4. Chapter 4
4
‘ W ow.’ Martin blew out his cheeks and exhaled, running a hand over his chin. ‘So, what did you do?’
Tom shrugged, the lightness of the gesture somewhat at odds with how he felt.
‘I shook my head, laughed at them both, and walked away. It’s actually amazing how pitiful it all looks when you discover it. You imagine it’s going to be all sexy, and you’re going to feel like the ridiculous one. The one on the outside of the little secret. But Melissa was there in her dressing gown, looking absolutely horrified, and this guy, this,’ he waved his hand, ‘Ryan, this guy she works with, was there in just his boxer shorts looking shell-shocked with his mouth hanging open, holding this twenty-pound note out in front of him. He couldn’t seem to put his arm down even when he realised I wasn’t the Chinese food delivery driver. They both just stood there, mouths open with nothing to say, and I left.’
‘So, that’s it?’ Martin said. ‘You haven’t spoken since?’
Tom rubbed at his eyes and then took a sip of his coffee. It had been a stressful and tiring few days. The day after Tom found out about the affair, he had to get up at 05:00 to catch a train to Birmingham for a two-day leadership in accountancy course. He had sat through the seminars, barely registering every second word, and was so distracted in the group workshop sessions that one of the session leaders pulled him aside to ask if he was okay. He was, he had replied—just dealing with some difficult family news. He hadn’t wanted to discuss it.
Now, here in Martin’s living room on a Saturday morning, Michael’s tennis racket lying in the corner and the sounds of a kid’s argument about a bike drifting in from the garden, he could talk.
‘She’s been calling and texting and keeps saying we should talk. I would block her, but I left a few things at her house, so I suppose…’ He sighed. ‘I’ll need to get those at some point.’
Martin nodded, his eyes wide. ‘Can’t believe it, mate. She’s mad. Her loss.’
Tom nodded dully. ‘I can’t really take it all in yet. I mean, I know I thought something was up, but I didn’t really think she’d do that. I was ready to work out what was going wrong.’ He paused, then added more quietly to himself. ‘To think I was considering asking her to move in with me.’
Martin was quiet. Tom saw his eyes flick to the photo of his wife and kids.
‘I’m sorry, mate,’ Martin muttered as a blood-curdling scream erupted from the garden, followed by Martin’s daughter Charlotte shouting, ‘I didn’t touch him!’
Tom looked towards the noise but Martin shook his head wearily. ‘They’ll fight it out,’ he said with a shrug. ‘Hopefully not to the death. I’m sorry mate, it’s shit,’ Martin added, returning to their conversation.
Tom grinned, but the smile didn’t get near his eyes. ‘It is a bit.’
Tom could feel Martin’s eyes on him, and he raised his eyebrows in a question.
Martin spoke carefully as he said, ‘If you were to talk to her, and if she told you it was a mistake, and she wants to work on things and put it behind you….’ Tom gnawed on his lip as he waited for his friend to finish. ‘Would you try to? Relationships do recover from affairs, you know. Sometimes they are stronger for it.’
Tom knew Martin meant well, but he shook his head. ‘No. No way. It’s not just the cheating. It’s the disrespect and the lying and deceit that comes with it. And for all I know this isn’t the first time. It makes me think something really did happen with that Perry guy.’
He ran both hands through his hair, feeling like he needed to move.
‘People like to tell you who they are, Martin, but it’s more important to pay attention to what they show you. She,’ he couldn’t bring himself to say her name, ‘has shown me I can’t trust her. I won’t give her a chance to prove it again. She’s made her choice.’
Martin nodded. ‘I’m here if you need anything,’ he said. ‘A pint after work next week, maybe? Or Sunday lunch with me and the family tomorrow, if you fancy it. I’m cooking,’ he added in haste, ‘so it’s safe.’
Tom laughed, despite himself, at the reference to Gemma’s famously bad culinary skills.
He glanced around the comfortable family living room. Squishy sofas with soft toys shoved between the cushions, a toy box in the corner, a headless doll sticking out of it, the doll’s head lying on its cheek two feet away from the body, one eye broken and forever closed. Matted hair stuck up in the air, and the head looked like it was winking at him.
‘Thanks,’ he said, planting his hands on his knees and standing. ‘But I think I should get home now. I’ve got some work to do over the weekend for my own clients, so I’ll just get on with that.’
The truth was, he wasn’t good company for anyone at the moment. No one could wave a wand and make him feel better, and he didn’t want to bring Martin and Gemma down with his morose energy. He knew they’d do all they could to make him feel at home, and in turn, he would work hard to match their energy. He just didn’t have it in him at the moment. He was better off being on his own.
Martin walked him to the door and gave him a hug.
‘This too shall pass,’ Martin muttered, looking like he was reaching for any suitable words of encouragement at the point of parting.
Tom nodded, the words washed over him without registering, and he turned to go.
Back at home in his office he sat down and flicked through his calendar for the week. He had a list of accounts he needed to finish for his own private clients and he ran through what needed to be done over the weekend.
Tom enjoyed working for Franklin-Smith he tried again.
Hi Katie, this is Tom. Melissa was my girlfriend. We met outside her house when we were both stalking…
No, bad joke. He tried one more time.
Hi Katie, this is Tom. I think you know who I am. I feel like right now, you might be the only person who knows what I am going through. I wondered if you’d like to meet up and commiserate or plot revenge together. I get that I might be a horrible reminder of what’s happened, so feel free to say no! I hope you’re okay.
He read it through, then hit send.