Chapter 5 #2
I looked down. The dress. I’d almost forgotten I was wearing it.
It really was perfect for me. A testament to my friends’ understanding.
And then I touched my face—the makeup. I raced to the bathroom to escape Buzz’s judgment.
The mirror-mirror-on-the-wall reflected my face, and the tears welled again.
Charisse was a genius with makeup. I looked... beautiful.
The light brown of my eyes almost glowed golden in the bare bulb light.
All because of Charisse and Lin’s efforts.
I suddenly wished I could’ve seen the full effect before turning my hairstyle back into a French braid.
The bike ride had finished it off. People would look.
I took a deep breath. There wasn’t much I could do since I’d left my clothes back at the school.
I chastised myself for remembering the box but forgetting to change.
I considered scrubbing Charisse’s handiwork off in the sink, but if the sweating and crying hadn’t damaged it, I would probably need some big guns to remove it completely. I touched the shawl’s knot on my collarbone. Magically, the shawl had stayed, so my modesty was intact.
To regulate my ups and downs, I went and logged in to number twelve; it was almost never in use—tucked away upstairs—where no one would notice the fancy me.
A momentary pang of sorrow went through me. Stop that, brain! Ni hadn’t hidden the fact that he was kind to everyone. On the other hand, Dad and RogueStriker had both taught me hard lessons about guys. And Ni, who used his charisma on every female within his aura, would be even worse.
Sliding on the headphones took me away from DragonByte and into the world of magic, swords, and a fight between good and evil—something I could understand. I left behind the Molly in a dress and makeup, becoming ScarlettSaber in all his armored glory.
I ignored my inbox and any messages. Searching through my quest list, I found one that I could handle myself but would be challenging enough to work out my emotions—I hoped. Not like the last one that had killed me again and again.
I’d been playing for at least an hour. I was well past the mobs and had just found the sorcerer’s hidden tower when IvoryKnight messaged me. My hackles rose. I wanted to ignore it, but I must’ve been part cat because curiosity had my finger clicking the mouse button.
IvoryKnight: Hey. Want to add me to your group?
Seriously? He had stolen my tourney win, almost stole my kill the other night, and now he wanted to join up? I wasn’t going to let it go.
ScarlettSaber: What was with the ghost necromancer?
IvoryKnight: A gift. The tourney was fun. Wanted to help u out. Could we fight 2gether?
Sorry? Fun? Well... it kinda had been. I’d pretty much forgotten it was a tourney at the time.
Maybe I could fight with him just this once...
No. I couldn’t give in to temptation. RogueStriker had been nice at first, too.
Well, he had been determined to get me on his team; maybe nice was the wrong word.
ScarlettSaber: U stole first. I needed that prize to fix my computer. Now, I can only play on borrowed machines.
IvoryKnight: U can have all the loot.
I hesitated. All pros with none of the cons? There must be a catch, but my pathetic college fund beckoned. I’d probably regret this, but I added him and sent him the location. Just this once.
ScarlettSaber: Midboss evil wizard.
IvoryKnight: OMW
I switched to voice-to-text to free up my fingers for playing the game.
It would translate to the chat, which was harder to read during fights, but either IvoryKnight would catch on or he wouldn’t I didn’t really care, but I was never using voice chat ever again.
Between the two of us, the wizard went down easily.
And lucky me, he dropped a set piece of armor along with a mid-level wand. Both would sell for a decent price.
IvoryKnight: Do you have time for me to show you something?
That cat curiosity came back to haunt me, or maybe I was in a good mood from the loot.
ScarlettSaber: Sure.
We fast-traveled to a small mountain town. The biome was a summery green with foothills. We climbed a trail surrounded by trees, tall grasses, and wildflowers. It was rather pretty. The sky was a soft blue with wisps of clouds floating by, leaving the impression of a breeze.
IvoryKnight: Follow me.
I thought I had been, but uncharacteristically didn’t respond sarcastically, verbally—just in my head.
I stayed close as he veered off the trail, and we crested a hill.
The ground flattened, and a single giant willow stood at the edge of a cliff.
The long ropes of leaves hung like a curtain, blowing gently in the soft wind.
Under the tree, I could see over the edge of the cliff to a large lake below, glinting in the sunlight.
No mobs roamed the lake, just birds; swans, cranes, and others flocked, dived and drank, or floated lazily along.
ScarlettSaber: What is this?
IvoryKnight: A leftover from the Alpha version.
ScarlettSaber: You played the Alpha? No wonder youre so good.
IvoryKnight: One of the devs is a friend of mine. Whats the matter? You werent completely at your best. You seemed distracted.
He could tell that? Strange. I wondered if my friends realized I had left the dance yet. And this stranger could read me over a computer.
Computer twelve was isolated in a corner.
And tonight, DragonByte wasn’t very busy.
Probably because of the dance. IvoryKnight and I would probably never meet.
In fact, it would be best that way, but I felt a safety with him—with the anonymity of sharing my secrets with an internet stranger.
So, I typed all of my problems and dreams into the keyboard.
ScarlettSaber: My mom and dad recently divorced.
IvoryKnight: That sucks.
ScarlettSaber: He found someone else. Someone prettier and younger, as if attractiveness matters more than all those years and memories together as a family.
I gritted my teeth, trying to hold back the anger and hurt.
ScarlettSaber: The worst part is people always said I was the spitting image of him. And I cant help but wonder if I have more in common with him than hair and eye color.
I tugged on my braid in shame. But now that the door was down, I couldn’t hold back and continued without waiting for a response from him, even though I could see the dots that showed he was typing.
ScarlettSaber: Also I finally made some friends and I keep messing it up. I have these irrational expectations of them and I dont always know what to say or do.
IvoryKnight: Just be honest. About what youre doing and thinking. They wont know unless you tell them.
ScarlettSaber: But I dont want them to know that I am like my dad. Im attracted to someone. Someone I dont really know just because theyre good looking. And it disgusts me. I disgust myself. How am I any different from Dad with his precious Val?
He was a great sounding board. I was a little surprised that I could type these things into the unknown aether when I felt too ashamed to say them to my friends. Maybe it was the act of typing versus saying them out loud.
IvoryKnight: I dont know him, but I do know that you are your own person.
As much as our parents may want us to be like them, we have to live our own lives.
Even if they expect way too much from us.
Everyone calls me perfect and I just always feel this pressure to live up to their expectations.
Its stressful and exhausting. So I started playing video games to escape and let off steam.
ScarlettSaber: Me too.
IvoryKnight: But now everyone here expects the same. Ive gotten too good at COTSA. Despite how much I love it, I dont play as often anymore because of all the hero worship.
How true that was. He was good. Really good at the game.
I jumped when Buzz tapped me on the shoulder. “Time to go. I need laptop longer. Leave it here.”
His words were disappointing but understandable. It was very late; the dance was over. I texted Mom that I was on my way home so she wouldn’t worry, but I didn’t want to say goodbye to IvoryKnight.
THE brEATH IN MY EARS kept the rhythm of my swinging arms and the slap of my running shoes on the green rubber track.
The steady beat of my heart was like a soothing lullaby.
It was another Monday morning, and I needed courage.
Courage to admit my own mistakes. A bag with my clothes had greeted me along with Mom’s worried frown when I’d gotten home Saturday night after the dance debacle and my chat with IvoryKnight.
Then I’d spent my Sunday working, catching up on school and banging my head against the wall.
Why was I so difficult when it came to relationships?
I could tell a complete stranger about my emotions, but not my friends? People who had proven that they cared about me, wanted to spend time with me, and went out of their way to help me? They—Lin most likely—had bought my dress, given me a makeover, and spent time cheering me up.
I completed another lap and pressed on.
And in return, I had left them high and dry without telling them anything.
They’d probably been worried. Or maybe mad.
I had been ungrateful for their friendship the entire semester so far.
Maybe I had gone too far? Perhaps if I explained how I’d never had friends in real life before...
at least not since my playground days in grade school.
And even then, I preferred to sit by myself and play a handheld.