."