Chapter 18
World’s Worst Trust Fall
HARPER
I press ACCEPT and Avyaan’s face appears on my phone screen, propped upright by my computer. ‘Well hello, Raven.’
I narrow my eyes at him. ‘Don’t use that name when I’m out of mask. Now tell me, what the fuck were those blueprints?’
‘Wow, you really do have no decorum.’ Avyaan rubs his stubble and the screen glitches as he shifts. ‘What blueprints?’
‘The ones I stole months ago. From Ferrix.’
‘Ah.’ Avyaan blinks. ‘I guess they didn’t tell you.’
‘Tell me what?’
‘We were trying to get blueprints for Ferrix’s proposed energy plant. Wanted to see how much moonstone they were planning on using . . .’ He trails off.
I sense the hidden clause. ‘But?’
‘But you kind of snagged the wrong set.’ He winces. ‘Don’t know what these ones were about, but I called Maria and she took it back the next day. I honestly never got a good look at them.’
It takes me a second to process. ‘Wait. That’s all we were planning?’
‘Yeah?’ Avyaan raises a brow. ‘What did you think we were trying to steal?’
Bomb plans. ‘Nothing, just—’ I bury face in my hands. It’s embarrassing to admit. Paints me in a horrible light. ‘I just thought the Foxes were up to something. That’s all.’
Avyaan fixes me a strange look. ‘You don’t trust your own clan?’
There’s no easy way to describe why I haven’t responded to a single text from the Foxes for a week. With bi-weekly heists and the daily rota for different fighter Foxes to accompany magic-less Foxes home, the number of texts climbs into the hundreds.
Sometime in the middle of the week, I checked in just to make sure everything was okay, and saw Maria’s name pop up in every chat as she took temporary charge.
They have the Elders. They have Maria. The Foxes are fine.
The worry I have for them can’t eclipse the sense of sickness that climbs up my throat every time I’m confronted with my alternate identity.
It feels like a shadow – Raven is me, in all my entirety, but I’m dragging a version of me that I can’t unclip from my feet.
So I haven’t been Raven. It doesn’t mean I’ll never be Raven, but I need to set her aside until I figure out how to carry her without hurting Tia.
‘I do trust them.’ I’m a good liar, even if Avyaan’s smart enough to see right through me. ‘I think everything’s just been getting to me. The assignment, and everything.’
‘Right.’ Avyaan sucks in a breath. ‘About that. The Elders wanted me to remind you to update them on your plan, you know. What’s going on? Are you growing a soft spot for your target or something?’
I open my mouth and nothing leaves me.
‘You have got to be kidding me.’ Avyaan groans and sits back in his chair. ‘You know the Sentinels have done jack shit for us. They literally hoard moonstones and help the government suppress descendants. Are you being serious right now?’
‘Av, you don’t get it. I don’t think they know.’ I close my eyes and take a deep breath. ‘I think they’re being told something else. I’m trying to figure it out.’
‘Don’t try to figure it out too hard.’ His brows knit and his lips tighten. ‘You’re still a clan leader, you know. We have kids who need moonstones. Don’t fuck it up for a girl.’
My throat tightens. ‘I—’
My bedroom door opens, and I jab the END CALL button and slam the phone down.
Tia slips through the door with a sheepish smile, her hair hanging limp and wet over an oversized pyjama shirt, little sheep frolicking over her pyjama bottoms. The world brightens a little bit, and my shadow grows a little darker in her light.
I stuff it deep in me, a Fox hiding its tail.
‘Sorry, just showered. Are we still on for a movie tonight?’
I force a smile as she walks over. ‘Yeah, sorry, my shower got delayed a bit. Relax in my bed. I’ll be back soon.’
I grab my phone and clothes. There are at least eighty unread texts from the chat with the Elders, and another ten from Maria, all from today.
I archive it all.
Just as I’m soaping my hair, a call comes through on my phone. Ah Ma. I jab the decline button, but water drips from my hand, and the call picks up.
‘Harper?’ Ah Ma’s voice rings sharply in the echoing bathroom.
Oh my God. I slam the shower tap closed, think twice, and switch it on again to mask the conversation. ‘Ah Ma, what is it?’
There’s a miffed sniffle. ‘I’ll keep it short. Your silence has been unacceptable. If you continue this, we’ll renounce your claim to the leadership. I’ll pass it on to our next prospective leader. Understand?’
Irritation flares in my chest. ‘I have a plan,’ I lie. ‘Tia trusts me now more than ever, and I’ve been busy with her. If I do Fox work for the next week, she might find out.’ It’s not wrong, but we both know I’m grasping at straws.
‘Well, I offered you the leadership because your mother was a brilliant leader, and you know her last wish was for you to have a chance. You are one of our most powerful Foxes. But you cannot say you want the role, then act like this when your entire clan relies on you. Assignment or otherwise.’ She uses the idiom , to charge to a thing while looking at another, and spits it like an insult.
‘I’m giving you a choice now. If you want to continue your break, we’ll be forced to forfeit your leadership position.
You may choose to stay in the clan or leave it, and we will collect your medallion by the end of the week.
None of the Elders would punish you. But I hope you know your parents would be disappointed. ’
You can quit.
I could. I could walk out like this never happened, and I’d join Tia outside for movie night, and we would be just two girlfriends. We would be normal.
‘Then I . . .’ I quit. I lick my lips and taste salt. I don’t want this assignment. And I love the clan, but it’s becoming too much.
Except this is something I’ve been working for ever since my parents died, and it feels like hanging up a final piece of them forever.
The silence stretches too long.
‘I’ll give you until next week to decide.’ Ah Ma hangs up.
I rinse my hair out. Blue wisps appear inside the bathroom like steam as I feel my illusion magic activate, and they waft pitifully around the shower stall until the entire bathroom is blue.
Come on, man.
I wave it away as I change into my pyjamas, but the blue fog stays stubborn. I need to calm down. It’ll be okay. I needed a break from being Raven anyway. I need to start making decisions for the people who are here, and if I’m referring to the Sentinel in my room, specifically, then that’s fine.
Right?
When I step back into my room, Tia’s standing over my bed and staring at something in her hands, her back facing the door, her body still.
I close the door loudly in case she didn’t hear me come in. ‘Bunny, hey, what’s up?’
She turns.
There’s a bag on my bed, and I recognize it with a deep-set chill – the bag I put my Raven uniform in. The bag I always hide under my bed, the bag that was still hidden when I left.
Now it’s spilled over my bed sheets, three sheathed daggers resting atop a pile of black clothes.
‘What the fuck is that?’ I say on instinct as I shut my door behind me.
Tia stands with a dagger in her hand, and light glints off its unsheathed blade. Her expression is unreadable. ‘Tell me where you got this.’ Voice flat, cold.
‘I—’ My brain scrambles for any excuse. ‘Raven gave it to me when you told her to protect me. Where’d you even find that? I forgot I had it.’
‘No, see, that’s the thing.’ Tia tosses a dagger up and catches it by its handle. ‘That day on Sentosa. I’ve been wondering where she appeared from. I’ve been wondering how you managed to convince her to help the Sentinels when you’ve never been in contact with her.’
There’s a burning lump in my stomach. ‘Did you search my room?’
‘Not intentionally. I was looking for your projector remote.’ She tests the weight of the knife in her palm. ‘I’ve seen you carrying this bag around a lot, you know? Felt . . . like something was wrong.’
I scoff and run a hand through my hair. ‘Look, I wouldn’t lie to you. You’re my girlfriend. Don’t you trust me?’
‘Not with this.’ Tia draws closer. Her eyes shine in the warm light of my desk, her features hard. ‘You need to know I cannot trust you about something like this. Now tell me, honestly, if this really is what I think it is.’
You don’t trust me, I want to accuse, but it feels like gaslighting. I can’t do that. I may have been born into a descendancy famous for deceit, but I’m past the point of lying to Tia’s face. So I watch the way her features fall, the way her jaw clenches.
‘What do you want me to say?’ I say. Find my voice hoarse. ‘That I know her? That she’s my friend, that we talk? Will that be enough for you?’
‘Might’ve been.’ Tia’s hand rises to cup my medallion in her palm. ‘If not for the fact that you and Raven are the only two Foxes I’ve ever seen with this, and I don’t think it’s a coincidence.’
I stand still, the chain noosed and damning round my neck, the medallion in Tia’s palm, like my entire alternate life lies in her hands. The hold she has on me remains, as always, thick as sin. ‘What are you saying, bunny?’
‘I want you to tell me you’re not Raven.’ Tia’s bottom lip trembles, but her voice stays steady. ‘And I want to be able to believe it.’
‘I’m not Raven,’ I say, without breaking eye contact.
Tia releases the medallion. It falls back onto my chest with a dull pain.
She takes a step back, tosses the daggers back onto my bed and keeps retreating until she hits the windowsill. ‘I’ll give you one more chance, Harper.’
Her fingers slip into her pocket and emerge with her blasters. She drops them to the floor. ‘You know I can’t fly without those. I’m going to make this your choice. Raven can catch people with her telekinesis, right?’
And then she hops onto the sill and falls backwards.
‘Tia!’ I sprint for the window. My hip slams then hinges on the frame as Tia plummets, her back to the earth.
Before I can even think about it, I whip my hand out and catch her mid-air.
Tia stares into my eyes with a look so fierce, so adamant. Like she knows exactly what choice she’s made me take, like she’s so fucking sure she’s figured it out that she’s willing to bet it all. Now she hangs, suspended, as my chest heaves against the frigid metal of the window frame.
I almost didn’t make it. She’s so far down, I almost wouldn’t have been able to reach her even with my telekinesis.
And then my assignment would be complete.
All of this would end. There would be no more choosing her over the Foxes, because there would be no more need to.
I’d be a successful leader. I’d make my parents proud.
My hand trembles, fingers outstretched. Even from so far, I see the hurt of betrayal in Tia’s eyes.
The entire time that I raise her back to the window, she’s stony-faced. But when she’s close enough, I see tear tracks shining on her cheeks.
I set Tia down on the bedroom floor, and she steps back immediately.
‘You can’t just do that,’ I say, ignoring the way my voice shakes. ‘You can’t just force me to do that.’
‘Force you to do what? Admit you’re a criminal?’ Her face crumples and she turns to the crimson night sky, like she doesn’t want me to see her crying.
‘You still don’t know that,’ I challenge. ‘Some Foxes just have telekinesis.’
‘Christ, do you really think I’m that naive?’ Tia’s gaze turns furious, and she shakes her head. ‘Forget it. We’re done. I’m not doing this with you. Goodbye, Harper.’
She shoulder-checks me on the way out of the door, and I can’t help feeling that it might be the last time we get to touch.