Round Twenty-Seven #2
“See? That’s what makes a man a man.” I press my lips to his temple. “Being afraid, but doing the thing that scares you anyway. Even though you hate storms, you’ll still sit out here and wait for Maggie to come home. You’re the bravest man I ever met.”
“Am I the best man? Like how you’re the best man for Uncle Ollie?”
I wrap my arms around his torso, holding him to my chest and hugging him extra tight as thunder rolls closer.
Louder. “It’s pretty cool that Uncle Ollie picked me to be his best man, huh?
He could’ve asked anybody in the entire world, and I haven’t even been very nice to him for the last little while, but he still picked me. ”
“Would you pick me?”
I pull back and wait for his eyes. “For what?”
“To be your best man. If you get married again.”
I cough out a laugh that takes a chip off the side of my heart. “I won’t be getting married again, buddy. I already did that once.”
“Why not?” He loosens his grip around my neck, allowing me to straighten my back, and drapes his arms around my torso instead. “You’re allowed to do it more than once, ya know? Just not at the same time.”
“This is true.” I chuckle. “I’m allowed to do it more than once. But I think I’m getting a little old for that stuff now. I was born in the nineteen-hundreds, after all.”
His little lips quirk up on the side. “Ollie was born in the nineteen-hundreds, and he’s getting married. Tommy and Alana, too. They only got married a little while ago. And then there’s Maggie.”
My heart jumps and thuds inside my chest. “What about Maggie?”
“Well, she’s old like you, but she’s never been married at all. Doesn’t seem fair that she didn’t even get to try it.”
“That’s Maggie’s business, buddy. Those are her—”
“If you and Maggie got married, you could plan it real quick.”
“Jeremy—”
“If you do it fast, then you won’t feel too old. And you’re not currently married, so you could do it a second time, and she’s never been married, so she can do it, too.”
“I am currently married. Technically. Your mom and I didn’t get a divorce, Jeremy. We didn’t fall out of love.”
“But she’s not here,” he whines. “She’s at the cemetery, and besides, Maggie knew you first.”
“She…” I pull back, sick with a heavy lump of nerves settled in the base of my stomach. “What?”
“Maggie knew you all the way since kindergarten. Mom didn’t know you until later.”
“Who told you that?”
“Franky.”
I laugh. “Who told Franky? How could he possibly even know?”
“Molly. And Molly’s grandpa told her, cos Molly’s aunty used to go to school with you, and she said you and Maggie were friends first. Tommy also said so. But Franky said Tommy is younger than you, although he was born in the nineteen-hundreds too, so he’s not that young.”
“Can you stop with the nineteen-hundreds stuff? Jesus.” I scrub a hand over my face. “You make me feel like I’m a hundred.”
“Is that why you don’t wanna get married ever again?” He wraps his hand around my wrist and pulls my arm down. “Cos I make you feel a hundred? I’ll stop saying that stuff.”
“I’m not getting married ever again, because I already have you.” I take his face in my hands and fold a little closer. “I have everything I need right here, and he has eyes that match mine exactly.”
“But—”
“People like Maggie deserve to marry someone who loves her more than they love literally anyone else on the planet. She deserves to be loved the way her daddy loved her mom. She deserves a really special kind of love, and she especially shouldn’t marry anyone who can’t give her any of that.”
“I love her that much.” His jaw wobbles with emotion. “Cos she gives me hugs that feel like magic. If you ask for a hug too, you could see. Then you could love her that much, too.”
“But I can’t.” I swipe old moisture from beneath his eyes. “I cannot love her more than I love anyone else on the planet. It’s impossible.”
“Because you still love Mom?”
I shake my head, my lips curling into a smile.
“Because I love you more than anyone else on the planet. She deserves that, too. She deserves to be number one. And then, a little while after she gets used to that kind of love, she can make babies with this person who loves her the most. She told me: she wants lots and lots of babies.”
“But you already know how to do that, Dad! You made me.”
“God.” Laughter bubbles and bruises in my throat, bouncing toward freedom, even as my heart squeezes. “We are absolutely not having that talk today. Why don’t we just promise to be Maggie’s men for now?”
His lips tremble. “Only for now?”
“Mm. Until she finds the person who will love her the most of all. While she’s next door and living alone, we can love her in our own way, and we can wait for her during big storms. We can shout her name from the garden and sometimes make human soup with her in hot tubs.
She’ll find her person someday, and when she does, that’s when we’ll take a step back. ”
“But you said if she gets a new boyfriend, she won’t leave us.
” He pushes my shoulder back as anger pulses in his eyes.
“On Saturday, you said only high school boyfriends and girlfriends don’t let you be friends with other girlfriends and boyfriends.
You said even if Maggie gets a boyfriend, she’ll still be around. ”
“She will be.” Fuck me. I’ve talked myself into a pretzel. “She won’t stop hanging out with you, no matter who she marries. But when he comes along, we won’t have to wait outside during storms anymore. Not that we can’t. Just that we won’t have to. That’s all I meant.”
“I’ll wait for her in the storms, even if she’s married to someone else.
” His eyes swing to the right as headlights stretch along the street and illuminate the darkening sky, then his breath comes out on a gusty exhale of relief as Maggie’s car rolls into her driveway.
Shoving me away, he drops to his feet and grabs onto a porch roof column.
“That’s what a man does, right? Even if he doesn’t have to, and even if he’s scared to his bones, he’ll still take care of her.
” He peeks up, terrified as a bolt of lightning slashes across the sky, then he looks over at Maggie as her car door opens.
Gulping, searching for his bravery, he drops his head and sprints.
“Maggie!” He screams her name, fresh tears streaming over his face as thunder makes the earth shake.
“Maggie! You have to get out of the storm!”